I miss being a little kid the world was so pretty and I loved life. Now things are not what I expected to be like. I often wonder if I could of fixed it. My life just shattered. My counselor thinks my depression is caused by my past. Maybe it was I’m not sure but I just I want to feel good again not feel so disconnected all the time. I have really bad social anxiety I have no friends I’m alone. I think I like being alone I pushed all of  them away. Yet sometimes I wish I had someone who just understand me. I am […]
I’m not really wanted here at my home, my town, or my school. People even say it to me. Everyone seems to be strait up with me. Like “No one even likes you here, just leave already.” “If you take all of your medication and die no one would even care.” I mean like, I ignore them. But I can see why they don’t like me, I don’t even like me. Haha. I’m ugly, I’m too quiet, I never talk, I’m weird, I stare too much, I try to be smart in school (but get judged for it), my whole life revolves around my dead […]
The doctors just gave me the diagnose schizophrenia. Actually I have suffered from it from since I was 12. I am 19 now.
It makes me sad, becourse I know that it will never go away, and I have to take pills for the rest of my life, and the bad periods will still be here to torment me.
I have found a rope, and have managed myself to tie a hangmans knot on it. Now the big step is to step up on the stool, tie the rope to the waterpipe under the ceiling, put the noose around my thin neck, and kick away the stool. […]
im on risperdol was perscribed it for anxiety fiirst couple daya on it havent noticed significant effects yet ..its used to treat schizophrenia which i think i may have. im hoping it.will take the edge off at.least of my paranoid thoughts.and anxiety.. hasase tried this drug? all my life.id had these abnormal fears and thoughts for example i still am.unable to finish high school do to my social fears. i have one friend who i can barely open up to unless im drunk
i have an alcohol problem already at 18. i am.very sensitive and the smallest comments.can upset . […]
well besides the hallucination part schizophrenia matches me quite to a T. ii am only 18.and ive always been withdrawn, anxious, paranoid confused extremely shy extremely sensitive (i could go on n on) child. i am convinced i maybe schizophrenic which is actuall quite a relief that i have pinpointed the real reason and explanations for my strange thinking and behvior. i feelmuh better about.myself and am.ready to figure this thing out. 🙂
Ugh, God. The past few months have been hell, even with all of the nice comments people’ve put on my posts. I’m stressed out beyond belief, I haven’t slept in 3 days, literally. I haven’t eaten in… fuck, I can’t remember the last time I ate. My dad’s threatened to punch me in the face multiple times, he’s yelled and screamed at me, telling me I’m not good enough. My grades, as hard as I’ve tried, have plummeted. From A’s and B’s last year, to C’s, D’s, and a few F’s. My girlfriend is possibly going to prison, and I could go too. My best […]
I have fought severe depression and schizophrenia for a number of years. I go through bad times and then I can suffer through hell for months to a year or so at a time. As I write this I am in a downer period, voices constantly abuse me and tell me to kill myself and hallucinations frighten the absolute shit out of me to the point where I am screaming for help and crying my eyes out. I have had a number of suicide attempts but have been interrupted because of being on constant suicide watch. I did however have 2 very close attempts, on […]
Hey guys,
Ive only been suicidal for about 2 months now although ive had obsessive thoughts, depression, and anxiety most of my life (im 27 f). It all started for me when i suddenly started having significant perceptual difficulties as well as cognitive (memory) problems along with severe debilitating anxiety and depression. After researching it myself and talking to dr.s I then convinced myself that i must be developing a mental illness or something similar to schizophrenia. The fear has taken over my life and the idea of having a psychotic mental illness is something that i couldnt live with so although i havent full blown developed it yet i feel […]
For some strange reason, all ive thought about today is my mom. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia about 6 years ago, and since then, she hasnt been the same. She functions fairly normally, but she seems sad a lot. She gets happy, but it dissapears really fast. I worry about her a lot because she doesnt eat a lot and shes extremely OCD about her food. We cant go near her while shes eating or she wont eat her food. She rarely eats everything she makes and always gives the remainder of her food away. Shes always extremely stressed. When shes mad or upset she […]
The author’s son, Michael, took his own life in 1969 at the age of 26, after a nearly decade-long struggle with some vaguely defined mental illness. Some of his psychiatrists (referred to not by name but by the appellation “Dr. First” “Dr. Second” “Dr. Third” etc. — there were eight), called it schizophrenia. It looks more like schizoaffective disorder or bipolar to me, but who knows. The point is, in spite of various different kinds of […]
Hi,
I`m male, 29. I suffer from Schizophrenia(the doctors say). In general, I fear that people around me is not there voluntarily, like they`re sort of reading of a note, and doing what their told(by force one might say). Which is a big problem when it comes to women. Some things between man and woman are pretty bad when they happen by force(you know what I`m aiming at).
