My dog is the ultimate homie. I often wonder if anyone enjoys my company as much as him. Anyday, anytime he’s pumped to see me except for a few times when i got pissed as all hell at him for running away. I can’t blame him though I feel the same most of the time. Thinking of running away is often the only thing that gets my blood bumping. The farther I imagine myself from here the harder my heart beats. I feel alive. I just want to fade away, never to return. I’d like to head down to patagonia and surf one of the […]
Tag:
Imagine
Goodbye, I wish I could have left you with more. But, this pretty much sums up why I have decided to move on. Don’t worry, if there is such a thing as ghosts I will stay and watch over you all until the end.
I have always felt that suicide was connected to communication. Not due to a lack of opportunity, but to an impossibility to communicate and be understood. It can be frustrating to try to share something with somebody, something important and real to you, and see in the face of another person that he doesn’t care or, worse still, simply doesn’t understand you. […]
This is what i need desperately to tell my mother, but i cant because she committed suicide 6 month ago.
She was sick, desperate and when she told me she was going to kill herself, i couldn´t believe her. I didn´t do anything because it just simply CANNOT be true.
I regret a lot of things but the worse, what I cant stand, is that she had to kill herself to die. I wish, even though she wanted to die, she could have the chance to do it pacefully in a bed instead of what she did. It really breaks my heart to imagine how much she […]
(A lot of the things I have to say in this post are comments I have already made in replies to posts by others. If something I say seems familiar to you, you probably read one of my previous comments.)
I once heard someone say that for some people, this world was never going to be quite right. I agree with that assesment. I see many people here on this site just like me. They feel alone, even in a room full of people. Somehow, no matter what we do, we just don’t fit into “the groove” that everyone else seems to. Because of this, everyone […]
If this is what it takes
to show that I’m hurting
then let me die.
If this is what it takes
to show that I want you,
love you,
care for you,
then let me down.
It wouldn’t be the first time you let me down.
When I held the bottle of death,
you yelled, never wept.
Took your sweet time and left.
Gave excuses and never took the blame.
Never accepted being wrong, still it’s the same.
When I needed you,
you never came.
It’s always going to be the same.
So I’ll light another cigarette,
so the smoke will take the scream.
I’ll take the weed if it promises to take the pain,
the regret,
the memories.
Just forget,
they tried to say “You’ll get over […]
Let us take a walk, follow me to the edge of this building. The climb up here
was very tough wasn’t it? Did you say a hundred flights to the top? I guess the
elevator is still out of order than? I have been up here for a long time. I’ve
been looking down at this city. Don’t worry we can’t fall off from this ledge.
I’ve fallen enough times in my life, once more wouldn’t be so bad anyway. I
didn’t mean to trouble you my friend. Are you cold? It can be chilly out here
exposed to the world. Here take my coat. […]
Its amaxing to realise that this “high” i had felt wasnt really a high at all it just a foreign reactiontat o detected as a high but really it is the normal feelings that i am supposed to feel. This is my theory anyway….i really hope its accurate :/.
I can only imagine how azing high must feel….beyond satisfying.
Oh how ive been missing out.
Itakes me rage inside to see how other people have these “normal” feelings without even realising how good they have it.
Anyway …i feel these feeling starting to come about naturally..growing stronger and stronger…
maybe one day ill really believe it […]
i am the nothing man. i carry doom and gloom as my closest companions. i have no talent, no goals, no desires, no hope and i can’t wait to die. the one thing i do have is family and friends, and honestly, that is the reason why i’m still breathing on this god forsaken earth.
at random times throughout the day i visualize a bullet penetrating my skull and blowing my brains out. it feels more peaceful than anything else that i can imagine. to end the suffering which is my mind would be liberating.
i tried for many years to blame the injustices of […]
I hate you, you fucked up and lost it all. Get out of my head. Stop reminding me daily….your mom doesn’t want you back. You’ve lost your family. Your fucked. You can’t fix it. Help me. I want to but I don’t. Anybody. Talk to me. . I fucking hate you you stupid *****, look what you did. I’m sorry. I never thought it would turn out like this. It did. Now look at you, sitting here while it eats you alive while your not even fighting back. How can I try when it’s overpowered me? Nobody’s gonna fucking listen anyway, they say they will […]
Have you ever felt loss?
Like completely losing something or someone?
When everything you cared about was connected to your heartstrings, but it’s being brutally ripped away?
Like you’re being completely isolated from everything worth living for?
Have you ever truly experienced it?
Loss. Honestly I think it’s the worst feeling you could ever imagine.
Your whole body tenses and you just want to scream. And die.
You wake up in hell, and it’s not a dream.
It’s not possible to escape.
It’s fears favorite tool. Complete and utter loss.
You’re afraid you can’t survive on your own and you’re only breathing if your taking […]
Imagine somewhere dark.Â
Now imagine yourself in the middle of it.
