I’ve been suicidal for over a year now… I hate myself I just want to disappear not many people would mourn me… Just my family I don’t have a wife or kids. That’s kind of the problem I have no one to love my lease prevents me from getting a dog so that companionship is out. I live with my mom because I’m 19 and I don’t get paid enough yet to move out I dislike her with a passion… What a *****, I’m adopted so don’t do that whole she birthed you bullshit I can’t stand the *****… I had a girl in my […]
in honour of World Suicide Prevention day last week, I just wanted to share a success story; my story.
1 year ago on June 15, 2014; this was me.
and 461 days later I am still here ??
the bravest thing I’ve done thus far in my life was choosing to stay. to stay, and to keep fighting! life is messy, and it is damn hard, but you know what I also found out a rather hard way? it is REALLY worth it. […]
I dont know when will this end, I have the feeling of emptiness, i dont talk, interact, think, i usually sit infront of the computer and just do nothing (because ive done every thing that could be done on a computer) i hate people, i hate my self, i hate society, even when i do drugs i have bad experiences (the high doesnt make me happy i just think of how bad my life turned to be), i am a 24 year old, i have an architecture degree ( though i hate engineering), and im living in a country where i have to join the army obligatory, […]
Lately I’ve been asking myself one question. What’s the point of everything I’m doing?
Why am I trying?
Who really even care’s what happens to me?
See I’m a single mom of two. I have a two year old and a four year old. An ex who doesn’t give two flying chicken nuggets about them and a family that more or less feels like they despise me lately. I can’t get over no matter how hard I try people still seem to hate me for some reason. I screwed up and called a close friend a friend today and he got upset because he was hoping for the […]
I’m new here..and I just desperately need to type this out with the anonymity that comes with the internet. I’m so..very tired. I’m not sure what’s wrong. Since I was little..maybe 7 I became withdrawn. Depression rose and finally last year when I was 24 I finally collapsed when the anxiety decided to come out full blown. My mother took to immediate care once she found me 4 times curled up sobbing for no reason. By that time I had taken off work, my grades were garbage, I had stopped eating, stopped everything but lay in bed and cry. My father says it’s in my […]
I really do wish that I’d never been born. It hasn’t been worth it. My life is like a super depressing foreign film that has no happy ending. Everyone I’m related to has a go nowhere life. I don’t know why they bother breeding they just add more pointless miserable people to the world. Genetically inferior stupid people shouldn’t be allowed to breed. I can’t believe anyone ever agreed to breed with my biological father, he’s hideous. I hate resembling him in any way. I hate being half Mexican, the men are always so ugly and short. My white relatives are all white trash. I […]
So the other day I was in a kik chat with 35 people who have use or still use SP as a place to vent. A few people recently joined the chat after being away from sp and chat fot at least a year, and they had seemingly moved on with their life. So they were discussing their time they spent here in this community, and I began reading.
The conversation went something like this,
Person 1 – “I’m so glad that time of my life is over…”
Person 2 – “Yeah, we poured so much of ourselves and emotions into SP, it was really hard
There was more […]
As of right now I list a lot of things that are going wrong with my life. I put in my two weeks at a job I hated and when I put in my two weeks they started telling me not to come in everyday so I’m getting no hours, I still haven’t found another job despite applying at tons of places and I’m financially screwed. I was forced to move back in with my family in order to get away from the latest in a string of abusive relationships. I owe my college over $3,500 for dropping out and can’t go back to school […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Who here has social anxiety that extends to the internet? It’s a lot easier to share my thoughts online, and it doesn’t bother me who reads, but talking to people directly via comments sends me into a state of panic. Even positives comments leave me flustered to the point that I have to close my browser and go do something else for a little while. Here, making comments on news stories, youtube videos; all so nerve wracking.
