It simply gets more familiar.
Think of it this way: life is a set of challenges, challenge after challenge. The point of life is to show the world how much of a badass you are by overcoming these challenges. Yeah, it’s hard, yeah, it sucks, and yeah, it would be a lot easier to give up. But don’t you think it would be better to leave a legacy on the world, as that one awesome person who overcame so many things, and still ended up ok?
Know how I came across this site? I googled, “How to disapear.” And I was brought here…
I was having a bad day, I suffer from depression and today just wasn’t good. I saw my friends and was just in a terrible mood and felt like everything was falling apart. My friends are always busy, I get mad at them for no reason, and sometimes I just feel like Im falling back into this deep, dark place that I used to be about 2 years ago. But then I made my favorite tea, put on my favorite movie and came across this site. And it really […]
I’ve had depression since I was around 10 years old. My father used to bash me for every little thing, whilst my mother would just sit, watch and laugh. It’s been some years now, my parents did however get better, BUT that’s only after I finally grew the courage to tell the police, anyways just two days ago, I celebrated my 19th birthday, I thought about killing myself at the end of the night, but couldn’t mostly because 3 of my friends were with me till morning. Anyways, I try to move on, every day, but the memories always haunt me, and it’s not only […]
The word servant means many things to me, and it also relates to how i am seen in my family. I am 14 years old, and the youngest of my family. I have two brothers who are aged 20 and 21, and mum and dad who are in their 50’s. I hate how i am treated, but i also hate myself because of that and the fact that i have no friends. People in the family treat me like they only had a 3rd child so i could be their pawn. My mum gets me to do craploads of tasks, never communicates on exactly what […]
I have no outlets to let my stress out or whatever negative thoughts I’m feeling about myself that day, what happens to me is I find distractions through: surfing the internet,watching TV,etc. and at some point everything feels like a distraction because you go to sleep with all those negative thoughts and you just bury them and the pain is still there and it and the next day the cycle repeats, and the days seem to be shorter and everything seems to be moving fast and you feel like you’re being left behind. I’ve read that with depression you lose interest in activities you once […]
The weather is beautiful, either hemisphere. I don’t understand, but there are many things I do not understand.
I’ve been in 4 armed robberies, and I won every time. Why? It would have been so much easier if I could have lost.
My best friend and I were both going for a big bucks cab ride, and I won, I got the $200 ride. The consolation prize was a fellow with a 9mm in his pocket who simply wanted to become a member of the Aryan Brotherhood, and needed to commit a crime to get into prison so he could join. A little 16 year old kid, […]
I’ve been on this site many times before…Reading this blog is like reading the Bible to me. It’s refreshing to be able to read all the honest feelings in these posts. I am not happy to read about how so many of us are suffering, but at the same time, it’s nice to know that I am not alone in how I feel at times…Well most of the time. I wish that I could accurately describe how fucked up my life is…It really is exceptionally miserable. I’ve spent the majority of my life with depression and anxiety…But I always had hope for the the future..Hope for […]
I just don’t know what happens to me sometimes, it is strange. I start saying things that I really shouldn’t say, I ruin everything around me because of this terrible habit. I don’t want to do it, it’s just like it takes me over and I start doing stupid fucking shit. And I can only watch as everything breaks down. It ruined so many things, it just makes everything so awkward. I don’t want to do it and yet it happens. I’ve had to explain many weird messages send to random people in the middle of the night. I’d usually say I was drunk, but […]
I’ve said a million times that I would rather be beat up than to hurt emotionally, but it never seems to work out that way. As I found out on Thursday night, even if you are beat up physically, your heart will still hurt.
I am not getting any younger. I am 29, I have a seemingly great life; I have a full time job at a great company, I have a wonderful apartment near my job, I have my two cats that I live with, some great friends, a supportive family… But there is one thing missing – a relationship with myself.
I am constantly trying […]
My dad is depressed and I’m a little worried about him. I don’t know why I feel the fear I do of losing him to this depression but I am scared. The last two nights he has come home late and been drinking,, not hard liquor just beer, but if you knew my father, you’d know, before the depression he might of drank one beer every 7 to 8 months ( not exaggerating)  his depression has struck a cord in me and In worrying about him I kind of worry about myself. I don’t mean to sound selfish, because I am not but if suicide were on his mind and he went through with it (though […]
Once again, I talk to you about how I hate myself, in finer detail through several posts i shall write.l. Im 14, for those of you hear who arent teenagers im sure you remember (or have heard) the socially akward, the classification of people, the need to be in, the primitive yet complex popularity scale. Its all very interesting, but I feel like I really dont fit in to anything. The truth is, im just plain weird (not to mention unpopular, ugly, awkward, etc.) I really dont know how to handle myself in any given situations. Example: Tonight at youth, instead of engaging in conversation […]
I hate the term ‘to help’ because it means that you have a problem to be fixed in the first place.
