I dont think anyone can hate me just as much as i hate myself . ive been rejected so many times for so long i honestly end laughing at myself because idk why im putting up with . i dont even know why i continue to look live with depression . someone that is alone like myself will never beat depression or ever find someone to care about me. Sometimes i just sit and imagine to myself how my life would be if i wasnt alone depressed or being with someone special to me but reality is always outside of my mind .im finally […]
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It all started with an urge to play the ouija board.So three days ago I started reading stories about playing with the board & that’s when It started.It started off with a scary dream but that’s It till today.I was smoking some fake weed & then I started choking on my tongue piercing.This happens often but this time It felt different.An hour later me & my friend are driving & smoking.Suddenly I started to trip out.I promise you Its not cause of the fake weed.It felt like someone,something was trying to possess me.Its like I was there but then It felt like I left my […]
As soon as I leave my place the world is against me. I can’t take it anymore. Stigma of mental illness and suffering. I am still six years old and highly sensitive. I long for a family and someone to care, who is there anymore. What is the best way to go home, I ask myself.
I’ve got to find a way to be ok, and I cannot.
I can’t breathe through this heaviness on my chest
I need to talk to someone and know that I’ll be missed
You’ve probably blocked my number again
But your words were my only comfort back then
I’m tired and I’m lonely and hate the way it feels
This sense of self loathing is how my heart kills
My own blood is my poison of choice
The pounding in my ears drowns out the noise
I was trying so hard to make this half a whole
But my pain is overwhelming and I’ve lost control
I posted my story here yesterday. Someone asked me if I had ever gotten help from a mental health professional.
I have not. Honestly I’m scared. Not only of what everyone in my life will say, but about the process itself. I do not want to just be pumped full of anti-depressants and spend an hour each week talking about what makes me sad. I am also terrified of being admitted to a mental ward.
Is there anyone on here who has been to therapy/gotten mental help and would be willing to share what it’s like?
i hate asking people for help. I hate being a burden. I hate being the first to text. But i do all of those things anyways cause i cant help it and its better than being alone. My best friend is becoming a stranger. I just feel as though on a daily basis nobody at all cares. Its hard to live like this. Ive never attempted to take my life but ive thought about it more than you can imagine. Sometimes i almost have the courage to attempt but have never gone through with it yet. keyword yet. So, I just wish there was someone […]
I am a big believer in doing what makes you happy. I am the person that all of their friends go to to vent and i am the shoulder that everybody cries on. it is a great feeling, helping someone else but it is no too fun when you need a shoulder to cry on and absolutely no one is there for you, or they pretend to care. So, doing what makes you happy is difficult when you don’t have anything that makes you happy. Yeah, things are temporary but nothing seems to be long term. How can someone have hope that they will have […]
I don’t mean shit in this world. Being trans is only for the skinny and straight ones who will quickly change and pass and be accepted by women. Someone fat and ugly like me will always be judged by what’s on the outside and never have a chance in hell at love with a man. It’s useless for me to be so fat and ugly that no man will give me a chance. Transition or passing won’t change anything because only straight men are into my kind of music and the things I like. I’ve never had a chance in hell being born female and […]
my parents left on a trip and I feel like it’s my time to leave this world
by treefrog
written by treefrog
I’ve never felt so alone in my whole life. I struggle with mental illnesses, one being chronic suicidal ideation. I’ve lost everyone, no one understands me. My parents told me to do it, just not in their house. So I’ve found a place where I won’t disrespect my parents or their home. Just one problem. I have two beautiful, loving, loyal cats who have saved my life on multiple occasions. I don’t know if they’ll ever find a home with someone who loves them more than me. I’m not saying that cuz I think I’m anything special, but they are my very best friends. I […]
I’m just so fucking stuck. No matter what I do, I’m stuck.
A little back story: my abusive boyfriend of a year and a half and I mutually split. It ended on a really, really bad note. I tend to just push it out of my mind and go numb to get over someone, which was working fine with him, until he messaged me again to try to be just friends. He knows shit like this ruins all my progress, every single time. I don’t think he cares anymore, though. I wouldn’t. I think he’s just getting a kick of dragging me along still. I don’t […]
If only I had a gun, I could have pulled the trigger already. That’s how much it hurts to know I can never be loved and will never get to hold or kiss someone who has ahold of my heart. I want to die now.
I woke up quite early today, thought I’d grab the chance to enjoy The Witcher 3.. Turns out I should of slept away half the day instead. I dont know how but my most recent ex came into mind, its been over half a year but still.. Such happy memories, how can I possibly stop comparing what I am now, what I have now, with what I once had… Im over her, but I would like.. this kind of happiness again, with someone else.. anyway I know throughout our lifetime on this miserable planet we have our ups and downs, I’d like an elevator lift […]
Please don’t commit suicide. Talk to someone, it’s not worth it. You can get through it I believe in you guys!
Everyday I go through the motion’s in my life , the will to live is just not in me anymore. Alone, going through depression it seems like the only thing that can get a tiny small smirk on my face seems to be when I try to think about what if I was happy ,what if I had that someone special in my life, what if I was special to someone else or I was needed but I get mad at myself for even thinking that fit giving myself false hope that just doesn’t exist. I bottle my emotions in until night time where my […]
Im not being abused or anything terrible like some people are. So why am I so tired and it’s hard to get up out of bed in the morning because it’s hard.. It really is.. Every day looking in the mirror and seeing something I really hate.. Maybe I’ll get prettier in the future… No .. I don’t see any boys busting down the for me.. My sister constantly tells me I’m ugly… And the terrible thing is she’s right… I hope someone comes on this site and reads my post and it makes a difference in their life.. Sometimes I cut my arms legs […]
ob·ses·sion
?b?seSH?n/
noun
the state of being obsessed with someone or something.
“she cared for him with a devotion bordering on obsession”
an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind.
plural noun: obsessions
“he was in the grip of an obsession he was powerless to resist”
So my short story is about obsession, not love. It’s kind of poetic, actually, or so I’ve been told. Read more here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qzldTyxHx99uPfQ0Cdt-st5LwKzZ158d21aeP34IC68/edit
It’s weird I usually never even leave my house and when I do and when I get to see people that I used to know I feel so useless. I really didn’t want to go to this family event today but I thought that someone who I actually care about was going to be there. 12 hours wasted. I even got offered a beer and if my mother wasn’t standing right there I would have fucking accepted because I was so stressed out just by being there. I kept to myself and tried not to say much because I had nothing useful to say. I […]
I’ve been cleaning my house. Dropping bags to donate. Filling garbage cans.
I don’t want someone else to have to do it.
But it’s silly a bit. I’m making choices about what might be important to my children. I feel nothing about any of it.
I felt a bit better once I decided and started planning and preparing.
Now I can’t get out of bed again. They know I’m not ok. But there’s been so many secrets. I think they’re afraid too.
I got sober. I did what they told me to. And it was supposed to get better. I was going to be ENOUGH. But I’m not. And I […]
What if when you die, if you kill yourself, your punishment is to come back worse than now. A starving kid, someone with a horrible debilitating condition. I guess thats true of any way you die.
One’s problems don’t mean jack-s**t in the world.
Unless someone can make money off of it, or benefit in some way, it will remain useless and repelled.
Even a mother doesn’t care what her son’s been through.
Or maybe that’s just mine.
Yeah, probably just mine.