I figure that most people are their bodies, or have convinced themselves that they are their bodies, but I’ve convinced myself that I’m inside my body controlling it. All […]
I have a heart disease since 2012 my life changed since I went to doctor. I love foot ball but he told me that I mustn’t touch a ball anymore or do any sports that exhaust me because I will die so after that I watched my friends do every thing they want except me. I accept that but in 2014 days passes and I cant sleep it was painful my heart very hurting me until now. I completed my high school this year. but my friends hate me they don’t say but they don’t want me to go out with them and when I […]
The day I attempted, I knew exactly what I wanted. I didn’t care who was hurt and who would be a complete mess if I actually did die. I wanted out. For weeks before I was under so much stress from my mother. Everything was always my fault. Everything. The night before I attempted, I stayed out til 4 am with my boyfriend having one of the best nights in my life. When I finally came home, with 1% on my phone battery, I was locked out. She locked me outside in the downpour thunderstorm, frozen cold.
I managed to get my phone one long enough to […]
I recently ended up moving in with my dad who hasn’t been in my life for 7 years because my mother kicked me out after I attempted suicide in July. She likes to believe that my entire depression that I’ve had for 3 years has been fake. Being with my dad is definitely better than being with my mother… except I feel like I’ve screwed up his life now. He isn’t used to living with his kids and isn’t used to spending money on anyone but himself so I get in a lot of crap for being expensive. I think about trying again everyday. But […]
Its my day off. I woke up too early. I cried in bed for probably an hour. No shame in lying about that. I prayed, and I cried some more. I actually made myself breakfast today. But it happened to be in the after noon when I ate it. So I guess I can consider that brunch. I ate in bed… And have been there all day. It’s the place I feel most comfortable.
I feel very numb today. I feel as if I have given up the hope I was holding onto so dearly. Why? I don’t know. Nothing has changed. I tried to cheer […]
I’m tired of feeling like this every day. I keep waiting for the right time, that will hurt my family the least. In between birthdays. Far away from home. I wish it was simpler, that I could make my choice and fuck all the consequences. But I have this huge guilt about leaving my friends and family, especially my brothers and my mom.
I have had many failed attempts and this has hurt my family. I want to ensure everything is successful next time. I think obsessively about methods and timing, around 10-30 times a day. I’m on anti depressants but they don’t help. The only […]
Hi I am Adam here is my story.
Growing up I never really had a father or even father figure in my life which is pretty shitty but I am sure it happens to a lot of people. My mom and dad divorced before I can remember so it’s always been me my mom brother and sister. I was about 7 my brother 10 he had just broken his collar bone so his arm was in a sling we had bunk beds and I had top bunk I had jumped down and accidentally hit his arm which was an ACCIDENT but my dad being the […]
Hey, so I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m defective. Nothing I try and do changes how I feel I should just end it all. Its been this way for as long as I can remember just a constant over whelming feeling that I’m not suppose to survive this thing we call life. I’m not trying to wallow, nothing majorly traumatic has happened in my life its just my serious and honest opinion. Ending it would be so easy but I can’t seem to get that right as I said I’m defective. I thought I was ready tonight then time got away with me and […]
Hello world,
My name is Max. I here to share to story and hope it is an inspiration to someone who is depressed or has ever had of suicidal thoughts, ever wanted to relate to someone who is in the same position as you. Anyone watching please share if you think this video could be helpful to them.
So here it goes.
My story. I have had suicidal thoughts on and off for the last 15 years of my life. From what I hear was a really nice child. I thought of others and was kind, but I was uprooted from my mother, when I was around 8 […]
Last night I prayed; I prayed for forgiveness then I prayed for help, and by the end I was praying to go home, begging the Lord to just let me die. If I alone do not have the strength to end my life my only hope is Gods’ mercy. I’m sure faith shouldn’t be like this…
im 18yrs old girl frm a vry sophisticated family…my dad died 8 yrs bck…nd soon aftr his death i fell i hv no one else alive fr me to support me or listn to me or understand me…no one else understands my feelings…my family,my friends n even my bf…no one…every1 always shout at me n tell me i am mentally unstable…i feel lonely n depressed all d tym…i wana die as soon as possible…i tried it mny tyms but i was not successful in this coz i lack of guts to kill myself…plz help me to encourage me to kill myself…