I’ve  been living a hermit lifestyle for a while now(a few years), after being bullied in the 6th grade it was my way of protecting myself because I thought “nobody likes me”  so why not save myself the trouble and from then on I was the only person I could go to but after a while that started to hurt myself emotionally and I really began to hate myself and I couldn’t trust anyone and felt like I was less than everyone that nobody could understand me, sometimes I wished that I could make duplicate of me just to talk to. I don’t trust anyone […]
Tag:
Lifestyle
I’ve been arguing with myself over the topic of suicide for a while now. I randomly came across this site from a Google search about suicide and felt inclined to sign up and post something. I’ll be surprised if anyone even reads this. Or comments. Or offers help.
I’m deeply, horribly depressed, and I don’t get why. I’ve never been abused. I’ve never lost a loved one. I don’t come from a broken family. I grew up in a comfortable lifestyle. I have no reason to be depressed. Alas, I am. I’m empty inside.
Although I grew up in a comfortable home, I never had […]
For the past few days I thought my life was going to get better. All these wonderful things people tell me here are kind of smothered by the fact my home life has only gotten worse.
My family found these posts and are going to be sending me to a mental facility that is known for its patient abuse and I have no say -as I’ve been deemed unfit to live alone or make my own life choices thanks to my father. It’s all spiraling out of control and there’s no way to save myself. It’s all over and I’m too tired and beaten up to […]
Im excited.
No, really I am.
I’m going to Miami in a couple of days. It’s for my dad’s work and my cousins wedding. I’m going to see me family. im going to get out of this cold weather. Im going to see my cousin have the best day of her life.
Buuut, I’m also going to have to wear a swimsuit.
And, see my grandmas face fall when I walk in.
She doesnt like me that much. I’ve heard her say so. She doesnt approve of my “lifestyle”. She says Im a slutty, skater, who has no self control. I’m also a mess, bad example, and a future druggie.
Thanks […]
My whole life I’ve always thought of  myself to be this “good girl”. Like success was the only option and I was so confident that I’d get the whole “storybook” lifestyle. And I’m not someone who believes things are handed to you so I knew there would be some hardships but I just don’t think anyone should go through such constant disappointments. I think I’ve reached my limit, I’ve completely lost myself. Nothing I do makes any sense to me But I just can’t stop it. I just want to be happy, but I never can. I’ve always been a good student but I’m flunking […]
Kinda new to this, figured i need to share my story with someone, anybody.
by ad123
written by ad123
Ive Dealt with depression ever since middle school, and yes i believe it has gotten progressively worse throughout the years. I was never really the popular person or noticed even when i was at school or at home, and many family issues, i just felt like i was always just around to fill in a needless gap. Ive gotten good at acting like i was fine whether it be to what friends i do have as well as my family, but lately ive just been breaking down and i feel like all im doing is heading toward a downward spiral. My suicidal demon has always […]
Fuck!!! I’m still here. This past week has me feeling I really have no strength to stay alive. I have reasons too I know that. I just need a way to make them more important for me to stay here. I don’t know how I’m supposed to carry on. My fakingit lifestyle isn’t working but being real wont work either it will turn people away (so I’ve had experience). Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Someone set the pain free. Really. Please set me free.
I am the world to my parents. Everything they do, they claim to do it for me. Maybe it’s an Asian thing. Maybe it’s just a devoted parents thing. I don’t know. I’ve been wanting them to come to terms with the fact that I want to kill myself since I first decided to tell them in April. I hoped that with enough communication, they would understand the amount of suffering I’ve been enduring. Of course, no, they think I need a change of scenery, a change in lifestyle, pretty much a change in everything. Think that that would solve my problems. No. They even […]
Im trying to write my final note – But i don’t wanna sound to boring and ” woah is me ” – so without further ado is an excerpt from my suicide letter –
I lost interest in everything , even music , Music was my everything , my comfort , my hobbies , my lifestyle , Even being a piano player for eight years you would think i would have come to love and cherish every moment i could play on my beloved piano- But i was ( excuse me – am) so broken , even my beloved music couldn’t […]
I went to the doctors. They said I most likely have a stomach ulcer from too much smoking and alcohol and pills.
