I have been feeling the icy tendrils of depression wrapping around my ankles for a few weeks now. The mist of bored distress have filled my mind. I can’t concentrate on school… This is not good. I am finding it more difficult to stay positive and use my healthy coping skills. In my head it sounds like a screaming saw “Cut, cut, cut” and I can only visualize the plethora of methods to take my life. I jumped off an overpass once… Broke my leg… Obviously it didn’t kill me. Now I know better. I am afraid of those hesitation marks. The ones that hurt. […]
I think the fact that I been cutting on an unusual amount recently has finally got me. I finally talked to both of my parents they’re both telling me to come home which I’m starting to think they’re right I’ve only been here 1 month the Amount have a Damage made to myself is too much . I think I’m actually might have left a scar so I I haven’t left a scar since I was 17 years old .when I left the the first letter of the words garbage worthless dirt selfish junk and I should kill myself .I seen yesterday those letters are […]
Words cannot describe how much appreciation I feel for the feedback on my last post. It almost left me in a pool of tears. A very big thank you to those who left those comments! I really doubted myself a lot with my artistic skills almost to the point were I stopped. Drawing is all the talent I have left and I almost lost it because I mope around wondering if I’ll get anywhere in my life. Seeing your comments inspired me to peruse my talent, to get me up off my lazy a**. You have my thanks and gratitude. I wish I could have […]
Some people embrace responsibilities and challenges. I avoid them.
Most people spend their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s advancing their careers and/or raising a family. I’m 30 and have no interest in either. I have friends now but I wonder how many of them I’ll still have in ten years when they’ve all “moved on.”
I was so well suited to the school environment where things were highly structured and most work was individual, but so ill suited to the real world where things are less structured and uncertain and most work is done with other people.
I completely lack basic life skills like cooking and fixing things, nor do […]
Im so alone i have no friends at all not even online friends, ive had some online friends but that was a while ago. I cant remember the last time ive connected to anyone irl. I dont have very good social skills irl and im fucking shy as hell. Ive been in school since oct and have not made a single friend. I miss those 1 to 1 human interactions its so hard to go on everyday
I am planning to move
to England in 3 months and start to work there. I want to save a big amount of money to take a makeup course. Makeup is what I am truly interested in, it’s a beautiful art to me and I have the skills to it. This is my future plan. Oh, and a tattoo on my wrist to cover my scars. The little beads will be torquoise and the bigger one will be poison green.
Time has come. The moment when I feel like my ressources are becoming too thin to help me deal with the damages caused by a series of traumas that happened for seven years, leaving me with sole compagny our dear friend depression and collateral damages for over ten lovely springs. The urge to kill myself has been within me for so long that it shaped my life, my personnality and most certainly my abailities. Nethertheless, there are people I love and who care about me so I cannot make the jump as I think is the case for many other peeps around here. This attachement […]
I think I plan to go by May. The month I’m supposed to graduate. See, I was to kill myself January 9th (my birthday) I had the right method to make sure I don’t actually wake back up, but I didn’t have the right place. And I couldn’t do it at home because I don’t want my mom seeing my lifeless body. But in May, I’ll have a place.
I was supposed to graduate college this year but I had to dropout due to academic probation. My grades dropped really bad, to the point where I just ended up failing all my classes. I don’t […]
At this point I feel like I’m just seeing how many days I can survive until I finally decide to kill myself.
I’ve tried so many things over the years..meds, in-patient, therapy, groups, coping skills. I’m not better and now I’m still in horrible withdrawal from medications, too. I’m still in post-acute withdrawal after 9 months off all meds and I’m still a shitty person. I’m trying so hard to change, but you cannot take back the past. I hate myself and I hate life.
Why does somebody else (your parents) get to decide that you exist, but then it’s your responsibility to function and do well […]
I’m not saying my life experience was the worst, but at this point I feel there is no point in staying around. Side note:My maternal uncle committed suicide, my paternal grandmother’s sister committed suicide, and my paternal grandfather died from alcoholism related issues. I feel like my family is a family who tries to be perfect, but hides many secrets because it seems like I’m outwardly the only screw up. I have struggled with anxiety my whole life. I’ve always been terrified of everything. Often had insane temper tantrums. I don’t remember exactly how young I was when I first went to therapy, but I was young.. […]
For the past couple of months I’ve been contemplating what my next move should be. “Should I try to fix my life, or should I say fuck it and end it?” I’m still not sure what the best choice is, they both have their pros and cons. I think I’ll attempt to fix it in the next coming months. I’ll try to get a GED and I’ll put all of my effort into it. If I manage to fail then I’m done. That’s it. I’m not giving myself more than one chance to fix everything. I’ve already wasted too much time being nothing. Even if […]
whenever i try to connect with someone i fail. i don’t know why i even try. then i get pissed off, either at the other person, or myself.
