This morning I found myself clutching my wrist. There was a bag of razors in the bathroom, my dad was watchin tv, it wouldn’t have been hard to just end it all right there. I dont want to kill myself, I want to be killed. I pray for someone to just run me over, to get my kidnapped by terrorists and shot in the head. I want someone to just do me a favor. Am I being selfish for wanting to leave my family? Do people on this earth really need me or am I just flattering myself? I just dont know anymore. I give up…
I told myself I wouldn’t let the self-harm get out of hand.. But it has. I started off only cutting 2-3 times a week, but now… I’ll cut countless times all on my body… My wrist, my ankle, my thigh, my stomach, everywhere… I don’t know how to control it anymore.. /-\
I take one glance at my wrist and see the thin bluish, greenish web-like veins
The urge to open them up today is to strong
To feel the high hot warmth of blood drip and then then rush down my wrists contaminating whatever it lands on.
To feel the sharp jabs of needles that causes my eyes to water and for me to go momentarily blind.
I pray for an eternal silence.
been a long time since i have suicidal thoughts going on through my mind . it seems like getting stronger each day . the scars on my wrist are getting deeper and deeper each day . and each day , I’m hating myself even more . every day i questioned myself why am i even alive . i just wished i can be died . be dead by losing a lot of blood or even eating a lot of pills so i overdosed . my life couldn’t get any worser . why am i alive . why is my life like this . i just […]
I had to write an essay for one of my teachers and I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote about my suicide thoughts and my scars. And so now my whole family knows and they are giving me all of the attention, and now I have to go to a therapist. I hate all of the attention, and I hate that now I have a therapist. I hate talking about how I’m feeling to someone face to face. That’s why I talk here, I can talk to all of you and you won’t know who I am what I look like, and […]
Haven’t been here in a while. Things got better for a while but somehow i’m the same again. I feel so lifeless. Found something temporarily for my hurt but when that’s not enough, I’m not sure what I will turn to. I’ve been feeling down lately, feel like i don’t want to live anymore. I’ve turn to cutting to ease my pain, holds me about a day or so. First it was just my wrist then I’ve move to my face. It’s a bit uncomfortable because people always watch me like what happen to me. They often ask if someone is beating me. I work […]
So, I am being kicked out of my house at a bad point in time and honestly i do not see a very good future for me, and i guess ive given up, im about to be homeless and id rather kill myself than be homeless. Ive spent the past 2 hours looking up painless ways to doe, there arent really any which kinda sucks, i dont have a gun i might just get super high and cut my wrist up to my forearm. i hope i wont feel it too much, i wish i could just end it right now intantly, i would be […]
…I haven’t posted in a while, and that’s becouse I’ve been trying to be happy and stay happy. But why do I always end up at the starting point, feeling worthless and tired? This deppression suffocates me, it’s not letting go. Sharp knife rests on my wrist begging to slice it open! I know I shouldn’t do it. Trying to restrain myself….but it feels so good! The pain is addictive, the blood is beautiful! I’m afraid of what people will think of me if I tell them how I feel. Will they think I’m weird and insane? Am I weird? Am I insane?
