Everyone on here seems to be at point break right now isit because it’s the start of a new month ? I don’t no but I feel like shit right now your not alone guys new month new demons when dose the pain end ?!!!!
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start
I started a new smaller school back in October and basically its for kids with emotional and social problems. It is now the end of February and I haven’t made a single friend which I guess is kinda sad but I’m just really bad with social interactions. I basically sit at the corner seat and dont talk to anyone all day. There is this girl who loves anime (I also love anime) and I would say I have a really good chance with her but its so hard for me to talk to her because I hardly ever see her and shes not in any […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Today has gone kinda of smooth felt shit waking up and most of the morning then afternoon seemed to level out now at home and can’t stop fucking eating maybe it’s the anti depressants ? Or am I comfort eating ? Or trying to fill that void inside there is always that void inside I don’t no what it is but I no I always need it filled with food drink sex etc why is that void there what is that void I really don’t know but I really hate my weight I’m not over weight I just think I’m fat but I’m […]
I made a death cocktail so strong (if crushing a total amount of 525 pills into strawberry juice counts strong – most bitter juice that I have ever drunk) that I blacked out when I was done with the half of it. It was on Saturday night on the 13th of February. My mom woke me up on Monday and insisted me to go to a mental hospital, and I did. I was in a ward which had cameras in every corner, every room. We were allowed to smoke only 3 times a day, and this was the worst for me. I fucking love smoking, […]
I can’t believe I am at this point. I cheated on my wife of 10 years, with a woman that I barely knew, and recently she found out about it. I have two great kids, but don’t feel I can be the example as a good man for anymore, as she told me..I destroyed my family, her trust, and replaces the love she had towards me with anger and hate. She says I have literally drained the life from her and wasted her life…I no longer want to be a burden for her, and the financial gain she will get from this is huge, over […]
So when I was around 17 years old, I was quite the insecure little guy (still am, just not as bad). I always hated how I looked, thought I looked weird, that everyone was always staring at me, never satisfied with my appearance. I was in and out of school, really only attending classes if any friends were in it, art class, etc… So I remember one time I got my hair cut and I thought it just looked awful and too short (I had my bangs covering my eyebrows because I really fucked up plucking them and they looked awful), I was unaware and […]
I want to try something, for all of us. I recently sat down with my therapist and essentially explained what I was going through when I am depressed, considering suicide, making the plans.
After I was done, I felt so much better. I told someone exactly how it felt being tortured inside. And I want you all to do it here.
Write a few sentences (short might speak the loudest). Find music or a work of art. Make a video. Anything that calls out and resonates deep in you, and share with the world what it’s like.
Let me start out by saying this:
“Depression is sitting under a scalding shower, trying […]
Since we have the rashers and egg contest on and someone mentioned booze, I figure I would start a thread on that.
So what would you pick?
My vote Whiskey with a beer back! Let’s get smashed SP! Okay okay….so maybe I’ve had a few already…
I use to do a fun random quote of the day for my friends in the morning…here are some of them. Thought you guys might some of them funny.
Well, aren’t we a fun filled lollipop tripled dipped in psycho?
Me Crazy? Don’t make me get down off my unicorn and slap you!
Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes, but if I am still not back just read this message again.
Starting tomorrow – whatever life throws at me, I am just going to duck so it hits someone else.
My friend thinks he is so smart, he said onions are the only foods that make you cry. So […]
I am not sure if this is going to break the rules or not and I am sorry in advance if it does.
Tonight at 11pm GMT I will start the song that I have already decided I will fall “asleep” too. At the start of the song, I will drink my “sleepy time” juice followed with a shot of vodka to make it even more so. I should be asleep within 90 secs-2 mins. Long before my favorite song will end. Its the one I always dance to when I do ballet.
