I can’t go through this anymore, being lied to, betrayed, and hurt by.I’m tired of wanting to not be myself of hurting myself. I contemplate if I ceased to exist how long it would take anyone to notice, well if anyone ever did. When you are alone and don’t have anyone who truly loves you its hard. I can’t be strong anymore because I know its not worth it. No one actually wants to be with me for something other than their personal gain.
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no one
I feel like everythingis just on its way out. I had to move in with family because my hours got cut, im on the verge of an ending relationship, because my girlfriend and i are both in debt and i feel like im the only one trying to get out of this hole.
I cant even have an enjoyable conversation with anyone because im just not interested in the simple things that most are. Im a techy, a nerd, a gamer, whatever you want to call it, and theres no one really around here that i can have intilectual conversations with, about the things i […]
I just can’t stop this feeling of terror inside of me… I can’t stop crying… The pain won’t stop… I will never had the life I dreamed of, I’ve fallen too far… Now I can’t get out of this spiral down…
I tried to kill myself so many times but it doesn’t work with overdoses… The maximum I got was a coma once… I can’t seem to cut myself… Just cut for pain relief… It hurts all the time now…
The sad thing is no one can help me, not even me, it’s just a slow and painful death… But I never get to die… […]
I don’t know why people keep connecting with me. I know it’s flattering and some people might actually would do anything to get that but it’s rather hard for me. I know spending time with friends would take me away from my problems for a while and that is nice but I know I’m going to be an ass and ruin it. I don’t even know if I’m being an ass or not. I don’t know if people accept me or just trying to keep a profile. I am weird and extremely moody. One shit can hurt me like what AM I!?
I am fine being […]
I feel as though my life is not worth living. 17 relationships with both guys and girls have all screwed me over just for what they want from me. I’m not a person to anyone. I already attempted suicide once. Now my parents are watching me closer than ever to keep me in their hell. No one respects me. Every one at school hates me for no fucking reason and I’m going to die alone in this world because no one has ever loved me. I am only existing on this earth because of a broken condom. I need to die.
… too Scared of life, to carry on,
… too Useless for everyone, they all want me gone,
…too Impossible to love, too impossible to care,
… too Confused in this broken land, for me there’s no one there,
… too Invisible for everyone, they think I’m bore,
… too Damaged at heart which they tore,
… too Emotional, I can’t live anymore…
Everyone depends on me I do everything that I’m told with no questons and I get no appreciation, everyone and everything is leaning on me while I have nothing or no one to lean on… I just wanted to disappear from all of this negativity peacefully… But I don’t think I can muster up the courage to take my own life even though I think about doing it often…. I need a way OUT
What does it take?
I did everything like i was supposed to. I got myself alone, away from others and made sure help just couldn’t arrive in time. But I couldn’t do it.
I stuffed the barrel of the shotgun into the back of my throat bit down on the barrel and pushed the trigger.I tried and nothing. A three year old could make that gun go off, why not me!? Few days later I stood on dam in a city far from my own. It was way past midnight, no one was around. I stood there. and couldn’t do it.Couldn’t take one damned step into the […]
Everyone crys or hurts after a break up. If you don’t, than you didn’t really care anyway. If I tried to off myself after every relationship that went sour, surely it would have worked…
You really can get over these people. It just takes time, depending on the person. The boy I dated before this guy, we were together a year and a half. I thought I loved him, but I loved the idea of him. I was lonely and in a new city. He offered me free drugs, had a nice car, and put up with my drinking. The sex was awful, but what did […]
I loved him. It was two long years with him. I cared. I gave 100% everyday I was with him. And the fact that he wants nothing to do with me is the worst feeling ever.
