Tag:

in pain

A strange craving

by thisislife 1/22/2016

written by thisislife

I’m not mean, but I’m truthful.

I’m not crazy, I’m just unconventional.

I’m not alive, although I’m not dead.

I’m not depressed, however I am in pain.

I’m in pain because I’m conflicted. Why? Because I love dragging the sharp blade across my skin. The way it stings, the way my blood drips, the way it makes me feel.

Every once and a while, my cravings increase to a point of concern. It’s not longer just hurting myself by the pocket knife I keep by my bedside, it’s wondering what it would feel like to crash my car into a tree. What it would feel like to fall off of […]

1/22/2016 3 comments

Protected: I hate my life!

by lonelyme85 1/20/2016

written by lonelyme85

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

1/20/2016 0 comment

It’s 5am again

by Dungeon 1/19/2016

written by Dungeon

It’s 5am , don’t want to sleep. My life is a jungle I shouldn’t have traversed and I’m stuck in the quicksand of my own errors. Things will not change for me. I will eventually be swallowed and surrounded by warm shadows. I want nothing, I want to be nothing. There’s almost nothing left of me. I switch from being numb to being in pain until once again I feel nothing, a maelstrom that I will never escape. Maybe it’s time I got off this ride.
There may be no doors for this Dungeon, but there’s still a way out.

1/19/2016 0 comment

Never Ending War… I’m Still Here…

by Ylem 1/14/2016

written by Ylem

And I aint going nowhere until I feel it’s time for me to go.

I’m more determined than ever to stick to my plan.

I am filled with so much anger and hatred, it scares me. The things that run through my head scare the shit out of me. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts. I shouldn’t be having all these homicidal thoughts. But, they are all I’m holding onto right now. They are what keeps me sane. My head is all fucked up.

I live with monsters. I can see myself slowly becoming a monster as well. They keep poking. Well, I will finally poke them back.

Poke […]

1/14/2016 4 comments

what is this

by fruitpopsicle 1/12/2016

written by fruitpopsicle

maybe its just me and these strange feelings. I have no idea what it is nor how it started, began, developed and spread faster than a wildfire in the chamber of my heart.
you know that frustrating feeling when the person you care most about is in pain and all the loving, all the caring you poured into will never be able to take the pain away. shes my best friend but maybe shes more than just that, she sees me as any other friends she has but to me, shes a genuinely nice individual whom i cant bear to see in pain.
and all […]

1/12/2016 2 comments

SP has saved my life

by kbking6 1/10/2016

written by kbking6

Lastnight was a dark dark time for me, I had everything almost ready to end my life. Then I received an email from someone on here. In my worst time I had someone who actually cared and didn’t even know me. That email brought happiness and light back into me, and I opened my eyes for the first time – my life hasn’t been easy and I felt like it was the last hit I could take!

my brake up – she replaced me with another man – she left me for dead – this was my worst love and her pluge will only continue to […]

1/10/2016 4 comments

End me

by Dungeon 1/2/2016

written by Dungeon

I can’t stand being alive, I fucking hate it. I hate my family, I hate living in this house, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without the thought of ending my useless self. When I wake up I’m in pain and even if I was able to fall asleep I get zero rest. Nothing gives me any sense of release. Cutting, drinking, smoking all make me feel worse. I’m so fucking alone. My room feels like a prison but its my only safe place. Only reason I haven’t tried offing myself again is because I know my dad would probably kill himself […]

1/2/2016 24 comments

And I’m telling you, I just want to die.

by mranony 1/2/2016

written by mranony

My parents discovered my cuts because my aunt told them when she noticed it.

I don’t know how to explain it to them. I just want to end it all. Yes, I appreciate the good things. Yes, I am aware of your love. Yes, life is beautiful. I KNOW. I FUCKING KNOW. BUT I JUST REALLY REALLY HATE MYSELF. I JUST WANT TO DIE.

Why do you say it like it’s my fault that I need to say sorry? Why do you say it like you’re the victim? Because you were hurt? That the pain on your back is coming back because of my cutting habit? Why […]

1/2/2016 13 comments

I’m Exhausted

by Dungeon 12/30/2015

written by Dungeon

Everyday is the same. I can’t sleep, I sit in bed trying to remember why I even do this anymore. When I get up I’m in pain and I shut myself in this little prison I’ve made of my room. I’m truly alone, I don’t exist to anyone.

When no one is home sometimes I’ll stare out my front windows and wonder what it’s like being those people that walk around with friends without having to worry about panic attacks or breakdowns. I’ve tried an extensive amount of medications and none of them help, they usually give me bad side effects too.

