I was a liar. Am a liar. It’s the sort of thing that you can’t really speak about in the past tense. It started when I was really young, in elementary school when my parents got divorced. I would lie to both parents to get what I wanted. And I would get what I wanted. They weren’t big things like an mp3 player or a new toy or something, just small things that weren’t very important, non tangible things like a play date or some sympathy; a hug. Then they got bigger and bigger. I would plan things out, these huge deceptions and falsities, as […]
Liar
I am not one for showing my true feelings to the general public. I consider myself to have gone completely numb on the inside but nobody could ever tell thanks to my happy personality which I fake just so I do not have to answer questions regarding my true life. I thought once I got out of high school my life would be a bit different, it is in some ways but not everything is peachy. I have been physically and mentally abused by my mom since I was born and I am 21 now and it still continues. According to her I am worthless, […]
Friends..?
Family..?
can we really be sure that we are not alone?
can we be resured…i dont think so…
friends.. don’t want to listen to the depressing fact that i am alone with no hope of living
they try to cheer me up as if it is that easy
i.am.tired
i hate my family everyone holds on to their every word..SHE said,” oh i would never hit my children” over the phone
………..LIAR…….
how dare you i am repulsed by the fact that you dare to say such words with me meters away…its sickening
……………..so i tell you now……….i am TIRED….DO THEY THINK I LIKE FEELING THIS WAY…..they didnt even look me in the eye […]
Is it really selfish to kill oneself because you’ve had a lifetime of misery? Why is it ok to force someone to withstand many numerous years of unending misery to save a few people a few days or weeks of pain? I am a suicide survivor myself. I was 15 when my mother took her own life, and yes, I have remained angry with her for the last 13 years, but that was different. She had a 15 year old child and a 6 year old child she was responsible for. I have no children whatsoever, and don’t intend to have any. I recently tried […]
ME.
underneath im: stupid, a loser, a loner, a cutter, unusual, different, shunned, hated, betrayed, embarrased, failure, sad, unloved, defeated, lonely, DEPRESSED. so strange i can make this seem untrue. i fake my way through life- “fake it til u make it” would that make me a liar? an attention seeker? i dont think so but i dont care what i think.. ha i dont even know who i am cuz i care what u think, i change all the time. just to make you happy. but that will neva happen cuz u will never be ok with me. dont feel bad its not just […]
Hi.. you know my other posts, yeah, them…. well they are  not true, i lie. I do this because i have a sick twisted demented little mind for a bi-sexaul 11 year old boy. Yes, you did read it right, I am 100% Bi-sexual, don’t like it?? Yeah well neither do I. I hate my sexuality. You know deathbug, well it’s funny really because we are so alike, we made sick twisted lying stories that made you fall bad for us, so i would again like to say sorry to all of the people on this site, especially U.N Owen and Holly. I don’t know […]
I doubt anyone would take a look at this. But I have no one else to turn to. I have screwed up my life so tremendously, I feel that I have no other choice but to kill myself. My boyfriend, the one whom I love more than life itself, saw that I was texting my ex. I was just texting him to see how he was doing, but my bf had told me explicitly that he didn’t want me talking to him. Now he is calling me a liar and that I’m going to regret ever lying to him. I don’t know what he’s going […]
So, I really am not sure what to start with except obviously I feel like something is very wrong or I wouldn’t be on here and I don’t want to here “you’ll be fine.” Thoughts of killing myself have been increasing over the last year or so after a bad breakup with long term girlfriend which involved an abortion that wasn’t mutually desired and ended in months of resentment and mistreatment of each other. I still love her.
I’ve broken up with girls, it hurts, but these feelings are lasting far too long. It confuses me because there should be no reason for me to […]
its strange. im depressed i know that, my family knows that. at school nobody knows cuz i come across as happy, positive, never sad, and no way depressed. yet i carry around suicide notes and one of my friends saw and didnt believe it..shows im either a good actress or i should just shout it to the people around me..cuz now it looks like im a liar…oh god i made a problem if i tell some of my friends will force me to get help (been there already) if i dont i look like a liar.. my life would make a great show just cuz […]
I was abused pretty early on by my father. Mentally and physically. He tried to kill me with a gun. It misfired twice. I used to think I was fortunate that happened, now I wish when he shot, he killed me. I would have saved me a lot of suffering.
