There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Yours truly: Hey! Everybody shut up for a second!
rocketman: No you shut up!
Moi: Who gave him alcohol? Goddammit! Was it you Hazy?
Hazy just gives thelost a sly look that clearly admits her guilt
Hazy: Certainly not me!
Myself: Uh-huh, I’m sure. Either way, I have something to say folks! It’s Christmas soon, and it’s a special time for me, even though I may not necessarily be Christian. Christmas is about seeing those you love and miss, and there’s nobody I’d rather spend it with.
rocketman: (slurring slightly) I love you too man!
Me: Good for you buddy! Now, to seal the Christmas spirit I thought we’d have Hazy perform […]
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I keep searching for my purpose and for something…anything that can make me forget everything. Sometimes like a couple of days ago, yesterday, today… I wish there was a little pill that can erase all my memories. I want to wake up a new and different person and see life and see the world with a different perspective because i can’t do it on my own. I’m more than damaged, I’m half dead.
I have so many secrets that are eating me up inside . That literally no one knows . I think it’s time to share some of them .
I’m addicted to meeting older guys online and meeting them in person. I just have a thing for older men. About 25-30 . I don’t know why. I feel like only
These people online give me the time of day . They listen to me . And plus I like
Getting free food from them.. I never end up really talking to them again. I just never feel a connection.
I think it is that I just […]
I’m a really shitty person. I don’t feel like I’m salvagable at this point. There isn’t a future version of me that should be able to be happy. Some people really should just die, and I feel like I’m one of them.
I don’t want to die. But it feels right, to a part of me. By continuing to live, I’m resisting the recognition of who I really am, and what should happen to me. I’m making the world worse, just by continuing to be in it.
The thought of a world without me in it is appealing, even though I wouldn’t be around to enjoy it. […]
Everyone often asks who the worst person to lose is. The answers vary, mostly dependent on your age. Usually it’s either a family member. Your mum, or dad, or some other person of blood relation. As you get older it would change to maybe a friend. And then to a significant other. Those are the three answers everyone gives. But I think the worst person to lose is yourself. You are the only one who truly knows yourself, you know everything, the ins and outs. What makes you tick, what the only thing is that can make you happy sometimes. You control who knows what […]
I don’t know what I’m looking for from this, a place to get everything off my chest to hopefully clear my mind. This is going to be a long post.
I’m 17, male, currently attending a school that specialises in Mathematics, I’m studying Mathematics, Further Mathematics, Physics and Computer Science for my A levels. I have links to a cyber security firm who will give me a scholarship and put me through a computer science degree should I choose to go to university. I also have a huge interest in nuclear energy and want to see if I can get a job in that field. My […]
Why?
Why the fuck is it so hard for me to tell them I’m suffering?
One moment Im crying alone in my room, then the next, I’m smiling like my usual fake self when someone comes in. I have become so good at faking that I can’t show what I really feel. I want to take off this mask. It’s really heavy now, but it’s stuck. It won’t come off.
Why can’t I take it off?
Please… I’m suffering…
I know they are not mind readers. I need to speak up. But how can one talk to a person about what is going on when […]
No one knows how much I’m suffering . And the ones who do tell me I’m too much. So what do I do?
I’ve been going about every day all by my self . And I am alone . All my thoughts get to me . Some days I stand outside and notice how beautiful it is and feel the warm sun and close my eyes and i somehow feel content in that moment , being by my self .
Whenever I’m going to hangout with someone , they end up making excuses to why they can’t hangout. I wish people would straight up tell me they […]
I’m here not for any confessions just to tell about me to this world and if even one person agrees who I am that’s enough for me
I’m a 20 year middle class boy who has faced many troubles infamily…from childhood days I have never seen my fathers love towards me he keeps on shouting and pin points a very small mistake to a large one.. I will be beaten up when I dont obey my fathers words for even a silly thing and my mom doesn’t even raise her voice against my father she reacts like “whatever my husband does is correct bcoz he is […]
My life is like a roller coaster, it has it’s ups and downs, parts were I scream and parts were I feel safe. But if it’s one thing I learn I’m the maker of that roller coaster, I chose what happens good or bad. So I can’t really blame people for my mistakes. I’m the maker of what goes on in my life. If I want things to go right I must go up my roller coaster instead of down. I have to change how my roller coaster is, I can’t have it going down no more. I have to be a new […]
So I got the job, I graduated, I did it. Throughout all the torture of having those really bad lows. And it just doesn’t get better, even if you get a good salary, even if you work in your field, able to pay back on loans and debts and are financially solvent, it just doesn’t get better. I lost my phone, I am still with the person that irritates my very being. My apartment looks like a hoarder’s, I have packed boxes from 6 months ago sprawled around. I’m starting a new job. I’m not even sure if it’s the right decision or if I […]
Hey guys, there is a person called “monster” here in this forum and she asked me to contact her. So how do I pm a member again ?
If you read this I am here I guess
Thanks for your replies.
I feel so heart-broken, that even having my depression improve doesn’t feel important to me. I want to be happy with my ex-fiance. It feels so cruel for my depression to maybe finally lift a little, only to lose the most important person to me. I feel like a part of myself is missing.
It just all feels so impossible. Like it can’t be happening. Or that it shouldn’t be happening. I just can’t stand it.
I have a friend coming to visit me. I invited him because I really need a friend, in person, right now. I don’t have any local friends. But I don’t know […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I always knew someone in my family would kill themselves. My family is huge so someone had to. But I always thought that person would be me. Not my cousin. And now I realized that even though I want to kill myself I don’t want me to be the cause of my death. I want it to be because of something else. Because if I kill myself they’ll blame themselves and I don’t want people to blame themselves for something that I want. Because they won’t understand that it is me they should blame. I’m spiraling down again. I got in a car accident on […]
It is like feeling bad for the world as a whole, all the suffering of the living in general, every time I look outside, the cycle of death and life but the mindless hate and agony we inflict on ourselves, humiliations, hatred, and I can just sit there and watch our forsaken world die.
I have lost hope, we don’t learn, and it seems like I could have done difference, but no, I am just a worthless person, sitting and looking
What do you call a person who doesn’t care whether there is a god or not ? Like I don’t even ask this question to myself anymore because the answer wouldn’t influence our existence.
Nothing is impossible but we are still too primitive to understand the concept of a god.
can we call it “Idontcareismus” ?
First of all I’m sorry I talked quietly. And it’s hard to hear. I had my heater on and it distorted the video which didn’t help. I’ll make it more clear to hear me with my next video.
I’m going to start video logs once a day at the most. Just want to let you know they’ll improve over time. I’m sorry my videos are not that great and I find myself all over the place when I speak. I struggle with a stutter and I don’t speak clearly. I have a speach impediment as well. I’m a very quiet person also. […]
Hazy, remember when you said I should die my hair pink?? Well this happened tonight and I LOVE it. It’s not pink but it is so me! I actually feel really good! Thank you for being such a good person 🙂 you really do make a difference. Now I am sitting back and waiting on the backlash.