I am a 24 year old  suffering with serious depression. I have become obsessed with committing suicide and have been on this site for about a month now haven’t really talked here much my social skills wouldn’t be the best tbh. I don’t like to go out spend all day on the computer and listening to music… to cut a long story short I have really set my mind that this weekend to just get it over with have a method planed out so yeah thats it.
i dont fucking know anymore. and idont know why. idk why i get up in the morning. idk how i continue with this charade. i dont know how to continue pretending this life is worth living. idk if i will go throu with it but i shure as hell cannot continue. And i dont know if there is reason good for my suffering. Idk if there even needs to be. Idk if that even matters. Idk if any of it even matters. But if theres one thing i do know its that no one else knows either
So catch me if you can motherfuckers, […]
As my days tick down i grow a little nervous, but at the same time relieved that my suffering will soon come to an end. I’m starting to feel the emotional pain of those left behind and what they will feel. But I’m really not close to my family and have no kids so they will recover just fine. i think they will understand that my mental illness has been too much and the future looks grim. I’m wrapping up final details here and there. tomorrow I get dog his bordetella vaccine so he can be boarded for 3 days till my father picks him […]
*** ** MAJOR amendment to this thread!!! VERY IMPORTANT! Scroll down to my last post. It will save you A LOT of trouble! Seriously!!!! *******
I’ve figured it out! I feel like celebrating! I’m so happy and relieved!
In my heart of hearts, I believe people should be allowed the dignity and respect of deciding how long they live. To me, what drives a person to end their life is the devestating part; that profound suffering and internal unending pain. But not the actual suicide; that’s freedom.
For example, I recently had to have […]
Don’t want to get better. Don’t want to find some wonderful thing to make all the suffering of the past worth it. Don’t want anything. Just want to stop existing. To go to sleep and never wake up. Simple as that.
I got out of bed earlier, made and poured myself a hot cup of tea.
As I stirred my tea gently and slowly, my mind began to percieve it as a pattern..sort of a beat.
Swoosh..swoosh..swoosh..swoosh..
Words began to play like a song in my head..in a really soft high-pitched voice
Sharp knives and blood
Like sugar and tea
Sweetly come together to comfort me
End the suffering now
turn out the lights
Death is not so bad
Take your life
Take your life
Take your life
Take your worthless life
This was replayed twice until I was jolted out of the lullaby by the sound my phone […]
hia all here to speak about the illness that we all share. i dont believe you are sane or honest if you have not considered suicide. the main reason iv come on here is because in the last few days iv attempted to reach out to many of my acquaintances about life suffering and the torrent of
suicidal thoughts that seem to follow any serious self-contemplation im capable of. Notability i’ve come to the realize that the contemplation of limitations lead to suicidal thoughts even if its just for the duration of one class, being bound to a desk while an innocent teacher attempts to […]
What’s the worst thing I could say? Things are better if I stay..
So yeah. Hi. Today has been… Interesting. As you know yesterday was 9/11. *in comes Daniel* ‘If they couldn’t be saved, then neither should you’… He was talking abut every known terrorsit attack. And you guys know I have that thing going on ith the illuminati and thinking that they’re watching me? Well, that got slightly worse too. Had a mini panic attack. 🙂 (Y)
And so now, I avoid people in the street for fear that they may try to do something to me. It’s a little worse than it sounds… I probably […]
I felt like shit. I mean I usually feel like shit but today was different. I honestly wanted to jump of the 5nd floor. I just need someone to talk to. Someone who will always be here for me. Someone who would be able to just listen and I can cry all I want and hrkwjdkejxkshdkwkdkanjskskskakskskkskqldnapjlkbkjhkijnbctyhjyd I just don’t feel okay. And I’m really tired of pretending im fine. I’m tired of people stepping all over me. You know what I wanna do? I want to ignore everyone… Just not talk to anyone (except for like 2 people who I love talking to). I’ve been […]
I’ve battled with depression over several years; I’ve tried different meds to help out, but with varying success. They can keep me up to a certain level, but once life hits, there’s no staying afloat.
There’s been so much turmoil in my life; business going bust, marriage on the verge of breaking, custody and visitation battles, verbal fights with stepkids, friends leaving me, money running out, vehicles break beyond repair or being stolen, workplace f**ked up..
I’m at the point where I just don’t see what my purpose of being here is – people and situations just constantly push back or throw spanners in the […]
I really don’t want to commit suicide, but in my case, I think it may be my only way to avoid a life of complete suffering for many more years.
