I really don’t understand myself. I just got back from my Prom, and I have to say it wasn’t as bad as I expected, but that’s because I had no expectations at all! Anyway, for some of it, I was really really happy and I danced and laughed and had a lovely time. However, for other parts, I just sat staring into nothing and feeling numb and wanting to die. This also happened whilst I was on the dancefloor, and I just stayed there awkwardly dancing and wondering how easy it would be to just do it at that exact moment, like jump from the […]
Tag:
Suicide
I have pushed so many people away from my life… I’m so sick of being fake around people… if I’m genuinely not happy with myself I don’t want to be around others nor do I want to bring them down… I just want to be left alone to deal with my own emotion and problems.
Being Adhd and Autistic isn’t easy for me, during my teens I’ve done a lot of drugs as an outlet to help me express myself since so much I felt I was suppressed through society, school, parents…Â even though now I don’t smoke or pop pills anymore I just don’t feel […]
today I decided to tell someone I trust about how I’m feeling and how close I’m getting to suicide. And he blew up at me, telling me I was selfish and livin in my own delusional world. Thought it would take some heat off of me having someone know. Just made me feel worse because now I feel like hes gunna see me as broken. And the only thing he could say to me is that I need to see a professional, and not for one second could he understand I’m hurt and just wanting to heal but I want to do it on my […]
Im scared. A little over a month ago my girlfriend of almost 7 years moved in with her dad in another state. We have a 4 year old son together and he means the world to me. I was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic when I was just 14 and have been living with it every day of my life. Ive never suffered from depression, I just seemed to bottle up my illness and not think about it until a couple years ago. It seemed like I couldn’t hold on to a job very long and wasn’t very motivated to work.
Im actually not in […]
I wish I could just do it, and stop being just a chicken. I want to go and just be forgotten, everyone tells me ‘what about the people who care about you, what your doing osnt affrcting only you’ and my response? I just want people to stop carong so I can get on with suicide faster and easier and guilt free. Fucking hell. 🙁
I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up in life. And in everything.
Been thinking.
Too much.
How do you change your thought process? I’m not talking about just negativity, here. The way you think. I’ve been so analytical in my thought process that the only way to change is to constantly brainwash myself towards another way of thinking, and that’s what I need to escape from. I want to live in a more direct “Living by the moment for the moment”, not “Living in my brain about the moment in the moment”. I can’t just “live”. I don’t need a happily ever after either. Just normal conversations with a person. My father. My friend. Anyone. (Yeah, I’m a […]
I don’t want to make new friends nor meet my ‘other half’ .. I don’t want a job .. I don’t want to hang on to the idea this world can be a better place .. I don’t even want happiness .. I don’t want any reason to be tied to this world
All I want is OUT .. Why are we conditioned, encouraged to believe life is -that- valuable? I’m also tired of hearing: suicide is never the answer .. If you were to kill yourself, people who care about you would be crushed, devastated etc
Well, I don’t think I’m that responsible for anyone well-being […]
Once it’s happened and it’s not going to “get better.” Â You just walk through some how. So many of us have been destroyed, obliterated waited for grace, given everything to somehow survive. Â I think about suicide nearly all the time. Â I gave all I could, now it’s just playing out the string. Â Thank you everyone who has posted about their hell. Â I heard somebody once say in their despair (words that I’d expressed too), “I’m just a person.” Â More hell.
If anyone wants to talk outside of this site like through email or something let me know. I really need someone to talk to that won’t judge me and won’t tell me I’m wrong for thinking about suicide. I just need someone who understands m
hi, i’m katie.c: i’m 14. and i’ve been through a lot..
well where to start..my mom is an alcoholic and drug addict, but she is one of the sweetest ladies alive. i love her to death. my dad..he couldn’t be more mean. he gets really mad and it scares me. last night, it was a minor thing, and he punched to perfect holes in the wall. in january, my mom got so drunk. me and my 10 year old brother were the only ones home at the time and we had to call my dad and he came home. he called 911, my mom had to […]
I fell asleep before I could actually do it.. Then I wome up, and my mom was home. I didnt want to take the chance of her walking in and finding me unconcous and calling an ambulance.. She has a couple weeks off from work so.. Im still here. Im such a fuck up, I even fucked my own suicide up.
