This morning I was thinking of posting my last thoughts somewhere, just in case. I’m glad I came across this.
I will kill myself on an August 15th. I don’t really know the year, but that date will be. I’m supersticious of a certain event and I want to try out if it’s real or not.
The only thing that has kept me alive until now is anime, and will still until the August 15th.
My parents blame anime of my “weird” condition. What they don’t know is that it’s because of them I want to kill myself
I’ve tried so hard to get away […]
So after posting something on here the other day, it was pointed out to me that I can’t get out of my depression by myself and the best idea would be to get proffesional help (or a local support group but I found out there aren’t any in my area) and as much as I really want that help, I would have to bring it up to my parents and I have no idea how to… I’ve tried wording it out and writing it down but I really don’t know how to ask them… I can’t really think of another place to ask so it […]
I wonder now and then whether I deserve this family or all the things that I have?
I was always a troubled kid. My parents never knew what was wrong with me. I tried to be like the other kids but I am always a failure. Teachers would tell my parents that they weren’t treating me right and by that they meant that they should put up restrictions. Like they shouldn’t let me waste my time in drawing or reading and force me to focus on studies. Or slap me once in a while over my bad grades. My parents did try that. But that made […]
My mother is always helpful and so is the rest of the family. But if I do something they don’t expect, even they lash out at me. I don’t want to let them know how I feel. Maybe because my brothers and parents have always been so strong. I don’t think they will ever understand my condition.
I have multiple reasons why I feel like suicide is better idea. One of them is my religion. I hate it. There is too much violence. If I breathe a word against the belief of my religion, I might be burned alive. And yes that is allowed in […]
This month, I was a victim of abuse. Twice. No, not “use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse”, it’s “treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly”. I’ve been abused many times now, but I think this month is the worst.
Abuse story 1:
So, one day I was in class, didn’t finish my work, so I was supposed to stay back for recess, but I didn’t want to. The teacher dragged my collar (I was about 3-5 meters away from the class when this happened) all the way to the classroom door, and threw me. I hit something, so I got […]
I was born with an anxiety disorder as well as some minor facial deformities and cognitive deficits that affect my ability to socialize and have been struggling with all these things along with major depression and body dysmorphia for much of my life (am 21 btw). I have nothing in life, no friends, just dropped out of college, can’t hold a job, and very little family. I actually just met my father for the first time this past year and was hopeful that that could blossom into a positive relationship. But while I recently was in his city for unrelated reasons I offered to meet up with […]
I love how you tell someone you’re getting over depression and they say, “Oh, one of those” and just stop talking to you. Yeah, that makes it sooooo much better. People are shit and there is nothing I’ve ever seen to make me think otherwise. The only times people even TRY to act like they care is when they are selfishly trying to feel like they are a “good” person.
I’ve been trying so fucking hard to get over being suicidal… I’m TRYING to keep it together… I’m TRYING to, even if I don’t have hope, LIVE at the very least. Yet I get more SHIT […]
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
I am, though. I can’t help it. I can’t help the fact that Im a failure. It’s not like I’ve not tried to put myself out there. I’ve done everything you wanted, Mom, Dad- I just… Nobody wants someone who’s nobody. And they don’t want any bullshit art that this shitty ass fucking 16 year old made. They don’t want dumbass masks I put my hard work into. They don’t even want my paintings! You tell me to put myself out there and then I’ll get people to buy my things. You tell me not to get a real job and just rely on art. […]
Hi! I’m going to remain anonymous but I’m a 13-year-old bigender person who has never really been happy. I doubt I’ll ever post here again because I have other places to vent (where I’ve posted this, but I feel really bad so I’m gonna write it again. For some reason it makes me feel better), and I prioritize those places. Anyway, here is me.
I was born to my dating high-school-sweethearts mother and father. They lived with my mom’s mother for two years after that before getting an apartment together (with me, of course). They didn’t love each other anymore. My dad says they weren’t even […]
All my life I knew something was different about me… Maybe it was how self conscious I became when my parents couldn’t afford to have more than one or two outfits that fit me when I was little. Or maybe it was how hard my mom tried to make my brother and I happy, but my dad always tore her down.. Maybe it was my parents always being to busy to come to any of my school concerts and events? Maybe it was just me? All I know is that through it all, no matter who I have around me, trying to support me.. I […]
every so often i ask my mom to get me diagnosed with depression.
i doubt itll ever happen, and im probably lying to myself that i have depression but i wish i could get diagnosed within a second. i just want proof that i have depression. maybe some antidepressants to help me cope. my family probably cant afford them, so i feel trapped. ive attempted suicide once. my mom knows about it but she didnt know it was a suicide attempt, because i didnt tell her. anyways. i was talking to her earlier about me getting diagnosed, and at some point she said that my depression […]
Well, I’m here and I will keep moving forward, yesterday I left my dad’s house, I plan on living with my mom from now on, don’t know for how long and don’t wanna think about it right now, my dad is kinda down, he suffers from “depression” (I think it’s like that, don’t know how to say it in English) so yeah… my departure made him feel very bad, and I keep blamming me for this, being responsible for someone’s sadness like that, that’s very heavy! I feel so… sellfish. I always cared for the others first but they can’t see or feel it and […]
My mother is dying. She has always been the head of the family and she runs everyone’s life. She likes to keep everyone under her thumb. Even now, she won’t do what the doctors tell her (they told her mid May she only had a few weeks to live) and now it is mid August. None of us are strong enough to cope without her. I wish she would tell me that she loves me, that she knows I’m a trying to be good person. But instead, even from her sick bed she is trying to get everyone to do as she says. I know […]
A woman
Unknowing the knowledge of world I creep into my Maternal Womb,With the blessing of many , But with great feeling of her,
I grown into her Curve,
In the darkness dome there was Happiness which i felt as she was protecting me,
In lot of vain , she gave me a life
She is a women ” A Mother ”
When i seperated out of my mother womb , i cried but everyone was happy.
In the cries it lies my feeling that someone seperated me with my special gift , my protector, my God as i have to face these Manly cloud World.
But Iam too a women “ […]
Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]
I’ve been at my real dads since June 24 and I’m leaving August 3.
My mom has been verbally and mentally abusive for all of my life. She threatens to physically abuse me all the time. She led me to believe that my dad never cared about me and that he cheated on her with my stepmom.
That wasn’t the case nor did my dad ever do that. It’s got worse recently which is why I’m up here with my dad. I would call my stepmom everyday crying. My dad found out what she recently has done ( she was making others and friends believe I’m psychotic […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
I was wondering if anyone else here has/had psychotic ignorant middle class parents?