Tag:

Torment

When Will The Suffering End? So Very Tired…

by dreamingsucks 11/11/2015

written by dreamingsucks

Dear whom,

Why is it so tiring? Why? I am abjectly sick of living in this world.

My head is consumed with suicidal thoughts. It screams into my ears, screaming for me to throw my body over a bridge, stab myself with a knife, or hang myself. These thoughts are like a sound, a piercing sound, a frequency that I can only hear. It won’t stop unless my depression can disappear. It is booming into my ears. It is so intense! I can’t stand it. So very tired…

I experience so much agony from this tiredness that befallen on me. I am exhausted to the bones. Unfortunately, this […]

11/11/2015 0 comment

Lost At Sea

by marine105 6/23/2014

written by marine105

There is no order to most of my life.

Just as there won’t be much order to this post; my mind yields only things of its own nature and characteristics.

My poor mind, relatively young yet feeling so old. Worn down, like a war ship incessantly buffeted and berated by the interminable winds howling across the vast expanse of sea and darkness; never letting up, allowing no time for reprieve.

The wood creaks, the boards swell with moisture, and the sails test the very limits of the ropes that hold them, seeming as though they might snap at any moment.

But there is no ship. You know this, as you […]

6/23/2014 3 comments

Blessed are the Fallen…the angels the world tormented….

by Fallen_Crimson_Seraph 12/18/2013

written by Fallen_Crimson_Seraph

So this is my first post on this board. I’ll start by stating that I am not going to even edit this. I’m just going to speak straight from my extremely damaged heart. I often wonder, how many of you are like me? I mean I’m here because yeah, I have thought about suicide. I continue contemplating it.

Why is it that “good people” want to take their own lives? And why is it that society and others are so quick to judge those who have attempted or do commit suicide? Don’t they understand the amount of pain and torment one goes through for them […]

12/18/2013 2 comments

Allow me to vent and don’t mind me

by BurstingBilrost 9/26/2013

written by BurstingBilrost

Fuck it.

Fuck myself, fuck everything.

I’m in a perpetual emotional tilt. Dazed and confused. Head spinning.

Legs shaking. Feel like smashing stuff.

I would be a calm guy, I would. IÂ am thatÂ guy. But have no choice anymore. I’m losing it.

There’s no choice. It all bullshit. Its in me and from the past. Its fatum.

Hey, I believed in peace and justice and all that. But seriously, if I had power, before abolishing this type of financial system, etc, I would FUCKING WHIP everybody first!

Just fucking burn, Just fucking burn.

All nonsense. I have nothing, nothing. Worthy men have died younger than me, so what the fuck? Why do I fucking […]

9/26/2013 1 comment

My story ends here

by LivingDeadSoul 9/9/2013

written by LivingDeadSoul

I was only 6 years old when I was told I was to fat and my grandparents bribed me with $100 to lose 20 pounds… I did but little id I know this was just the beginning to my eating disorder…. Threw out schooling all the kids forced me to go on diets so I would look how they wanted and be like them so they did’t haft to been seen with ugly old me… After a while my parents joined into the torment… for as long as I can remeber I binged my problems away.. around grade 4 I started starving myself to be […]

9/9/2013 3 comments

Fml

by UpsidedownWorld 8/6/2013

written by UpsidedownWorld

There’s not a moment where I think about killing myself/committing suicide. I’ve already tried twice, but I couldn’t do it. I tried to drown myself in the tub. The water was just about up to where my head was at. I put my face/wash towel over my face so I couldn’t breath at all. Then I laid back in the water. I started thinking what if I really did just kill myself right here and now? Would anyone care? I’d finally be free of pain and torment. I doubt I’m going to heaven, if it’s even real. I’m an atheist. Just as I […]

8/6/2013 13 comments

I deserve to die. A happy title.

by TheSlowDecay 7/30/2013

written by TheSlowDecay

How could I be lost, if I’ve got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come its got so cold?
How could I be lost, in remembrance I relive?
And how can I blame you if its me I can’t forgive?

Is there any light? Where is the light?? I keep searching, my eyes might be open, but the light, it seems like its running away, always 1 step ahead of me.

Its within reach, but when I try, it just barely eludes my fingertips.

My soul crys out in anguish and despair.

Like a newborn left in a dumpter yearning for the return of his mother.

The […]

7/30/2013 2 comments

Torment

by Rain 7/16/2013

written by Rain

I am 19. I used to get bullied and sexually abused when I was in elementary school. In middle school, there was no sexual abuse just bullying, but I met Him. We didn’t go to the same middle school, but he lived across the street from me. I was at his house every day when I got out of school. His brother, Him, and I. We were always alone as their uncle and aunt were always out working or partying. Soon, it was only he and I..together alway. We went to the same highschool and I was bullied no more. He had given me a […]

7/16/2013 3 comments

Suicide..

by Suicidegurl1005 6/6/2013

written by Suicidegurl1005

I have had a really hard life. And I bet a lot of you people reading this have had one too. But not all.. This is my story…

Hi, I am a fourteen year old girl who has been humililated, tortured, and bullied my whole life. I don’t have friends. I am very anti-social. I am home schooled because of everything that has happened. I am only in 8th grade. And My life is a complete hell. I have been bullied for about 9 years now, since the day I moved here. I used to here people in the hall ways, and I was just a […]

6/6/2013 1 comment

This isn’t suicide. It’s euthanasia.

by tupacorbiggie 6/5/2013

written by tupacorbiggie

That’s it. Â It will be a mercy killing if I off myself. Â I’ve been pondering/obsessing over this for 6 years now and I think I’m getting to the point where I need to make a decision or live another 60 years of torment. Â I can’t keep putting this off.

