Depression is very common in my family! In fact almost everyone on my mothers side suffers from some form of depression or mental illness. As I sit watching my happy and very silly baby boy run around the yard I am plagued with the crippling fear of passing on my depression to him. I can’t bear the thought of one day Broox wanting to take his own life or harming himself in any way. I wish there was a way I could scoop him up and hide him away so he is always this happy, silly, giggly care free beautiful boy that he is right […]
Okay, well this is my story..
I’m quite young and I’m broken. I’m depressed and suicidal, clearly.. and i selfharm. I put on the fakest smile every single day. I’m miserable, I just want to be dead, to be free, to be happy. I have tried to take my own life many times, I don’t really have a massive story. But my depression has taken over me, my self eestem is horrible, I can’t leave the house without crying, I’m horribly fat and aswell so ugly. I hate leaving the house because I usually don’t have the nicest clothes because i’m not rich, my family struggles […]
i have opened up to a few people about my suicidal thoughts, they tell me im being selfish. am i the selfish one or is it them? i am suffering and it just gets worse everyday. Â they dont care that i am in pain. if you see a dying dog on the side of the street are you going to watch it slowly die or put it out of its misery?
Okay I have had depression and suicidal thoughts since I was in my mid-teenage yrs. I’ve always blocked it out of my mind and hid it and was in complete denial. I actually started admitting to it about a yr and a half ago, but I’ve started dealing with it in the last month especially in the last week. I was always told by churches that you’ve got power of these things that all you have to do is pray and God will take care of them. Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world. I believe in God […]
I’d gone so long without cutting. Months. Tonight, I get into a car crash, second one in a year, and now everything is apparently falling to shit. Mom is saying I ruined her life. Everything just always has to fuck up. I was doing so well, I was doing fine. Now, here I am slicing my arm and deciding the easiest way to kill myself. I just wanna do it. I’ve been thinking about it for over a year, I need to just do it. Kill myself and it’s over, then everything will go away.
Just a little preface, I am a 26 year old male who works for the biggest telecommunications company in Canada (I cant say who….) as an Install/Repair technician. I am only mentioning this because it will tie together further on.
Well, I had this one REALLY bad day, and I had suicidal thoughts which would not go away. I wanted to die, just like most other days… I have this one way bridge near my house, and I figured it would be good to hang from. It is a one way bridge, and a few people I know would see me there… The bridge is for […]
My lack of tenacity to anything and everything applies I guess just as well to my suicidal thoughts. They come and go but they are never enough to make me actually do anything. Its more a coping thing. It has been a few months since I have felt this low and un-like reality, when I ***** about my petty white kid problems you all kind of listen. Which is cool so I can keep my crazy priviate and un-identified. Since I am obviously to ***** to do it I have decided begrudgingly take on reality head on for thirty days. Thirty days just giving it […]
“I am my heart’s undertaker. Daily I go and retrieve its tattered remains, place them delicately into its little coffin, and bury it in the depths of my memory, only to have to do it all again tomorrow.”  — Emilie Autumn (The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls)
I had my first suicidal thought at the age of eight. Two years later, I had what I referred to as “my contingency plan”, consisting of a lethal OD of my mum’s prescribed potassium chloride pills. It was a strange comfort to know that, if everything ever became too much, there was something I could DO, something I actually had […]
I did have a different title – which was funny – but I forgot. Oh well.
My name is “kthx” (for privacy reasons). I am a 26 year old Male, plagued with three conditions (that we know of so far) which are Major Depressive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and A.D.D. (ADHD minus the hyper component). I was diagnosed with the ADD and depression as a child. I have lived ever since then in a depressed state. I always have a low mood (dysthymia), and things never seem to work out for me.
I have been through so many psychiatrists and psychologists offices throughout my life and not one of […]
the first person I told about my suicidal thoughts/actions acted like he really cared. He made me tell my parents. He never asks me about it anymore. I feel like the only reason he wanted them to know was so he didn’t have to deal with me anymore. Which is totally understandable because i am areally hard person to handle. I still and always will feel really bad about telling him because I just threw him into a situation I’m sure he had no interest being in and he really dust have a choice but to help. I just wish he honestly cared.