people bore me or intimidate me.
either way, i end up questioning myself because i don’t know why i find it so hard to relate to people.
i’m sick of people telling me i should change though.
a psychologist i saw lately told me i need to work on my communication skills, but it’s frustrating because i am who i am. i can try to change for the better, sure, but what if it’s genetic and i’m just legitimately stupid? i can’t do […]
Have you ever heard of feral children???
Feral children are those who have been adopted and raised by animals, which means even if they are brought back to societythey will always been impaired people why?
“Feral children lack the basic social skills that are normally learned in the process of enculturation. For example, they may be unable to learn to use a toilet, have trouble learning to walk upright after walking on fours all their life, and display a complete lack of interest in the human activity around them. They often seem mentally impaired and have almost insurmountable trouble learning a human language. The impaired ability to […]
I lost my job of almost twenty years today. I don’t have a degree, any skills, a really low IQ, and health problems. I made a pact with myself a long time ago that if this happened, it would be the last straw. I would need to stop being a baby and take my own life. People have been reaching out to me lately, but good people never consider maybe this person had plenty of chances and fucked them all up. Maybe it’s time to admit that I’m a mistake and stop burdening the world. Those people will get over it if I go. They’ll […]
Today at work I started to really feel bottomless sad, and the desire to end my life became once again overwhelming. But because of that recent lovely moment with my son, I actually had enough sense to not let myself sink further, but call my psychologist. Quite by miracle I got an appointment that very afternoon, due to a last minute cancellation. Usually the wait list is weeks long, unless it’s an absolute emergency. I take that as a good omen. And she is wonderful. I’ve been seeing her for years now, and she’s one of the major reasons I’m still alive.
Im just in my […]
This week was total darkness for me. .. Strugling alone. Every body i ask for help just turn there back on me. Now if you know me you will know i ask a question like how are you? and if you react badly like not so good etc. In withdrawal totaly…
2 days ago I did another search on ( yes call it lame) how to die.. F*¢k its difficult to die…
When I saw the post on coping skills from dawg. If he can over come it so can I.. Still have no way out or no reason to see hope, but I do […]
Hello everyone. I am new to this site. I wanted to share my views on suicide, as I feel very uncomfortable discussing this kind of thing with people I know in real life. I don’t want them to worry about me. I also don’t want them to try preventing anything that might prevent me from doing the ultimate deed. I felt I needed to at least share some of my views with others, so here I am now.
I guess I should tell a bit about myself. I am a 23-year old male nihilist, that is someone who believes there to be no inherent objective value […]
I was born to fail. I have no qualifications. I have no future. Time to kill myself now. Doesn’t it? I’m 19 and I have no idea about my life and I have no skills too. Maybe I was born by a mistake. Achieved nothing during my lifetime. Help me if you can. Thanks for reading. Hard to breath. Holding so much pain inside me. No, still I’m not crying. Holding this pain for 1 year now. 🙁 ON THE FENCE
It’s safe to say I’ve fucked up my life pretty thoroughly. To the point where it feels like there’s no way back. This is who I am. It’s not some temporary blip. It’s a consistent reflection of my thoughts and feelings.
I’m so far outside normal human life that it’s scary. I turned 28 last week, but a large part of my thinking and behaviour is still trapped in childhood. And I can’t see any way to catch up now. I can fake a degree of social confidence for a while, but it’s easy to see through. I haven’t developed any of the skills that most […]
My Life has devolved to jerking off and working shitty Job I don’t like. I have lost interest in everyone and everything I hold dear. I am lonely, my lack of social skills precluded any chances of ever getting into a relationship. I had started a relationship with some girl but we separated because of my unenthusiastic depressed ass. I see her pics and she’s pretty thick now, I missed all that, she had charm too and everything I’d always wanted in a Women.
I’m generally a fucking mess. Anybody watched Phillip Seymour in the film Happiness? Yeah that’s me. My fucking life sucks. Fleeting thoughts […]
Newer Posts