When I attempted suicide in 2012 I spoke with a shrink before I left to an institution. Do you know what he said? He said what I do to myself would effect not only me but my loved ones as well.The reason why I thought of suicide was because I over think what others think of me. Doesn’t that suck that even before we end our lives were suppose to still care for everyone else. What do you think?
Tag:
Piece Of Shit
Fuck it.
Fuck myself, fuck everything.
I’m in a perpetual emotional tilt. Dazed and confused. Head spinning.
Legs shaking. Feel like smashing stuff.
I would be a calm guy, I would. I am that guy. But have no choice anymore. I’m losing it.
There’s no choice. It all bullshit. Its in me and from the past. Its fatum.
Hey, I believed in peace and justice and all that. But seriously, if I had power, before abolishing this type of financial system, etc, I would FUCKING WHIP everybody first!
Just fucking burn, Just fucking burn.
All nonsense. I have nothing, nothing. Worthy men have died younger than me, so what the fuck? Why do I fucking […]
There’s no way to describe my depression, hurt, rage, and emotional pain. So many people have hurt me, turned me away, and just treated me like shit. I can’t fucking take this anymore!
I don’t care who the fuck gets traumatized as they witness my death in a busy mall or airport. I WANT THEM TO BE TRAUMATIZED. Fuck you, society! I hate this lousy, Godforsaken planet, and everyday, I hope that an asteroid or nuclear war wipes it the fuck out!
I also don’t care who the fuck misses me. They won’t be my fucking problem anymore. People don’t give half a shit about me, so […]
So I mentioned in my giant self absorbed rant last week that I had a date set up for Monday (yesterday). Anyway, pretty funny story. I didn’t really want to go, not that I was nervous but we just didn’t really click when we spoke. Anyway, we said we’d meet late on Monday and she’d text me letting me know where to meet her. So Sunday I left my phone in my car while I was at a get together. When I came back to it, this is what I saw (word for word):
Girl (Message 1) 6 PM: “I can’t make it on Monday but […]
In 2011, I started praying for a meteor to hit the Earth so that the human race would be erased from universal history.
I’ve since then gotten more angry- for what should probably be obvious reasons. Although I am sure people don’t understand, because most people do not understand honey boo boo plots – they are simply too advanced. hmm where should I begin here?
I was born on September 11th, 1986. Well, maybe I should have taken it as a sign and offed myself on the day I turned 15 or whatever.
Well, I could begin by talking about a father whom I didn’t know because […]
I’ve considered suicide multiple times, much less than most people though. I’m not one dealing with relationship problems, trying to escape pain from a disease, or other things, you name it. I’m fucking sick of humans. I can’t live on a planet that’s full of so many useless lives, including my own. Nobody takes anything seriously anymore, and if I had the option to nuke the planet, no questions asked I would do it, for the sake of any other life forms in this universe to take advantage of what we have. Aside from my hatred for humans, I can’t stand myself. I know I […]
Last week I found this website and thought it might help to get all my feelings out because I kind of hold them back. Actually I hold them back a lot. For some reason I started to not sleep again and I know when I don’t get sleep things get bad. But they haven’t gotten this bad since my suicide attempt last year. I don’t know what I was doing but two days ago I just started taking some pills I had. My boyfriend could tell something was wrong and said he was coming over by the time he had gotten here I had taken […]
what is it with parents/ loved ones and guilt trips..
they always cut me so deep..
I feel like such a piece of shit afterwards..
I realize I screwed up, but..
after one guilt trip, especially from my mother..
I just want to disappear forever..
death.. is fine, don’t care..
then I get angry.. but that gets me nowhere..
guilt trips, so cheap and piercing..
simple words that destroy my day..
suicidal thoughts flood my soul..
and the fight in my mind continues once more..
and so, in the end, the person who so adamantly doesn’t want me to kill myself..
is the very same […]
I’m so tired.
I’m tired of telling myself that my life worth living.
Just wait. Everything will be alright. You will survive.
But no.
I can’t take it. Not anymore.
I’m so tired of my mother.
“Don’t open your mouth you’re little stupid shit.” I’m sorry but I’m 18 I’m not little silly girl.
‘”You’re not going to achive anything in this life”. Okay.
”You’re fucking useless I’m so tired of you.” I’m sorry.
“I’m just worried about you and your future.” Hell no if you cared you wouldn’t say things that always let me down.
I’m just so t i r e d.