Now that summer is coming I’m going to have to start wearing short sleeves so at one point I’m either going to have to tell my parents or they will find out about the scars that I have made on my wrist. I want to tell them that I have been doing it to myself but I don’t know how to tell them, and when I do tell them they are going to tell my whole family. And if my whole family find out they are going to start asking me questions all the time, and watching everything I do. It will make me even […]
I hate my cutting scars so much. I have really horrible ones of my wrist since I cut myself really deep, so deep that I cut really sick from blood loss and had to stay in bed for like two days and it keep re-opening even after a month. I don’t usually cut myself on my wrists, but I didn’t I was going to live long enough for it to matter. I also have many raised scars on my hips which are much easier to hide. Usually I cover the ones on my wrist with a bandage so that no one can see them and […]
My parents don’t know that I’ve become suicidal, no body does. Everybody sings out loud, I know I do, and my family knows that I’m always singing and listening to music. I’m always singing out loud or humming. So maybe they just stopped listening to me because for a while I haven’t been singing songs, I’ve been singing what I want to tell them, but don’t have the guts to actually telling them. I’ve been singing, “late at night your asleep and I’m awake, with a blade digging in my skin.” I sang that loud enough for all of them to hear, but they block […]
Im done I cant take it no more or just might slit my wrist tonight i will die i cant live in this life no more i cant i wanna die so im going to take my life and if go to hell im a theif and horrible person I take advantage of the stupid and bleed them dryvim go there anyway so I just go quicker
I’ve become so depressed that I started cutting my wrist, not long ago. I wear long sleeves and sweat shirts to hide the scars. But the other day it was warm out so i wore a short sleeve shirt and brought a jacket to hide the scars if I needed to. It turns out that I didn’t need the jacket because everyone who must have seen my cuts didn’t give a fuck about it. They would look at my wrist then at my face and turn around and act like nothing happened. Um… hello you know that what you just saw isn’t something you always […]
This may seem like a minor problem at the moment,
But (I’ve mentioned) while seeing psychologist today, when she left, I took the moment to badly harm myself.
But see, I never hurt my wrist because its very evident and I don’t like wearing long sleeves 24/7, and it interferes with everything (the pain), and above all, its so horribly painful there afterwards, so usually when I’m doing ordinary tasks it stings like hell.
i wanna take a shower but….
Dear lord…
Any advice?
I am planning to move
to England in 3 months and start to work there. I want to save a big amount of money to take a makeup course. Makeup is what I am truly interested in, it’s a beautiful art to me and I have the skills to it. This is my future plan. Oh, and a tattoo on my wrist to cover my scars. The little beads will be torquoise and the bigger one will be poison green.
So I know warmer weather is coming soon and normally I’d be very excited because I love warm weather, but this year I’m dreading it because of my arm scars.
Last year I cut myself very badly on my wrist, I did it so badly that I get very sick from blood loss and I couldn’t get up without throwing up and my vision going blurry for a couple days. I know there is no reasonable excuse for them because they are very obviously self-inflicted so, I have been wrapping bandages around my arm and just telling people I hurt it.
I’m looking for excuses for why […]
Fuck this life, man…
Fuck it all… Not even dope can help me heal now… It’s all clear, I’m not meant to live in this world, or any other for that matter…
I hate it when I have to wake up in the morning… Sleeping without any dreams is so peaceful… If death is like that, I want to die. There may be no turning back, but I don’t want to ever wake up again. All I want is to sleep. An eternal sleep, and nothing more. Is that too much to ask of this sadistic world? Perhaps it is…
Because of my new part-time job (as a […]
I have been suicidal as long as I can remember. If you need anyone I’m here. I’ll gladly share my story with you
I have this tattoo on my wrist.
It’s a peace sign and it says I’m still breathing.
I’ve had it for two years.
I couldn’t protect my sister, So I didn’t want to live.
My tattoo […]
Im tired of people saying everything is gonna be okay.. It’s not its really not. I’m tired so tired.. My dad won’t help me and my sister out. We’re gonna…. We’ve lost the apartment annd were gonna be put on the street.. And its like he doesn’t care. He helps sometime but this is a dire problem.. And everytime we bring up the topic he just ignores us. He pays my step moms rent and lights but he can’t even spare 350 for a deposit.. I’m tired I’m going to shove this. Knife so far up my wrist vain. They won’t be able to save […]
I woke up focused on purging the pain. Spent all day in the hills trying to find peace. Came back to my little cottage that reeks of death. Cried and punched the wall till my wrist got sprained. Bottle of liquor and a handful of toxic killers. Just looking at them and crying. Their punget smell just painted a horrific spectre of death. I just couldn’t do it. Whoever said suicide is the easy way out deserves to go to hell. I just feel so alone and torn apart from the inside. I don’t know what else to do.
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