I hear a lot of voices which tense me to the point of wanting to crush my skull against the wall(I sort of get a release by visualizing it, wich is pretty violent imagery, and sort of weird, lol). […]
So today is the 30.07.12, and today I have given myself one year too think it over, to plan it and too decide if  it’s truly what I want.
My boyfriend, he left me today. He has no answer, he won’t even talk too me. Fact is I was very reliant on him.
I just can’t cope, and I can’t live like this. So one year today I will decided whether to kill myself or not.
As a child, I was sexually abused  by three girls, and one guy. I was physically and mentally abused by my sister. I was tormented and at age 11 I started too […]
I am 23 years old. Â I have Depression and Schizophrenia and every day almost everyday I argue with my parents complaining about rejection (social and girlfriend). I am on medicine and I feel like the medicine does not work. I think about rejection and wanting a girlfriend or wife and my parents keep telling me otherwise. I don’t agree with them. I NEED ONE to survive. I need love. Back in my school years no girl would date me and to this date I have never had a girlfriend which I desperately need. Â Everyday keeps getting worse not better. Â I should have never been born […]
I have been through a lot – bullying, attempted murder, attempted rape, none-curable illness etc.. Each time I have escaped with my life, I have found inner strength and saved myself from suicide countless times. Each time I think to myself ‘things will get better’.. But I have yet to see any kind of manifestation of luck.
I am mentally ill. I have suffered with hallucinations, delusions and thought disorder for over a decade. The last year has been particularly hard following a fellow human being physically harming me.
I crumbled and asked for help for the first time ever in January, though I found the process humiliating I was […]
Of those victims that have been sex-abused, the thought of your own body just piece of meat.
Wishing to die, trying your best to detach mind from what that is, a body of filth but with worth to ravish.
Body that young is then out finding guys to ascertain if still a value left there of that pathetic meat, but all that to be found will just be disappointing, if not inviting downrightly another force-entry.
Being young should be fun enjoying school years innocently, but often have to find being called sluts.
As if already there an atmosphere of lust (if not gloomy) stamped on the […]
I’ve been through a ton of things lately, right now I’m really depressed and I just wanna throw it out there since no one else will listen, I fucking hate where I’m at and I want to go back home I’m on the east side of the country and I belong on the west. Not gang related, just two different sides of the World and I belong on one, not in between, not on the East, but on the West. I messed up, I did drugs, I disrespected myself I disrespected the people I lived with when I lived in the West. I became manic […]
This POST is intended to shed some light on the feeling of not belonging to this world/being part of it. If you have a mental illness such as bipolar or schizophrenia please take your medication(s).
When I was 16 I tried to commit suicide if I would have succeeded I would not have known the beauty of seeing each one of my girls birth or watching them grow; Not known what it would have felt like to fall in-love nor see how great of a career I would have. I tried to get rid of myself simply because I did not belong.
After the incident I visited […]
I learned this recently. The story is very confusing. Are you ready?
This is who I thought I was: a severely schizophrenic German boy, who was severely abused as a child, alongside his twin sister. He has a boyfriend, who also has a twin. He is in Foster care.
Who I really am: a Canadian girl, less severely abused, with no twin, no boyfriend, and no Foster care.
What happened: I have multiple personalities. I suppose I’m transgender, because all the personalities are male. I am also schizophrenic, though not as badly as previously thought. The original personality, the female birthed 18 years ago next week, is gone. […]
Not really sure how to start this post or how to talk about this, i guess the comfort is in that nobody knows me.  I’m at a dead end , im only the good person i think i am.  I have so much hate in me im almost misanthropic , but i love company , but at the same time i hate it.  My life has been ok , ive traveled places i have people in my life, my sister and mother and some friends.  But i have come to the stage where i just don’t want to deal with living anymore,  i have suffered from being empty for a long time , the doctors […]
I know what you’re thinking… “I’m going to tell this depressed person, either to contact professional medical help, call mom dad family or friend, just don’t do it because all life should be valued.”
Please don’t tell me this again. I’ve been to countless therapists over the course of my entire life so far. All I want is for someone to understand why I would want to kill myself, not just make me feel stupid for wanting to, or telling me that God has all the answers, or make me feel bad for being selfish that I want to kill myself. I just want someone to […]