I would find it hard for anyone to answer that question with a definitive no. Some thing as small as a good:book, movie, meal, or drug, is enough to make you happy, even if only temporarily. I feel happy when I’m around people who laugh at my jokes, and when I’m able to help those closest to me. I’m also happy when I’m: high, drunk, fucking, and cutting, but that is more a happiness centered on the basest of pleasures. Lastly I would say I’m most happy when jamming on the piano or singing. I realize I have a lot more in my life than […]
I don’t know how to handle life and all the feeling that come with it anymore. Every morning I wake up with anxiety and deal with it all day and I lay in bed for hours wishing I could just stay asleep forever. I don’t know what ive become, ive pushed all of my friends and family away. I don’t know how to talk to people, but most of all im so lonely and heartbroken, and I have been for so long. every girl I meet once she gets to really know me she runs away from me. the first girl I ever had a relationship […]
okay, so i was just writing a post that gave everyone all the information that could possibly need and then some about any reason I may have for feeling blue. I had to stop myself mid way because I realized it wasn’t even helping me out. I was boring myself! Instead, what I am going to try to do here is just blurt it all out. Say what I’m feeling, maybe add a reason or two, and then move on to the next whatever comes to mind. I’m hoping this does at least a little something for someone if not for me.
3………………3………………….2………………………………….2……………………………………2……………………………..1…………..GO!
worthless. I […]
My fiance, boyfriend, whatever I should call him is it. Just makes me want to do violent things to myself. Screaming at the top of his lungs that I’m a monkey, a c#nt, a cow. Im so infuriated I want to just jump out of the car. I want to go running screaming at the top of my lungs, I cant take it anymore.
I read a man in Japan last Christmas jumped off the third floor of a mall, to his death, because his girlfriend wouldn’t stop shopping.
That’s how I freakin feel. It makes me to want to die . I dont understand why this […]
Ever since I was little I lived my life in fear that something bad was going to happen to me, and I wish I had never been my life.
When I was 8 my parents got divorced. I remember the family meeting my mom and dad had with my little brother and I. My mom decided one day that this life wasn’t good enough for her anymore, so she picked me and my brother up, gave us a tooth brush and shipped us off to our aunts house. Ever since then my aunts house is the place I’ve always gone. She’s given me some sort of […]
Hello to everyone out there reading this post. I posted what I thought would be my last post nearly 3 weeks ago now. I posted and then went on my last walk to the forsest preserve where I was to die. Had all the supplies in my bag, I was ready for it all to be over. I had finally felt this level of peace that I hadnt felt in over a decade. I was happy that it was finally almost over…..
Well obviously it didnt go according to plan as the branch must have snapped and I woke up on the forest floor. I immediately […]
I may be just a kid who is just now getting to know what life is to most people & hasn’t even gotten to my teen hood but Im already dead . Its just my body walking with what is left . I hate everyone i hate showing myself . I feel like im just alone in a dark world cornered but its okay ive been here awhile ive made it home . I’ve been here 7 years I saw how life & the world really was but Im stuck here nothing is gonna make me budge from this corner of mine its where my […]
One thing I noticed recently is my life resembles a hailstone, i.e. severe ups and downs. There’s actually a way to represent this mathematically (and yes, I am going somewhere with this!)
Take any natural number N. If N is even, divide by 2 (to obtain N/2); if N is odd, multiply by 3 and add 1 (3N+1). Repeat this sequence.
I’ll work out a brief example. Let’s start with 3:
3 is odd, so we multiply by 3 and add 1 to get 10.
10 is even, so divide by 2, to get 5.