I can’t afford a therapist […]

12/30/2015 5 comments

Happy Xmas

by Nusu Nusu 12/25/2015

written by Nusu Nusu

2015 wasn’t an easy year for me. I didn’t attempt to kill myself but the thoughts at times to do so, were relentless. Last couple of months I’ve been doing group therapy for the first time since I was a teenager, with people that share my particular label which is borderline personality disorder. It feels good to be around people who are in the same boat. It has helped me feel less alone. I’m having to use my annual leave at work, to attend the appointments, which is a bit rough, because normally I’d use my annual leave as ‘sick days’ or as a day […]

12/25/2015 2 comments

I’m back…

by -E- 12/24/2015

written by -E-

So I’m back… It’s been over a year since my last post and at the current moment I’m not really suicidal. I’m just in pain and I’m scared. There’s a girl I used to be good friends with and she was kinda like my therapist and now we don’t talk. Over the past year my emotions have built up and now they’re starting to be released… Violently. And I’m scared. There’s a girl I wanna ask out but if she says yes, what if I accidentally go off on her? I don’t want to hurt her. I really like her. I’m just scared […]

12/24/2015 3 comments

Will my depression ever end?

by bah 12/22/2015

written by bah

I’ve been depressed since I was 7. I’m tired of always being tired, and sad, and depressed, and feeling shitty about myself, my life, just everything. I’m just a giant black ball of darkness… I’m tired of being tormented, of always being in pain. I wish I was “normal” and had a “normal” life and felt happy good feelings, instead of feeling like I’m dying all the time…

12/22/2015 20 comments

Worst

by evildandelions 12/16/2015

written by evildandelions

Today, as I wracked with sobs, hiding from my parents and my visiting friend, never have I ever wanted to be dead as much.

I am so angry-sad that, in the first time I can remember, I was so close to being truly happy only to have it snatched away literally weeks before it could’ve happened. I could’ve been not depressed (or significantly less so) and still be engaged to the woman I love. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Even after everything I’ve been through, this might be the worst. Maybe because I was so close to being happy, that it was actually attainable. […]

12/16/2015 2 comments

I am sure that my only option is suicide

by UselessAndHopeless 12/12/2015

written by UselessAndHopeless

22, male suffering from emotional, mental and physical pain.

No real friends. They all left after high school and the ones I kept are either doing their own thing or gone separate ways. I don’t go out or socialize. If I do, it’s rare.

Riddled with anxiety. Can’t get a girlfriend, still a Virgin. Hopeless at talking to girls and developing new friendships or relationships. Good talk but never goes anywhere far. I’m seen as too nerdy or mature. I just hate how people view me as some sort of stranger.

Physical pain. Suffering from back pain, shoulder pain, knee pain. Can’t do anything physical anymore. Job involves […]

12/12/2015 9 comments

Protected: The Pain Will Never Go.

by daitya1989 11/9/2015

written by daitya1989

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

11/9/2015 6 comments

by deerdezz 10/26/2015

written by deerdezz

I really feel like im out of touch lately. Kinda droning on by..just on auto-pilot most of the times. My visions been getting weird and im having bouts of dizziness every now and then. I feel like im in pain both physically and emotionally that its just been one drug after another. Hell, just the other night i wrapped up ‘life is strange’ with a cocktail of rum two painkillers, a muscle relaxer and my sereoquel to top it off. And i was still awake and in pain into odd hours of the morning…feel like im growing a little dependant on popping pills just to […]

10/26/2015 3 comments

New Storms For Older Lovers

by IsleyOfTheNorth 10/23/2015

written by IsleyOfTheNorth

I’ve come here as a man in shambles
Worn out from begging on my knees
Please, I’m just trying to keep my family together
Now, when you saw your lover wore a ring around her finger
Why didn’t you stop
I have half a mind to make you hurt
To make you bleed, to make you suffer
I swear if you’ve touched her
Oh, heaven forgive what I would do to you
You monster
Think about your children
They’ll never believe what you’ve done
Listen, I am begging you, back off
Let me rebuild the things you’ve shattered
She meant it
I swear that she […]

10/23/2015 8 comments

well….fuck this!

by alexia 10/20/2015

written by alexia

so….depression….isn t that the worst *****? i feel that i can t and won t do it….it stole everything from me…even myself. i ve been happy, i know the feeling, i miss it like the human misses oxygen. i can t have it back….i had a break down and lost everything.nothing can change the past and we cannot rewrite history. i choose not to live in pain. i tried for a while…some meds, some therapy….nothing worked…i just want and wanted out. this fear of fucking death, the unknown, still keeps me here…i know it won t be for long…i can t bear too much. honestly…life […]

10/20/2015 11 comments

Reaching out

by TenTiki 10/7/2015

written by TenTiki

Hi, i’ve never really posted on anywhere like this before but i don’t really know what else to do.

I’ve contemplated suicide so many times throughout my life and recently everyone feels like it’s finally coming to a climax, as if ive already accepted that i’m going to die soon, and i want to go out on my own terms.

I’ve been struggling with multiple health issues which make everyday life horrendous, i’m constantly spaced out and in pain almost every waking minute, it’s too much to take.

I’m also incredibly lonely, not even my family speaks to me unless it’s to start an argument or take out […]

10/7/2015 8 comments

Trapped

by TimeGoesOnButForHowLong 9/28/2015

written by TimeGoesOnButForHowLong

Hello, I’m M22.

I think I was a good kid in childhood. Studied well, played sports etc. But I was always sad. I never really had friends when I was young. I lived out of city and there were no other people except for my family. I hated the woods and I always thought I missed a lot in my life. The loneliness stayed with me. Also my parent were (and still are) fighting each other, a lot of violence stays in memories. At one point I started to hate my family.

The first time I had suicidal thoughts I think I was 16 or 17. I don’t even […]

9/28/2015 2 comments

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