I’m a single, middle aged woman, no children or spouse. Â I have siblings whom I no longer can have a relationship with, for valid and good reasons. Â While I have friends, and I appreciate them, they have their own families and their own lives, I cannot count on them to alleviate the loneliness. Â I’m incredibly, incredibly lonely.
But, I’ve always been a “fighter” … until now. Â I’ve gone through trial after trial through my years on this […]
Hi,this is my first post as in such . I am nineteen years old and am a male. I have always hated myself since god knows when .I am 6 foot tall and people call me ugly and fat and incapable to have a girlfriend.I always felt shy around people and I always go by the motto ” I dont give two hoots what other people thinks of me”. I have so called “Friends” who smile and laugh at me and say stuff around my back and people use me to do stuff for them. Its as if I am their puppet. My mum […]
September 10th of every year is World Suicide Prevention Day.  To acknowledge the importance of this day, as well as those who have forfeited their voices in exchange for freedom from their unspeakable suffering, New Middle Press would like to offer 50 free copies of Dear Mallory: Letters to a Teenage Girl Who Killed Herself to the first 50 individuals who respond (as well as the administrator of this site, if he/she would like a copy). For information about Dear Mallory, please go to www.newmiddlepress.com. If you would […]
Isn’t that what the world is built on? Isn’t that what life is all about? The pain of existing. The suffering we succumb to, day after day.
I’ve been asked why I don’t want children. It’s a simple concept. I’m not a cruel, unjust person. I care too much. I love too much. And I simply will not bring another being into this world, so I can watch them suffer as I suffered. Hurt, as I hurt. I will not bring life into this world and watch it die. Watch it be eaten alive by society. By the media. By the government.
I will not sit back […]
I remember a time when I was young, I think just starting junior high school, around the time when it became all too obvious there was only one way my life could go. I was in church with my parents (Roman Catholic Sunday mass), and I was sitting in between my mother and a man who’d been in a car accident. He wore a neck brace, leg braces, and the kind of crutches that attach to the arms. Before long, he fell asleep, and my mother whispered to me to wake him up, but I wouldn’t. Her whispering grew louder and […]
Well… I know I should have life made for me. I’m part of a middle class, happy family. I come from a tradition of academia. Intelligence is highly valued. I go to a fantastic school, and everyone thinks I’m going places. Before this year though, I was bullied since I was young, around 7. I have never had a high opinion of myself, and about two years ago I started feeling more andore miserable. I withdrew from everyone. I now believe I was depressed.
I am a weak person, and I have done a terrible thing. I again feel like taking my own life. What is […]
2your useless just like your father” is something I usually hear when i fail to please my mother. Ever since the divorce, our relationship has been so strained and she has been verbally and emotionally abusing me for the last year or so.my father left us and is rarely ever on the scene and is a dead-beat dad.my mom is under so much stress from everything but she takes it out on me particularly. my two younger sisters are treated like gods gift and im told to shut up and get over myself. she constantly talks about how nobody would ever want me and […]
Hi my name is Kim and I am 15. You’re probably going to think I’m just another overly dramatic high school girl. Im not I have been through more shit than people should have to go through by the time they are 15. My dad died when I was 11 but my suffering started earlier in life. My dad drank a lot and when he did he would physically abuse me but when I turned 9 he didn’t drink as often but I’m left with mental scarring and get scared if someone raises a hand near me. He got leukemia when I was 10 and […]
i’ve had so many troubles throghout my life. loved ones dying, friendship brake ups, cheating, agressions, sexual harsments, lies, broken promises. yeah it may seem like they are little reasons but they sure were powerful enough to weaken me little by little. though i haven’t lost it all. i still have faith, hope, & love. even if i have hate, grudges, and disappointments as well. & even if i want to die, i still have hope to have desire to live. i have my lovely family that truthfully love me, few friends that love me and appriciate me. i have that idea to live for […]
Why must we suffer? And why does it seem like it’s all in vain? I am beginning to think that my own suffering is surely in vain; it doesn’t make me a stronger person or build my character, or give me any new insight. Â It simply sucks the life from me like a parasite. If I knew somehow that I had a future, a real chance, perhaps I could push through.
I wonder how many of us would be able to make it through if we just had something (or someone) to validate our existence on this earth–– to just validate our suffering, and to tell […]