I dont think anyone can hate me just as much as i hate myself . ive been rejected so many times for so long i honestly end laughing at myself because idk why im putting up with . i dont even know why i continue to look live with depression . someone that is alone like myself will never beat depression or ever find someone to care about me. Sometimes i just sit and imagine to myself how my life would be if i wasnt alone depressed or being with someone special to me but reality is always outside of my mind .im finally […]
Blame xirzio for this shot. Sorry guys.
I feel sort of spent tonight. I’m making progress, but it never seems to be enough. Nothing can make me forget. These things that are running through my head nonstop.. They’re eating me alive. Before long, I’ll be a skeleton on the floor of the mansion that I used to call my life. When did it go so wrong? There has to be more to life than this […]
Why do we pick days for suicide? I have been trying to plan mine for a fucking year, maneuvering the date around birthdays or special occasions. But then I realized, it doesn’t matter what day it is. It doesnt matter if we leave a note expressing our apologies to loved ones or telling them how much we love them. It is never going to take the pain away. Suicide is selfish and I’m not going to bullshit myself anymore. It just is. But people make selfish decisions all the time, not revolving around death. I’m choosing this for me. For once in my life, I’m […]
I was here years ago ranting about how worthless my life was and how much I wanted it over. My life never got better it’s worse now. I’m looked down upon by everyone, I have no friends, I cry myself to sleep every night. I can’t get a girlfriend at all. I want love, happiness and joy but yet it has still avoided me. Nothing in my life has ever gone right, it feels like on the rare occasion I have a happy day, the next day is a completely depressing day. My car I just bought is broke down, several best friends abandoned me, […]
Most mornings I wake up wishing I died in my sleep. Why? Because this life sucks. I weigh over 300 pounds, I have never had a relationship, I have a grand total of 4 friends that I have known for over 15 years. I had no family except my mother and stepfather who are always nagging me to get help for my depression. Who wouldn’t be depressed if they had my life? I get up, I go to work, I come home, take a shit, eat, jerk off, sleep. Repeat. I was happier when I was getting high and banging hookers all the time. Now […]
I cut my legs to the point I think I need to go to the doctor. All because I fucked everything up in my life.
My life has been layed out for me since I got out of middle school. “Take these classes” “Join this” “volunteer there” and I never had a say in anything. Recently I just got a tattoo. I am now a high school graduate. My mom found out and all hell broke loose. Of course being the person that I am I just sat there took all the beatings, and verbal abuse because in her mind I ruined myself. She told me to stop hanging out with everyone I’m friends with, don’t contact them anymore, and she took away my chance to go to Virginia for […]
He was feeling sad today cause of a family problem, I tried my best to make him feel better, I tried to let him know that I was feeling worried about my life too, college and stuff. And I was just starting to tell him, when he started to talk about his problem and I completely forgot about myself, so I can focused on him and try to make him feel better and not sad. And tried and tried my best, and he never let me in, he tells me “I love you” and I take it, but it feels like a lie, why. He […]
I live a life of missing others. Whether it is due to death or just the fact that my best friends live 700 miles away, every morning when i wake up I have a long list of those I miss. When I miss someone so much it causes a sort of “pit” in my stomach that makes me not want to be here anymore. It sounds ridiculous- i know. The fact that just missing someone can cause such emotion and thought, but I believe it is more than that. The emotion of missing someone can be overwhelming. I dont just miss people, but also who […]
I posted my story here yesterday. Someone asked me if I had ever gotten help from a mental health professional.
I have not. Honestly I’m scared. Not only of what everyone in my life will say, but about the process itself. I do not want to just be pumped full of anti-depressants and spend an hour each week talking about what makes me sad. I am also terrified of being admitted to a mental ward.
Is there anyone on here who has been to therapy/gotten mental help and would be willing to share what it’s like?
