I dont deserve to live. Thats what I think, and thats what I feel everyone else should think about me. Ever since i’ve become a teenager my life has just been shit. You’ll probably say im just overreacting. You’re probably right. But i cant help it. I just hate myself so bad I can barely describe it. Im a failure at life. I had friends, then I lost them, im socially awkward, im a freak, im a coward, im pessimistic, im selfish, im useless, im dumb, im slow and im narrow-minded. I feel like Gods mistake. Aparrently God gave everyone a good trait, but not […]
Tag:
Teenager
Its been over a year since I attempted suicide and I am still struggling with some aspects of my experience. I decided to participate in this project because I think that suicidal people need a voice to speak about their experiences with, especially since there is an onslaught of media messages and peer pressure that distorts perceptions of suicide. Since I came through my attempt, I have decided to talk about it and hope that my story helps others, so here goes.
I’ve been suicidal for years. My Mom said that moodiness and sadness were all part of being a teenager and that it would pass, […]
Life’s complicated, yes, we all know that. That’s not the only reason we want to do or even try to do what we do.
I feel worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, I feel like a loser, you name it. I felt it all. Being a teenager is a lot more complicated than adults think, especially nowadays. Classes are harder, technology makes it hard to get away from those people we want to get away from, and people are just a lot more cruel. And to those kids who have to do sports and keep grades up, it’s a lot harder than it sounds. Having the responsibilities we […]
Hello my name is Arianna I am 15 years old. I have no reason to live. i hate this I hate all of this. I hate the human beings in this world who make it their job to judge and bully. I hate the models out there that are the pure essence of beauty when they are all bones and skin. I hate the stupid corrupted police system that turns a blind eye to a child being sexually abused because it’ll make their job easier to sit on their lazy asses!
So here I sit in hate with blood dripping from my wrists writing to […]
Its okay you got a bad grade. It’s okay you’re not skinny and have bright eyes and don’t fit into size four jeans. It’s okay boys don’t whistle at you (I mean, you’re not a dog, are you?) It’s okay that you’re friends are leaving, because if they were such good friends, they’d be sitting with you trying to not make you feel like shit.
It’s okay you’re parents shout at you, their trying their best and I don’t think they remember how it feels to be a teenager anyway. It’s okay you feel as though you’ve lost yourself, everybody does from time to time. […]
I actually took advice… I seeked help
I have wanted to die for the past several years that I can remember. Not as much for the reason of hating life; moreso the desire for all the pain around me to stop.
A sum up.. I grew up with a family who abused drugs and alcohol. Never had a real parental figure that helped me distinguish “right or wrong” or even a good sense of morals. I have had multiple relationships but all ended badly. I blame myself moreso because my first ever love had committed suicide when we were 16.
With that and a whole lot more that […]
I hate the term ‘to help’ because it means that you have a problem to be fixed in the first place.
I am a teenager and have already been through more than most people can even imagine. My biological father left when I was a baby and is in and out of jail. I haven’t met him, nor do I want to, but that event in my life is still a part of who I am today so it was worth mentioning. When I was young (2-5) I was physically abused by my stepfather at the time (also my little brother’s dad). I have two half […]
sometimes I really just want to die. I mean I’m a teenager ad wanting to die is normal? Idunno. But  I don’t necassarl want to kill myself… Rather I would like someone else to kill me. Someone else so the dirty work.
Someone to hang me
someone to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.
