Ever want to walk past one of your co workers and just slap them in the back of the head as you go by???? I do I do!!! I cant stand that little sweet voice, hiding an evil mean person, that people don’t see past, because she is little and cute. All I ever hear is her talking crap about everyone. And for some reason she now thinks she is my boss even though I have been there 3 years longer. Driving me nuts
Tag:
head
When you get annoyed and inpatient at everything and your head starts to get all jumbled up and you just feel like burning everything and beating something. And you kinda feel like your going crazy.
there’s a hammer pounding on the back of her skull
spiders crawling underneath her skin
She roams this God Forsaken land
covered in scars not deep enough to fatally wound
hands curled up into fists holding her head
Trying to erase herself
The person that she loves cant even comprehend the complexity of her pain
disregarded, like always until its to late
tear stained pillows, snot nose, blood shot eyes
its like the snake of despair bit her
marking her with its venom
For everywhere she goes she snuffs out some kind of light, […]
It’s about that time again – you know, when depression rears its ugly head and you start researching extensively on the internet for exit strategies… Drunk on a saturday and feeling like I can’t escape. Of course I feel awful about leaving my family but really this cannot go on… The suffering and inability to function within society – like a puzzle piece that can’t fit in. I am so fucking tired of being gay which is essentially a death sentence or at least a life long curse of loneliness and harassment.
Normally I try to write better, wax some sort of whining poetic about romanticized […]
I’ve always had an addictive personality. I’ve fought addiction to various drugs, alcohol, things that most people wouldn’t consider addictive like green tea, or Gatorade. Basically I can create a habit anywhere, with anything.
My most recent addiction, false hopes. Now I don’t mean being overly optimistic. I mean, hanging on to an idea that has less than 0.01% chance of happening. It’s what has kept me going lately. The downside, every time reality rears its ugly head, it’s soul crushing.
Maybe I’m delusional?
Had enough of theses four walls had enough of the same shit different day wake up go college going to work etc is this all there is to life ? What is our real purpose for being here apart from destroying the earth and destroying our selfs and then living another 50 years of being unhappy or like someone said on here to slave away to buy a house then call your self free but then your not really free because your stuck with a heavy mortgage over your head then your just living to pay that of but you have to want to live […]
Do you ever have one of those nights where all of the thoughts that you try to keep in the back of your head come out all at once and all you want to do is cry? Well, that’s literally me as I’m typing this. But I wanna know, what are some things that distract you? Or even make you happy? This is starting to become a weekly habit and it needs to stop now.
I’m pretty sure it was a month or 2 ago that I made a post saying that I was hopefully leaving this world and that it could very possibly be my last post. Nope. It didn’t pan out the way I would’ve wanted it to so I’m still here. Around the time I found out it wasn’t going to happen my mother took notice for once of my depression. So it was about 4 years ago that my mother moved me away from my friends and I haven’t made any since, partially due to my social anxiety but also a lack of opportunity. Anyway my […]
I have a decision to kill myself in the head but at the same time I have people who are trying to help me. They want to add psychoanalyst to my psychologist and psychiatrist. Also I am supposed to have a support person who would meet me I don’t know once a week. I feel like its too much. Too many people putting their nose into my business. And it feels like so much effort for nothing.
I don’t see anything changing my mind. Of course I can’t tell them my real thougths. Or maybe I should. I am hospitalized already… Ah I’ve been […]
I just don’t know anymore everyday seems to be more of a struggle how do people live years with suicidal thoughts ? I started having them like 4 years ago and last year I started to act on them in not afraid of dying no more I’m more afraid of living right now it’s kind of sad well I guess this is how my story meant to go and I’m ok with that I think in my life iv had more down days then up days and last year was the loneliest year of all and to be honest the loneliness is killing me more […]
I feel as if it’s only a matter of time before I try another attempt I can’t take being trapped in my own head anymore I think depression is a battle u win if u got the motivation to not give up I’m tired of fighting and nothing going right I literally have no motivation to save my self no more I always sabatage things and I hate myself of that I don’t understand why I do it some thing break that you can’t fix and having to live with the mess after I can’t take the pain anymore
I’ ve written here once before how I was going to kill myself by train. http://suicideproject.org/2015/12/suicidal-but-not-depressed-2/ Surprise, surprise I survived going in front of the train. Don’t know how it is possible, but here I am. They must build weird trains here.