First post in a while.
I have tagged this with the words “I will survive” somewhat ironically. ‘Cause I won’t.
I am depressed every spare second of the day. I can only fake a smile, and now my friends have started seeing it’s fake. One even stated that my eyes got sadder when I smiled.
But, every single spare second I get, suicidal or self-loathing thoughts come into my mind. I hate myself. I hate this. I hate this reality and I spend so long wanting to leave.
And…sooner or later I will. People can tell me to keep my chin up, to surround myself with loved ones. But […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
I’ve had suicidal thoughts before, but I’ve always turned to my faith in God and he has brought me out of it. Just recently, a girl who I love so very much, more so than any relationship I have been in before, left me for another man. I have nothing, I would have done anything for her. I did my usual coping methods, drowning out my sorrow with loud music, getting rid of my anger with violent video games, and even turning to God again. Yet this time, when I turned to him, I didnt feel anything. I’ve never questioned my faith before, but now […]
I am new to this site.  I have been having suicidal thoughts for a while now…  I don’t really want to explain my situation, but to say the least, my life has been a complete failure and I want it to stop.  I don’t want to change my mind, I can’t fucking STAND ignorant people that are like “why you drink/smoke/do drugs?” Obviously because I’m lonely/depressed/have an addiction/want to forget my problems and I most certainly don’t want to talk about that.  I am not looking for sympathy, or all that jaz.  I am just looking for information.  My top choices would be 1. KCN […]
I made a fool of myself last night again. Well, maybe not. Anyway, my best friend was in town and the past 4 or 5 times hes been here I haven’t been able to hang out with him. I was always pretty upset about it, anyway. I finally seen him and went to a little party with him and got reaaaaaally drunk. Tequila. Fucked me right up. And I thought I could handle it this time. Iv’e been truly happy lately. But not last night. I went outside to have a smoke and found a spot where I was alone and my friend followed. I […]
It’s laying late in bed. There’s a thousand & one reasons to hate yourself. I’ve given up on myself 6 times. The most severe time that I do remember was on February 2, 2012.
I stayed home from school (my senior year). I don’t like going to school when I feel really depressed. I usually just told my mom that I was sick. MY mind played tricks on me & my nerves made me sick. There was a full bottle of NyQuil & full bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol. I took both. I chugged & swallowed. Things shouldn’t have gotten this bad. I called my friend […]
Anxiety, depression, Bulimia Nervosa and cronically alone.
After seeking treatment for Comorbid major depressive disorder and Bulimia Nervosa I though I would change and consequently my life would change. Reality is a whole lot different. I constantly have suicidal thoughts, high levels on anxiety and extremely low moods.
I find my self in the grips of yet another bad Bulimia time. On a good night I eat dinner once and loose it once, on a bad night I might eat 3 and loose 3. I do it not to be thin but to ease the anxiety and stress and as an avenue for self harm. I am […]
I’m Carys, and this is my story. It started back in seventh grade, from January to now. I had recently met a girl, Kristin. We clicked right away and life was good. Until summer. One of my friends from before, Olivia, started acting up a bit. She was quieter, and preferred to stay behind more. I got concerned, but she wouldn’t say anything. Later, I discovered Kristin was a lesbian, and she liked me. I was kind of astonished, and I didn’t know what to think. Eventually, I fell in love with her. At the same time, however, Olivia revealed to me she liked Kristin. […]
I have hated myself since I can remember. I always thought I was worthless. I remember looking at myself in the mirror when I was 5 and thinking ‘I hope my face changes and looks better when I grow up’. I’ve never fit in with anyone and I cry a lot. I feel like my body is a prison and I would do anything to be free. Suicidal thoughts take control of my life when I am on a low. I can’t get rid of them. I’ve had these thoughts since I was 10 years old. I battle myself constantly and it’s exhausting. Only my […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever […]