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pain

thoughts

by plasticflower
written by plasticflower

All i want is to stop being a nobody in my own family, the last priority. Is it too much to ask for people to thank me from time to time?

I feel quite hopeless today.

I can be an asshole sometimes, and even though I don’t ever misbehave on purpose, sometimes i just can’t stop myself on time. Every single day i try my best to act accordingly, to do everything that must be done and what is, now, expected of me. However, sometimes i simply lose it, and act out. I don’t know why i do that, i really don’t. But it hurts others […]

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The faceless man

by Insomnia disaster
written by Insomnia disaster

You might be invisible, but I can see you standing on every corner of my mind.
Do I report an invisible man?
Do I report a faceless and voiceless man?
I still remember what you did to me that year
That summer day where you ruin my life
I remember what you wanted to do with me
I remember everything, yet your face is still a blur
Who am I suppose to run from?
Who am I suppose to hide from?
I still feel you
I can feel how you pushed me against that house
Your hands were two, but they felt like two millions

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Mountains Be My Resting Place

by Space-Cadet
written by Space-Cadet

I’m not sure what to do, I just want to die.

I’m being kicked out from the last family I have left. I escaped a four year, extremely abusive relationship, and begged to the last blood relatives I have for shelter. It’s been nearly a year since February, and they’ve decided I don’t “fit in with the family” and am “not getting better,” so they want me out. I have no health insurance, I’m on disability for major depression, BPD, and a myriad of physical health problems. I’m not able to navigate Medicare or anything, I honestly just have panic attacks when trying to do anything […]

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OD

by sadspock
written by sadspock

I OD’d on my psychotropic (/psychiatric) pills in 2019. ‘Twas a heavy overdose and my pills were strong and of very high dosages. I was naturally almost sure that I’d wind up dead. But guess what? I woke up in the morning. Not in a good state at all, but I awoke. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t utter a solitary word. Hell, I couldn’t even see things. I was cold. I’ve a long history of mental illnesses – BD (+ Psychosis — Schizoaffective disorder) and various PDs, so my folks figured out that I must’ve once again yanked some suicidal sh_t when I […]

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hi idk what this post was even abt

by randomthoughts57
written by randomthoughts57

Hi ok so idk why i feel like people cared more about me during school? Omg that sounds so narcissistic but i feel like i got more attention during school. Ah i hate saying that but its true and its sad that its true. That i simply don’t have happiness within myself but from attention of others.

And so now all my friends are doing there own thing which i think is great! i really do think its great but idk i just miss the attention ig. I miss feeling like people actually cared what i had to say. now i say something to someone and […]

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I want to hurt myself, I’m so sad.

by ays_
written by ays_

Hello, I see that this is a site where people share how sad they are and there are some helpful people out there. I hope I can get some nice feedback from others. I want to start off by saying that I am 21 years old. My grandma had passed away and it took a big toll on me. My family too of course, but for me I wanted to die. Ive attempted to kill myself and this sweet genuine old lady passed away and in my eyes it wasn’t her time to go. It honestly should’ve been me. Recently I’ve been kicked out of […]

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Ingrained Within Me

by Pulse-Of-A-Clover
written by Pulse-Of-A-Clover

My closest attempts were when I felt useless. When the sinking I had felt in my chest, when the lack of energy, and utter hopelessness within me had no reason to live.

More recently, I thought I was doing better. I thought that I had won over these feelings, conquered them; sending them back to the depths of wherever they came.

I guess that was probably because I had gotten a job that I love. One that I thought was too much to handle, one that brought countless nights of stress to me… but now, under this quarantine, I feel myself slipping back into old habits.

I expect […]

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everything hurts

by NumbExhaustion
written by NumbExhaustion

idk whats wrong with me. no matter what i do nothing is good enough. I have a d in calc and im questioning gender again and march 15 is coming up. i planned to die two years ago on that day and fuck. everything hurts and i wanna relapse and i’ve lost all motivation to stay clean or do anything and fuck. i just want everything to be over.

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Feeling lost

by Icy_Dawn
written by Icy_Dawn

Ok so me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years and some change. I have not been the best boyfriend but I got myself together and made huge changes that I knew I needed to make. So last week I scroll through and see that she is in another relationship with another guy. I felt so much anger and sadness. It was a pain that I couldn’t describe but I wanted it to go away.

It hurts more because due to certain circumstances we were at her parents house and now its just me. She comes back and we cuddle and she says she […]

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1115 Days…

by JCITM
written by JCITM

One thousand, one hundred and fifteen days have gone by since we discovered you were no longer a part of this universe, our universe.  It has gotten easier to process but it’s still not easy. The shock of it never ceases. It is still surreal. How can I summarize in words the cluster of pain we feel everyday given your absence?  Let’s see. The reality that you are missing and missed our daughter and son’s 16th birthdays, his phenomenal culinary […]

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Being a good and nice person is not enough

by niki
written by niki

You also must be ‘smart’ especially in terms of knowing how to make money. And often times, that also means you also have to be opportunistic, follow the system & rules (just like everybody else), even be cunning, sly, ruthless, brash, full of tricks, greedy, selfish, ready to step on other people who are ‘weaker’ (eg: poorer, etc).