That’s never good. If It bursts well.. I’ll have to get an operation and I could die.
[…]
is what I’m trying to escape
http://everything2.com/title/Working+9+to+5%253A+The+modern+slavery
call me a lazy fuck, but I’d rather be dead than whore myself out to survive in a world I don’t even like
I’m sick of being told it’s normal or honorable to be stolen too much of your time
sick of being molded into living as a robot .. sick of this lifestyle where the cons outweigh the pros
I do not tend to be awful and immature.
Just a lot of changes becoming forth
A challenge, I may presume
I had let past and emotion get the best of me
This time, I have thought it over, now until forward into the future
I shall just focus to control my lifestyle
Apologies to your family, friends and mostly towards you
This time, I shall not let you down.
I shall try to fix what is left
but if on your behalf; if you chose, I shall stay away.
My apologies.
A friend.
P.S. If you want, I shall return some stuff back
I enjoy life, but life hurts and abuses me. I smile and laugh at the little things, while being degraded and yelled at. I smile every day because I forgive and forget, everyday I am mentally abused and given a new reason to cry. However, I can’t cry with my eyes so my heart hurts for me in exchange for my smile. I laugh and things seem to fade away and release me from my worries, but he knows exactly what to say to crush me.  Everyday I trade my pain for a genuine smile, I let myself forget, I let myself go on without letting it […]
hi everyone.. im michael and i sometimes think about ending it.. alot.. i feel alone in this country.. and im scared to be myself.. i dont have any motivation to live for.. and i dont have a gf.. and im scared of girls and everyone.. and everyone looks at me funny and i worry what others think.. i overthink things and get depressed.. so i want to end it.. but im scared to do that i want to get away from my mom and i have no goals in life.. i cant post stuff on facebook. because they banned me.. so i want to end […]
Over the last 3 or 4 years, I have been sinking further into despair. I am now at a point where I am ready to exit. The times I have been most at peace over the last few years have generally been when I have been sleeping; I figure that a sleep where I never wake up would be a good thing. I know this might sound like a First World Problem, but my descent began when I got made redundant during the GFC. Since then, I have had to take jobs that have paid less, and also had to use up all of my savings during […]
I typed out a million different ways to start off the breaking in of my first post here, the only thing I could think of was “hey so I tried to kill myself this one time” that’s what it came down to.
Kind of sad to think I made all the effort to sign up to this and yet that’s all I can think to say. So let me tell you my story.
It may not be as eccentric or shocking a most people’s here but I’m not looking for a condition. I’m just going to give the honest truth.
I work hard for everything I’m not […]
This is not a judgement on anyone’s life or lifestyle.Â
I have noticed how the pro-life people always say that suicide is a selfsh act because it will hurt people who are left behind. Or maybe it will leave certain responsibilities unfinished or undone.  This is true to an extent. What they are saying is that others lives and comfort matter more than yours on all levels and you should bear suffering and responsibility for the sake of others in your life. Except for a little personal pleasure that you should seek out meaning by serving others. It is a vlaid viewpoint.
There are people all over […]
I have no happiness anymore. I have no motivation. No attention to school. No reason to live. This is my lowest point, and I can’t feel better. I just absolutely lost the will. My mind is filled with thoughts on life and a constant need to figure out the meaning of life. I guess I need to be high in order to be normal and to function. My cousin Jasmine and I haven’t seen each other in a long while. I am still in love, but love isn’t the meaning of life so there goes my will, especially since she’s my cousin so I can’t […]
Everyone Thinks That I have It All,
But Its So Empty Living Behind These Castle Walls,
If I Should Tumble,
If I Should Fall,
Would Anyone Hearing Me Screaming Behind These Castle Walls,
There’s No One Here At All,
Behind These Castle Walls.
I live a very different life. This is my first time trying something like this, I’m not doing this with the intention that it’ll bring me pity or sympathy from others, Im doing this hoping that it’ll bring me some FORM of peace.
Im not like alot of people out there. I live a very different life. Luxuries people would never even dream of. […]