Tag:

nervous

It’s time

by enoughinsomnia 8/17/2015

written by enoughinsomnia

I thought I had posted this last night but don’t see it. I don’t really understand all the SEO stuff but I checked them all. It seems like the most secure thing to do.

Anyway, all I can think of is ending my life here and planning it in terms of finding a few pets other homes, etc. I am older so it’s not like I have “my whole life ahead of me”. Depression/dysthymia with a few major episodes, nervous breakdowns, excruciating pain then surgeries then more excruciating pain, pain meds addiction. Finally managed to get out of pain and thru several Dr.s and bad doctoring […]

8/17/2015 1 comment

Turning My Life Around

by FreakShow2 8/9/2015

written by FreakShow2

When I was last on this site, I was on the brink of committing suicide, as I had been for, in retrospect, about five years. It was an awful period of my life, and I would never like to revisit it. However, I feel that it is necessary for me to come over here because of how this site effected my life.

After I had a particularly painful episode, during which I threatened to drink bleach and simultaneously overdose on various painkillers, I conceded defeat and got put on an antidepressant. For many people, these medications are rarely effective the first time you take them. […]

8/9/2015 2 comments

midnight jitter-me-timbers

by kills 7/31/2015

written by kills

“What’s your plan?”
I don’t have one.
“You’re trusting providence.”
I nod.
“You get angry and blow up at the slightest criticism of yourself, constructive or not. You can’t accept any from anybody.” She said observantly.
No. I don’t.
“Why?”
People criticize what they don’t understand.
“Well, you’re going to have to learn. Learn to accept advice.”
No. I never will.
“Why not? You are suffering.”
We all suffer. We only ask for advice when we feel lost. I’ve never needed advice from anybody. Life, is all about learning we have all the answers we’ve ever needed inside of ourselves. Truth is we’re never lost. […]

7/31/2015 1 comment

Tell them all we’re dead.

by sickfromthemelt 6/20/2015

written by sickfromthemelt

So, I had a conversation today:

Me: Hey…
Sister’s friend: Hi (my name), how are ya?
Me: Alive.
Sister’s friend: *nervous laughter* Well, that’s good.
Me: Depends on your perspective.
Sister’s friend: *more nervous laughter* You’re funny…

This aggravates me, far be it from me to seek attention or, god forbid, support, but it seems like people, especially the ones around me, feel comfortable ignoring every snide and brutally honest comment I make, do I have to hold up a sign?

Hell, while I’m reminiscing, gather ’round kids, let me tell you a story:

Late(ish) last year, I was walking home, along a busy street, when some kids started […]

6/20/2015 1 comment

It’s over

by gerios 6/17/2015

written by gerios

Hi, I’m not an english native speaker, so sorry in advance for misspells or grammars errors.
I have a Borderline personality disorder.
I’m 28 years old and my life is a pain since when I was 10 or so.
I have huge social issues, I find hard to stay with people around without feeling really uncomfortable. I always felt really alone in my life.
Three years ago I knew this girl, let’s call her Giulia. She’s a very smart person which studies physics.
She is like a dream for me. She was not my first girlfriend, but I could feel that she was special. We […]

6/17/2015 5 comments

Anxiety is a *****

by T-Rex 5/19/2015

written by T-Rex

Anxiety is the unwelcome guest within my mind. Nay, not a guest, but the unwelcome demon that inhabits the depths of my being, not just my mind. It captures my whole body in its icy tendrils that are mistaken for its hands, it slams loud noises and makes me jump, it causes me to sweat and shiver at the same time. My heart races faster than a horse at the Kentucky Derby finish line, causes my hands to shake more than the milkshakes that bring the boys to the yard, and forces my brain to whirl in a fashion not unlike the Tasmanian Devil from […]

5/19/2015 1 comment

I’ve Lost Myself

by dead 5/15/2015

written by dead

Don’t really know where to start. Maybe where I got so drunk the other night, possibly the drunkest I’ve ever been, nearly attempted, and also fell on the sidewalk cutting up my entire body and face, which had people asking questions. Or maybe with someone who doesn’t bite their nails much, I have none left to bite. Or maybe how I sleep the absolute minimum now, maybe two or three hours a night, if at all. My sleeping patterns have been especially messed up, even on taking extra strength Advil PM doesn’t knock me out. I thought all my stress from school was the root […]

5/15/2015 5 comments

Prayer Request (not really religious but can use an angel watching over me)

by BrokenAngel8 5/14/2015

written by BrokenAngel8

Hey guys and gals, I have not mentioned this but for the past 10 weeks of been getting medical testing done due to some health issues I’ve had since last November.

I have a Dr.s appointment tomorrow to get the test results and honestly I am a nervous wreck . I don’t know if its out of fear what could possibly be wrong with me or hearing those 3 little words… If that would happen I don’t know what I would do . I mean what kind of man would want to marry a girl like that. I sure as hell wouldn’t.

I am not very religious […]

5/14/2015 7 comments

nervous

by paingoaway 4/26/2015

written by paingoaway

hey ya’ll. i know what meds i need. i just cant afford them. I dont wanna be homeless, but it very possibly might end up that way. Im so close to getting healthy, oh well. I will continue to fight to find decent employment and to get my own place (through HUD or section 8 or something). I miss my friends on this site? Where did you all go?