i want someone else to kill me so I don’t have to do it myself
Let’s see. 4 years. 4 years ago was the first time I took a blade to my own wrist. And now here I am, barely a teenager and I want to die for the millionth time. Whenever something bad happens I automatically think; “let’s save that for later, you can rid the tainted blood with one trip to your special drawer”. But sometimes, sometimes it isn’t enough. Sometimes I just have a thousand thoughts running through my head, all of the bad things that have happened and keep happening. Hey, your antidepressants make you cold all the fucking time. Your dad is never here and […]
How can we know that we are loved? Kisses. I’ve never been kissed in my whole life. Yeah, I’m ashamed because of that. Come on, I’m a teenager and that means, to me, that I’ve never been loved, not even a child love. Well, when I was a seven or eight year old girl, a friend kissed me. Have you ever seen those kisses between children? Was something like that. He acted like a ************ with me the rest of my childhood, telling me that I was ugly and fat constantly. God, I hate the bastard. Anyway, that was my first kiss. I don’t know why that […]
Well, after contemplating for a couple hours, I finally decided to post something. The main reason is because I mean who the hell wants to listen to some teenager going on about how depressed he is when there is no reason as to why he would be? I have a roof to sleep under and food to eat every night. I don’t get bullied. I don’t hate myself or think I’m ugly or stupid. I have no good reason to want to die. Â But yet there’s something inside me that is tearing me apart. I have no emotions any more. I just want to die. […]
As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had this nagging thought in the back of my mind. This thought that life is pointless and tiresome. I don’t remember much of being a child. It is as though I was someone else before I became a teenager. Photographs are life’s little moments captured in a stillframe and frozen. Looking at childhood pictures bothers me, because I feel as though I am looking at someone else. I feel as though the pictures are supposed to make me recall the moment in the photo. But I don’t. I don’t remember dressing in the clothes I am […]
Im so pissed today.I had a great morning went out for my birthday with my therapist even though they gave me a gift card to buy clothes knowing if they gave me it for anything else i wouldve bought pills and probably taken them.What people dont get is im already going to do that and i can find my own way to get what i need cause im resourceful.But it gets worse
I go on a site to get free stuff and give away stuff and they took the item i was giving away down.Even though people were giving away the same item.Anyway not […]
A couple of days ago I heard about Amanda Todd. It reminded me when I used to consider suicide because of being constantly bullied. Bullied by my “friends”, bullied my my classmates, by my ex-boyfriend (who blackmailed me for 2 years, saying he would tell everyone in my family what I was, what I had done and said). Then I remembered when the bully got physical. Been called names, been thrown things, been punched. No one cared back then. They would see me crying, but ‘oh, it’s ok, he’s just a teenager’. Anyway, somehow I made it through middle and high school.
Today I’m in college. […]
And all the stories you can say, All the ways that you deceive, Will never stop me getting through, I will fight my way to you….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
So this week has been pure shit. I mean, Suicidal thinking shit. Obviously.
First, I just haven’t been my self this week. I’ve been a blend of the the bad Nat’s that we know and love :3 Secondly, Thursday was 27/9/12 (The ‘day’ that the voices have been talking about for months) Nothing bad happened on that day because I didn’t go into school… Friday however was by far the worst day of the week.
So Friday- Woke up feeling okay, did all my routines. Did break down a bit third lesson but I brought myself back from it. Cue fourth lesson. I got a facebook message […]
Life what the f*ck is it about cause I truly don’t know anymore. I mean nothing makes sense anymore. People tell you bad situations don’t last long but I would like to challenge that theory. Happiness doesn’t last long so if you ever achieve it cherish it because it’s temporary. However, misery can last a life time. I’m living proof of that I know I’m only 19 but I’ve been miserable for the majority of my life. And right now I’m just exhausted. My life has no meaning to me anymore. I have to be the loneliest teenager in the world. You know people think […]
Yesterday I got into a very suicidal mood which is totally isn’t me, or so I thought. I laid in bed all day and would have rather been dead than have done anything else. I’ve been depressed for the past few months after my mom cheated on my dad and they’re now going through a nasty divorce. I don’t talk to my mom anymore even though we still live in the same house. I feel really alone and like no one understands. I’m 14, I have a whole life ahead of me and I already want to die? It just doesn’t seem right. I want […]
Series of unfortunate events leads to depression
Depression leads to cutting
Cutting repulses people
Tries not to cut
Acts fine to others
Teenager somehow gets through high school without friends
Teenager doesnt know where to fit in..
Sits by herself at college lunch table
……….Almost invisible……….
Endures things happening
Handling things she shouldnt be able to handle
Doesnt want to handle anymore
Decides to give up
Disappears forever…
I think I need to be heard. I’m not looking for any help or something like that; I just need that people shut up and let me talk.
Well, all this start with me when I was a child. My grandfather is a pedophile and he raped my cousin when she was eight. When I knew about it I start thinking about all the time I spend with that man when I was an innocent and weak girl. By the way, I knew about that because my cousin told me, no one else in my family was enough decent for telling me about it. In my family what […]
I hate that I am really just another miserable, angsty teenager. I really hate that. I hate that so many people feel this fucked up, I hate that I am not the only one that feels this way. I just hate that even my sadness is unoriginal.
On a better day this may be a comfort- that other people feel the same. But not really and not at all right now. I want to own my sadness, I don’t want to share it. And I suppose that that makes no sense- why would anyone be so possessive of pain? Â I don’t know, all I know is […]