My vacation is over Friday. I don’t even want to get into specifics, but I’ll have more stress and more on my shoulders. I don’t know what this will do to my depression. Before, when I had this stress I had my ex to distract me and make my life feel better. I don’t have that now. I just feel so alone and so overwhelmed.
want
this pain is cold. i want another child but i may not be able to have one. its not fair. my life is so empty.
Hello everyone,
Just to say that I’m here for you all, if you need to talk just do so! And I know most people don’t even want to die, they just want to be saved..
Just email me whenever if you need to talk about anything: anonyme1625@gmail.com
“Death is never a solution”
I’m packing up my life. Tying up loose ends. Cleaning it out. It’s making me really sad actually. Almost like this person has died already and I’m packing up her life.
I know it’s my choice. I can stay if I really want to. I just don’t think it’s an option anymore. But this girl, she seems like she had potential. Seems like she left a big hole it the lives of so many people.
This is hard.
I know that I haven’t been around for awhile…… I’m still alive 🙁 and no I’m not implying that I have attempted to change that…… Meh school things have been fairly stressful, and in addition to getting “help” most of my free time has been spent in bed. I’ve sort of been hanging out with people recently, I think I can call them friends, not certain though. Failing school and stuffs as always, my professors hate me because I am a failure who doesn’t take the classes that they teach seriously and I am simply wasting their time. My “friends” have also all mostly started […]
At first, I unfriended him from facebook, and that hurt. And it’s not that I don’t want to be friends with him. It’s that it hurts too much that I can be so easily replaced and forgotten. But then I deactivated my page. He won’t notice I’m gone. After almost a year and always giving him everything, I don’t fucking matter at all. All that fucking matters to him is someone being under 100 lbs when he’s 300 lbs himself.
I want to fucking kill myself. Half because of him and knowing I’ll always be alone and half because I’m embarrassed to be so fucking ugly […]
Sometimes I feel like you’re just with me because you’re loney and need someone to talk to when it comes to you, but when I need you, you’re not there for me you just say, oh, I’m sorry, but then theres times I feel like you’re actually with me for me but that’s very rare now.. Like when you get mad that i don’t reply or call but that’s because I’m doing something or helping someone but you still get mad regardless which is something I don’t understand but you can do it to me and not expect me to get mad or cry.. […]
I want to die and the urge is so unbearably strong. Right now, I don’t know whether to leave a note, I have no idea what to write and I’m thinking whether it’s okay to just leave the world without a note. I don’t want people who care (if any) to hurt anymore than they should trying to cope with the loss.
I don’t know if I’ve ever been quite this serious about it before. I’ve known I wanted to die since I can remember, even as a child. I’ve been toying with methods since I was twelve. I’ve come close out of anger and extreme sadness, apathy. But I don’t know if I’ve ever been this practical about it. It’s surreal. Like, okay, this is really it. You will cease to exist now. Everyone will still be there and you won’t be. You won’t know how everyone will get on.
It’s kind of like Andy Warhol said. He would rather watch every party he’s invited to on […]
How do I get my hands on antidepressants?
As in, how do I get the psychologist to prescribe me antidepressants? Its literally the only thing I went in for. I want to see if real pills will affect anything overtime, not those, “TODAY I WANT YOU TO TRY AND…”
I want some real, accurate method. Is there any way? What can I say? I don’t want to directly ask, what if they think I’m, I don’t know, forcing it for the wrong reasons? I don’t know at all. It was the main reason why I went for a psychologist. To see if real help will come my […]
It’s weekend, saturday night. It’s 10:54 pm and I’m in my room, in my bed. It’s dark and I have too many thoughts about everything. I think about where I’m in ten years, here? on this planet? alive?
I think back to the situation, when I was at school, my teacher told something about short storys. I thought about situations in my life, when I needed this informations. But i couldn’t find some.
I sit there, every day and waste my time for some stupid things like this. When I will kill myself, why should I go to school anymore? But I’m not sure if […]
so over my short period of life iv had to deal with addictions because of this fucking void that needs to be filled so in high school it was weed I smoked weed everyday to till this fucking dark hole and then after I left college guess what that void needed next alcohol so I went though a period of drinking everyday because that void didn’t like weed no more then the void needed food so I eat and put so a hell of a lot of weight but then the void didn’t need food just the alcohol was enough to keep it filled so […]
Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling the way I do.. I have a good job, good car, people who care about me. But I’m still not happy! And never have been. How pathetic is that? There are homeless people, children starving in Africa, someone dying of cancer right now begging for just another day. And here I am wishing I was never given this “gift” of life, I don’t see the point in it. I often think about suicide, and the only reason I don’t do it is because of my brothers, I don’t want them to feel pain. Idk if that’s selfish or selfless.
Anyways, […]
I don’t particularly want to kill myself, but it has become the only practical solution. I believe some people aren’t meant to make it in this world, and that I am one of them. I learned how to pretend and act normal socially, but I can’t maintain it. When there’s no one telling me what to do, I just sit there, so I find it very hard to pretend to have a personality in a workplace or in order to maintain any human relationship. For a while, it works, because I can listen to other people and run around and have fun, and talk to many […]
So why continue? I’ve heard all the bullshit in many many years of treatment, but the truth is, it really does only get worse. At least when your brain hates you. If I’ve already lived as much as I can given the circumstances, why would I keep going only to experience pain. Those rare moments of fleeting pleasure? That’s not enough. I don’t really feel it anyways. I can play the part, act like I’m enjoying myself, but in the end, I’m empty inside, and theres nothing that can fill it. I’ve made it before, gotten exactly what I thought I needed to make me […]
Broken phone. Broken body. Broken life. Broken relationship. He was the one thing that was good in my life, however deep his problems were too. I didn’t want to say goodbye, but my fate won’t allow it. My body is so broken, there’s not much time.
I tried to overdose on Unisom sleeping medication last night. I have the side effects of an overdose. I don’t know what to do because I have dizziness and it said the following day I would still feel weird. I don’t want my dad to found out or go to the hospital. I am at school and I can’t concentrate. I hope they wear off by tonight or early next morning due to I have a band competion and need to be normal for it.
I want to disappear
I don’t want to kill myself, and I also don’t want to bring any pain to myself.
I just want to be nonexistent. Just pass on by and nobody notices a thing.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t born. Maybe I’m just weird. I feel like I’m not supposed to be here. I don’t belong here.
Everyone else knows that I don’t belong, so why can’t I just fall into the void.
Well.. I dumped my boyfriend. He was a scumbag. Had no respect for me whats so ever. Fuck that guy.
I thought I would be even more depressed from it.
But honestly, I feel 1000 times better.
I feel like that stupid dark cloud has finally fucked off for awhile atleast.
If I knew all I had to do was get rid of him to feel happier, I would have done it a long time ago.
Thankyou asshole ex-boyfriend for teaching me what I never want in my life again. 🙂 YOU.
I’M ME AGAIN
I have just about had enough of this. I am so tired of feeling like I want to take my own life, telling myself that it will pass, feeling a little better, just to be slammed with the same damn feeling all over again. There are times when I realize that maybe I dont really want to die that I just want these feelings and emotions to stop. But its been going on for so long now I really dont think it will ever happen. Im so sick of feeling this way and maybe the only way out is to finally just do it.
Ugh, […]