For the past six months I’ve been strugling with severe problems in my life. The main reason was breakup with my girlfriend after 3 years. Since the breakup I havent slept more than 5 hours a day, I don’t even go out anymore (in fear I might see her) and overall I’ve isolated myself from the outside world and things got so far I’ve been inches away from commiting suicide, however there came a point where things started to go more positive; me and ex talked about the breakup and deicided that it’s best for both of us if we just stay friends, I’ve got […]
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Texts
Yeah I didn’t think so… Why would any of you worry about me? Anyways, sorry I’ve been gone, I’ve been safe at a friend’s house and then my grandparents saw a ‘bad’ pic on my ipod and now I cant get on a computer without them over my shoulder. Litterally. She stands right here and reads my texts and watches what i do. They’re at church right now so I get a chance to get on. Church…. My only freedom is when they are at church. Anyways… 4 days till I get on a plane for Florida. Not that it matters. My mom will probly […]
For the past year, the past fucking year, this guy and I have been trying to hang out to try to get back together. Our plans have never really work out but at least we keep trying. He’s always been an on and off douche though. He’ll say he wants to be together then the next week he never texts me. I don’t know why I keep trying to get back together with him though.
Today though, I learned he made out with a girl over memorial weekend. To make it even better, I already hate this girl cause she made my friend and her boyfriend […]
today I feel incredibly weak. I’m trying to get on track by forcing myself to eat and work out and keep busy but today I feel like I’m staring at the finish line, hesitating to cross it.
Work is tedious, there’s too much of it, keeps me overly busy. Leaves me with large gaps of time to think about the idea of working and how stupid it is for me to be doing it considering that I want my life ended.
I think the same thing about my life; why bother, because I don’t want any of this? I don’t want to save my game, but just […]
one guy, me, and love. the battle in life, love controls us. i never wanted to disaprear so badly until he came along… i love him. i want him but i cant have him, maybe thats why its all gone down hill.. i slit.. i cry.. everynight.. i never thought that growing up and falling inlove was so hard.. i was inlove before and told myself not to fall ever again… but then it happend, he made me feel like i could, like he would catch me.. we broke up because i was upset.. i got kicked out of my moms and house and […]
this is my first post so if i jibber-jabber to much i do apologize. im new at this the thought of a bunch of strangers reading this is still kind of weird but one of you might be or have been in the position im in and i would actually like to know the thoughts of someone that i guess can somewhat understand me. so here goes a bit of whats on my mind right now….
i get suicidal thoughts a lot lately. a couple days ago, i guess you can say i had a bit of a melt down. i was texting one of […]
Before I begin, if you might want to read my previous post for some context. Â http://suicideproject.org/2012/03/want-to-just-die/
I’m still here. Â Not much of an accomplishment really. Â Still depressed. Â Still having very suicidal thoughts. Â Not constantly, but it’s like they’re always there, waiting for me to have just one very bad day.
My ex and I were friends. Â The she just stopped returning my texts. Â I didn’t know why. Â Still not sure I do. Â About three weeks ago. Â I texted her and basically wouldn’t stop until she told me what was going on. Â All she said was that I can be annoying somtimes. Â I admit that sometimes this […]
I have been obsessed with someone for the last 4 years. All he did was lead me on and no matter what I couldn’t walk away. He is all I think about. I just want to see him, talk to him and be with him. He’s been ignoring my texts and he treats me like shit. I have tried hundreds of times to move on, I have gone through months without talking to him and throughout that time I broke down and refused to talk to anybody, I just stayed in bed listening to music and cried non stop. He always talks to me again […]
I had it all ready. Everything was in place. Time. Method. I was scared, but I knew that I just had to overcome that fear. This was going to be like ripping off a bandaid: it was going to hurt for a very short time, but in a little while, its existence in the first place would be forgotten.
I told the only two people in the world who would care or it would impact in the slightest. The one had known for months (lets call her Olympia). The other I had only known for a few weeks, but we are very, very close because we […]
I love her with all my heart. But I hate her for doing this to me. I love her for being honest about her feelings. But I hate her for not having those feelings. I hate myself for hating her. I hate myself for loving her.
