another (very short) poem for today:
how do i soften the memory of you
like fingerprints on glass
barely, barely, barely there
a whisper left behind
today wasn’t the best but i hope everyone else is doing well
I had an abortion. It was years ago. I must have just turned 18. THERE I said it. He was horrible. He..hated me and everything that I was. He was rich and I was poor. He was white and I’m..what I am. I couldn’t do it. He contacted me today to remind me of the anniversary. It tore me apart, the things he said about status, and wealth.
Damn it’s hard to try live like normal people I feel myself slowly slipping back into that dark place been trying to fight it and I still will but time will tell how things will go how is everyone doing today u know when u got so much on your mind that your mind goes blank and your body is on autopilot that’s how I feel
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I am so tired of feeling this way. I want to try medicine again so that I can function and not be crying all the time. I called out of work today and tried to set up a therapist and psychiatrist appointment but all the psychiatrists in my healthcare network (I literally called every one) are not taking new patients or have no availabilities. I was sobbing on the phone as I heard no after no…
However I was able to set up a therapist appointment for today. I haven’t gone to therapy in about two years but I have been feeling so suicidal and isolated […]
Hello. This is my first post. I guess I have a lot on my mind. I’m really tired. My parents were having another conversation behind my back. The usual. I’m kind of a disappointment to them. I flipped a coin today to see weather I would kill myself. Heads I keep going. It landed on heads. I doubt I would’ve done anything if it landed on tails. I stopped having these thoughts for a while. They kind of resurfaced. Its been a few weeks now. My head is throbbing. Made a fake email so I could sign up. If my parents found out it would […]
Its a very rare time when i am utterly full of happiness, but today is one of those days. Thank God.
This year I can only pick out about a handful of happy days and I’m so glad today is one of them. Im going to see my best friends today and have fun.
I dont really have a specific reason for making this post, I guess for myself. Left as a reminder that not all my days are bad, and i will have more of them.
A message from Happy Kat to Sad Kat.
I love you Sad Kat, Love,
Happy Kat
I think, my mind is ready. I have been constantly thinking about suicide for, I can’t remember how long. And I tried to get better but only got steadily worse. Now instead of dreams where I am killed by other people, for the last 5 days it is myself that is throwing themselves into the void over and over again.
I have an outdated suicide note in my nightstand. Written a couple of weeks ago… not sure if I should revise it last minute or tear it up completely.
I feel no words could explain why I want to off myself. I failed to convey it to them […]
Im gonna die today.
Nobody carez,
Happy birthday, me.
🙂
I just found this site today and as a result, I have to skip my Day 40. I’m counting down, counting down to the day I might do it. I don’t know if I’ll get through with it because honestly at this point I’m kinda scared. Scared that I might not succeed and cause more burden to the people around me. Scared of how it’d feel like, the process of dying. There’s still that small part of me that hopes that everything will be okay again but that’s been overshadowed. Today seems to be better. Not brighter, just slightly better than yesterday but don’t be […]
I board my horses with a horse rescue and I frequently help them out with their rescue horses and things like that.
They found a home for a horse that would have otherwise gone to slaughter, but horses in kill pens have to be kept in quarantine because there are my illnesses that get spread around in the kill pen that you don’t want spread to your other horses. This particular horse was pregnant. We went out to check on her and found that she had gone into labor a month early, but her baby was stuck and dead, with the legs and head sticking out […]
The title says it… we’ve only been together for 9 months, but everyday was a blessing.
Yesterday, first thing in the morning (right after I text her good morning), i wake up and see a text from my best friend sent at 3 in the morning. It was a suicide note… as depressing as thinking your best friend killed herself (i found out later that day she failed), i tried really hard to stay somewhat in an okay mood. So needless to say, it was already a terrible day, but i didn’t even know how terrible it would soon get…
At about noon, i get […]
So I found my ten pack of blades today…
Suffice it to say, yes I statted cutting again.
At least this time its the leg not arm
And its not the blood I want to see but the pain I want to feel to know that…. that…. thats all I have at this point… I dont know anymore than that right now.
How’s everyone on sp today ? Anyone heard from Ylem ?
I’m not feeling so low today can someone tell me isit wrong to have suicidal thoughts and not feel to act on them ? right now my mind seems to be jumping between the too one day I think I’m going to act on it then another day il be low but not want to act on it for some reason maybe I don’t have the mental energy I don’t no
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Well , today’s not the day, though I wish it was.
Everything is pretty fucked.
A decent size hunk of flesh is missing from my foot. Not sure where it went. Or how/why? But now it’s a big open wound.
Maybe I should just let it get infected and kill me.
I am so tired I couldn’t even finish dinner.
I am going to bed early tonight.
Three people told me my eyes are “glassy” and bloodshot today.
Tomorrow’s dinner will be today’s leftovers.
It’s weird seeing double of everything when I drive.
P.S. Here’s a post that uses the word NAKED at least eight times.
I’m waiting, and today I can’t seem to be patient. I need you, I need your words. I need to read. It’s been dark today. You are mt crutch tonight and I hate myself for letting myself think that way. I don’t need a crutch, what am I doing? I’ve sunk a little more today. It’s been at a constant rate for days.
My own thoughts.
Stop fucking sinking. God, you’re pathetic.