Tag:

the house

My life at 64 years old…

by NotAttentionSeeking 11/5/2015

written by NotAttentionSeeking

So I’m 64 now and my whole life has gone by and I’ve got nothing to show. I’m still living in my parents house. I never left. I can’t afford my own apartment because I don’t have a job. I haven’t worked in over 27 years. I still havn’t had a single boyfriend at my age. I just live in my own little bubble. Get up, watch some YouTube. Go back to sleep is my routine. I am a fat slob because I have no motivation to get out of the house.

Okay so I’m not 64 yet but this is practically my life as it […]

11/5/2015 10 comments

I did it!!

by abisslover25 11/3/2015

written by abisslover25

I went out on a first date tonight. Which means I left my bed for the first time in a week. I’m not wanting a relationship and even though the guy and I are total opposites it was nice to get out of the house and have some fun. That’s a huge step for me. I seriously haven’t put on real clothes in months and rarely leave my house. Thank god for Chinese delivery. I feel weird coming home because while I did have fun all I wanted was to be back home in my bed with the iPad. It’s my safe place and no […]

11/3/2015 7 comments

Birthdays

by emma15 10/15/2015

written by emma15

I’m sitting in my bathroom floor half crying half laughing. plus I drank vodka and i feel really sick.

So today is my birthday. And i used to love birthdays. As a kid i had a lot of friends. Now i have like 2 best friends. They suckkkkkkk

I decided for my 15th birthday to invite friends for a party. I found where mom hides her alcohol and i stole some of the drinks. Plus moms out of town so i have the house all to myself.

Everyone should have come in 9pm. It’s almost midnight. No one showed up. Not even my best friends. So i’m just […]

10/15/2015 11 comments

We?l im fucked

by ismedyl 10/12/2015

written by ismedyl

Been a while since I posted here… I bought a gun I put it in my mouth and I wanted to pull the trigger but I couldn’t. Anyway at that point I started to see the lighter side of things and now I’m back to the dark and I’ve hit deep space black hole dark. I got a loan for 2500 a month and a half ago and my intention was to go see a woman in Canada that I used to mess around with… You know because we both still have feelings for each other. Well I blew that money at a strip club. […]

10/12/2015 3 comments

by TheLoner2 9/20/2015

written by TheLoner2

i hate being around people, even if its just me and one person. i like my bubble where i dont have to talk to any one i can just sit and go into my own little world and ignore everyone else or at least try to, but when someone is around its like “damn now i have to make awkward conversation with someone who probably wont like me anyway.” and dont get me in a crowd of people, fuck me ill have a complete mental brake down if i dont have my ear plugs. i cant wait until this is all over. Monday will come […]

9/20/2015 0 comment

I wanted out

by BlondeWig 9/16/2015

written by BlondeWig

The day I attempted, I knew exactly what I wanted. I didn’t care who was hurt and who would be a complete mess if I actually did die. I wanted out. For weeks before I was under so much stress from my mother. Everything was always my fault. Everything. The night before I attempted, I stayed out til 4 am with my boyfriend having one of the best nights in my life. When I finally came home, with 1% on my phone battery, I was locked out. She locked me outside in the downpour thunderstorm, frozen cold.

I managed to get my phone one long enough to […]

9/16/2015 7 comments

When you thought life couldn’t get any worse

by Lsari 9/16/2015

written by Lsari

It turns out it does.

How the hell do people find any will to do anything, I don’t understand. One guy told me to “wake up”, I understand what he was saying and I agree with him but I just can’t find anything inside me that has even an iota of positive will.

I can’t understand how people are able to go about their daily lives, am I the only one as fucked as I am? Of course not.

I’ve started doing an online course in programming, to try and regain that lost knowledge I had a year ago but I’m supposed to move out of the house by […]

9/16/2015 7 comments

Another autumn

by Trix 9/14/2015

written by Trix

I wish I could hear him say:
‘I’m with (her) and happy.
You’re forgiven for being a ****.
I’ve changed.
I’m alive. Are you?’

If he’d changed things, I could let go.

If I didn’t think of him, the depression wouldn’t be as painful – but that’s what’s bringing me back here. Remembering feeds the depression each time it gets worse. Before that, it was getting easier.

I’m getting more suicidal. I can’t and won’t kill myself, so I just have to try to accept it and work around it.

I can’t sleep again. I think I’m getting ill. I’m too hot and cold.

I crashed again today and came […]

9/14/2015 2 comments

social anxiety question

by Mark_1981 9/6/2015

written by Mark_1981

I have a question for those who suffer from social anxiety or variations of such. My question is a matter of how the world is seen to you, through your eyes. For me I want to lay in bed with my eyes closed, alone in my thoughts. I prefer to have someone that I know in the background but they remain just that, in the background. I tend to be aloof though I don’t mean to be… walking around the house can seem overwhelming at times, there is simply too much information. On that front, the world is data to me and I’m […]

9/6/2015 8 comments

We’ve (I’ve) Got Issues

by kathunt15 9/5/2015

written by kathunt15

Everyday now you hear stories of people who are so upset, depressed tortured, bullied, and how they in their lives so shortly and swiftly and how everyone around them is so effected by their choice and how cruel and selfish they were to take their lives as they did. Honestly, I can’t help but feel like they are the lucky ones. They’re the ones who’ve realized what to do how to help themselves they know their way out. People have always said that suicide is a sin. I want to make it very clear that suicide is not a sin. God would not so harshly […]

9/5/2015 0 comment

I thought I was gonna get a drink today..

