Im scared. Im so scared of death but at the same time I want, I need to die. Theres no purpose for me in life. My grades are droping in school, cant sleep or concentrate on anything. IM nothing more then a ghost, 3/4 dead and im scared im gonna break( if I haven’t already.) and then ill be gone, 6 ft under. I most likely wont even make it to 16, I wont have a husband or have kids. why? Because im a goddamn coward. It would be so easy to just give up, no more pain, or depression…
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im
Im so sorry.
To Mom: Im sorry you’ll never see me become the happy man with family that you always wanted me to be. I’m sorry i was always miserable. Im sorry I never talked to you. Im sorry for being so difficult and putting you through so much.
To my Sister: We always got along rather well. But i could never explain to you whats going on in my mind. I know this will only hurt you and mom more, but I couldn’t take hurting anymore. Im sorry i’ll never be a uncle for your daughter.
To Her: Im so sorry. I know this is the last […]
I want to die really. I turn to people around me and tell me I should work. how can I have ambition if everything in my life sucks. Im ugly , I’m going to die alone, why continue? im tired. I hate being me and I want to get out of here. I really do.. im trying to see the few good things I have but its hard. I want to hang myself its the only way I could do it
I have a health issue that im trying to address. Everyone ignores when i say this. They just think im crazy over some bs. That is fine. But dont insult me. I dont bring up your drinking problems, your previous drug problem, the fact that you are two faced toward everyone. I dont bring up that you were previoulsy a a prostitute. I dont judge you all. How dare you judge me, but wont even listen to me when i try to explain my health issue. Thats fine. Believe what you want. i hope you all die or end up homeless, instead of me. Im […]
by each passing day my suicide toughts grow stronger. I think I hate every person, even my family members. I cant find a girlfriend and i dont think i ever will. My life is revolving around finding pleasure in meaningless sex…I am constantly in the center of attention and being bullied due to my hieght ( im 6 feet 9 ( 207cm))…the only thing keeping me alive is my passion for music. I’ve been paying the guitar for about 5 years and i cant see myself doing anything other in life but making music. It is my way of expressing myself. I act coldhearted to […]
Im horrible Im a fucking *****,When im in public I act like a wretched *****,I make faces and im rude and have somehow some way (probably through using crystal meth) mastered the art of “igorning” people without even saying a word Please forgive Im horrible and I have problems I have fucking problems
I hate my life
Im fucked up,Im wrong
world im sorry im fucking horrible dude
It’s been a few months since ive wanted to commit suicide and been depressed and each time it happens or cycles i feel closer and more at peace with going through with it just have to be nice about it and fix my funeral expenses. When it happens i wont be mucking around i will down a few downers down some alcohol and choose my method which should be pretty peaceful.
I came to this world with lots of drive and motivation and somewhere along the line got caught up with the wrong crowed from school and got caught up in drugs and alcohol. 10 […]
Im a 20 year old male and this is my story, i dont really feel like commiting suicide but i just want to share this story. I have never cutted or harmed myself in any way possible.
Ive been a normal kid before someone told me i got a tad fatter in a matter of weeks (im still 2mteters talls and i weigh 75kg..). Since that day my life went downhill really fast, i started to look away from people and the real life because i fellt like i wasnt good enough in others peoples eyes. Since that day i just felt like anything i did […]
So, tonight I go to church with my girlfriend but she seemed to be to herself so I begin communicating to her god sister who made me highly frustrated. So, I speak to my girlfriends friend and so on. No physical contact with any of them, no intimate talk just laughing and having a good time. And every now and then I tried bringing my girfriend in but she just wouldnt. Later I text her god sister apologizing for being sensitive as she told me she was joking. Even later I text my girlfriend and let her know im home and ready to call her […]
Its so strange that i have a wife and 2 beautiful children and to anyone else they would think i have nothing to be depressed about but it doesnt work like that, i do love my children but i dont chose to have the feelings i do, it just happens and i cannot shake the dark days.
I did love my wife and hope i still do, by that i mean the depression is so overpowering it can cloud how i really feel about people so i dont know my feelings which is worse than knowing you do or dont love someone.
I often feel […]
i give up i think im going to go crawl in a whole and wait for death since im to damn scared to do it myself
im never good enough for anybody, im always sad. most of my friends are gone, i dont know what i do. i think a lot about death but never had the courage to fulfill it.
I’m so exhausted and lonely. I am so alone. I just want to cut open my wrists. All I do is have pain. Fb’s come and go. No family. I guess god wants me to come home? i don’t know. all i see is a bad future. where i live is such hell. a woman actually posted a “go away” sign on her door. i can hear the new neighbor laughing thru the walls. wish she would shut up, wish i wasnt crying. i dont know how to keep doing this. tried to call a friend, she’s always busy. this is not a life. so […]
i havent been commenting much lately. im sorry for that. you guys mean the world to me. but how can i help anyone else if i cant help myself? if i make it through the night, ill be back tomorrow, but as it stands right now, i just dont know. i dont fucking know. i do know that im terrified of whats next. im scared of an afterlife. but damn.. anything is better than this
Im back to where I started this time in front of my parents I bit myself as hard as I could in front of them. They said I need help but my whole family does. I just got in a relationship with a girl I have been dying to be with. And now my mother treats our relationship like its her messed up marriage saying I give her too much attention and soon she will get tired of me and not love me anymore. She even had the audacity to go to my girlfriend and tell her “Dont distract him from what he needs to […]
. i just wish i could connect with someone. i dont know if i have much time left with my internet. Also, im not sure if i have much of my particular life left. I wish i could say something meaningful right now, something that i can give to the world, before i pass away either from heartache, or from some other reason.
my ex came back into my life. She told me the biggest load of bullshit and that we need to stop talking, then 2 months later she texts me about how she cried cause she missed me. WHat the fuck. HOW’re you gonna lie to me, then tell then come back 2 months later. I tried so hard to bring back the relationship but she just ignored me. I brought her back of course, she’s like the only person i think ever cared about me, About my well being. Shes the only person on earth who knows im suicidal. She’s the main reason i wanna […]
does it make sense that i hate myself because im too skinny? Most people hate being too fat i hate being too skinny. I want to be strong, i want to be big. Someone girls find attractive. Not someone they laugh at cause my body type is like a 5th grader. I want to be someone’s first option. Not “oh i invited 20 other people youre the 21st. wanna come” i want to be a friends first option, a girls, my fucking mother. I cant even be a first option to my mother. It makes you feel useless. I dont do anything. I sit home […]
I think I fucked up everything. I was a fuck up socially in school. Barely had anyone to talk to. That wasn’t very fun. I used to never leave the house. I was just a sad piece of shit. That all kinda changed this year. Met some people, started going to concerts. Actually had a job for over a year. My life was getting so good. Then I met this girl. She was amazing. Everything about her was perfect. Even her imperfections I ended up loving. The way she let her messy hair go. The way she never wore makeup because she didn’t give a […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]