Tag:
Love
I don’t know who I am anymore. It’s like my oldself escaped somehow. Is that even possible? Or am I still me but its hidden really deep inside. I don’t feel like myself when I’m alone. I don’t even know who I am. Everyone knows that happy girl because that’s the act I put up for people. Or is it..? I wonder and question about my life. A lot. I have family and friends who love me. I still don’t know why I feel so empty, this isn’t the first time. Actually I been feeling like this for a while. Putting up a past on […]
Whenever we’re little, why is it that we wish we were older? Much older? Why didn’t anyone warn us of this? The adult life is so sugar-coated and isn’t as glamorous as it’s made to be.We wasted out childhoods on wishing we were done with it, when in all actuality, we would give up anything just to go back.
I first tried to kill myself when I was fourteen, after 3 years of cutting. My parents split up, I lost my 8 day old nephew, my sisters moved out, I lost my friends, and I had nothing holding me back from suicide. I was put on […]
I am 300 feet above the ground.
The exhilarating and yet familiar feeling that you are above everything else that man created.
The clouds chug slowly, dragged by the wind that is working its way
to that beautiful place where no clouds have to move anymore.
A step closer to the edge and I’ll be off balance,
tumbling over this ambitious edifice that attempted to scrape the sky.
Hah! Only if they knew. No one and nothing can’t.
The sky is where height ends…of dreams, of tears, of love.
A step closer and it’ll all be gone, plus several seconds of freedom to a place that never existed.
A void paradise where everything else […]
I am a 20 year old female attending university within my home town. I honestly feel lost within my own life. I am a waste of space. I do not know how to cook, terrible at cleaning, and struggle to manage a workload in school that others would find easy. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder. I was never social as a child; I can’t go up to someone and start a conversation. I had a happy childhood, up to a point. Our home has come under disrepair within the past decade or so. I love my parents, at least I […]
Been a while since I vented to my fellow suicidies. Thankfully, I haven’t been feeling so suicidal lately– but I still feel mentally unstable. I guess most of the reason for my mental stability has been my comfort in solitude and repetition. As much as the repetitive drag of everyday seems to weigh me down, I’ve felt quite anchored in it.
A few days ago I received the ominous “hey” text from an ex boyfriend. My repetitive reality has been temporarily shattered. It’s been almost a year since I last spoke to this ex boyfriend. I’ve been through a couple stages: When is he going to […]
Do you have a father? I know everyone has, but does your dad love you? Does he remember your birthday? Does he remember, how old you are? Does he want you a good life? Or does he even want you to live?
Mine doesn’t.
Mine was ready to kill me.
Mine values beer over me.
My mum left my dad when I was 2 years, because dad threatened her and my lives. He said he’d kill mum. And when mum left, dad wouldn’t want her to have me, so he wanted to slice me in two pieces, one for him and one for mum. Or just kill me so […]
I think I’m meant just to survive for so much time, and I’m running of time already. People dislike me out of nowhere, I don’t do anything bad at anyone at all, but they just look down on me. I already tried to die from rat poison… no effects! So I gave up before trying again. Now I’m thinking of Helium Exit Bag, I’m just not sure if it will work, I don’t want to deal with another failure.
I don’t have any friends at all, I don’t have no one to talk to. People think I’m just okay, they don’t know how I feel deep […]
Im numb now… no not numb exactly…I have forgiven him all the shit that went down… an addiction is a nasty thing and he is seeking help. has a specialist who deals with the sexual addiction may be going to a inpatient facility for a while… I forgave him (mostly some days it is hard though to remember that) .. now it is just the life with him.. my life ..