6/5/2013 12 comments

Why?

by WiltedRose 5/10/2013

written by WiltedRose

Every time I go to do this I just stop. Why can’t I do this? Â Why can’t I just form words? Why am I so afraid of the unknown? I hate it when people say that suicide is selfish. You know what’s selfish? Letting someone get so low that its the only option. People don’t understand suicidal people because it’s a torment so agonizing that they can’t possibly imagine going through that type of agony. They don’t understand what it’s like. I can’t do this anymore. Too damaged to live but to cowardly to die. Surrounded by perfect cookie cutter people whos biggest worry in […]

5/10/2013 3 comments

AtTheEnd

by Tormenting Dreams 5/7/2013

written by Tormenting Dreams

dear AtTheEnd- im not going to judge you, seriously i dont judge you. being on a site like this with some many pretty girls does drive ones libido up, and yes its nice to look at the nude body of someone you know. and hey i flirt around and act a perv, and yeah i have had people send me nude pics. but i didnt pester them as much as i have heard you have done. and until recently i thought you were only doing it to one girl but now i know you have done it to several and probably still are. WT and […]

5/7/2013 44 comments

What is Love?

by RUG 5/2/2013

written by RUG

When I was younger, I was molested and beaten almost daily by my older sister who I idolized and looked up to. My parents would blame me for her violent episodes, saying that I provoked her. Whenever I would fight back, I’d be punished, by spankings with a belt, or they would take away things that were important to me.
Later on, my sister told my parents that I was the one who instigated the molestation. It was a very, very shameful night, me, sitting at the table with my family, my sister crying crocodile tears of guilt at 15 years of […]

5/2/2013 4 comments

Too Much

by Mangrove 4/19/2013

written by Mangrove

I want to die soon. I was born with Cerebral Palsy and suffered all the usual torment from other kids when I was growing up. I struggled to get a job but never gave up. I managed to live a fairly “normal” life. Girls were happy to ride in my boat or on my bike or get a lift in my car – but date? Never! I finally found a desperate woman and married, had two kids who she abused (along with abusing me) and eventually I left her. I had a good job, had respect, self-esteem and was happy to start again. Now at […]

4/19/2013 1 comment

Why does the word hurt?

by HenryDavid 4/17/2013

written by HenryDavid

Why does the world hurt?

I look upon others, and I see all the hurt

I tell myself that it’s gone; but that is an outrageous lie

Why are they still hurting; I ask myself.

My parental instincts go forth to thee;

And I try to protect those that hurt by feeling their pain for them;

but if anything they writhe in agony more.

Why do people have to hurt other people?!

Why do adults hurt children? Why do adults hurt adults?!

Why do some not have morals in their lives…

I read all of the pain and suffering

I read of all the murders and crime. I hear of all the struggles.

I cry and pray. […]

4/17/2013 6 comments

The Boy With The Lies

by fallenangel48 3/3/2013

written by fallenangel48

We are gathered here today, brought together by sadness and a young girlâ€™s demise

A conclusion reached because of the boy with the lies

Her told her things each day, no one should have to hear

So often in fact, she lived in constant fear

She no longer looked forward, always looking back

Building up her defenses for the boy’s next attack

Day in and day out she heard the boy with the lies

Make fun of everything- from her feet to her eyes

Even the way that she walked was absurd

She remembered every mean thing she heard

Even when she was alone, […]

3/3/2013 8 comments

I have nobody, I have nothing left to go on

by alinsanity 2/16/2013

written by alinsanity

I’m so tired of crying myself to sleep every night. I wake up in the morning crying. When I actually make it into work I fight back the tears until I can no longer take it, at which point I go cry in the bathroom. I’m in college and when I’m at school I managed to keep it together as far as not crying but I don’t hear anything the teacher’s saying. My mind is a clouded mess. I can’t focus on anything school related. All I can focus on is holding the tears back or all the thoughts that are constantly bombarding my mind. […]

2/16/2013 2 comments

by AemsTheHero 2/14/2013

written by AemsTheHero

I want to feel happy again,

I’m sick and tired of this world.

There’s nothing to feel but pain and hatred.

I may have not done much,

but the actions I’ve made are enough.

The bile of hatred rises from the heart,

to break me.

To break me from my small air of hope.

I can never take a breath of relaxation,

I can barely rest without panic.

I want to see myself fall off my balcony,

I picture my blood seeping through my flesh.

I want to have my guts torn from my insides out,

I don’t want to feel this, it only makes me feel alive.

I don’t want to smile, for you.

I want to smile for […]

2/14/2013 0 comment

EsCaPe

by Nothin2Live4 1/23/2013

written by Nothin2Live4

Within this twilight world
Lies emptiness and hate
I seek an epic journey
So that I might escape
Far away from this reality
To a world of ignorant bliss
I come from pain and torment
To embrace salvations kiss
I welcome a moment of hope
As short as it may be
But the hope always fades
And I am left empty

1/23/2013 1 comment

Mindful thoughts

by LaceyFaye 1/18/2013

written by LaceyFaye

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a young woman from work who committed suicide. She was 24, exceptionally talented, well-travelled, enthusiastic, professional and extremely insightful with a social conscience and maturity years beyond her age. Was this womanâ€™s experience similar to mine? I am in my late twenties. When I was 21 I attempted suicide. To others, I had everything to live for. I was healthy and athletic, Iâ€™d been accepted into a highly competitive course at a prestigious university, and my family was loving and supportive. Those around me did not understand the course of my depression and anxiety, and despite my efforts to […]

1/18/2013 0 comment

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