I moved out of my mum’s house to get away and have a chance at living. There I was falling behind in school, and I had to raise both of my siblings and take care of them even though one was three years older than me. I did all the house work, cooking, and cleaning. I played Mum because no one else cared. Finally, ten months ago, I moved out and in with my aunt and cousins. I don’t know which place is worse. Everyone here hates me. I’m the ***** that moved in and ruined everybody’s life even though I’ve been generous and I […]
Tag:
my life
I am just sick of people and I feel that I am not able to make friends again and there is no friends in my life only one friend since high school and the rest doesn’t return my calls and we gather once a year I know that every body has a busy life but I am sick of being alone with my family
I hate myself and I hate my life.
Yes, I know my life could be worse and I have so much to be thankful for. I just wish someone understood how I feel. I just wish I had someone to talk to that didn’t look at me as a whiny ungrateful young woman.
While I have a long list of unfortunate events in my life, the most bothersome is “The Other Woman.” Her name is Natalie, she was a friend of mine who was in my life for a short amount of time that has branded and mutilated my mind forever. This woman is an awful person. I […]
The last few years of my life I havent really been able to feel any form of emotion to anything. All I feel is just a numbing kind of sense. I have a loving family, a great group of friends and an amazing girlfriend that I know loves me… But I just can’t seem to feel anything back… Its almost like I’m just watching my life go by with somebody else in control… I want to be able to be loving back to them all but the only thing I ever have on my mind now is death, like I’m just waiting for something to […]
I’ve had depression, anxiety and anger problems for years now. I have my good patches, I have my bad. Currently it’s my longest run of bad patch, over 2 months of consecutive bad days no good ones filtered in there, it’s taking its toll really.
I have a lot of responsibility, I run a business, I just received a loan from my parents to buy a car. Every time I try and see a psychologist something comes up, a business meeting, all of my bills come out on the same day so I have no money. The problem is the bad days just keep on coming, […]
I refuse to be afraid of the future, I refuse to be afraid of death. I refuse to let others harm me mentally or physically. I refuse to be the one people step over. I refuse to let anyone rule my future but myself, I refuse anyone the right to tell me how to live. I refuse all who dare step in my way, I refuse to allow the world to darken my soul. I refuse to be afraid of anyone and anything. I refuse to die with sadness. I refuse to let humanity corrupt me and I refuse to be weak in the face […]
I am married, have 2kids, working, I just can’t manage any thing in my life I feel like I fell in a big hole that I can’t get out of it and my husband dome times supports me and most of times not, he is a destructive person always want me to do what he wants immediately without thinking we are not getting along these days my life with is always ups and downs we are in down state always argue about every thing (cleaning, washing dishes, doing laundry, doing homework with my son, my kids hygiene and so many other things) he helps me […]
A while ago I made the commitment to myself that if I can not change my state of mind, my hate of myself, and find the release needed to deal with this pain… I would get what I always wanted for my birthday.
Have been working really hard at being mindful of my thoughts. Why I feel that way, what causes it, and who is the biggest influence in my life.
Reaching out, puts so much on that person I love, how can they be honest?!? Know my thoughts good and bad, and know what needs to change, but who I am won’t allow it.
Can’t help but […]
To everybody that I’ve hurt in my life, and all the lives that I’ve touched, I’m sorry. I am sorry for bringing myself into your life and bringing trouble along with me.
Anna –
You were the friend that was always there for me even though you were the one who betrayed me in the end. During our friendship, you threw me under the bus over and over again, but I forgave you each time, because I trust people too much and I forgive too easily. There were times when you were the best friend I could ever think of, and there were times when I thought […]
Starting in January, I began experiencing what I call “sinking spells.” What happens is I suddenly loose all energy, like a tire going flat or a balloon suddenly deflating. I have to lay down and sometimes sleep for a couple of hours. I’ve checked my blood pressure when these attacks occur and it’s a bit low. When I awaken, it’s good. My cardiologist has suggested having a defibrillator implanted in case my heart suddenly stops. That’s just NOT gonna happen.
Yesterday evening, around 11pm, it happened again. I wasn’t sleepy when this happened…..insomnia…..well I quickly passed out in bed (not the same thing as drifting off […]
I guess I’d like a man in my life but not just anyone. But in all honesty it might make all the difference…
Dunno if I can trust again after having my heart stomped on though.
I don’t think I was really cut out to be all alone.
Nights like this I wonder why I’m here
I have so much to say to cry for and of course no one is near
I feel everything but fear when it wins.
I just wanna end everything at once
I don’t see a reason to why I’m still around. Not one fuckin reason.
Everyday it’s something new.
It’s not anyone’s fault, but I do wish you knew
I yell and scream the pain away
But when it’s inside I can’t bare but to stray
To stray to a place where no one can go
There, no one can make me smile or hurt me
No one can say […]
my ex came back into my life. She told me the biggest load of bullshit and that we need to stop talking, then 2 months later she texts me about how she cried cause she missed me. WHat the fuck. HOW’re you gonna lie to me, then tell then come back 2 months later. I tried so hard to bring back the relationship but she just ignored me. I brought her back of course, she’s like the only person i think ever cared about me, About my well being. Shes the only person on earth who knows im suicidal. She’s the main reason i wanna […]
new to site I thought I’d tell my story. I first took psch meds at age 16 after becoming depressed for no reason. within an hour of being put on one med I felt something tear in my head. for the next 30 years I dealt with these sensations progressively getting worse but I tried to have a life anyway and used alcohol to numb the sensations and cope with the anxiety it caused. basically I became a highly functional alcoholic and had a good career, a wife and kids. four years ago the brain tearing apart sensations got much worse and I have pretty […]
I think I fucked up everything. I was a fuck up socially in school. Barely had anyone to talk to. That wasn’t very fun. I used to never leave the house. I was just a sad piece of shit. That all kinda changed this year. Met some people, started going to concerts. Actually had a job for over a year. My life was getting so good. Then I met this girl. She was amazing. Everything about her was perfect. Even her imperfections I ended up loving. The way she let her messy hair go. The way she never wore makeup because she didn’t give a […]
Yesterday I decided to make a list of all the reasons why I need to “Leave.” Within minutes, I’d come up with 18. I could have kept going all day. The list has since continued to expand.
I’ve considered suicide before, but I now have firm plans to make my “Exit” in just a few weeks’ time. Despite having spent the past 25 years in therapy, I haven’t been at all successful in changing my unhealthy patterns; no matter how conscious I am of my issues or how carefully I make decisions, I always end up in crap situations and attracting people who are more broken […]
i have reached a point in my life that I never thought I would reach. Recently I found out my wife of almost ten years has been cheating on me for sometime now. I have worked six days a week since we were married to provide her with the life that she always wanted. We even have a beautiful son together that was recently diagnosed as having autism. I have done everything for this woman that I thought was the love of my life only to have her stab me in the back.
I came home one day to my son in his room playing, while […]
I’m ending my life tonight. I don’t want to talk about my story or leave anything behind. I just want to go since there’s no hope of getting better. As an atheist I don’t want to cease to exist, but there’s no other option if I want to escape a lifetime of chronic pain. Despite the fear I have I’m also feeling relieved knowing that it’s almost over.
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]