i did it. i pushed the last person that cared enough away. he promised me with his life that he wouldn’t give up on me. im sitting in our apartment with all of our things. everything reminds me of him. i feel stupid. i won’t go to bed until he comes back. im hoping to hear the buzzer, but its been hours and he hasnt come back. i wonder where he is at. i hate myself so much. i wish he would understand that im bipolar and that i didnt mean all that i said. we’ve been together for 4 years now. married 1. he […]
Tag:
Love
I almost made it 28 yrs ago when I felt the world had given up on me or maybe I had given up on the world i don’t know any more I was 24 just had my 3rd son and in my 2nd marriage my first one was abusive , I finally got out. now my husband had left me with a newborn . my family no help said i was crazy like my Grandma I cryed so much that no tears came any more just the empy feeling nobody loved me nobody cared the world would be better off with me gone,I took the […]
I love the rain…
because it soothes my skin
it cleans my slate
it cleans within
my love and hate
because it cleanses my youth
and brings me life
it tells the truth
and renews my strive
but… most of all
it hides my fears
and helps me stand tall
and hides my tears
I doubt anyone would take a look at this. But I have no one else to turn to. I have screwed up my life so tremendously, I feel that I have no other choice but to kill myself. My boyfriend, the one whom I love more than life itself, saw that I was texting my ex. I was just texting him to see how he was doing, but my bf had told me explicitly that he didn’t want me talking to him. Now he is calling me a liar and that I’m going to regret ever lying to him. I don’t know what he’s going […]
My dearest Love.
I am a travler of both time and space, as well as a seeker of truth…
How can I make you happy when I can’t do it for myself and we are so selfish we will do it for ourselves but not each other, so if we are unable to do it for each other how can we hope to come out of our reverie and care more abot the other than ourself? I love you this way. I would not choose breath over death if living is to be done alone. How can you be so foolish? How can I… Â I am so […]
 I wish I could turn a clock and go back to the day before I was born. I wish I could make my mom and dad to change their minds and not have another child.
Now I am hanging here, trying to keep up whit life. I always end up crashing down. It´s funny that I know that I can never commit suicide but I´m thinking about death awfully lot.
I just wish that I could be someone else- someone who could just smile and be happy, someone who didn’t care that there is no sense on this world, someone who would just enjoy the fact of […]
i never thought my life would turn up to be so bad..my father was going through cancer had been with him throughout his treatment..but finally he passed away in january being the eldest in the family everything has come up to me.. I am 23 years old, and my fathers partner in business has been playing dirty tricks with me since my dad is not around. Theres noone to advice me now it has literally come to an extent where i get scared coming to office = i feel so waste feels like i hve nothing left in my life to do i just come […]
My life, the world i live in… Â It confuses me so much now.. Â i try and write things down but have trouble explaiing how I feel because there is just so much to say… Â A long time ago i started to feel like i didnt know what i was doing, i didnt know where i was going or what the point was anymore… Â I fell in love with the tv show Doctor Who… Â that kept me going… i obsessed over it… Â I loved it, i created my own world where everything from Doctor Who was real. from that i kept obsessing over things. It […]
Everyday of my life is to please everyone else. But for every fake smile i put on my face to fool the stupid people i see, the more i die inside. I cant take it anymore. Being the “nice guy” never helped me with anything. I always have girls tell me “You’re way to nice”, and i ask “Is there something wrong with that?”, and they always say “Nah, i just wish i had a guy like you”. Well why dont they ever want me? They always say they want a nice guy, but then they go after the big douche bag that treats her […]
Phone rings
Don’t wanna pick it up
I’m so scared
I’m gonna say too much
I tip toe around your questions
Why you gotta dig so deep?
Tears fall
And the glasses break
Inside these walls
The floor boards shake
From outside
It’s alright
Long as you looking from fifty feet
I been trying trying
Hold my head up high
I been lying lying
Keeping it all inside
Trying not to trust you, yeah
Take another leaf, I’m broke yeah yeah?
I’m done, I give up
I don’t wanna pretend no more
That’s it, so what
I’ve lost a friend before
Gonna say it like it is
No […]
I envy most of you beucase you have god as a net for when you fall. I dont believe in god so my fall has no bottom I have been inside the lowest nihilism and lost the motivation to self harm I have felt like just laying still in my bed forever. I believe that hen i die I am gone forever Religion has actually been a large cause of my problems becuase It showed me that humanity is gulible and that they will murder over somthing thats core message is love and peace.