So I heard he was cheating on me. Which turned out to be a lie. He breaks up with me. I go take him his clothes. I get there and he won’t even acknowledge me. I run after him. Trying to get some kind of closure. He won’t give me any attention. That’s when I snap. [being ignored is my biggest pet peeve and what triggers my depression is […]
Enjoying the story so far? GOOD. Before i continue with this part, i will give important facts to remember because it makes the story even better. Isaiah grew up going to a christian church. I know, I know, he grew up with pious pricks, but yeah he was raised with good morals and values. And he always went to either a christian or catholic school. And he also went to summercamps after each school year and recieved the same treatment he recieved from school at summercamps and his church. Isaiah grows up not being able to trust his legal guardians, authority figures, or students. Isaiah […]
Hello there. Wanna hear a story? Well let’s take a look inside my head shall we? This story will consist of different parts and depending on how much i feel like typing, that’s how much of the story that will be posted. Anywho, let’s continue. Once upon a time there was a man who went by the name of Rodney. Rodney was addicted to cocaine. Rodney found a woman who was also addicted by the name of Renita. The two have a child and abandon that child to die. This child’s name is Isaiah. Growing up, Isaiah’s word was never believed. He would tell the […]
Yesterday I tried to kill myself but the metal was so cold against my head. I had a fool proof plan that I was too weak to pull off. I got bullets. Got a gun. Cocked it. Held it to my temple and tears started to flow. I’m not strong enough to pull the trigger. Imma fckn loser.
I honestly wish I could disappear. Or I could pay someone else to off me. Clearly Imma failure and can’t do it myself. How much of an idiot do you have to be to fail at suicide?
Ive been lonely. So lonely. I want a husband. I wanna come […]
Ian moone translated into “I am no one” who is my sad depressed lonely side that doesn’t believe in attainable love
Shifty my angry shifty no caring side that doesn’t believe in good hurting others is acceptable
C????? my real name the name of the battleground for the two sides the combination of the two sides some days shifty has mostly won some days Ian has but they both fight
I’m so devastated. Every day is just sadness. I live in constant terrible regret. Because I was a coward and couldn’t kill myself the guranteed ways, i live in constant physical pain. I can’t walk and run, my right leg is paralysed and left is nerve damaged. I used to love running. Even though I have always hated myself and suffered from depression, i trained and had a body to be envied. Now, its like ive woken up inside a nightmare, life doesn’t even feel real. Im just so sad. And it’s all my fault. No one else, just me. Suffering. Seeing doctors, specialists but […]
I’m living on a hope thinking that one day I’ll wake up and magically life will make sense and have purpose, but each morning I awake from the dream that tomorrow will never come. Before I go to sleep I cry, pray, beg and plead to God to let it end to take me while I sleep to the only place I’ll ever be at peace but my prayers go unanswered. So I awake to the thoughts of suicide. I’ve convinced myself that that Hell can’t be any worse than my Hell.
There’s no one to talk to – no one to take the pain away […]
I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t know what do I need to do. Am I sent here to be a laughing stock? Am I sent here just so people will pity me? I do not fucking want pity. I do not fucking care if they laugh at me or if you laugh at me for being so fucking pathetic. I am a disabled person, yeah so don’t fucking complain if your life is messed up, because mine is more complicated. You complain about those bullies? Then tell them to fuck off, stand up for yourself. You complain about money and shit? Don’t fucking […]
Well it appears this is the only place I have to talk about this. I have no one that understands what its like. I cant tell anyone from the proffesional field because they will just lock me up till I tell them Im all better. Has happened before. I cant take it anymore. Ive lost everything I possessed and everyone i loved. The one person left in my life that I truly truly love doesnt know it and never will. No matter anyway. i was content with having her as my friend but now she is not even that. I dont even register on radar […]
My obnoxious buck-toothed dumbfuck brothers outed me to my conservative mom. I’m a transguy. I’m still figuring out myself, and I certainly wasn’t ready to tell anyone else. Plus my mom’s in a difficult situation herself – she’s depressed, anorexic, going through a divorce, etc. So it’s really ridiculous to burden her with my situation.
She told me I was an attention-seeker who needed to pray. I told her – and tried to be firm – that I felt confident and happy, dressed as a guy. She responded that it was a false sense of confidence instilled by the devil. According to her, no one in […]
I am not afraid of death but afraid of life.
I just want to go back to where I belong.
A place far far away from here.
Where no one judges one another.
But maybe, maybe it’s all just a dream and I’ll wake up in that beautiful place again one day.
And the rainbows will cover the skies.
There will be happiness.
Why?
Why am I fooling myself?
This is reality not a dream.
I am alive on the outside but I’ve been dead for so long.
I became ready for death a long time ago but I guess death isn’t ready for me just yet.