4/26/2015 1 comment

Give me Liberty OR give me Death?

by wndozh8er 3/25/2015

written by wndozh8er

How about giving me Liberty BY giving me Death?

No matter how “free” your country is, the laws of nature in of itself is oppressive. There cannot be true freedom unless suffering is abolished though technological advancements. Unless all diseases, both mentally and physically are cured, biological immortality, a post scarcity society, and suffering abolition becomes a reality, nature will oppress us like Hitler oppressed the Jews and the law of entropy will be our executioner.

Many people want to live in this modern world. They get high on there own dopamine receptors or there belief in some invisible sky god that they convinced has a plan […]

3/25/2015 0 comment

Depressed Brother

by Skeleton100 3/22/2015

written by Skeleton100

What to do about a depressed 10 year old? Family’s in chaos, inconsistency. Divorce pending, mom in hospital, dad drifting away to girlfriend. This 10 year old has random meltdowns where he can’t stop crying and eventually storms off. No one can approach him. Sometimes he refuses to talk to anyone. He’s all right at school, I think, but home is miserable. It’s snowing right now and he doesn’t have any distractions.

I’m worried because I see some streaks in him similar to myself. He feels misused, shut-up, abandoned, unloved, etc.

I don’t know what to do. With my dad working nights we’re at home alone a lot, […]

3/22/2015 0 comment

Terrified

by effystonem 2/25/2015

written by effystonem

I am terrified of my parents. I don’t know why. They’re good people, I just hate telling them anything. Whenever I get a grade back, I never tell them unless it’s really terrible or unless they haven’t seen a grade in the class in a long time. Like, sometimes I want to show them a grade, good or bad. But I get so much anxiety from just showing them; approaching them and saying ‘hey I got my —– test back’. I get so much anxiety that I wake up during sleep and my stomach gets that nervous feeling. I have no clue why. I just […]

2/25/2015 5 comments

Let the time pass

by comomequieranllamar 2/24/2015

written by comomequieranllamar

Almost 12 in the morning. I haven’t get out of bed. Downstairs, my dogs are barking at something. They’re nervous, they haven’t gone for a walk for some days now. I feel terribly guilty for it. I guess that just not guilty enough to find the courage to face the world.

At some point, I’ll need to leave the bed, even if it’s just to feed them and go to the bathroom. It feels like an enormous job to do.

No Internet, not phone at home. The bill hasn’t been paid. Some weeks ago, it would have dragged me to anxiety. Today, it’s almost a relief not […]

2/24/2015 3 comments

Not sure..

by broken24 2/20/2015

written by broken24

Every Tuesday I sit in a therapy office and get told that as long as I take my medicine and think of all the positives I will be, “okay.” Dr. Herr looked at me one day and asked me something I’ve never really thought about before and it completely shattered me..”when were you last happy, when have you felt ‘normal’?”…The last time I woke up and wasn’t terrified to get out of bed and wasn’t so nervous about life tumbling down around me that I had a panic attack, was when I was locked up in a Psych ward. I tried to drown myself in […]

2/20/2015 0 comment

Still in a Dark Place

by the12thdreamcatcher 2/4/2015

written by the12thdreamcatcher

Hi, this is my first post, so I thought I should tell you guys about my story…….

My parents both are a little messed up, my mother has OCD and Major Depressive Disorder. My dad has PTSD, that has made him turn to drug addiction. My parents both smoke marajuana (which is sadly, legal in our state) and that ended in my siblings and I being split up and put in different various foster homes. Since about two years ago I started self-harming (burning) and I have had two suicide attempts. After my first suicide attempt my families court case got closed and everyone returned home. […]

2/4/2015 1 comment

What’s wrong with Me?

by Lovebug4142 1/28/2015

written by Lovebug4142

Today in 4th period I was fine, then all of a sudden I started getting really antsy and I got really nervous. I have no clue why, I asked my teacher if I could go to the nurse to take my medication (I don’t take medication) and she asked me if that’s where I was really going, obviously I said yes. But I went walking around and tried to calm myself, but instead I got angry. I started punching the walls and I started punching myself, I have no clue why. So for 45 mins I went walking, then I went back to class and […]

1/28/2015 2 comments

My very first actual date

by ClairDeLune 1/19/2015

written by ClairDeLune

Meh. Not sure what I should think about it. I mean I enjoyed it, we got to know each other better and I think she had fun too. Even though there were a couple of moments where neither of us said anything and it was kinda awkward, but not as bad as the usual awkward silence I get when I’m nervous. Speaking of, I’m glad I wasn’t actually as nervous as I thought I would be. But I’m not at the point yet where I’d say the “ice is broken”. Usually when I get to know someone new I can tell pretty well when that […]

1/19/2015 14 comments

Mad World by Gary Jules – a very relatable song

by NotSorry 1/6/2015

written by NotSorry

An amazing song from the movie “Donnie Darko”. I find it very relatable. I even learned to play it on a piano.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard […]

1/6/2015 5 comments

Message in a Bottle

by QuixoticNomad 12/26/2014

written by QuixoticNomad

“Because, he said, “I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you – especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land some broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, – you’d forget me.”

I miss you, SRC.

12/26/2014 0 comment

Mad world

by Deleted.from.society 11/9/2014

written by Deleted.from.society

“Mad World”

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday

11/9/2014 0 comment

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