Tonight, I am planning to kill myself. I have planned many times to but I have held back because of what seemed like people who cared or the sacredness of what people would think if I failed. Tonight, however, ends all of this. To if you were my friend or you call yourself a friend of mine, I am sorry, but you should have known this was coming. To my family aside from my adoptive mom, I am sorry. To my teachers and other adults, why could not have done something. I know you guys have seen my cuts and scars. Some of you have […]
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kill
‘Suicidal people are made, not born’ was a post I saw once. But is that really true? When I was born, the doctor had to cut my mother open and forcibly bring me into this world because I had a failure to thrive. Even in that infantile state I knew I did not want to be in this world.
Several months ago I tried to kill myself. I took over 50 prescription sleeping pills and washed them down with alcohol. Do you have any idea how depressing it is to try to kill yourself and fail? This was not a cry for help or attention. My […]
My arms and wrists itch and burn. I relapsed bad last night. Can you even call it a relapse if you never tried to stop in the first place? I took pills, too. I can’t stop taking them – both in large quantities and small. I think I’m getting addicted. I’m ill. Everything hurts. And I’m stuck I college. Class starts in 7 minutes, and I feel awful. Despite the pills, and how many I took, I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I just needed the pills. I needed to get rid of the pain, and I couldn’t cut at that exact time. Surprisingly, my […]
I want to die so badly but I’m a *****. Even my mother said I should kill myself. I feel so overwhelmed. I dotn dsevre to live I hate myself fuck this I wish I was dead or horribly beaten. I don’t fucking deserve this. Please someone tell me how to kill myself.
“So what if you get depressed? everyone gets depressed you know. Don’t be so over dramatic”. Well, F*ck you. Don’t take depression too lightly my dear. It is one of a fucking hell. You think this is easy? NO IT’S NOT *****. You think getting depressed is normal? you think it’s just like “oh I’m sad.” then later “Oh I’m happy” ? NO IT’S NOT. You don’t know anything. You think I’m stupid for being dramatic? You think this is dumb? Wow. Just wow. I want to kill you by just saying that. Depression is savage af. Depression is hell and you can’t escape from […]
When I was younger my life was crap and yet despite all that was happening to me, rape, beatings, abandonment, homelessness, foster care I still had this idea that my future would be better. I still somehow believed that if I could just hold on long enough, try my hardest then one day things would fall into place. Twenty six years later and I have run out of that hope. I cry myself to sleep all the time, I cant find a job, I have no freedom at home, no money, I only ever get used in romantic “relationships”. Ive never had a boyfriend. I […]
I’m going to kill myself. The world would be better without me. Who would miss me? I could count the people on one hand? Suicide is not selfish. It is in fact selfish of the people around me to not let me let kill myself. I should have done this years ago. I live alone. It would take days for anyone to notice. No one would check. He wouldn’t give two shits. He’s moved on. You were unimportant to him. You really are unimportant to several people. The only people who might care are mom and dad. Everyone else will move on. That’s what people […]
Sometimes, I am torn between wanting to kill myself or wanting to kill myself in addition to everything else that breathes.
Do you everthink what if i survive??
it doesn’t feel like they do, anyway.
i want to make everyone hate me so i can kill myself in peace.
The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill himself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I tried to love myself. I tried to have confidence myself. But I couldn’t. And I can’t. I decided to kill myself as soon as possible. This is not temporary feeling. I been thinking about suicide since when I was 11. I couldn’t commit suicide because I lived with my family. Now I live by myself. So I can decide anything by myself. I’m scared of suicide. But I’m tied of pretending that everything is fine. And no one cares about me even if I cry. They don’t want to get in trouble. So they ignore. I’ve cared about friends, family … When they had […]
I hate being an old ugly loser on my mom’s couch. Im such a ***** i can’t jump to my death even though its 10 minutes away. I hate being alive and stupid and lazy and suicidal for 3 decades. There is nothing to keep going for. I hate being consistently rejected and pointless. I cant keep trying. There is a reason i eat all the damn time. Its the only joy i can get from life. I don’t even have access to weed anymore. Im a fucking moron.
Edit: I keep thinking about how hopeless and pointless i am. I keep thinking how unnecessary i […]
I don’t know if I’m allowed to ask this on here, as I’ve only been on this website a few days.
Will a cylinder size 9.3m3 of ******** be enough for to kill someone?
Do you ever think that maybe this life is hell? That maybe we lived a life before and we are all in hell? That our only way out is to seek redemption or go farther into the pit. I sometimes wonder if the people who commit suicide get the redemption. That we have realized that we aren’t suppose to be in this world. That we were a mistake and our only way out, our only way to get to our redemption and happiness is to kill ourselves. Because that is how I view our world. That this is hell. We were in the normal world […]
Protected: I could kill myself at any time and I should do it now
written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
This morning I woke up crying and in physical pain from grief. There’s too much in my mind to write about it all, can’t even form a coherent organization to it all.
But the sick thing is, I woke up wondering if I should take the pills now or go to a thrift store that has 50% sale on saturday. So, basically, I want to buy clothing and then attempt to hurt or kill myself (unlikely, sadly, although maybe if I added vicodin to the mix- klonopin and vicodin are contraindicated) .
I spoke to my ex yesterday. It was good in ways, to know that she misses […]
instead of doing a new years resolution this year, i decided on somewhat of an ultimatum. i decided that if this year proves to be the same shit its been like in the past years, i’m not going to live anymore. i’ve wanted to kill myself for going on 3 years, and i’m finally giving myself a reason to do it. if this year turns out to show me that life is worth living, i wont kill myself. i doubt this year will show that, and i’ve started creating a rough outline of how i’ll do it. i shouldn’t be in this world, i […]