I can’t go on anymore. Â The pain is to much for me to handle, no one wants me, my mother kicked me out, my father is on the brink. My life is just lies. LIes about school, love, and health. I am not fine…so why do I keep saying I am? I am broken and bruised the only way I feel anything is when the cool metal of the blade touches my skin, I promised I would stop. I can’t .
Death th constant in my life- thoughts,actions,success- my goal, my one and only goal
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf […]
Well I dont know if ive had the roughest life matter of fact I havent, but Ive been through the prison system 3 times and have been homeless on the street for what seemed like forever before I got my family back and got off of drugs. I thought that my life would get better I even felt like I found god, but now Im always questioning myself about different thins like I got a girlfriend and she is awesome and I thought I would feel better about that but I dont. I have crazy thoughts and I dont let anyone know because I dont […]
i know im sick. i have made my stomach so small that a cracker fills me up all day but ive been trying to eat more..not going so well:/ i cant focus on anything cuz im dizzy my vision is spotty im weak and freezing always…everytime i stand up i feel crazy light headed, everytime i breathe it hurts (thats gone on for 3 months) and then i cut a lot more and deep too…suicide is my number one thing on my mind lately…i used to be not tobad…but this doesnt feel right…idk yet but i might see if i can go get help now. […]
I have tried just about everything. I started trying when I was seven years old and have not been successful this far. I am 42 and am in chronic pain. My health is failing which as you could imagine makes one very depressed. As for the gun shot I didn’t try it myself my brother did it for me. At seven I received a gun shot directly into the eye and spent six months in the hospital. I lost an eye over it and a lifetime of pain. Today my health is failing because of the damage that gun did to me all those years […]
lost my mother,my father,my uncle,my car,my dog,my cat, my health, my home, I’m wanted by the sheriff, no one in my family hardly talks to me, I’m thousands of dollars in debt. I can’t have sex, I’m 42 years old. I’m an alcoholic and use drugs, I hate my job, I hate my neighbors, I just want it all to go away!!
I don’t know if anyone can relate to it. I’ve never told anyone before. My story seems different from the stories I see that flood these boards. I’m not depressed or lonely. I do enjoy living. Even, when I have a strange tendency to forget to do the things that keep people alive such as eating food on a regular basis. I do like food. I’m just forgetful. I have friends who remind me to eat so it’s not too bad. In general I am a happy person. When I drink I’m a happy drunk. I most certainly have no intention of dying.
But here I […]
Ok this is weird, i ended up here after doing some searching on the net and was just drawn here. I’m old so maybe im out of place here, heart is bad and having more problems, health has really gone down hill alot this year. I have kids that are adults out doing there own thing, they could care less about anything except themselves. I’m just tired, tired of being tired, i want to just take a handful of sleeping pills and jump on the bike and go for a ride and go out of this life doing what i love the most, taking the […]
I hope nobody i know ever see it, and i hope that feeling will vanish soon.
But, it’s hard. Living unhealthy, unhappy, and lonely.Waking up, knowing the difficulties waiting ahead, the lack of stimulation, ….the limitations that my health imposes me.
Spending too much time at the hospital, in need to be fixed. Can i return that broken body of mine? I wish.
When i feel out of breath, when i can’t take it, i think of going, leaving, you know? Dying.
It’s not as i wanna take my life. It’s a feeling of…expecting, hoping, not to wake up .Wishful thinking.
Will my heart give up now? Tomorrow? Tic tac, […]
Today I was braver than I have been in a long time.
Last year I began starving and throwing up to lose weight. It became a major problem but I made sure no one told. It got better for a few weeks, then took a plunge in December. Coaches, teachers, and friends grew extremely concerned, but I tried making everyone believe I was fine. They saw through me and I started having routine visits to our guidance counselor to check up on me. I lied to her. She found out I lied. I was forced into counseling. At first, I thought I would try, but I […]
to begin, i don’t even know why i’m bothering to write here. desperation, i guess.
on the internet i broke away from communities, i got involved in some pretty nasty self-detrimental whole weight issue ones and though
that whole communal thing was great ultimately it just led to health deterioration. i kind of got out of it, i mean i’m still alive.
