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in the

Ariii

by ariii 6/19/2015

written by ariii

This is a long story, so bear with me.

From the beginning: I’m a female, live in a pretty rural setting, was 20 years old when things got really bad. I’ve experienced complex trauma and was pretty angry, violent, self-destructive, depressed etc. all through childhood and adolescence. I moved to a new town in my late teens, got a job at a local social services agency, and moved into an apartment, which after about 9 months my partner moved into also. Mid December — right before finals week at college, actually — my partner and I ended things and she moved out. We had been together the […]

6/19/2015 5 comments

Anyone heard from distant road?

by theWhispersOfMySins 6/18/2015

written by theWhispersOfMySins

Hey…

Anyone heard from the user distant road in the last while? Things were going better for him last we spoke. But my last email from him is from Feb 13. I know of two others who have lost contact with him too. His email no longer seems to be working either. If anyone has heard from him or knows what happened I would appreciate the closure. Thanks.

6/18/2015 6 comments

11 Things I’m Going to Miss When I’m Gone

by Black_Heart2001 6/18/2015

written by Black_Heart2001

The sound of rain hitting the glass and pavement
Using my authority as Student Council President to scare off other students
Touching the wall after swimming 200 Fly and realising I won
Swimming the medley relay with our team – The Ultimate Team – and getting 5th in the country
Having my parents yell at me when I forget to wear slippers in the house
Dancing in the graveyard
Perfectly executing an aerial cartwheel at the ShaoLin Wushu Festival
Shaking hands with the conductor as the First Chair Flute
Doing a ‘Csardas’ duet with my boyfriend on violin and me on flute
Playing out all my frustration and sorrow on the piano and flute
Telling […]

6/18/2015 3 comments

humans are scum

by silvermoon 6/18/2015

written by silvermoon

I’m tired. Nobody cares, and nobody cares on here most of the time, either. Social media is shit but then again so is life. At least I pour this out. I go to bed and can only sleep now with pills. The internet is as sick a place as the real world, in fact I think it is sicker b/c peoples’ real selves pour out. Lots of toxic crazies in the world, hiding behind their masks, here they don’t have to hide. The 21st century is one barbaric age despite all of our so-called advances. Technology is being used to do things like film “revenge […]

6/18/2015 9 comments

Captain.

by pondersaurus 6/18/2015

written by pondersaurus

I pick up my day as the weight I know mine
And push through the clouds again, time within time.
I see you beside me, lain flat at my step
You offer your wings up one day to the next.
Your eyes, blue like diamonds, through darkness they shine
Promising rest in a world that’s all mine.
Day after day I walk past, and yet
That moment I pass is the one I regret.
When darkness descends, I know you’re in tow
Watching and waiting for me to let go.
When finally I tire, my energy ‘plete
There find our eyes; once finally meet.
Lost […]

6/18/2015 1 comment

–

by One Million Masks 6/18/2015

written by One Million Masks

You know, I’ve always been quiet; I don’t get heard because I’ve never said a word that I thought people might actually listen to.
You know, I’ve always been forgettable; I blend into walls and make myself small, and people don’t often even see me– they believe what they want to believe and I get lost in the mystery of who are we talking about?
You know, I’ve always been gentle; no one gets hurt because the only pain that lurks around me gets buried in laughs and pulled-down shirts, because no one besides me deserves to gain new scars.
You know, I’ve always been […]

6/18/2015 6 comments

Jealous … Sad … or Indifferent?

by Dawg 6/17/2015

written by Dawg

It’s been quite some time since I last posted here. Life was difficult (and in many ways still is) when I was a regular contributor. A quick recap: chronic pain/back injury, constant struggle to get necessary medications to manage said pain to maintain something akin to a “normal” life, got destroyed in the housing market collapse – lost two houses, and child support enforcement that seems to think I a gazillionaire when I can barely afford to eat – never mind that all “children” are adults.

There’s a plethora of other smaller issues that contribute, and some of those listed above – particularly the child support […]

6/17/2015 15 comments

Hey There World (Tower Talks)

by One Million Masks 6/17/2015

written by One Million Masks

Let me tell you something: if you notice something I’ve done, if it’s not great, if you see a flaw a misstep a mistake
I probably caught it too, and I’m using it as an excuse to escape
Into old habits and unfriendly thoughts, bad methods and frequent haunts, and let me tell you something: it’s a long way down from where I am.

Let me tell you something: if I’m hurting you’ll know, but you’ll brush it off like I do because I will have my glow as camouflage
And I won’t blame you for mistaking the inferno of an implosion for sunshine, because really

6/17/2015 2 comments

I Deserve To Die

by ItDoesntGetEasier 6/17/2015

written by ItDoesntGetEasier

This is probably the first and only time I will be truthful honest about who I am and I’m only doing this because I know none of you know me and never will. Anyways I’m a horrible person and don’t deserve the nice life I have. I’m not like most of the other people on here who have had terrible lives and just want to end the pain. I have many hardships but none nearly as bad as some, yet still here I’m am contempting suicide, so let me explain. I ‘ve done some pretty horrible things, one thing so bad that I can’t even say […]