by wndozh8er 9/2/2015

written by wndozh8er

unfortunatly I don’t gave the money to get a cab or pay for it. My aunt is gonna allow me to get drinks on Friday. At least I’m lucky in that reguard. This is the last two weeks of my life, I wanna get drunk and pop pills ya know. I wanna be freed up to do what ever the heck I wanna do until the time comes. Don’t know how I’m gonna sneak vodka into the house. Guess I’d have to put it in my underwear as silly as that sounds as long as the bottle can fit. Guess for now I’ll stick to popping […]

9/2/2015 2 comments

everything that’s happened and everything that’s happening

by lostinthemotions 8/24/2015

written by lostinthemotions

So where do I even begin? Well, I signed up for this website so I guess I should explain why. Currently, I am not thinking about suicide, but I have in the past and fairly recently thought about how I would do it, why I would do it, who I would hurt and so forth, and then I realized that if anything happened to me, no one would know why, so here I am. Telling all of you what I can’t tell anyone in person.

I’m 15, I turn 16 in three weeks. I have a job that’s pretty mediocre, get good grades, I’m what you […]

8/24/2015 8 comments

Suffocating

by Yours, Forever and Always 8/15/2015

written by Yours, Forever and Always

I’m suffocating.

I don’t know any other word for it.

I’m slowly suffocating in this life and I’m dying inside.

My mother asked me today, “Would you mind if I smoke?”

She knows that I HATE when she smokes. I’ve tried to help her stop smoking for the past 13 years and it seems like every time I think she;s getting better, she’s just faking it.

She told me she hopes that I can forgive her.

But how can I forgive a hypocrite? When I started smoking, she almost threw me out of the house. When I […]

8/15/2015 6 comments

What now

by noroots 7/25/2015

written by noroots

3 months ago my fiance and I got into a fight and he pushed me. We had been together 9 years and nothing like this had ever happened before. We have a son together and he is truly the love of my life. I was freaked out when he pushed me and called my mother to come get us. This was the biggest mistake I could have made. The next morning I woke up in my mothers house still upset from the fight. She was being very pushy with me and ended up calling an expensive lawyer and the police without my consent. She embellished […]

7/25/2015 3 comments

A story

by alonelybird 7/5/2015

written by alonelybird

I glanced up at my alarm clock, the time was 1:13 am. It was time to go. I put my shoes on and got my jacket. I creeped slowly down the stairs and took an apple from the kitchen and put it into my pocket. Downstairs I pulled out the nail that holds the windows in place and crawled outside. It was a nice night, quite calm and the moon was bright but obscured by clouds. I walked up the side of the house that I lived in and started pissing behind a tree. I looked up the road a bit and admired how the […]

7/5/2015 0 comment

Losing sleep

by deerdezz 6/27/2015

written by deerdezz

Ive started hearing voices again at night, without any real cause. They whisper my name and other little things to hushed to really make out. Its still taunting though, always enough to catch my attention and startle me. I really hate it. It makes me question what reality is, whose really there…I know its all in my head but its so hard to ignore. So hard to push away.

They keep trying to get me to do things. I cant function anymore…i cant be social anymore. I hate even stepping out of the house. I dont even feel safe when i sleep. What is actual sleep […]

6/27/2015 2 comments

Humpty Dumpty

by LooneyLou 6/24/2015

written by LooneyLou

I moved out of my mum’s house to get away and have a chance at living. There I was falling behind in school, and I had to raise both of my siblings and take care of them even though one was three years older than me. I did all the house work, cooking, and cleaning. I played Mum because no one else cared. Finally, ten months ago, I moved out and in with my aunt and cousins. I don’t know which place is worse. Everyone here hates me. I’m the ***** that moved in and ruined everybody’s life even though I’ve been generous and I […]

6/24/2015 2 comments

11 Things I’m Going to Miss When I’m Gone

by Black_Heart2001 6/18/2015

written by Black_Heart2001

The sound of rain hitting the glass and pavement
Using my authority as Student Council President to scare off other students
Touching the wall after swimming 200 Fly and realising I won
Swimming the medley relay with our team – The Ultimate Team – and getting 5th in the country
Having my parents yell at me when I forget to wear slippers in the house
Dancing in the graveyard
Perfectly executing an aerial cartwheel at the ShaoLin Wushu Festival
Shaking hands with the conductor as the First Chair Flute
Doing a ‘Csardas’ duet with my boyfriend on violin and me on flute
Playing out all my frustration and sorrow on the piano and flute
Telling […]

6/18/2015 3 comments

Complicated Situation

by KH 6/10/2015

written by KH

So I managed to stay the whole day at school today, which made it a promising day. What was bad was what came after it.

I don’t know if it’s just me causing all of these problems in my relationship or if it’s naturally strenuous because of how me and my boyfriend are. Regardless, I got pretty upset today. To cut a very long, ongoin story/conversation short; I don’t believe he is making enough effort in our relationship. We never do anything, and all I’ve asked him is that one night when the majority of people aren’t there if we just take a walk down to […]

6/10/2015 0 comment

First Post

by hulahoop 6/10/2015

written by hulahoop

I am fifty-one. I can’t believe I am still here because I never wanted to live. I want to die. I feel badly when I hear about people dying when they wanted to live and had a lot to live for because I continue on with almost no will to live. I will probably live to be ninety unless I intervene. I’ve wondered if living is my punishment.

Nobody gives a shit. I hear about people who drop dead, and nobody notices for weeks, months, and even years. I worry about that happening to me. Luckily I don’t have any pets.

I must be a terrible person […]

6/10/2015 4 comments

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