Where do I start? lets take today, worked for a promotion for 3 yrs, today rejected at the final hurdle, im just distroyed, my life has just been 1 rejection after another. To the outside world im a normal guy with a decent job providing a decent life for my wife and 2yr year old. But inside im in a world of hurt and pain, my parents have always been cold towards me and that had a serious affect on me, I was abused sexually by my older cousin, and because of the coldness towards me was never able to tell anyone, I blamed myself, I was […]
Tag:
Rejection
I’m listening to a song as I work on my project. I do 3D modelling for personal release even if it isn’t comeplete. I’ve been working on an eye since eyes are another thing I’ve drawn well that hasn’t stopped. Eyes see everything even what they brain doesn’t process. Pain, happniess, sadness, weakness, strength joy, it see the world and what you see is reflected in them when the camera captures you in a freeze.
My eyes see the blurr frm tears that won’t fall. I’m still doing anything to distract myself because I have no real hope anymore. Just a passive motion. I’m […]
They say you are shaped by the bad experiences. That what does not kill you makes you stronger. That all good things come to those who wait. Don’t wait for good things to come you must fight to get what you want. Travel the path less trodden. There is a fork in the road. A narrow path, and a wide winding path. Choose the most exciting.
I have heard so many contridictating sayings in my life that it can make one explode with uncertainty. But that’s where my experiences come in.
I’ve trodden forward before. I’ve survived bullying, teasing, physical abuse from peers. Verbal abuse from my […]
I am 23 years old. Â I have Depression and Schizophrenia and every day almost everyday I argue with my parents complaining about rejection (social and girlfriend). I am on medicine and I feel like the medicine does not work. I think about rejection and wanting a girlfriend or wife and my parents keep telling me otherwise. I don’t agree with them. I NEED ONE to survive. I need love. Back in my school years no girl would date me and to this date I have never had a girlfriend which I desperately need. Â Everyday keeps getting worse not better. Â I should have never been born […]
It’s true: hurt people hurt people. I’ve never walked around rejecting others while genuinely in a happy state. On the other hand, when I hurt, I hurt those around me; not always intentionally or maliciously. It’s more of a”too stuck in my head to deal with anyone else” kind of hurting. Sometimes, it manifests itself in the form of quickly rejecting the presence of those around me so I can not-soon-enough resume my isolation. The chiming in of anyone else is dismissed as nothing short of a threatening disturbance.
I normally stave off the constant “get me out of here” feeling through substances or the validating […]
The unfairness of life has become unbearable, and so I need to end it.Â
My beautiful mother became ill, bed ridden for 7 years. The routine for taking care of her, was to clean her, feed her, even wiped her soil, everyday for 7 years. I was a 12 year old girl when it started. Then when I turned 15, I worked as a janitor just to put food on the table and buy medicines, hopeful that she would get better. But she didn’t, and died a withered shell of a person. Then, my father became ill too. The same thing happened for another 7 years. […]
When I was still in Korea  for the exchange student program, that was the time that I was so down and determined to kill myself. However, I realized that i can’t die in a foreign country.  So I just let it pass and hoping that things will get better for myself and that I want to see my friends and family too when I get back. I actually sort of planned everything when I was still there; I’ll get a job or find something that won’t me make rely on anyone financially. I was really positive about this plan because I thought since I felt […]
I am constantly changing, going to and throw to and throw from a bad place and maybe an
overly good good, does that sound like bipolar to you? I am sick of having nobody understand me and not being a part of something, my friends dont really know me, well one of them kinda does but mostly ive just been trapped inside with my personality unable to show, Its Like ive been a big balloon full of something expanding and expanding about to explode. Ive talked about good and fighting for the good but I do fall down and this is one of those moments! […]
The pain inside just grows and grows,
My pulse, my mind, my life just slows,
I shake my fist at the God above,
For placing me in a life without love.
At nine years old raped and molested,
Beaten for years, why was I tested?
Is this a joke, some sick experiment,
To live a life without being loved, no happiness, no merriment.
Bullied and tortured for over ten years,
Locking myself in the bathroom, in fear, fighting tears,
Afraid of the world, fearing my next rejection,
Looking in vain, for some family affection.
And then came the day when my father left home,
Neglecting to tell me, no call to my phone,
He packed up the things he loved, old medals he’d won,
Which […]
for some strange reason, i have a feeling that if i dont get accepted into college, ill end my life. i know its crazy, but, ill just have nothing to look forward to in life. I already have thoughts about killing myself because the way i look and bullying problems, but after thinking about it tonight, if i dont get accepted into college, i dont think i can go on. i already got denied by 3 colleges, all the deadlines are over, i dont want to do community college because i just want to leave, its just a lot of crap built up inside me. […]
I have been struggling with self hatred and poor self esteem for most of my life. It is through a change in friends and family that I have surrounded myself with positive, truly amazing people. I didn’t think life could be lived happily. But it can. I used to cut on myself, I used to do drugs and drink, among many other self destructive behaviors. But it was through the death of my mother through which I know was suicide related, even through my family lists it as “undetermined” that a new path has been made for me. I am now a Christian, I am […]
they say im in “la-la land.” i like it here, nobody’s mean to me. am i the happy girl everyone thinks i am? or is that just a shell that covers whats really there. do they think i dont care about not having friends? they could never be more wrong. if anyone knew i was really a depressed, suicidal, freak, than the rejection would be so much worse. i would love to kill myself and see if anyone noticed. even if they did, they wouldnt care. nobody cares. my whole life feels numb. i never really thought of myself as a cutter. i guess i […]
I thought I knew my husband, but it’s clear I don’t have a freaking clue who he is. We’ve been together 10 years, married 9 and I don’t know this man. He’s been keeping secrets, and I think probably has from the beginning.
A bit of background, mainly for me…I’m trying to makes sense of nonsense. He’s from Nigeria, a doctor, I’m white from the US and a nurse. We got set up on a blind date. Married 5 months later. Me stupidly thinking he loved me. Almost immediately he takes a trip to Nigeria, for over a month, over the next 4 years he probably […]
Hey guys, been off this site for awhile, i was actually pretty proud of myself, been over 2 months since i have self hurt, or contemplated suicide. that was quickly overturned a few days ago, when i learned i was going to a school, a school that contains a girl that used and abused me. she was supposed to be my best friend, and be there for me, i hadn’t had friends in so long, or really ever for that matter, and she was there for me, hung out with me, and made me feel good. but in all this joy, there were tiny red flags that […]
I’m a twenty year old in college… and there’s a lot that’s happened in the past few years that has made me question life in its entirety. Prior to my senior year in high school, my father was diagnosed with lung and esophagus cancer. It was a difficult struggle to see the dramatic changes my life took in terms of my family, friends, and my responsibilities. I took it upon myself to acquire a job and help with the family. I fought and struggled and did my best to help with the family in hopes that my father would get better. […]
The simplified version is just that i hate myself. I hate myself completely with no room for positive. I’ve tried going to get help, but i end up shutting them out. I am a despicable human being. With no purpose in life. I’m not contributing anything to this planet, my family, or anyone else’s life. I can’t look in the mirror anymore. I have no friends because i don’t and wont trust anybody. I’ve never known love only rejection. I only seem to piss people off when I am around. It seems to me that everyones’ life that i have come in contact with would […]
Older Posts