Money is everything in our modern society today, unfortunately. It’s all about money nowadays. And if you can’t beat the system, then you have to join them. Everyday you are forced to survive, or for survival. And if you’re not strong enough to follow the system/rules, then too […]

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My First Post

by Atum
written by Atum

     In the midst of another outbreak of depression, I found this website through the magical wonder that is Google Chrome. Apparently, searching terms idly such as, “can i just die” and, “does my life matter” actually aren’t completely useless. Let’s start with some basics. My name is Adam. I am 15 years old as of writing this. My mother passed away due to complications regarding lung cancer about a year and a half ago, leaving my already dysfunctional family fractured in an injury that seems beyond healing. I struggle with severe social anxiety, which I believe to contribute a great deal to my […]

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19:49

by plasticflower
written by plasticflower

to say i’m stressed would be an understatement.
these days have been so hectic, i feel like i can’t keep up with everything, but everyone is constantly telling me to keep up, to cheer up, to calm down, to just stop feeling stressed. mental health has been a mess lately, and today is just not working for me. sometimes i wish i caught a cold so i could rest in bed, but then i remember that even if i’m too ill to get out of bed, i’ll still have to do everything.
the problem isn’t having stuff to do, the problem is having to do […]

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Things get worse

by deaths.muse
written by deaths.muse

Living really takes it out of me. Just breathing, surviving another day. It requires so much effort.

Being alive is honestly the last thing that I want. I absolutely hate myself. I hate this world too. I can’t look at myself in the mirror, and I don’t want to leave the house. I don’t have any talents and I am not attending school at the moment because I don’t have the energy (to deal with people’s shit and I don’t see the point in doing work because I am unable to take that work further due to my lack of skill and talent). I practise the […]

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Have you ever thought about doing it?

by Insomnia disaster
written by Insomnia disaster

Have you ever thought about doing something so unforgettable?
Something that you cannot fix after pulling the trigger.
This isn’t the kind of thing you can say “I’m sorry” afterwards because if you do it there won’t be nobody to say these words.
Well, what is it? You will have to figure it out since I can’t say those words out loud.
Sometimes I feel that my life is like a graveyard of buried hopes since that’s where all my dreams like to go.
It is getting harder to breath
Harder to sleep
Harder to think
Harder to live
It´s hard for me to explain […]

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Pain feeling

by Kisser
written by Kisser

Good night, persons that i dont know huehue
Just come to share the pain feeling that sometimes i feel. Infortunily it s taking a lot of time to it appear?
And this is bad, bcs i dont feel anything else anymore. And this “pain” make me feel more alive.
I already tried to cut myself… i felt pain,but just for some time. And what i want is feel something
Well, this was what i want to share.?
If anyone already felt this or like it pls say it
And if someone want to talk, just say it
Good night again, guys?

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My way of goodbyes

by slowly-leaving
written by slowly-leaving

I wrote a letter yesterday to my grandma telling her to not blame herself for my decision. No one was to blame for what I have done. I lost my papa in 2017 and I have not coped well since then. I died with him and I have finally understood what that meant. My boyfriend has tried to help me but I don’t share my feelings. So my decision comes from only me. I am alone and have always been alone. No matter how many people I surround myself with, I have always felt alone.

It makes things like this easier because I don’t have anyone […]

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I want the pain to stop. Here is my story.

by NiceGuy2001
written by NiceGuy2001

I just

want

the pain

to stop.

My friend A_____ turned 50 last year. I organized a nice little birthday gathering for him, which was especially meaningful for everyone since he’s battling mantle cell lymphoma (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantle_cell_lymphoma), and optimistically has another five years to live.

I’ve known A_____ for at least five years. I certainly considered him a friend before his cancer diagnosis several years ago, and as soon as I knew what he was facing, I promised myself that whatever support he needed, I would always be there for him.

We’ve always had a very easygoing, normal friendship. He has always treated me with nothing but […]

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8:55pm

by plasticflower
written by plasticflower

long time no post!!!

i always randomly remember i have this account right when i need it. a whole lot has happened since the last time i posted anything, and honestly it hasn’t been too bad; bearable, i’d say. obviously, there’s many times i wanna sleep forever (guess who still isn’t able to sleep properly!!!!) but on may of last year i started going to university, so i don’t have much time to do anything basically. it’s definitely been an experience and i’m mostly happy about it; i feel like i chose something i could be good at. i just fear that everything that has happened […]

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by unknown
written by unknown

i’m so desperate to find love. attention. hope. maybe i’m just looking for a reason to live. i feel so dead inside, but if you saw me in person you’d think i’m happy. iv been doing this for 8 years, i put on a good act. although i’ve wished someone would catch on. i wish someone would notice. there’s so many things wrong. i just want it to end.

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