i’ve already tried once: to do that whole self-dying thing. it didn’t work. i woke up, rolled out of bed, and went to my eight hour shift/job at the time.
continued on as if it were a normal day. i didn’t think i’d wake up, […]
..so my lovevlife is over ? ? i got the human p. virus.. i have no idea from who. though im pertty sure it was from my ex bf.. and now b/c of it i had to get surgery and now i need to get it again.. its been almost a year since i had the surgery and it sucks. i wont be able to be in a relationship or start seeing someone if I dont get rid of this again… and its gonna be the same routine for the rest of my life… so wtf.. i hate this.. and life. its like im not […]
Why bother attempting something when all it will lead to is embarrassment and worsening of the situation? When somethings fucked, you can never fix it back to 100%, so why do you try? It will never be as good as you could possibly make it.
The social problems started in middle school. Being a quiet nerd has downfalls. What’s worse was trying to break out and improve myself, only to lose the one thing I had going, which was intelligence. Giving up good marks to have a couple friends and still be bullied.
The bullying ended in 9th grade. I suppose everyone was just too weirded out by me to even […]
Well. My best friend is dead, and now my ex killed herself too. I’m like a fucking walking deathnote. I honestly can’t feel a thing anymore. All I feel is pain. I’ve lost everything. My best friend, my friends, my grades, my music, my health. All that’s left to lose is my life. who or what will take that away from me? At this rate, it will be myself.
Not my first time here. I’ve created an account on here before, just forgot the username, pw, and email. :/ I doubt anyone care about that, cux I was barely active on here. I only submitted one post, and that was it. It was around this time when I’ve these thoughts.
What’s up with my life? Like majority of you on here, I’m just unsure anymore. Lot’s been going on. Mom’s diabete, hypertension, and kidney stone. Sister has hypertension. Dad has hypertension. Two brothers have hypertension, and possibly diabete as well. And here I am, well, fine. What the FUCK!!
I’m currently in college, majoring in pre-nursing. […]
I literally have no friends and no family. Work sucks and my health is bad. I am over 50 with over $1M in debt.
So why am I so lucky? I just got my 12 gauge short barrel shot gun with oo-buck. Problem solved.
When you first get on to this site, they send you to the read this first page, then to [http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/]
That site recommends that you talk to someone, anyone. A hotline, a friend, family member, or religious member…
But what happens when you’re too afraid to call, or don’t have access to a phone when you are ready to turn the switch?
what happens when you’re too young to feel so old and no family member wants to even acknowledge you’re their vicinity when you’re depressed?
what happens when the man you’re in love with is too controlling and you’re not allowed to even have a friend […]
As I am now “literally” in the & from the future, I wish everyone here, young & old(er) a somewhat happy New Year, and I genuinely hope/want/desire that you all have a “better” (not perfect, it doesnt exist) year ahead.
Will there be so so days or problems? Off course there will be not so good days & problems. Thats normal. That is life.
Staying positive is really like eating. If you don’t do it regularly enough, your entire health suffers.
Can I make a suggestion to everyone, whether you are sick or not? Use google for good ~ Go Google “inspirational quotes” (or people who have overcome […]
half heartedly i name the things
you suggested to me
somewhat in consideration but
in the back of my mind this just isnt right
the stars are too bright too clear
i dont want to see whats happening
yeah sure write what you want
the weekly apology
try to invest in me
have a morning glass of gasoline
have an afternoon light
when a break from bad luck is right
life leads you through a bad scene
focus only on whats happening
don’t forget details are the key
ever since i chose what i chose
i have antarctic bones
real love is a daydream
absent from reality
i cant seem to find it within me
not anyone except for you
can give it straight
bring it […]
I’m just about finished with my plans to finally go to peaceful sleep.
The doctors, hey they don’t care, never have. Too much in a hurry to see the next dope come in with another fee for them to pay for their swimming pool.
I went to a new doctor who seemed so different, seemed caring. NOT
He told me that all the constipation, pain, spasms of intestines, vertigo, these are just an anxiety attack. Up to then I cared about his diagnosis but after I decided its time to go to that eternal sleeping peace. The place I was before […]
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