The decision to keep going for the hope of a better life even though I have been hopeless for multiple years and staying for the only 2 people that have ever cared about me in my life (my parents) or to be selfish and just enter peace where I end the years of suffering every single second of my life where I am not sleeping. I am tired of crying and just want peace. Decisions, decisions. A decision that will mean life or death.
hi I just made this account. My name is julia I love in a small nobody town with good friends asshole parents and school sucks. I’m 15 I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. I take Zoloft everyday so I can function without freaking out. I self harm I was just 144 days clean but broke it today. I’ve been good for the most part but only because I’ve been pushing all my feelings and responsibilities away. I have d’s and c’s in every class except for gym and the only reaywhy I’m doing well in gym is because my teacher is a creep […]
I’ve been dealing with suicidal tendencies since I was in high school. TEN YEARS AGO
Obviously it hasn’t been continuous over those years. There have been days where keeping it a secret is easy and my “happy face” feels normal.
But these thoughts have been VERY strong over the past month of so.
I HATE my job. The people I serve (I work in food service) are RUDE. I’ve been laughed at, sworn at, and just generally treated badly. I serve the same people every day so I’m constantly dealing with it.
I am so unhappy in my apartment. I rent a room and have no say in who […]
hi I’m a 27 year old person that has been caring compassionate and loving. I have a wonderful family that I would love to repay for everything they have done for me. Lately my depression has been so heavy it hurts. I met a gir. l I’m absolutely nuts over and my mood and things chased her away. I’m so tired of being alive. My body hurts my mind hurts. 27 years old with no girlfriend behind in my education and with no way out. Surely there is a better place for someone like me. I’ve never hurt anyone, I live my life trying to […]
I’m 22 years old and I feel utterly hopeless, at least compared to a few months ago. I live with my parents, work a low end retail job and have very few friends/social interaction. I’m going back to college, but even then I feel like it will be an utter waste of time in my life.
I’m introverted, so naturally I like to be alone. However there’s times where I get bored and lonely. Most of my friends either do activities I don’t like (clubbing, drinking) or don’t […]
Im done. Im finished. Theres nothing left more me. No more energy, no more strength and no more will power. Through the most stupid shit my life ended. Im a shell. Im dead inside. Im sick of feeling like this. I don’t possess the balls to off myself, all I can do is pray that someone kills me. Its not hard and I won’t be missed. Fuck heaven and fuck hell. I just want my pathetic blip to be wiped out. Fuck it im done!
I really don’t want to die but I feel like it’s the only thing I can do to escape everything that haunts me in my head and my life. I just can’t stand my thoughts and insecurities, therapy and medication are a bunch of horseshit I know this firsthand as I’ve been on countless medications etc. The only thing that breeds a positive change are life CHANGES and improvement. Nothing gets better if nothing ever changes. I don’t want to fucking hold myself back anymore, I want to be free. I feel like I’m imprisoned in my mind and it’s been too long like this, […]
all i cannot say i pour out here even tho it feels so painful in a way. i was told to practice self-compassion and i cant. i cant believe anyone cares. the ones who do are the outsiders. everyone else – nope. ive been dealing with really bad depression and isolation. it is hard not to beat yourself up. my heart just had a huge jolt from noise, for me, noise brings up the past. i wonder how much longer i can bare this. my online friend said if i end my life i dont go to a better place and am still “me” and […]
i hate asking people for help. I hate being a burden. I hate being the first to text. But i do all of those things anyways cause i cant help it and its better than being alone. My best friend is becoming a stranger. I just feel as though on a daily basis nobody at all cares. Its hard to live like this. Ive never attempted to take my life but ive thought about it more than you can imagine. Sometimes i almost have the courage to attempt but have never gone through with it yet. keyword yet. So, I just wish there was someone […]
No matter how I try to ignore this feeling it keeps coming back…it feels like its a part of myself and it’s wrong for me not to feel the pain or trying to distract myself from the monster inside me…3 days ago I threw away all my razor blades thinking that if I don’t cling to the thing that makes me feel that way it will slowly fade away…I was never so wrong in my life….for 3 days I thought I was invincible then boom!! My ex whom I still love so much found someone else…she has been ignoring me for weeks..at first I thought […]