Im not sure I want it any more.. not just the life with him but any life.. well obviously im on here it has been like that for a while.
but Im not […]
I can’t stand anything anymore. I’m so bitter about everything. i hate my job, my friends are awful, I am stuck in a town that I have lived in my whole life, i didn’t bother applying for any colleges because my grades always sucked and now I’m stuck going to a stupid community college and I don’t want to go to college right now. I am not mentally stable enough to pass any courses and I have to pay out of pocket because I don’t qualify for any financial aid. But I have to go or else I have to pay my parents rent because […]
(I) IS THE EGO MAKER the false self (i am just is) to write what 1 thinks dont matter anymore bcuz 1 knows it is in the being the silence of nothing that i find myself as free immortal love primordial energy although i have chosen to loose myself and be a trolling bstad to survive i get angry and frustrated from that bliss i used to be my heart broke this is what causes me to want to suicide and i am very capable as i have done it b4 and was saved i live for other 1s there attachment and love to me […]
Back in June i told myself i’m done self harming. Today after almost 3 months i relapsed. Its getting harder and harder to stop cutting, but the saddest part is that nobody understands. They don’t realize how much pain someones in when that blade slides across their own skin. I hate cutting yet i love it and i’m not sure i’m going to be able to stop again…..
So i am in love. Â I must admit i never thought it will hit me so suddenly but i guess that it’s true when they say: ‘when you least expect it’
The sweetest person i have ever met. I am going to sound as a hopeless romantic but his kisses make me dizzy which is entirely true i can barely walk after he touches me. Â So when everything should fit in its place my awkward paranoia jumps out of nowhere. I have never been really close to somebody like this and i am constatly thinking about bad things. I have this idea that something bad […]
Hey, how are you?
I know I have probably stuffed everything up between us but I didn’t know who else to talk to. No one understands me. I feel like letting you go was probably a bad idea but I know it was for the best. I’m gunna be honest here I just don’t think you were as into it as I was, and thats okay. But I really hope we can be friends.
I have no one to talk to. And today has been really bad. I stayed home from school and I was just thinking and thinking about Sam about you about everything […]
My life is hell. Â No, I’m not your average guy, and no I’m not looking for attention. Â I’m considering suicide. Â I love my kids, so I have found a way to get through today. Â My wife is driving me insane. Â We fight.. Â dirty.. Â I say things I know hurt her she says things to hurt me, wow how human.. Â however, Â I recant my mean and thoughtless words, and back up my recant with actions. Â I show her what I said is not true. Â On good days I chase her like a school boy and his first crush.. Â I love her madly.. Â she never recants. […]
Since i realized i’m a girl, i couldn’t open my heart to anybody, even my parents.I could never feel love  or trust, in all my life i felt lonely…Â
But lately, there was a guy who confessed to me.. I know he’s a bad guy, and 80% he’s trying to make a joke out of me.. well that’s what i think, i don’t know if i should give it a try?Â
I mean, should i consider it as an opportunity to take my life out of the black? or what?
Help me please, i need an answer as quick as possible.
It’s been a tough few months for me lately.
Some days i hide it well, others, not so much.
Some days I am sat on my own in my bedroom and I feel so low I have no idea where to go or what to do.
I consider whether my next breath is worth taking dozens of times a day.
Some nights i go to sleep and admit to myself that not waking up; well it wouldn’t be so bad.
Sometimes i will try to talk family or friends but they are always seeming so happy that I don’t want to spoil their day so I […]
It’s strange…
When you have never met, or even spoken to a person…yet you feel like on some level you already know them.
It may be you feel that way because of things that someone tells you about them,
or it may be because in a way you know what they are going through.
You know them through someone else’s correspondence with them,
because you try to reassure the person that loves this stranger you feel you know.
You feel helpless…because you wish you could tell that person how much they are loved by someone, yet you can’t.
You feel useless because with all the […]
Every day I wake up and go through the same shit, nothing necessarily bad, nut nothing good, ever.
Every time I think something good is gonna happen and make stuff better, it doesn’t, and I just end up feeling worse.
I have a lot of friends, and I’m pretty popular, but every fucking day shit gets worse.
I used to be laidback and funny and outgoing and just a nice fucking person but everyday my patience runs shorter and I’m starting to become so paranoid and I get losses off so fucking easily anymore.
This has been ongoing for the past 6 months and it really hasn’t snapped into […]
I wish i could Marry Marilyn Monroe