This is not the end it’s only the beginning everyday I live I feel I die more inside depression is a curse I feel so broken I feel damaged I’m tired of living tired of trying to live pain is my life it’s to hard to live like this
Have you ever felt like banging your head on a wall till it splits open? I’m just tired of trying to explain what is going on in my head. it feels as if there are three people living in my head, the goody two shoes, the evil bastard and last the one who just does not give a fuck. To be honest, the last one is the one i feel most comfortable with, the other two are just facades of an outward nature. Why cant i feel happiness? what the fuck is wrong with me, why is it that i cant find a smile in […]
No one can adequatly explain what i’ve been through, not even I. The stress, trauma, isolation… the daily thoughts that run through my head. I already know that I simply won’t make it for much longer let alone old age. I’m tired of life and want to sleep.
I met with my 3rd therapist who confirmed, yet again, that my life’s experiences fall outside of the normal paradigm. It isnt so much that these things occured but rather the psychological impact of such. I’m tired of trying. So very very tired.
really bring out the darkness inside me. I try so fucken hard to excel to be a better person in spite of all the fucked up things that are my life. I try to be more understanding, forgiving, helpful, kind but GOD WTF is the point?!!!! People abuse the fuck out of that!!! WHY!??? I’m tired of trying to be the exception of trying to be one of the good people left but it is truly exhausting and hard and I want to give in. Seriously fuck it I’ll just be a selfish asshole like everyone else in the world. I have feelings for someone […]
Ever since I was 13, I’ve had varying cycles of depression. They used to be pretty mild, nothing to make me want to do anything irrational. But my depression reached an all time high last year when I was 16, and I seriously consider suicide every day for a long time. The only reason I’m still alive is because I was too afraid of the physical pain.
The reason why my depression spiked was because I had found out that my best friend never had any trust in me at all and that she never really cared about me. I also began having confusion with my […]
I am tired of everything. Tired of going to school everyday and have bad grades because I can’t focus. Tired of making efforts to have friends and in the end being alone again, tired of trying, tired of keep going, tired. I am tired of living, breading, eating, sleeping and being tired.
They say it’s because I am shy that I don’t have friends, well I try and yet the exclude me. I try to talk but or it goes wrong or they talk over me or I am just ignored. And I can be like one month without talking to anyone that nobody searches for me […]
I’m 15 years old and I want to die. Today (I guess yesterday now) l told my sister that I didn’t want to live anymore. I also spent most of the day sleeping because I didn’t want to be awake.
Is it bad that all of my friends are moving on and they don’t care about me? I guess my friends and me included are “popular” and I don’t want to be friends with other people? I’ve been feeling left out for a while now. But does that make me a bad person that I choose not to reach out to other people because of […]
There are only a handful of things keeping me from doing it, and they’re all people. My wife, whom I don’t want to leave to pick up my shit. My little brother, who will be so confused. My parents, who will be ravaged. My employees, who will not understand.
But the reasons not to are starting to be outweighed by the feeling that I need to do it.
I feel like the moments where I think about doing it are the only moments of clarity in my life and that everything else is fake.
I think that the fact that I don’t want to do it, but feel […]
Hello everyone!!! I am really depressed. I have been thinking about killing myself for about a week now. Really it’s been going on for months, but lately I can’t help but think (why am I still here). Loft a week I wake up in deep emotional pain and physical pain and think “Why?!” Why am I trying to hold onto another horrible day.
I’m divorced, sad, lonley, and depressed. I don’t like it here anymore and I don’t see the point of living. I don’t have any family and so it really wouldn’t matter. Plus now that I’m divorced and alone, I’m not sure if I […]
Thats not a typo. Its something my grandpa used to say and I would try to answer it for hours. Some things have no answer. Sometimes no matter how hard you try you will never get the desired results. Somethings make no sense. Im tired of trying to find an answer and am now content just letting things be. Im in a rough spot right now, worse off than ever. I havent given up yet. Gimme another week though and we’ll see if I still have the strength to carry on.
Every time I just crash into a deeper depression
The thought of death is soothing. I don’t want to die but I’m afraid of being alive. I’m afraid I’m never going to get out of this. I’m afraid of everything and I want to be alone for a long, long time away from everyone. Everything feels meaningless. Even loving or helping people sounds meaningless. I can’t find a point. I’m tired of trying.
Epiphany!
I was rambling on in the comments of Tristeza’s post when I finally hit bottom and realized why I’m so unhappy and want to die. The gist of what I was saying is that life is nothing more than a dream and that when we die, our minds are erased from reality permanently. All of the information that our brains are holding onto is erased when it shuts down for good. The person that you think you are (Tom, Dick, Jane etc) is little more than a function of the brain, and so when the brain dies, you die too.
As in a dream, I’ve […]
This is the last place that I’m willing to share my thoughts. I’m tired of trying to help people understand how I feel about life; it’s a waste of a breath. As a self-professed nihilist, one of the big rules that I live by is that “it doesn’t matter what other people know”. Trying to convince anyone of anything is a waste of breath. Just leave them all to their own meaningless thoughts and I’ll stick to mine.
But here, I’m as close to being around comrades as I’ll ever be. Even though I feel half dead from a viral infection in my chest, that
I recently received my PhD in chemical engineering, I have a job in a good company and earn a decent salary. I’ve also been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I’ve never had a girlfriend although everybody says I’m a catch. Anyways I fell in love last week with a girl who’s way above me. She told me she loved me too. A week later she wants nothing to do with me. Now a normal dude would move on but every woman I have liked/loved had deserted me. Cold shoulder style. Is it okay if I just end it? I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of my […]
Every day feels less meaningful and I’m trying so hard to be positive but I feel like I’m just wearing down. I pretend to be happy around people and the only ones who I can tell about how empty I feel is my counselor and my mom, but she rolls her eyes and gets irritated when I bring up these things. I don’t have any relationships that have any degree of intimacy. I just want to be able to be honest with someone and to be myself. I’m tired of waiting for it to happen though and I just want to be happy without needing things […]
Its been a while since I have made a post, but here I am again.
I hate the way the regrets keep piling up, it’s just feels suffocating, and every time I replay the situations over and over again until I break. Every time it just makes me want to run away to a place where no one knows me.
I’m tired of being alive.
I’m tired of trying to breathe in this suffocating world.
I just want to die.
Every single fucking time its the same thing and the same feelings.
It just takes some small insignificant thing to set me off.
Why the hell was I ever born.
Every since i was little i have had this feeling of something being missing or broken inside. Elementary school was okay because i wasn’t self aware enough to understand what i felt. I cried every day of middle school because i was weird poor and ugly and everybody i liked hated me. Writing that sounds so over dramatic but i think thats one of my problems too. I feel things so deeply. I dont know if its deeper than others but love and hate and sadness consume me when i feel them. I start operating off feelings and logic goes out the window. High school […]
I’m sending up a prayer
To the emptiness up stairs
I cry in desperation
And hope that someone hears
I’ve been taught so much
About clinging to my fears
And how a single touch
Can dry up every tear
Who is my saving grace
Does my hero have a name
Should I be looking to myself
To numb all of my pain
I’m tired of trying
Id rather hold your hand
I wouldn’t feel like dying
If someone tried to understand
i want to give up. im not even sure life is worth living anymore. so sick of always feeling like im worthless. sometimes i wonder if anyone would even notice i was gone.
Newer Posts