Sometimes I can no longer cope with anxiety and dark images/feelings in my head so I hurt myself, I waste time, I waste opportunities, I waste myself. I once was a rather clever child but now I am stupid distracted and numbed by all my fears. An ancient monster from the past, doing really dirty things. But I’m afraid of making him human so I did’nt ask for his name. My mother want this story to be burried and forgotten but I don’t no what to do. I hate him and I hate myself at the same time, and I wish he could fall and […]
Tag:
Revenge
Its funny how ones mood can get better so fast for a moement. I went on a trip to a water park yesterday with my sister and a few friends. Found out from one of my friends that my recent ex tried to sabotage me publicly and his planned backfired on him badly…. Just because I spoke about the bullshit hes done to me behind my back on social media. I havent felt so good in a long time. XD
Now off to work for the next 6 days off the day after then traveling for 2 days after that.
Hello readers, I’m just your other ‘regular’ near-suicidal person…
Just like any other people who wants to die, my life isn’t really sunshine and rainbows hahaha…
I’m not so unfortunate to be an orphan, a slave, or handicapped, and I’m not confident to say ‘My life is the worst’ or ‘I’m the most miserable person on earth’…no, nothing like that…
I began my suicide thoughts when i’m at 5th and 6th grade in elementary school. you know, bullying and family problems ^^… in 6th grade i really tried to kill myself by “ Smoke from burning a BBQ in a sealed room” type of suicide. […]
I feel the need to run away. what do i do among them? its my hatred for them that’s the cause of my decline, i clearly see it now. i play games when exams are near, i don’t do what every sane person would do at critical moments, i deliberately miss opportunities…why? to bring my image down in their eyes, to not become great in front of them..that’s how i take revenge from them! i don’t know if it makes sense. they praised me a lot when i topped my school and got admission in one of the best colleges. on the surface i liked […]
Im not sure if this is the one that shows up in the homepage
I fuckinfg hate everybody I hate where im from My poor dad got accused of a crime(sex offender) and I had to see him walk around with this fucked up look on his face for fucking years,till we moved from our old house, they even fucked up his truck the back of it sctartchted it up…He kept the same job for years. There was always this white van parked in front of my house I don’t know if someone parked it there on purpose,but I didn’t realize people ‘knew about my dad’ […]
I think, and think, and think.
Am i really worth it?
The one I love will never love me back, he loves my best friend who I now uses me, she doesn’t love him back and teases him but he stays her friend and it hurts me to see him, I cry for him, They think its best to leave me alone,but i don’t wanna be alone.
Am I truly worth it?
Im going to starve myself. I’m tired of being fat and ugly, and worthless. I just want somebody, but they don’t want me.
Am I honestly […]
I’m tired of trying to be like I was before; happy, etc. I just want to take a break for a little while. I’m not going to cut, or at least I’ll try not to, but I’m not going to really be happy either. I think that Trevor doesn’t like me. I’m not using any buts this time. No hope for it. I’m done with him. For real. No crawling back. Thinking back on it, he’s probably at least 25% of why I was so unhappy before. I just don’t care about him. I mean, I don’t even want to think about him. Or any […]
I’m sorry… How royally fucked up is this country, that the same people who allowed me to be raped repeatedly for seven years, to the point I had a child, could have the audacity to look me in the eyes and say they can’t help me? Really?! Do you have any idea how many times I tried to tell people what was happening, only to be called a liar? And now, the bastard draws a disability check for being bipolar (no shit). That’s not a lot of money, but it’s $700 a month while my son and I have NOTHING. His class Easter party […]
I feel…. weird. Almost as if all feeling has been sucked away now. I fake my laughs. My tears just don’t come anymore. When I get hurt, I immediately want to hurt that person back. They put holes in my plan, so I’m going to make them crash and burn. I’m driven by what seems to be revenge, but on what? I can’t figure it out. I only see one way out. Not suicide. Not hurting myself. Trying to get revenge on everything that hurts me. I’ll hurt them back. Apex predators kill without remorse. Humans are Apex predators. I am an Apex predator. Cross […]
I have two older brothers. For now we will just talk about the middle child. My middle brother is an extremely difficult person. Not only that, but mum favours him. Not only does mum favour him by fawning on him like a cute little sad child (which she doesnt do for the rest of us) she will always take his side. I believe that this was because my brother was beaten up once when he was around 6 years old, and was then depressed for a couple of years. Even after that though, he would still use his depression as leverage to get what he […]
Sometimes I wish I’d just die already. I wish that I’d drowned when I was 2, or hit my head on the concrete as an infant like I almost did, but the universe is dead set on watching me suffer. I’ve tried so many different things to try and make it all go away, I tried cutting, it didn’t help, I tried popping tylenol whenever I felt down, and it helped for a while, but it doesn’t anymore. I’ve tried just crying for a long time, it made me feel worse.