I first became concsiously aware of myself in the mental hospital and I don’t remember going to suicide nor being in the hospital/half of mental hospital. I had head trauma and broken coral bone and that’s it. I wish I had died and don’t know what to do now.
I still don’t want to live but I am short […]
Well, here is Day 4 of Music. This one is from a live-action children’s show. Examp- This post has been hijacked by the group, Destructive yet Thought-Provoking Nihilism. Please listen to The Happiness Committee song, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWIjvPuY2jo and en- This post has been retaken by the organization, Censorship of Reality (And Why It Su… Transmission Terminated. Standing By.) Please excuse us while we enlighten our head writer *gunshots heard*… Moving on, please listen to our intended broadcast.
Hello my deceased father, are you going to help me kill him or kill me? You’re standing in front of my bed talking to me in a voice I do not understand and sounds so foreign. The image of you is so clear it’s like you have been resurrected from the dead to see me one more time, I cannot tell if I am dreaming or awake, this is so surreal. I have to say it is nice to see you again father, even if I do not know your intentions.
Peering out my bedroom window to see my expensive exercise equipment on the lawn of […]
I AM DEATH! Make way one and all
Give me way, for here’s my queue
I am the cliff from which you will fall
From the tears of the beloved, I’ll make myself a devil’s brew.
I’m here, there, I’m everywhere;
Don’t try escaping, for your destiny is locked and I have the key
A baby, a mother, a wee puppy, your lover?
This is the face I use to show I care
Fight me not, just let it be.
I make big men cry,
I make demons laugh
I’ll take your loved ones, don’t ask me why
For like a carpenter does with wood, from you I’ll make a craft.
Come to me, for I have the […]
its probably only me but I just find life too hard. I hate the way my mind works, I just see the bad in everything and feel like I cant fit in with these happy go lucky optimistic people.
I wish there was a way to talk about issues and improve things before they got so bad. But when I was a teenager, I thought they were already really bad, was struggling back then and I didnt want to admit to anything because that would put me in a deeper hole that I already was in.
Just wish there were people that could have helped me when […]
Depression isn’t a mental illness many people understand, this is the problem with society because depression is just a big joke to some. The mental pain of knowing your unloved and that your not beautiful, you could go a whole day with getting told your beautiful but when it comes to the night and your all alone sitting down in bed all you can think of is the hurt and the abuse you get within your head, the voices telling you what they want you to hear. No one should feel this way, it’s horrible being in thus bug black hole with no ending or […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUg9nHU9LBk
Take heart, my little friend
And push back your seat
Soon we’ll be far away
Far from the street
Where you learned how to be
Not what you are
Up on the shoulder
There is a town
With a little motel
And an old movie house
We’ll go to a movie
Whatever it is
Watching the movie
The world’s gonna end
And there ain’t no place for
A boy and his friend
To go
I’ll pick some daisies
From the flower bed
Of the galaxy theater
While you clear your head
I thought some daisies
Might cheer you up
I’ve been feeling like shit lately, turns out holidays and depression isn’t a good combination.Today was shittier than most, just one of those days you know? My parents know about my depression so they got me antidepressant and a roster of other goodies to turn those frowns around. Did you know if you take a lot all at once you feel shittier because they aren’t working and they just sort of numb you but it’s more depressing because you have to realize the only way to handle pain is popping useless pills. So then you grab a razor or a gun and you hold it […]
I’m planning on leaving the 31st. The fact is that I don’t think I can even last that long. All I know is that I will not live to see another year without my friends and family that are already gone. This will probably be the last thing I write here. I’m just going to shoot myself in the head and I’ll finally be free from all of the bullshit.