6/17/2015 5 comments

I just want to feel.

by abct123 6/16/2015

written by abct123

I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. I feel like I drown my sorrows in medial mindless activity just to by because I just can’t bring myself to do anything different. I’m so scared of what would happen if I broke the norm that I am afraid to go against it, just blending in to wherever I happen to be. I constantly destroy every relationship because I’m so overwhelmed in trying to give them everything they want that I eventually push them away. I just feel like I don’t know how to socialize and am constantly depressed whenever I go out just wanting to […]

6/16/2015 1 comment

Whos laughing now?

by Morgan 6/16/2015

written by Morgan

So here’s the thing. I hurt all the time, hurt from my head to my toes, just hurt everywhere and all the time. As cliché as this sounds it is literally as if there is something or part of my heart missing. I am also very lonely. I really want someone who will care for me, hold me as I start to cry, someone to tell me that I am perfect, beautiful.

I can be anyone be anyone I want to be, I can be the bad girl, the good girl, the messed up girl, the girl who doesn’t have a care. I don’t know who […]

6/16/2015 1 comment

questions

by cloudedsun 6/16/2015

written by cloudedsun

I know that I am privileged. Not in the monetary sense, but definitely in the surrounding elements department. I am reasonably healthy, have people around who love me, I have a job (not exactly a career…but it has been putting food and shelter around me) I have an amazing girl who loves me, and I am still breathing. So, I know I am in no self respecting position to complain about my life. After all, I have been blessed with the ability to construct my life how I want. Okay, everyone has there set backs/limitations on what cards they are given, but I know that […]

6/16/2015 0 comment

Dust in the Wind

by Katki 6/16/2015

written by Katki

“I close my eyes only for a moment, and the moment’s gone
All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity

Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind

Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind

Now, don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, and all your money won’t another minute buy

Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, everything is […]

6/16/2015 0 comment

Shocking

by serenityseeker 6/15/2015

written by serenityseeker

I just got out of the hospital about a day ago and I find myself here at about 2:15 am sitting in the living room in a some what odd position in quite a significant amount of pain. 6 days ago, after having a rather unproductive and uneventful day, I ended up getting into an argument with my 17 and a half year old son over the fact that I hI have been sober for 3 years and about 5 months or so however back in February when I was tired of being accused of drinking when I wasn’t and being accused of being […]

6/15/2015 1 comment

Will you miss me?

by Listen 6/15/2015

written by Listen

Sometimes.. I’m just ready to see my last breath fade into the cold air.. And watch as the darkness says it’s goodbyes.. And welcome the happiness that sometimes seems to afraid to constantly stay.. Because I’d be in the happiest place for my happiness to feel safe.. Safe to stay with me. The darkness won’t be there to scare it away and won’t stop me from holding my happiness back. I’ll never have to see the darkness again.. Ever again. I’ll be in my own world.. My own world with my own happiness..

someone please wake me up

im still dreaming

6/15/2015 1 comment

I Just Want to be Me

by TheStonerWhoCould 6/15/2015

written by TheStonerWhoCould

I’m not perfect I’ll admit, there are a lot of things I need to change like my depression, suicidal thoughts and self harm to start. I’ve already committed myself to changing but nobody trust me to do it on my own. Although therapy and medicine work for some people it terrifies me, mostly the drugs.

To me its petrifying to think that one pill a day can control my mind. Its changes the chemical levels to “balance” you out which changes the way you think. It might make you happier but at what cost. All of your originality and creativity is gone. Everything you though is different. […]

6/15/2015 0 comment

Stupid feelings

by RIN 6/15/2015

written by RIN

How many times do we have to feel grief, fear, hatred, jealousy and everything else put together do we people have to go through? How many times do you sit there and feel dead inside when someone is constantly bringing you down. I have a boyfriend and he can sit there and call me beautiful and say he loves me but I don’t feel it. I feel used, I hate it knowing that he always prefers to watch beautiful blond perfect body’s fuck themselves but won’t touch me. Unless he feels so hard that he needs a vagina to get him off.

I almost jumped off […]

6/15/2015 5 comments

Just a day in the life of the SuicideProject

by RealTalk30 6/15/2015

written by RealTalk30

I hate my life so much.. I’m gonna kill myself now!

Goodbye everyone

6/15/2015 9 comments

by Nihilism000 6/14/2015

written by Nihilism000

I’m so selfish, that I even alienate people online as I do in the real world. Irony. I will admit I tried online dating, and I failed miserably. Haha what a joke I am. Can’t even get a date online. Oh the irony is killing me.

Ftw.

6/14/2015 6 comments

detachments from reality

by death bunny 6/13/2015

written by death bunny

I can barely name these bizarre emotions I get. You could call it numbness mixed with lifted awareness. Like I’m not really here, but somewhere else. It happens to me quite often, these “detachments”. When these occur, my memory tend to get worse. I can’t remember what happened when, and I get confused easily.

I feel like I’m riding this crazy train of thoughts that will eventually take me to hell. Oh I think about many different things, not all are bad, but I get lost in the montage of feelings. I know how to make this stop. Sleeping usually does the trick. But temporary stopping […]

6/13/2015 5 comments

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