Not that I think of suicide. Its just that part of life where nothing excites me. I feel no enthusiasm for anything that i can do. Tell me if this feeling is normal so i can keep my sanity in check.
18 here
It’s a bit hard for me to put so much pain into words. But I’ll do the best I can to explain it.
I am not a strong person. I was never a strong person. And by many accounts, I have no right to complain about my lot in life. I’ve traveled to many places, never been physically abused, and I’ve had many things provided for me. I have a roof over my head, and a pantry full of food. My own bedroom to hide away and enough toys to drown my boredom. The simple distractions may work for a time but when you stop feeling, nothing […]
They had it easy, honestly. Two seconds of pain and now they go out as heroes. Nobody questions anything they did, ever. This universe is so strange. If a stranger shoots us in the head, we instantly become heroes. If we do it ourselves, people call us cowards. Of course there is actually nothing heroic about being shot in the head by a stranger, and nothing cowardly about raising a gun to one’s head and pulling the trigger, but that won’t stop the masses from judging as they will.
Hello, everyone.
I am a miserable person, I hate my life. I know nothing will ever be perfect for me. Pointless. I am nothing more than a catfish, ugly on the outside and ugly on the inside.
I can’t go anywhere, I can’t see anyone, I can’t do anything. I am so tired of being so despised.
Sometimes I think I can do this, I can live like a normal person, but I can’t.
Happiness is so fleeting.
I long for that little rush of adrenaline that comes from someone loving you, but when they find out who I am they always leave me. Even if I tell you too […]
Today’s the day. I am killing myself today.
Just wanted to say goodbye? IDK, my family doesn’t give a fuck about me and I just wanted to say goodbye to somebody.
If you must know, I have been suicidal since I was 17 (I’m now 26). This all feels very pointless to type but I’ll type it anyway.
I was so neglected by my parents that I was allowed to become morbidly obsese. At 12/13 y.o. I weighed 240lbs. I was harrassed and ridiculed on a daily basis in Junior High and it was torture, I grew to absolutely loathe waking up every day and felt like a […]
I am a girl who is 19 years old. For years I have always contemplated suicide. I have physically harmed myself in many ways, including hitting my head against stuff, punching walls, and cutting up my hands. Recently, I have been thinking into deeper matters. Life usually is supposed to get better, right? Doesn’t occur in my case. Regardless of what goes on in my life, no matter how positive I am in all situations, nothing ever good happens. Yes I hear the whole it gets better speech, everything anybody can name and all the stuff from the books. I’ve heard personal experiences and all […]
I grew up with a father who has never been happy, has always been depressed and we as kids were always trying to find out ways to make him happy. Nothing ever did. And that hurt us as kids not knowing that it was not us making him unhappy, that that was just her state of being and there was nothing that we could do to bring him out of that funk. Eventually I know that is what killed him, you can’t live and thrive with that kind of sadness and depression in your life all of the time. There is no one who could […]
My sadness never goes away it’s constantly grabbing at me in the slightest saying “you can’t forget me” as if I had a choice
it latches on to every ounce of my living, adding to my anxiety, my confidence and me questioning, if I’m good enough for myself?
not once have I lived a day like the other kids, not once have I spent a day with out this lingering darkness, not once has this thing loosened its grasp, constant doesn’t let go.
Constant stares me in the eyes when my family dinner didn’t involve the middle child,
constant pushes me away from any school events because constant won’t […]
Pro’s:
My life is empty, pointless and meaningless.
I don’t have any omph/ passion for life.
I do the same thing everyday. Get up do nothing. Go to bed.
Just waiting for time to pass day by day.
I’m basically the walking dead.
All I ever do is sleep all day.
I have no job because I’m a lazy fuck.
I have no friends cause I’m a lazy fuck.
I don’t think it’s going to get better.
I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember.
Con’s:
I don’t want to go to hell (if there is one).
I have my family to think […]
I can’t do this anymore. There’s no point in living if you don’t feel alive. For as long as I can remember I’ve been fighting depression and struggling with poverty and I just don’t care anymore. I’ve had nothing but horrible, humiliating, miserable life experiences. My biological family is beyond dis functional. I don’t really have friends just acquaintances. The only man I love hates me and wants nothing to do with me. I went to college and still can’t get a decent job. My best friend in college died. I have Major Depression, PTSD, and Agoraphobia. I am physically repulsive and it would take […]
Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don’t try to convince me that
There’s something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.
And it’s not true that
It’s all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be obtained
Only if one’s surroundings are good
It’s not true that good exists
I’m sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It’s all beyond my control
And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that
Today was a good day
Now read from bottom to top.
When All is sad and done… nothing really matter.. the only Thing i know for sure, is the fact that i want it All to stop! I need to grow some bigger nuts and just end this shit!
so lost.tired.broken. nothing to describe how im feeling really. i want to sleep forever it seems like my whole future has gone out the window. so tired and restless but i have to figure ths shit out i might be over dramatic but oh well. ig i cant say that or id be a hypocrite haha..
Everything has been a downward’s spiral. I don’t really want to do anything anymore, I’m too sad. I don’t want to go to work, I don’t want to pack my things for going back to school next week, I don’t want to leave my hometown, but I don’t want to stay. It’s like I need to get away from here because I’m more hurt than not over recent events, but I don’t have anything waiting for me at school either. Unless you count my ex who probably won’t want me back anyway because I gained weight this summer. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to […]
I feel like it’s time. But I don’t want it to be. I made a promise to myself, you see. I promised to wait until I was 21 to find something to live for.
Even though I really want to wait, I’m just tired. Waiting is probably the best way to describe my life and I feel like I can’t take it. Also, my head hurts all the time, without apparent reason. I don’t want to feel pain anymore, but I don’t want others to suffer because of me.
I’ve always prefered to be hurt if that means that someone doesn’t. Maybe that didn’t make […]
These past few days have been full of epiphanies, deep reflection and tears and a strange sense peace. Knowing that my ship is about to set sail into the unknown has created some serenity in my mind. I was tired of being motionless and receiving constant beat down. Relocated to the country, all I do is just breathe and watch the lush greenery. I am preparing for release.
“Life can be a setback, and death can be progression
Life can be a burden and death can be release
Life can be a problem and death can be a solution
If your life is death there can […]
One of the things that piss me off the most is when people do drastic things for attention.
I hate when people say they have depression and that they’re depressed when they really mean sad. Like depression is a mental illness that you would have to be diagnosed with. You can’t go around telling people that you’re depressed and expect sympathy. I get that being sad can eventually turn into depression. You cannot just have it from one day to the next. If you were actually depressed, you wouldn’t tell anyone or make it public, because you know thay everyone will end up treating you […]
Life for me it just a reset. Nothing is What it seems happiness is a temporary lie so why indulge.?? Because you want it so bad.. But once you get a taste its taken away from you and your left more broken than before. You just find ways to cope with life until it kills you or you end the suffering and do it yourself
I am 99% sure that I want to kill myself. I really want to tell someone that so they could say they had a chance to save me, and they can feel less guilty when they can’t, so they can say at least they tried. But I don’t want to tell Julian (fake name) because he would try to stop me. I haven’t felt this sure about anything in a long time.
I’m going to do it. I need to at least try, or I can’t live with myself. (I guess I wouldn’t be living with myself anyway, ha.) I will be documenting the next few […]