I’m only 13, and life has already ended for me. My past is full of the […]
Dear God
I hate you, you’re an asshole. Why am I still alive? You can’t do this to me, this is not fair and you know it. You have millions for torture, why me?  Is this some kind of revenge? This is a mistake and you’re  wrong. Is not fair and you can’t do this, is the worst thing you’ve ever done. Why you didn’t kill me, as you promised? I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
Controlled by a Masked Man By MissCMF
© Copyright November 2012
I can’t control any move, my head gives up soul comes to prove
The voices chant, the pain begins; I know I will never win
Crashing into tables, causing tears, but no one can know of these fear
When people enter I struggle to stop, act like I’m fine when really I’m not
Â
If I told people what’s going on, they’ll think that I’m crazy that I don’t belong
Who has a masked man in their heads, who when takes over makes the real me
The voices he uses are the ones […]
“Son come over here
Daddy’s here you hear?”
“Daddy dont come near”
“Son there’s nothin to fear”
“Daddy, just not in my rear”
“Please son, don’t be queer
Imma let your mother steer
If it’s okay with you dear,
Imma crush this boy with the sheer
Fucking size of my spear”
Now it’s all crystal clear
So they locked him away
Ain’t seen him to this day
They ask but I refuse to say
A goddamn word to that fucking gay
There’s no fucking way
That even for a moment I’d stay
Anywhere near him, okay!?
He deserves to rot in the penitentiary
For the next half […]
I don’t know why I’m even bothering, but what the hell. I’m still here. Still not in the pokey, either, though I suspect I’m running out of time.
I think I’m sticking around just to piss people off. I’m probably just chickenshit.
It dawned on me this morning that if I was someone else looking at my life and my situation, I’d be telling me to fight hell and high water. Even if I lose, I’d still get to take down a few assholes with me. My brother deserves to be in jail for rape. My narcissistic sister needs a serious dose of reality to shatter her […]
How to start,while my hands are shaking and i finally made myself cry after a long time of trying to be strong and keep it all inside me. It sounds like another lame and pathetic story about how misunderstood someone can be. Honestly i had my moments of searching for attention but this time i just want revenge. I promise this will be my last selfish act towards everyone i know. I really wanted to make everything right again but when my own mother says that i am naive and stupid how am i supposed to feel about myself, how i am i supposed to […]
Revenge
Death you say was meant to be
It should happen to me
Pain easy to hide
Cause I lied
Said I was alright
But I cried all night
The words repeating in my head
That’s where this action lead
Gun to the heart
Its action kind of tart
Hands shaking
Body aching
Life is always short
Now I’m in the devils fort
Waiting till I get my revenge
So my life will avenge
Because life is bittersweet
Now your death will be my treat
An overdose on pills sounds nice
That would be an extra spice
Now you’re begging on your knees
This is my moment to seize
Isn’t this […]
You could be empty
And I can be right here empty with you
And you could be
hollow
And I can be right here hollow with you
If you wanna say goodbye
to everything
I could say goodbye, too
And I could be right here empty
with you
I haven’t wasted a thing except my time
Forget the treasures we’ve burned because we’ll be just fine
I try to take off my head sometimes because I can’t escape the memories
I haven’t lost anything except my mind
Dear Anthony…you’ve taken my soul and my will to live.
I will get you back. I was sweet, caring, loving. […]
I was just wondering, about certain people who hurts us so much, never appreciated us, took revenge on us for some reason, never bothered helping us when we’re in need of something, but we never failed helping them for anything, and so on.. would just get all the best things in the world. In fact, i personally felt like I am a loser because I have always been good to everyone, but people who never been good to me are in a good position in life, but I’m not. I heard somewhere saying that we need to do good deeds to become a good person. […]
One of my core problems is that I am extremely vengeful. When sombody does somthing major to hurt me I cannot let go of it until I get revenge for it. I feel like forgiving is weak and defeat, sorry if that is offensive. Anything major that happened even 10 years ago I am still mad about. I really should have gotten my revenge along time ago instead of holding the anger for years. I don’t believe in karma so to me If I don’t get them back they got away with it. And reveng is the onlything I can do now that could possibly […]
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