5 is odd, so multiply by 3 and […]
i typed this up a couple weeks ago but removed within a couple hours removed some content that id rather not be indexed and re-posting
being depressed all the time is not easy lack of sleep completly drained any little glimmer of hope i used to have i cant do it anymore feel like giving up and crawling in a dark hole and waiting for endless sleep to creep up i know ill probaly never accually take my own life but the thought of it does make me feel a little better sometimes i wander how much better everyone who knows me life would be if […]
dear jaqueline
its true i may be finding out ways of liveing the days with out knowing your ok
and even if it is a chain of one night stands that cross this land ill do it all because its not the fact you left me its that idk if you got fed up with me or you up and died its like a whate some one stuck to the top of my head and with evrey step i take in the qwick sand of this world i sink a littel lower i move a littel slowere with each tick of the passing of time i need […]
Hi, everyone.
The past couple months for me have been the same as before: sad. Then I realized something today, I can actually change my life, like maybe I’ve actually just missed this big solution to all my problems and now, I can finally be happy, or something.
Generally, people think I’m ‘chill’, and I guess I am, on the outside that is. On the inside, I have great turmoil. You see, I’m a very pessimistic person. Small offhand comments can stay with me for weeks, months, or even years. I’m always told to start ‘thinking positive’, and I’ve tried but it never works, or maybe it’s […]
after my first post i realised that as much as i hate talking about what bothers me, i have to… so here goes… this is the reason why i have lost my way, my happiness and my self..
All through high school my parents fought, as much or maybe more than every married couple does, but after a while my dads drinking had gotten worse by the day, my parents stopped sleeping in the same room, they stopped having conversations ( apart from the usual ‘whose gonna pay the bills’ argument), and we stopped being a family.
When i started university and they assumed i was now […]
I would not categorize my self as depressed, but as an angry, lost, and weak individual. I’ll start my story in the year 1986. My father and mother have meet, fell in love and decided to get married. My father’s family was against it due to social, culture, and financial difference. But my father went and got married anyway, Romantic you might think? But it’s not. My mother had so much shit from his family and here family [they refused to help and just got money]. And my father did not do anything but stood in the corner and did nothing. He was, he is selfish.
Speeding […]
I was offered a new job today that was by all means a great opportunity. I felt so hollow accepting cause it meant I’d be alone there, when I’m alone every other way.
My on/off partner is interstate, I moved away from him after he kicked me out. It’s been 2 years he has promised me he would move here with me, but always seems 6 months more away. I left my family and friends due to this and yet when I visit them I don’t feel anything.
The bulk of my day when I don’t work I fantasise about my own death. I even walk alone […]
So I am new at this site and am seeking advice. I am in my mid twenties and am a relatively successful individual. About 6 months ago my life turned upside down when I was diagnosed with a cosmetic skin condition call fordyce spots on my lips. The problem with this condition is that it is progressive meaning it gets worse with time and that there is currently no cure out on the market. Over the past few months I have quit my job lost most of my friends and have detached from family, religion, and basically anything else that requires social interaction. I have […]
i feel so disappointed with myself. i have completed nothing in my life. im not good at anything not art not band nothing at all and it freaks me out. just thinking of what i have to do just to be an adut i feel so lazy for a long life
Peaking through the pipeline, the red retina of a sweet, white death. It tunnels redemption and purification, drilling down through the walls and the ceilings of a deep-seated madness. It’s an exhilarating construction of love.
The sun never sets in the land of betrayal. I expended my life in the liberarion of people’s stains. I avoid the common and the norm, and recklessly crush my knees over new untamed paths, only to find myself chased, still, by memories of spiked colored eyes; stabbing my chest.
I was visited […]
I apologize now because this will be a long post. Doubt anyone will actually read it but I need to just find somewhere to put my feelings. I see a therapist two times a week. Every night I’m too scared to go to sleep because when I turn off the lights and try, that’s when the thoughts get the worst. “You’re a f***ing piece of shit please kill yourself.” “You’re burdening everyone, you’re gonna do them a favor by doing this to yourself.” Thoughts like that constantly. Those are more of the calm ones. Sometimes i hear almost like a voice screaming at me to […]
I haven’t felt the need to take my life in over a month and now the thoughts are creeping in on me