I thought I would come back to say that I did choose to not attempt suicide again – and in fact, I’m feeling rather good. The reason for this is that I was up all night googling to see if I could find anything to explain my actions, any form of disease or illness. I was unsuccessful, which is pretty much what I was expecting. However, I was watching the film The Big Bang with Antonio Banderas (not a fan of his but he was good in this), William Fichtner (most underrated actor of all time – give the man some leading roles!) and Sam […]
My name is Josh, I am a 20y/o guy who lives with his parents. I’ve tried to live with some friends, in the past, it never worked (I could never find a job in my area). I recently had an opportunity to move to a better location, and maybe find a job. Someone (I know this person) screwed me over, I felt shot down, and I didn’t know what to do, so I moved in with my parents again. Its been about a month since that happened, and now I am slowly turning into a sociopath. I couldn’t care less about the people around me. After my […]
I really can’t take it anymore. I just can’t love my mother anymore and I feel horrible because of this. But every time I do feel some pity for her, it just gets worse. I just don’t know. I want to get away from here, away from my parents. Every time I see them I am nearly crying. I often thought about suicide, but I don’t really want to die, I am scared to die. Yet, I would do anything to get away from here, as far as possible.. Please, can’t anybody save me? Can’t anybody make me disappear?..
Well, the title explains it all. All is left is to fix a date to suicide. I can’t seem to find the courage because I have to leave my family behind. All I’m worried about is what if I survived? What if I’m there lying on the bed and looking at my parents looking at me with full of disappointment. I gotta make it successful. I can’t fail this time. This has to be done. I can’t wait to end the misery, but I just don’t know when. Now it does, because I’m gonna do it all alone, and nobody knows about it. I […]
People have told me. Just wait a few years and it’ll get better. I’m waiting…
written by RogueShadow1281
Will I suddenly feel better as soon as I’m out of high school. Is that the big change. I’m sorry, but one year is long enough.Â
I waited a while, it hasn’t changed much, or I’m too focused on one thing to see it. I, instead, have been going through shitty times (yet I may have over-exaggerated a bit) and that hasn’t really motivated me to keep going.
Please I don’t wan to wait any longer. A part of me wants to end it, it’s probably when I’m most depressed. There’s another part that wants to wait it out.Â
The problem with having 2 or more perspectives/personalities […]
About seven or eight year ago I moved to the UK with my grand mum. She’s great. The best I could have. Unfortunately I can’t say the same about my mum. Don’t get me wrong, I love her too, but there’s certain things about her I can’t forgive. One is the fact that she’d rather be a WOMAN than a MUM. It sounds quite strange doesn’t it? What I mean to say is that she’d rather be with her partner than with her children. It’s not AS horrible as it sounds, but it is rather bad. My mum and my brothers, they stayed back at […]
I’ll start out by saying I consider myself “addicted” to suicidal thoughts. The thoughts begun as early as elementary school and continued to thrive throughout my life. As I prepare to leave everyone I know and move a 1000 miles away to college, I can’t seem to commitment to moving forward or ending my life. I have made one serious attempt, one which had me hospitalized for 4 months, and that was just 1 out of my 11 hospitalizations. Life has been a long and hard journey for me. I have learned the hard way the cons of acting on these thoughts. I also know […]
Every night. I cry. Sometimes a little, usually a lot.
And it’s like i’d be scared of what would happen if i didn’t
The stupid things i do to myself. I think they stop me going overboard
Recently i’ve been hurting myself a lot more than ever. I use to just get drunk or get high or worse
But i promised her i wouldn’t- not that i know why, it’s not like i’ll ever mean half as much to her as she does to me. But i get so scared of losing her i abide by that promise. So i just keep getting worse. And i just […]
“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, “You can’t fire me – I quit.”â€
by sowhat
written by sowhat
everyone will die (eventually) so what if I decide the end of my history??