I have two kids. I had them young. I am in college. I live in a trailer. I don’t have contact with my parents. I have overdosed once in my life, years back. I was sent to the hospital and there was a series of events. I feel low, just as low as before. I feel like a bad mom for being so depressed. I feel overwhelmed, I hate my life, I hate being alive. I love my kids but I feel bad I don’t love them enough to want to stick around. I don’t want to live. I really don’t. I have almost no […]
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I live
Do you hate when people lie to comfort you? I do…that is what happened yesterday and today. So, I am talking to my counselor and I tell her something that happened at home. I say you cannot tell, please. But nope… “I am sorry, I am mandated to tell” was her response. Then she tells me “nothing will come of it.” Then today I get told “something will most definitely come of it.” I don’t know who to believe; my counselor or the other person. I was also told “well it was nice knowing you. They’re gonna talk you out of your house.” Which where […]
I live a life that feels like a lie…. I smile and fake happiness because I feel like it is expected. My husband says “I don’t get it? Why are you always sad?” House, kids, job, family…. I should be happy right. What’s wrong with me that I live everyday wishing I had the guts to end it. To look at my “life” from the outside you would see a happy mother who always smiles, does activities with family, friends etc but it is all BS. I’m so tired. Tired of faking the smiles, tired of acting like everything […]
Lately I’ve been asking myself one question. What’s the point of everything I’m doing?
Why am I trying?
Who really even care’s what happens to me?
See I’m a single mom of two. I have a two year old and a four year old. An ex who doesn’t give two flying chicken nuggets about them and a family that more or less feels like they despise me lately. I can’t get over no matter how hard I try people still seem to hate me for some reason. I screwed up and called a close friend a friend today and he got upset because he was hoping for the […]
I guess I’m just feeling alone and discouraged. I live with my friends and they are all at university, getting there lives together, and then there is me. The people I live with, their parents pay for everything for them, their rent, food, shopping. I have to pay for everything for myself. I may sound like I’m complaining but its very hard to watch your friends get things handed to them when you are struggling. Sometimes I wish I was born into a very rich family with parents who are never around or don’t really care for me. I don’t know what would be worse, […]
The tears just wont stop coming
Every day now – I cry
I ask God to take me – to give me some relief from this hell I live in
For a very short time, I thought there was hope
But just like everyone else, he left me alone
I was stupid to even believe in a glimmer of happiness
It never comes
I don’t want to be here anymore
2 nights ago I dreamed I was torn apart by a mountain lion – and that peace, that you only find in death – I felt that in the dream.
And then I woke up […]
I always thought that the majority of my reasons is because of me… How broken and misserable i am… But now i realize… You are the reason why im completely broken and why im misserable…. Coz you’re a parasite… You suck me dry of my ambitions… How could i have energy to make my life better when each day you fill me with hate anger and resentments. I spend soooo much time with self pitty and crying. I spend so much energy pretending to be happy… And you know what… I cant pretend anymore… You wonder why i nag??? Well maybe coz the things you […]
Hi. Hopeful title I know.
So I’m a 21yo male with aspergers. I live with my mom, I can’t communicate, I have no friends, and I barely interact with my family. I do not want to feel happy, I want 100% with every fiber of my being to die. I’m not taking antidepressants because I figure if I’m sad all the time that will give me more of a motive to kill myself. I was on them for a while, and every time I tried to socialize I just got suicidal again. My dad is own antidepressants because I can’t hold a relationship with him.
You might […]
There’s this bridge in the town that I live in that a lot of people have committed suicide by jumping off of. They put suicide barriers up but I noticed there was a hole in them and I could get through it to jump if I wanted to. I feel like jumping would be an easy way to go so I’ll probabay do that soon.
it sucks having no real friends 🙁 I love all the people I meet in the internet, here, but at the end of the day we are alone. I live in a big city and its depressing. everyone has a great life and knowing I don’t its depressing. my so called friend called me a ‘deppresive person’ . I told him my story and it seems he doesn’t understand. I feel so alone. suicide I want that that carbon monoxide. im thinking about it over and over again. what do you believe after death? what are your beliefs? I’ve been told suicide is sin and […]
I got here and my motivation tanked. I laid on the ground and cried for hours. I haven’t seen any more trains when there’s supposed to be over 100 a day, and they seem to move too slow. In any case, my first name is Seth. I live in Chicago. I’m in a public place. I’ll be back to work in the morning.
