Hello SP –
Looking for your help with a small project.
I need to know about any confirmed departed fellow members you can share.
I am putting together a tribute video (or trying to at this point) and would greatly appreciate your kind assistance.
Their member name is enough. I’ll search the site for their posts and quote highlights from their words.
Thank You!
HERE4UOK
I was wondering if there was anyone who can relate to this:
You’d think that after so much shit in this world, and the major issues that piss you off, that the little things don’t matter anymore.
But for me its the opposite:
I get pissed off and angrier or sadder if sudden tinier obstacles come along my way.
Which I don’t expect at all. I mean, larger issues bother me to no end, but you’d think that after a while we build a tolerance to these larger problems and we become oblivious to the tinier things But nope, the smaller issues become the most frustrating, at this point.
Tell me […]
Oh, I have reached my boiling point. My mood is so damn dynamic, yet it never graces a joyful moment or happiness in any capacity. I can mildly entertain myself, but it’s coupled with an anhedonia that leaves me feeling bland and unnatural. I am sick of my meds, seems they only worked for roughly a week, and due to diminished returns eventually my brain chemistry adapted leaving me with raw shitty emotions. I get endless anger; I am a ball of nerves. I desperately want stability, yet every damned minute my mood fluctuates. So exhausted right now.
What do you do to get yourselves out of […]
I’m not sure I’ll ever get over my self-esteem issues, which is to be expected, I suppose. But in the midst of being undecided about whether to continue hanging on, and trying, or just peacing out (am err’ing on the side of ‘choose life’), I also don’t think it’s fair to subject anyone else to it.
I’m just so amazingly insecure sometimes. Some days, I feel okay, as if I can cope and function. And then I lapse again.
I can’t even watch porn or enjoy fapping, without thinking about the guy I like having sex with somebody else. It’s not that I see other people as […]
I’ve been sleeping through the past few weeks since the new semester began. Last semester i slept through the last 2 months of term and i scraped through my exams, but since then i just dont have the energy or the discipline to work. And it’s kind of funny because what happens to those of us who don’t want to work? Do we just go homeless and starve on the streets? If it comes to that, i’ll make a point of dying on my own, out of the way, in the wilderness somewhere.
Every time i feel this complete and utter lack of hope, a level […]
My mum is accusing me of making everything up. This isn’t the first time. She used to say this about my depression. Then my anxiety. Then when I first started hearing and seeing things. And now again. I told her weeks ago when she found out about the Angels that I haven’t told anyone because not only do I not know if they’re Others, but I was scared no one would believe me. And now she says this. Apparently it’s too much for her to handle and she wants to walk out on me. It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to almost hate […]
I am sad. So sad. I am so sad to the point where the prettiest things feels the ugliest. Where the most vivid images in life seems the most dark. Where the joy feels like sadness, and the excitement feels like fear. I am sad. Sad to the point where when happiness is present, it is enveloped entirely by a deep sadness.
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As mentioned yesterday on a post, I got the opportunity to attend a concert with performers, dancers, and motivational speakers today.
When everyone else enjoyed themselves during the break, I locked myself in the bathroom and cut myself.
When everyone found happiness and joy throughout the […]
really bring out the darkness inside me. I try so fucken hard to excel to be a better person in spite of all the fucked up things that are my life. I try to be more understanding, forgiving, helpful, kind but GOD WTF is the point?!!!! People abuse the fuck out of that!!! WHY!??? I’m tired of trying to be the exception of trying to be one of the good people left but it is truly exhausting and hard and I want to give in. Seriously fuck it I’ll just be a selfish asshole like everyone else in the world. I have feelings for someone […]
At this point in my life, I feel like I’m just overwhelmed with sadness. It’s genuinely at a point where I feel like I’m going to cry all the time because I’m just so intensely sad. All the joy of life has been beaten out of me inch by inch over my 41 years.