Sometimes I think I’d be better off if I’d never looked at her a second time. It’s funny how that single act of going up to her and starting a conversation, has led me to where I am now. Sometimes I think I’d be better off if we’d never met, but then I wouldn’t have enjoyed the WONDERFUL time we […]
hey, guess what! i thought up some more!
AtTheEnd and those apples….
hippies
Woodstock
yum. tea.
popcorn
churros
chinese food
that feeling in the air after a nice storm of cleanliness and fresh beginnings
knowing y’all care
some nice lightning displays
those adorable couples who hug each other in public
my butterflies
singing in the rain
giving others hope
donating hair
tweeting #MyRaysOfSunshine for all to see! (y’all should join in! let’s make it a trending topic!)
receiving texts
emails, too!
oooo, and i LOVE getting letters in the mail!
that’s all for now, folks! y’all come back now, ya here?
What kind of vows are out there aside from marriage vows?
I understand that there are common-law marriages wherein a couple lives together for a certain time and are then deemed married although they’d never taken any legal action to certify the marriage.
I understand that there can be a vow between any two people or any number of people(e.g. I vow to do…)
So, what makes one vow stronger or more acceptable than the others?
A friend of mine recently argued to me that a breakup that I’d gone through could not compare to the troubles(a temporary separation) in his marriage. He went on to list everything he’d […]
have you ever felt left out? have you ever felt so unwanted? My bestfriend has said and started rumors about me and wont answer my texts, but I know shes there. people call me a ginger, im not A ginger i just have a red tint to my hair! it seems like they all hate me and that the world would be better without me. ME is a word i thought was pretty, smart, nice, and funny but it turns out at night I find myself crying and thats not ME. I want the things to back to the way they were last year, everything was perfect. this […]
I spent most of today doing math homework with a girl from my class. Â I actually didn’t mind the math homework so much because at least it meant I got to socialize with someone. Â But it also depressed me. Â She kept getting messages on her phone from friends and several people she knew stopped to say hi to her as they walked to class. Â And then there’s me, for whom it’s unusual if I get more than a couple texts a week and all the social interactions I’ve had in the past 7 months can be counted on my hands. Â I miss Amber more […]
I texted one my of my “friends” this morning, even though I was mad at him because he can’t seem to ever find time for me. Â He doesn’t respond to texts, never calls me even when he says he will, and those rare times he does manage to call me he can never seem to stay on the phone long, always something like “oh my friend is here” or “my ride is here.” Â I was hoping that maybe he could somehow find time to call me today. Â After I text him he tries to call me but since I’m in class I can’t answer it, […]
I spent most of my math class trying not to cry. Â of course, that means I only waited until I got home. Â and now, I don’t even know what to do with myself. Â I have plenty of school work to do or catch up on, but I just can’t do it right now. Â I can’t function right now. Â and no one even notices. Â My so-called friends don’t bother to talk to me. Â I’m lucky if they respond to my e-mails or texts at all. I don’t want to try anymore. Â I’m so tired of trying, and it just gets worse and worse. Â I had to […]
Hello to everyone reading my post. I only have two more days that I am able to access my computer, so please share any thoughts you would like. I will not be offended. I lost my fiance to his choice of the exit bag on September 15th of 2011. I was completely blindsided as we were happy and making plans. I woke up to police calls, investigations, and a lot of texts from him declaring his everlasting love. The funny thing is I was always the destined one to go, I believe in a life for a life, and would have gladly given mine. He was […]
i have had many suicide attempts, and i will share them all eventually, but this is one of the more recent ones, and it is the one that disturbs me most..
i had been feeling bad for a while, things were getting on top of me, i was living with my boyfriend in a really cramped flat, it was summer, and a few things happened, i had a minor fit of paranoia when my friend tripped me up at the pub he didnt mean to, yet i saw it as he did, i was feeling abandoned, and lonely, i didnt want to be with my boyfriend […]
I have a big problem telling fantasy from reality. And no i don’t there are like fairy puff princesses everywhere. i just had a really horrible friend that she ended up using me, and so it was fake but all the while i thought we were truly friends. That was one of many things that has lead me into deep depression, i cut, burn, and think about killing myself… there’s a lot more to the story, but i cannot go there, because i cannot come to terms with the past… i am fifteen the only boyfriend i have ever had dumped me because it was […]
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