My decision to put an end to a meaningless is solid. To not have a family or love is not a mental illness. I have worked so damn hard in my life to what? to end up living in some shitty basement suite by myself and to be lonely. I haven’t held hands with someone in almost 3 years, I barely eat because I’m over cooking food for myself, I’m also unemployed. I can’t do this anymore.
Would anyone know where to find n3mbut@l or something like it in BC? I live in Canucks home base. I just want my soul to be free.
I’m new here. This is my first post.
I served in Afghanistan. I’ve seen some of the most evil shit imaginable. I used to carry a pack full of gear, ammunition, ordinance, etc…
Now I carry a pack full of insecurity, self doubt, self hatred, and sadness. How did I end up here? How come some men can stow their shit away and never look at it again, and others (such as myself) cannot? I’ve been nearly killed on several occasions, but I’m still here. The only things that bring me happiness are my kids, my girl, and a V Twin with wheels. I’ve become indifferent as […]
This is the last place that I’m willing to share my thoughts. I’m tired of trying to help people understand how I feel about life; it’s a waste of a breath. As a self-professed nihilist, one of the big rules that I live by is that “it doesn’t matter what other people know”. Trying to convince anyone of anything is a waste of breath. Just leave them all to their own meaningless thoughts and I’ll stick to mine.
But here, I’m as close to being around comrades as I’ll ever be. Even though I feel half dead from a viral infection in my chest, that
Same shit different day as they say in modern society. People like us just can’t say that anymore. I feel that I would rather the pain than just nothing. I am more a mindless machine than anything. Hour by hour. Day by day. Endless pain and suffering. If there IS light at the end of this tunnel, this is a long ass tunnel. But it seems darker and more inforgiving than 2012, when I thought I could beat this thing. To all who read this, just remember, we are not ill. We are REAL!! We are considered to be wrong for seeing the world in […]
The guy I love has his life and a ton of friends. I can see how we’re not as close already. I have no one and he doesn’t understand. He honestly thinks he’s been rejected more than I have but I call bullshit because I’m rejected from every damn thing for my looks even for a place to stay! I’ve been told I don’t look human and shouldn’t be allowed outside. I literally am homeless because I’m too ugly for anyone to accept my money as payment for rent. I’m laying on the floor at work for fuck’s sake and it’s the first time I’ve […]
As I sit in my lonely room in this midnight I see the hell I live in I see my dad put guns up to my moms head and then act like everything is okay I have to see my mom on drugs and she has been on them her whole life and when I was younger I thought she was actually happy but it was the drugs but now im 13 and im a drug attic and im a alcoholic I also self harm and these are the only way I can escape
Hi I’m 24 year old male. When I was a baby I had surgery. I have scars behind each EAR… Look up v2k mind control…. Since I was a minor the town I live in turned me into a chomo. I was in my teens and the voices told me to look at teen porn…when I was in my 20s I remember getting outta jail and the voices were telling me to look at minor porn. Now the world pisses in my food and drinks and comes into my home. And pee in my shampoo n soap and toothpaste. So you still think you have […]
It’s funny actually. How life plays out slowly. And sometimes painfully. I guess I have no explainable reason I want to commit suicide. There are reasons. Believe me there. Very deep reasons. I have thought long and hard about this. And I have made up my mind. That I am taking my life. I am not writing this in sought for. Help one would say.. Buy more in the form of. The finale will redemption. I have no one to give anything to so it’s very bothering.
I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. I am very young. Very young indeed. I have a very active […]