I am a teenager and have already been through more than most people can even imagine. My biological father left when I was a baby and is in and out of jail. I haven’t met him, nor do I want to, but that event in my life is still a part of who I am today so it was worth mentioning. When I was young (2-5) I was physically abused by my stepfather at the time (also my little brother’s dad). I have two half […]
I’ve tried before to take my own life, I was 22. Many things had occurred through out my life at that point all of which had been coming to a boil, my button had been pushed, death was the only way to escape.  Some may find it cowardice, but not me, it’s my life, the things in my life are under my control, and at the time I felt I had lost control of everything. So I decided I was going to take control of something for once, it was one of the lowest days of my life. I was having issues finding work, the mother […]
I think about it every night before falling asleep. You know, that time when you are supposed to be winding down, lying in your bed in the darkness with nothing but your over active brain that won’t shut up to keep you company. Sifting through memories that you long to experience over again. Feelings you’ve felt, decisions you wish you could alter.
I’m going to end it.
I was spoiled growing up. I have an older brother and a younger sister, so that makes me the middle child and the second boy. I was created for the sole purpose to give my brother someone to play with […]
Being happy.. Is possible. No matter how far away from ending your life you are. Don’t believe me? Days ago I was in my room.. No one was home.. And it was raining. I sat on my bed, with my brain spinning with ideas of suicide. One came up that I could do.. Painless.. Simple.. Perfect. I got my supplies. As I sat on my bed minutes away from death so many thoughts were running through my head. My sister.. Prom.. College.. Teaching.. Having a wedding.. Children.. Friends.. Graduating.. And growing old. So many things I wanted to achieve before I left this life behind. […]
I just don’t get what I’ve done..Maybe it’s cause I’m too needy.Maybe it’s cause I push everyone away when they are to close.Today I just looked at myself in the mirror and yelled.I let so many things I cared for leave me..they left me.But what did I do wrong?It was never like this since this summer it feels like I had everything ripped away from me.Im so alone in this world .Im still waiting for someone just to understand or possibly relate with what I’m going through and why everyone’s leaving me.Ive never felt my death wanting to happen so soon..
I sent a bullet through my skull 15 years ago on November 10th, 1997. I never did it again, came close a couple of times but I’ve tried hard never to let things get that bad again. Of course, so many things are out of our control and there’s always the day to day BS that can lead to death by a thousand cuts. Even as a small child I remember suicide being an option. If things went bad at school or with friends I remember thinking “I could always kill myself” and it made me feel better. I didn’t act on it until much later but […]
If you were to die out there in the battlefield…I would want you to know how I feel about you before you go…4 years is a long time and it could be longer…You were, are my hope…And kept me moving even when I felt I couldn’t go on anymore. “I may never walk again but I’ll be fine crawling…” “You won’t crawl forever! You will walk again!” Will I be able to walk once your gone?…I keep crying…tears rolling down my check! I don’t want you to leave…But, I have let you go in the past but of course that was only for a week […]
you know its intresting.I start to think more about what if i do succede what my death will mean if it actually happens.and a little bit o topic okay ive heard a lot of people saying barbiturates are the only medication that will kill you not you.Ive overdosed a lot in the past when im not cutting or burning or drinking nasal spray.I almost died from the use of sleeping pills and lithium which i was taken off of right after.Now i find there are different types of suicide.Some people i wouldnt consider suicidal cause there just bored with life its not really emotion.Some people […]
So I never really loved anyone in my life. I don’t really like my parents either. I was neglected by my mom, who is an alcoholic, and my dad that is always busy at work supporting the family. So i’ve been alone for about a good 15 years? I never had many friends. I couldn’t trust any of them. They’re just back stabbers. Not a single one of them was faithful. I was picked on throughout my childhood. So much that it just doesn’t bother me anymore. I really don’t care about many things now. People call me name but it’s whatever. I really don’t […]
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