I agree with my mother, I know that I’m useless and […]
Right now, I really don’t see the reason for trying or for talking or for breathing. I’m just done. I’m tired of being not pretty enough. I’m tired of not being not skinny enough. I’m tired of not being perfect enough. I’m tired of being pushed around and being called those nasty names. I’m tired of not being good enough. And mostly, I’m tired of being tired. I don’t know why everybody hates me, or maybe I do because now I hate me too. I look at the mirror everyday and I cant look at that ugly looking piece of shit in the mirror. My “friends” […]
“When you’re chewing on life’s gristle don’t grumble, give a whistle..”
“Life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it..”
So before I start talking, I guess I’ll say a small bit about my self. I’m 15, a freshman in high school, going toward sophomore after the summer goes by like always. I’ll keep my name anon. though.
But anyways, I’ve been depressed. As a child I had a abusive father, my mother could never do anything about him hitting me or my siblings. He used to come home drunk, pretty much rape my mother and rampage when thing didn’t go his way. My brother used to touch me as a child, him being gay. I’ve never told my mother, I just forgotten about it and […]
The title says it all. I can’t please anyone, no one really loves me, no one cares. I’m just a selfish, worthless piece of shit of a bastard with no brain. I also must pretend to be someone I’m not and it’s pure torture. I’ve been bullied and due to my chronic stress, the bullying I used to ignore is now haunting me, taunting me. I lock my feelings deep down and hide it with a smile but I’m so dead inside. Now I am considered mute and heartless. Yes, I don’t know how to love anymore. Therefore I do not deserve to live another moment, […]
i want to die soooo bad, i think about it all the time now. i’ve been thinking about shooting myself in the head, i’ll put the gun in my mouth to make sure i dont survive. yep, thats how i want to die, i have officially chosen my exit plan. im not sure on when im going to do it, but its probably going to be soon. hopefully before anyone suspects me of being suicidal again. right now, everyone thinks im fine, that im doing great, but on the inside, im despising every single minute of living. i have gotten used to being suicidal for […]
for a very very long time i have felt distanced from my family from people from life. i mean eight grade was the darkest time of my life… i faked my way out of a suicide/depression test so i could get out of therapy convinced i didnt have a problem i would never do anything its all words and words dont mean anything. but words mean alot and words can hurt a lot. for as long as i cna remember i have been pushed away by my parents. they have no love for me. i have two younger sisters who absorb all their attention and […]
I’m a piece of shit. I talked to an ex boyfriend via text for a month and didn’t tell my husband. He found out and now he has moved out to straighten things out in his head. He says he wants to work on getting back together but I can’t stand the pain of him being gone. Of him not holding or kissing me. It hurts and all I want to do is die. I have no one to talk to and I feel hopeless I don’t know what to do. It hurts so bad I just want to take a bottle of Ativan and […]
I came from a unforunate upbringing. Suffice to say, there was lots of weird stuff that is crimminal and will follow me until the day that I die. I put up a shell that protected me. When I moved out of the house at 18 I lived alone. I worked alone. At this time I was morbidly obese. I overcame that addition. Got in shape. Enlisted in the reserves. Finished my B.Sc. and now find my self in Law School. It took me 12 years of my life to get to be a freshman law school student. 4 years ago I met a girl. Despite […]
It seems that ever since I found out that my only love is expecting a child i’ve changed.
It was as if my heart had been poisoned..I thought it would surely kill me at first, the first week and a half that I spent crying, moaning, and begging for my life to be ended.
I’d even go out for walks late at night and hope someone would cause me harm. Kill me and leave my body in the gator infested swamps that someone or something may stand to gain from my life.
Pain so deep that it turned my heart black and my blood like tar. […]
My dad told me in the car the other day that I was going to hell.
I ate at a Chinese buffet and got a fortune cookie that said, “accept yourself.” I thought if I have already, then I’m a worthless piece of shit that no one wants. I’m invisible to most, but those who see me are disgusted and try to get rid of me, one permanently. They really shouldn’t waste their time, I’ll do it myself eventually. So, they just leave. If I haven’t accepted myself, I’m sure when I do I’ll kill myself realizing I’m worse than I think.
I can’t do this for […]
damnit. IDK where to start. so much is racing through my head right now. im completely fucked. It’s unreal how horrible things can become. So, I have this stupid belief that, yeah, i want to die, but it could be the last thing I ever do (assuming in death there is no afterlife…just in case) and it will only happen for real once… I want to FEEL it. None of the gun to the head crap (besides, you could always end up brain dead which is worse than life itself…[although, someone i once knew shot himself in the heart… i think that takes guts]) but anyways this […]
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