While I will be all alone for this moment, I would like very much […]
So there is this girl that I like at my high school, but i am too much of a ***** to ask her out. It’s just that why would she, or anyone for that matter, want to be with someone who is suicidal? I like her a lot though and I would like to think that being with her would change that. Like hell, when I’m around her, I can’t help but smile. But always when I get home, I just start thinking, “Would anyone really miss me?” Besides, in early November, I was such an asshole to her that she stopped talking to me […]
I wish I could be myself around other people. Unfortunately, ‘myself’ is a complete piece of shit. And while there are things I can do to moderate that, I can’t see it ever changing.
So my life is artificial. I can’t let anyone else see who or what I really am. What goes through my head. Because it’s fundamentally unacceptable. I am completely alone. I can’t let anyone see the fear. Because if they see the fear, they might start asking what I’m so afraid of. What is so awful that I feel so anxious about?
So my whole life is an act. It has been for […]
Dale swerved his car drunkenly up his long sloped driveway, barely stopping before the big oak tree at the top. He stumbles out of his car, barely able to find his own legs. His family dog, Conroy, lays coward while tethered to the porch. Conroy’s tail tucks underneath him as he whimpers, sensing the state of of Dales condition.
“Shut up mutt” Dale slurs, approaching the dog in an aggressive, albeit staggering motion.
Suddenly flashes and streaks stream around in a whirlwind. Somehow louder than a sonic boom but quieter than a whisper. Conroy’s gone. Dale mumbles, rubbing his eyes. Still no Conroy.
Thinking he’s […]
Where to start, well, it’s pretty clear that 90% of my turmoil is the result of an abusive marriage I want out of. I’m here of my own accord though, I’ve chosen this sacrifice, this suffering, because reasons.
I’ve also come to realize, in some strange way.. I sought this. In some sickening way, I’m comfortable being depressed. I feel as though, I pursued someone to hurt me, to justify feeling so hurt.
I’ve been on here roughly a week. A common theme I see, is people just wanting someone, anyone. It makes me Stockholm myself, as if taking this beating is better than being alone. Especially […]
Step 1: Take positive thoughts
Step 2: Replace negative thoughts
Do live in euphoria. Make yourself insane. It is okay if you direct your thoughts towards realistic positive change. The best things are at first abstract. Hope will bring you forward with a good framework, but you have to choose. Work out the vauge, and the real. Start here:
Velvet Underground: Black Angels Death Song
Of this endless journey, of this war born trail, through darkness and obscurity, through our loss we will prevail.
by Rotted_Flesh
written by Rotted_Flesh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4QKzSN2V_A
Set our sights on the horizon
A grip of stone and a stare of steel
Eyes awakened, now determined
We…
Ride
Carve our name
At the start of this path
And never look behind
This conquest
Is all that really matters
This will, wont shatter
Underneath the weight
Of this endless journey
Of this war born trail
Through darkness and obscuri-
ty and loss we will prevail
One last
Chance to prove to struggle on
And to conquer
The ground on which we walk upon
COLLIDE
With every hindrance in sight
And stoke these flames that
Burn, in-side
(Chorus)
This will, be remembered
A heart, filled with, vindication
This won’t, be […]
I’m in a fairly blissful mood atm. Its probably the chicken wings. The game is about to start. Im semi rooting for Carolina because im in South Carolina. I honestly could care less though. I just hope the Comercials aren’t annoying. I’m in a pretty zen mood. I usually post when im suicidal. I figured I’d post when I’m not. Ive been through to much not to enjoy the peaceful moments.
So I’m planning to quit my crappy retail job in the next couple of months. I’ve been thinking about it most of the 3+ years I’ve been there. I live with my folks, and they’re hoping to move within 6 months. I’m thinking I’ll go with them.
I figure I’ll have to quit then anyway, and if I do it before the move, I’ll have some time to sort my shit out a bit. If I wanted to carry on there, then I’d either have to travel 4 times as far from the new place (which would be ridiculous for the length of my shifts), or start renting my […]
I’m so self destructive
things start going good, then I do as much as possible to ruin any progress I make and get myself in a worse situation
The end is coming soon, at least I have death to look forward to.