Went to school teased there as well. Stood up to them didn’t matter. Beat them up. Didn’t matter. Told school officials didn’t matter.
Then my mother abused me mentally. She checked out on life for a number of years by taking percocet and valium. Which left me at 8 to pay the bills. The money was there […]
Just not sure of everything again. I cannot believe this feeling would revisit me this soon. I feel like it was just weeks ago that I started feeling great inside. Today, it’s just the opposite.
Everyday, I’m feeling irritated of almost everything and everyone around. My family’s full of judgemental beings. My parents are way too preoccupied with caring for their favorite daughter’s son. My brothers are way too busy playing their games. Older sisters are too busy with their lives. Younger sister currently living under the same roof is full of judgement. At one point in this lifetime, I feel close to her, like […]
I don’t know what to do, when my ex and I were still together, she told me that i was a liar… How could I be if I had never spoken untrue words. When I thought telling her a certain something, no matter the consequences. I still told her faithfully. I was over at a friends house, whom my ex didn’t trust around me only because she thought that I would cheat on her, I still told her where I was. And once she told me that she was furious with me. I walked to her house, in my worst allergy, the Sun. Through out […]
I just feel I’m not worthy of living.
People who live should want to live. They should be happy and should want to accomplish things.
Ive posted about my lists before, that was not really a success. (understatement)
Since Im very chaotic, sigh, I lost my original lists. Which lead to a panic attack caus I cant stand losing things. So I made new ones. And it bothers me really much that I dont know what exactly was on the original lists.. but anyway I’ll just add the things I forgot now later.
I thought I could maybe share the lists this time.
Reasons to die:
I am selfish;
I am ugly. […]
so today was a long and bad day. started off a good day though. but i was arrested and charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of weapon in school, possession of another students property (theft), and possession of lighters. this all happend in school. it sucked. i was in the deans office for like 4 hours. im gonna need to go to court, and i was suspended from school for ten days. might even get expelled. but i dont think i will. then i might need to go to rehab. so my life sucks even more now. i got a mugshot and finger printed too. […]
i am married 33yrs old and i have lovely children, i have a deep depression and i was also attacked in may, my husband blames me, i cant trust him as it was his brother who attacked me, for the first time ever i actually ended up in the mental unit 4 time in the last few months, life is unbearable, my husband is a liar protecting his brother, i took over doses and survived and i tried hangin my self but was brought round  unconsious by my husband, i cry every day i have lost all trust and hope , what can i do? […]
i’m staring at this blank page waiting to type something but ii have no idea what but i have so much to tell about..so i guess i’ll just start telling.
I’m a girl 15 and last year i tried to commit suicide by cutting my wrists,I survived . I have scars on my wrists and thigh,i used to had more but they fade away, I did a lot of self-harm cuz that was the only way i could feel some relief.My mother heard me cry almost every night,she saw my scratches  on my arm but didn’t do anything about it.I’ve tried many times to tell them […]
im sorry but i really dnt have neone to talk to nemore. since 2001 ive had serious thoughts of suicide. My life really sucks… when i was three my grandfather decided to molest me and then when my elder brother hit puberty he decided to rape and molest me for almost 5 years. i accidentally told the cops and he was arrestted but no one in my family believed me except my mother. everyone else just called me a liar because they didn’t like me as much as they liked him. When i grew into my teenage years my cousins decided to try ‘sstuff’ on […]
We always believe it we have it so bad. If we didn’t, none of us would be here writing our stories that are filled with anger and pain. I suppose I am bitter. Bitter with everyone I trusted that I know can not stand but have no escape from.
I would like to believe I am a good person who is a useful community member. As it stands I find this very hard to believe. And like everyone else …. I don’t know why. I can not understand my thought process let alone why everything is upside down and twisted around in my life.
At 11 years […]