Empty streets, forsaken buildings,
Numbing sleet, deficient shielding,
Foundations crumble,
Hollow grounds rumble,
Lonely and lost,
Pale, cold and humble,
A dull pain in his mind,
While his absent hands fumble.
Sitting alone in the midst of a broken city,
He deserves some care, some love and pity,
A fallacy – his sorry image might delude,
When observing this twisted being in solitude.
The failing architecture that surrounds him,
Tall and formerly grand,
Built with the ingenuity,
Of warmer hands.
Drops of sorrow fall on shattered road,
Unrestrained anguish, where rain once flowed.
The cooling liquid,
That runs from […]
Feet don’t fail me now
Take me to the finish line
All my heart, it breaks every step that I take
But I’m hoping that the gates,
They’ll tell me that you’re mine
Walking through the city streets
Is it by mistake or design?
I feel so alone on a Friday night
Can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you’re mine
It’s like I told you honey
Don’t make me sad, don’t make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don’t know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let’s go get high
The road is long, we […]
so another great day at skool… i shut myself down during my first class and couldn’t function mentally.i found out that next week sometime i will have to disect a frog… the only problem is that im afraid of the fact i will be holding a sharp object and i will have to fight my impulses. so after that somebody handed me a stapler… you have no idea how much i wanted to staple my fingers… just to feel the pain, to know i was still alive still human. thats one reason y i cut myself… to know im still alive and human. so my […]
I listened. I broke it off with my cousin. I couldn’t sleep at night, had many panic attacks. This is very problematic. I think I made a mistake. She probably hates me now, well at least I will get a psychiatrist sometime soon. I just texted her and she hasn’t answered, anxiety is coming back at school. Never had a public panic attack. I’m worried.Â
I think i fucked up bad, breaking up with jasmine. She’s my cousin but these intense feelings are real, as real as pain, and until they go away, then I still feel love for her. Mot just plain lust. Yeah, she […]
It’s really disgusting to hear some successful story of how someone being happy by adopting the manipulation of others.
One instance that, the famous actor Woody Allen broke the trust between being a father and his adopted daughter by engaging in sex, saying that it’s all because of love.
It’s like, while a girl is sad and in need of comfort, by pathetically crying into the arms of a gay flatmate, naked with just a thin bed-lining covered, and afterward boldly announced to others that somehow it was the gay that initiated and
seduced to have sex.
So, wasn’t there a trust already announced solidly at the […]
Never thought I would be on a site like this. But you people would understand the most, or maybe not. You wouldn’t actually know what I go through, or much less what anyone else goes through. You have no idea of what goes on in people’s real thoughts, their real emotions, struggles, and actions. All you can really do is just read along and try to find a connection, a answer to whats ailing you, a hope that the person that wrote this would find a answer themselves, a answer that would cure the damages inflicted on you. But I’ll tell you this, they’re no […]
Hello. I’m 21 gay, super sensitive, highly anxiety sufferer, depressed.
I was abused sexually/physically when i was a kid.
all that good stuff.
well in 2010 i went to college roomed with a friend from highschool, i wasn’t really confused about my sexuality. idk how to explain it. well i fell in love with him. he outed me after i explained it the best i could. in which was i’m gay i’ve fallin in love with you, i need to move out and choose my on way. Â he taunted me, grabbed his junk at me all the time. it made me feel so worthless. when i moved out. […]
I want your opinion, guys. It’s about relationships… Should there be an age limit on love? I’m asking this because i’m 15, and i met this guy called Josh. He’s amazing and funny and so polite and kind…. And i think i’m falling for him, a little. Trouble is, he’s 20… O.o so i just want to know what you think. I know nothing will probably happen between us though… :/ <3.
damb,why do people decide to give you reasons to trust them until you trust them enough just to the point you are actually thinking(you know what, i might feel like i trust this person, mabey they aint fake after all)then they go and pull the same shit everyone els does, and people wonder why i am the way i am,its always the people you least expect,so why trust anyone in this world,my heart just got as cold as it can get,i had a little love left in my heart after 21 years,but now i literally feel nothing,   last night i was praying to god(if my […]