But it’s hit me really hard recently. My best friend was just dumped by her husband of 10 years for a younger woman, so I’ve been doing what a friend does and being there as much as possible for her. But part of her initial and possibly unhealthy reaction to this has […]
Iv really had enough now I hate waking up everyday I’m not living life im just surviving each day and that’s a battle life isn’t for everyone and I’m one of them people life will carry on if im here or not so what’s the point the world is a horrible place let alone feeling lonely depressed anxious need to build up the courage to try again
I’ve been having more suicidal thoughts than usual lately, and I’ve actually been thinking of ways I would want to go if I ever decide to off myself. Cutting isn’t an option; I’m too scared to harm myself, plus that would be extremely painful and messy. Hanging myself is off the table too, since I’d probably never work up enough nerve. My thoughts have been drifting towards drowning more often than not. I think that would be the best way to go for me. Although, I am terrified of the ocean/any body of water, I think I could make an exception. It would be easier […]
I really can’t take much more of this what’s the point we all end up in the same place anyways one way or the other not everyone’s story is happy think iv known for a wile my story don’t end well I guess it’s only a matter of time really
no one cares whats the point i cant do this anymore
God dealt me the shit hand really I didn’t asked to be born a fuck up iv come to terms with the first born child is always really a mistake having to stumble though life trying to find your purpose or meaning then you have all the life experience that mess you up and make you self harm depressed and anxious about everything then the doctors want to give you meds just to keep you on a level or think they can fix you but can you really fix something that was broken to begin with don’t see the point in the struggle anymore I feel […]
I am always sad for no reason. I cry myself to sleep alone in my room. I write poems on wattpad how I feel about the world. I always wonder why I’m still living, it’s for people I care about my mom, my friends. My friends don’t give a damn about me but I still love them. I can’t look in the mirror without insulting myself. I literally have no point in this messed up world. It is the ugliest place I’ve ever been. I have lost my sanity that I have made a finger puppet to talk to. Afew days later I stopped talking […]
I thought you might like to see my old point shoes, (dead) I never used these as I switched over to Bloch and I find Bloch is a much more superior pointe shoe than these. But as you can see, the ribbons are gone off these along with the elastics. I didn’t put on toe pads so it’s just bone one packed leather here. LOL I do not suggest that by the way. These how ever have a traditional rounded box and high vamp, my newer ones have a broad box mid vamps with a soft shank. The ones in the picture have a hard […]
Okay, so maybe this is a bit unfair of me to ask at this moment in time…..as I haven’t never posted till tonight. BUT:
Have any of you ever really felt numb? I thought I had and I had to some rearguards….however tonight and as of this week, I realize something more.
And pls forgive me ahead of time, I have been drinking, but this is something I have found this past week…and I am sitting here…still waiting for my CHURRO!!! As if anyone can hear me, while the band is playing loud and I have turned down several offers of dances….I should probably take someone up […]
That i don’t actually need. But im useless. I’ll never have a meaningful experience with a woman. Why? Part anxiety. Part social ineptitude, mostly consistent negative reinforcement. I am simply not attractive enough. When i did approach women i had to consistently risk and have panic attacks for the opportunity to put a lot of effort into someone who didnt give a quarter of a squirt of piss about me. Id get lied to or disparangingly “accepted” Occasionally id get a one off pity lay. The fuck could possibly the point. I’ve been working out for about a month and trying to diet. The fuck […]
Where to start, well, it’s pretty clear that 90% of my turmoil is the result of an abusive marriage I want out of. I’m here of my own accord though, I’ve chosen this sacrifice, this suffering, because reasons.
I’ve also come to realize, in some strange way.. I sought this. In some sickening way, I’m comfortable being depressed. I feel as though, I pursued someone to hurt me, to justify feeling so hurt.
I’ve been on here roughly a week. A common theme I see, is people just wanting someone, anyone. It makes me Stockholm myself, as if taking this beating is better than being alone. Especially […]
I went to visit someone that has been helping my mom. My mother respects this woman very much, because she sais she had been feeling a lot better ever since she’s been talking with her. So I made an appointment and I told this woman about my situation, she said a few things that sounded reasonable but at some point, while I was talking, she stoped me and told me I have been a cheap w*hor*e all this time, she said that it is what I am, that even if I was doing it without concious, all the same that was what I am behaving […]
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