Imagine yourself in a cell, with no way out.
You’re scraming, you’re crying but no one hears you. There’s no one around you. You’ve pushed away everyone who cared.
Imagine you have no clothes on, you’re naked, there’s nothing protecting you from the cold iron surrounding you. You are powerless.
There’s smoke around you, growing thicker and thicker. It’s dark. It’s feels like darkness’ tendrils. They start surrounding you, not allowing you to move, you are stuck.
Stuck in a cell, not able to move, all by yourself. There’s no strenght left in you, each breath already drains so much […]
My best friend stayed with me for 20 days, We were high the entire time laughing and listening to the radio, and watching cartoons, when he left it smashed my heart in half I was just coming down and the whole thing felt like I time warped through it all. My plan was to kill myself after my friend left, I made the most of the time but now the moment is on me, it warped so fast I cant believe it. Even seeing the names of any shows I watched with him makes my heart clench up, He doesnt expect it, I didnt realize […]
It’s been awhile since I’m here. and I find myself coming here more and more often. Because nothing else interests me anymore. I can’t think about anything else. I think death just avoids me. I mean, every single day I hear about people getting in accidents or falling ill and dying. And every day, it’s not me. I ask myself why, and I can answer this question, weirdly though. BECAUSE NOBODY IN THE WORLD LEADS SUCH AN EMPTY LIFE AS MINE. People do something, go somewhere, engage themselves, and they get things happening. I don’t. I am too afraid to do something. I am afraid […]
I will kill myself.
I just need a letter.
I’m a waste of space. A stain on society.I’m marked with my past. All over.With ink, scars. My skin is like a road map.
I have no friends. No family.
My only loving sibling is gone. Deceased for over 3 years, now. My older sister resents me. My younger sister hardly knows me.
I’m never even around.
I don’t deserve to be around.
I know I won’t be missed.
No one will ever be upset.
That’s just the way it is, I suppose.
I’m hated, anyway. Why stay in a place where you’re stuck? Where you’re hated.
Where you’re nothing but a waste?
I imagine other people […]
Hello, I am a 16 heats old boy from norway. I have during the past year been wondering on wether or not my life is worth living. I have all my life been interested and engaged in looks and beauty stuff (I am 100% straight). i just care how i look. lately, the last year i have been bothered with my looks. i wont go into specifics because that is not relevant. I simply cant imagine myself living a life as the person I am. when i look around i can hardly find anyone id rather not be. im not extremely ugly, many or some might find […]
Here’s a scenario… imagine your life was nothing. Imagine waking up every morning scared of what will happen today….knowing nothing will happen because you aren’t good enough and some one in your head constantly reminds you of it. You promise yourself it’ll be different but that second person knows it wont and flaunts it. You get ready for school and if you don’t have time or your hair isn’t doing the right thing you freak out and hyperventilate. You think you’re having a heart attack and can not breathe but you still make your way out the door and to the bus for school. Once you […]
I can’t get this feeling to go away. I feel bitter, I feel lost, I feel helpless.. I want to drink myself into a coma. I try so hard to make everyone happy even though everything is literally falling apart all around me. My best friend’s sister died 3 months ago in a drunk driving accident, she was 19.  even though we weren’t that close, she was still like an older sister to me. and I have never seen someone so young and so beautiful be so still and so lifeless. she didn’t even look like herself at all.. it haunts me everyday, all I can […]
About 5 years ago my youngest sister was molested by my “mothers” husband. She was only 7 years old at the time and I was 11. As you could imagine I didn’t know what to think at the time. If the claim was true or not, I wasnt there. Of course she told her schools guidance counselor, she needed to tell someone. Next thing I knew, some lady from social services picked me up from school and not knowing what was going on I asked her if she knew. Til this day I really have no idea why she got all in my face about […]
If it weren’t for you Kira, I’d never have heard this song.
Listening to this song and thinking of you makes me smile.
I remember we were coming up with our own lyrics, to sing along.
And this is what you wrote for me.
Kira 16:59
Sometimes she imagines
that she would like to be
a person I call jj
who is kind and dear to me
My dear, sweet Kira. I can’t believe you’ve gone. It’s still not settled in.
Sometimes I imagine
that I would like to be
a person next to Kira
holding hands, just quietly.
I tip my hat to you, love.
See you […]
Whenever I imagine ways to commit suicide, I cannot help but to imagine even more ways of something going wrong. When I imagine screwing up and placing myself in an even worse nightmare, such a terrible feeling wells up within me and I become afraid of attempting suicide. I feel so trapped because of this, and because I believe at some point in my life it really is going to be the humane thing for me to do, and I don’t think I can get anyone to do it for me. I feel like I want to convince a physician to please euthanize me, but I know they won’t do it.