Tag:

wanted

Worst

by evildandelions 12/16/2015

written by evildandelions

Today, as I wracked with sobs, hiding from my parents and my visiting friend, never have I ever wanted to be dead as much.

I am so angry-sad that, in the first time I can remember, I was so close to being truly happy only to have it snatched away literally weeks before it could’ve happened. I could’ve been not depressed (or significantly less so) and still be engaged to the woman I love. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Even after everything I’ve been through, this might be the worst. Maybe because I was so close to being happy, that it was actually attainable. […]

12/16/2015 2 comments

The Hush Sound – You Are The Moon

by architect 12/15/2015

written by architect

All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas

The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe

I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky

You will see your beauty every moment that you rise

I just wanted to protect her, and everyone else that I cared about, from unhappiness. I know the frigid, bleak nights, and I know how they scrape at your sanity, at your soul.

Today, I found out she’s moved to a different country, and that she wants nothing to do with me. Today, and all foreseeable days, I only have sleep to look forward to. It’s better than nothing. […]

12/15/2015 1 comment

You Are Loved :)

by Dave_N 12/14/2015

written by Dave_N

Hey guys, I just wanted you to know that you are all loved and you are all wonderful people. Keep fighting the good fight. 🙂

12/14/2015 4 comments

It’s still there..

by alina_01 12/12/2015

written by alina_01

whether I want it or not. I don’t want to cut myself nor do I want to die anymore the mere thought seems absurd to me. Sometimes it’s hard to believe I used to want to not only that but I attempted suicide countless times. Yay such a huge step but the truth is I’m still sad inside the only difference is I’d rather live with the sadness than die and feel nothing. I have so many issues that plague me for one I have become emotionally numb that or maybe I haven’t found anyone worth having feelings for. I use sex as some coping […]

12/12/2015 1 comment

TaDB Update (I couldn’t think of a title lol)

by Take a Deep Breath 12/10/2015

written by Take a Deep Breath

So I went to some fancy schmancy doctors in San Francisco to get the results back from my brain scans. He said that the over activity in my brain causing my anxiety was “horrifying” and could only imagine how bad it would’ve been without my current meds. The comparisons between my brain and those of a normal brain are startling in their differences. He’s putting me on yet another medication with supplements- I’m excited but sceptical. I’ve already tried so many meds…. But what have I got to lose? I got so desperate to cut that I took apart my eyeliner pencil sharpener 🙁 It […]

12/10/2015 4 comments

because love is insanity…

by alexia 12/10/2015

written by alexia

you are you and i am me.we could be us…it would be..how can i put this..brilliant would be an understatement.i lose myself in your details and i lose myself more when u tell me that “i love you is because i don t love you yet” . i ask you again..can you see yourself? can u observe yourself like i do? i don t know you…i mean come on…i don t know you but it s enough to hear you…to listen to how you laugh and speak..and to imagine the expression of your face..and i already know i like you. and jesus…i so like you.i […]

12/10/2015 0 comment

Just weird …

by jadedkeizy 12/8/2015

written by jadedkeizy

I am a weird guy. I have weird preferences when it comes to entertainment, all the ideologies I embrace are contrarian, weird sexual tastes ( I am attracted to female hands), fucked up persona, socially inept. I feel like an outcast and I just don’t fit into society as a functional being.

ahh just wanted to vent my insecurities … sigh

….. and I think I am touch deprived … I need to touch shoulders with someone 🙁

12/8/2015 6 comments

My return..

by Cro0kedYoung 12/7/2015

written by Cro0kedYoung

I’ve not had a laptop for a few weeks, which is why I haven’t updated.

This is going to be like full on diary entry material. I hope you don’t mind.

I’m having less and less to say every time I post on here now.. A lot has happened regarding friends recently. Too much to note down. One particular thing though, I’m drifting from my two best friends. I keep screwing up. I don’t want to make this sound like Its all about me, but I have no one else to blame but myself anyways.

I had a boyfriend recently too. Yeah, I know, surprising right? Well, here’s […]

12/7/2015 6 comments

Failed

by CRA2015 12/6/2015

written by CRA2015

I failed you baby, on 1-18-15 I fucked up and I failed you. I wasn’t there for you when you really needed me, my bipolar wasn’t medicated or known yet and I freaked out, I made the worse/stupidest mistake of my life and I kicked you out our house when you needed me. I failed you in every way possible as your man that day, and I failed our lil family… I tore it apart. I’m the reason we’re not together anymore. I got help, I knew something was wrong and I got help…found out I’m bipolar and have anxiety, I go to therapy/ counseling […]

12/6/2015 6 comments

Another Ruined Holiday (Rant, You Don’t Have To Read This..)

by GerbzBaby 12/6/2015

written by GerbzBaby

Halloween sucked. Considering none of my friends wanted to hang out with me and I was left at home with no one to talk to. Now this Christmas I will be suffering under the same situation but with more sleepless nights and unforgiving depression than ever before. My family is going to Disney, the most happiest place on earth or so when it’s with those you love and care about you (my definition of it). Another vacation ruined by our “family friends” and my family’s lack of consideration for how I feel. Another anxiety driven plane ride after the other. “You’ll understand it when we […]

12/6/2015 2 comments

Wet erasers

by No_one_care 12/6/2015

written by No_one_care

If i could erase all my flaws i would…not to be perfect but to be whatever they wanted me to be. I would fix my shattered heart. And i would erase my memory forget all the pain that been stomped into it.
I would let go all the hatred
I would smile just to make someone smile

12/6/2015 1 comment

Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75

by Allitends 12/5/2015

written by Allitends

Hi there. I just want to share my story. I’m kind new around, i’m from Portugal.

Well all my life i have been very negative, in my concept, i call it, realistic. Why do people think positive? do they want to get hitted hard in face when things fall? Anways its just my thing i guess, and im very hard person to motivate, i watch everyone, and they all got a dream, they want to be someone, and have some carrer. The thing is that i never dreamed or wanted to be something, all i asked at my teenager age was someone to connect, guess what, i […]

12/5/2015 21 comments

Protected: .

by Trix 12/4/2015

written by Trix

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

12/4/2015 0 comment

Things I Shouldn’t Say

by Chaucer 12/2/2015

written by Chaucer

You could have never known, and things would be no different. I tried to stay in touch; I made it clear I valued your friendship. I know life can be busy, and when so many people are on the edge of depression it’s hard to get excited about anything at all.

Even a person.

You’re forgiven for that, just like you always have been. I’ve never been known for a shortage of apologies after all; but you don’t get to pretend you just lost me.

You lost a little of me when I told you that secret, the one I could barely face myself, and you made me […]

12/2/2015 3 comments

What would I say?

by outinthedark 11/29/2015

written by outinthedark

If someone asked me why I want to kill myself, why I want to be dead, what would I say? I don’t have a real reason anymore. I know I can fix things in my life to get better. I have someone helping me figure out my future. I have goals in my life. I want to start a family. I want to write a book. I want to be a teacher. But I also want to kill myself. I don’t know the reason anymore for it. There are small issues in my life, but I’m trying to fix them. I am. I’m trying so […]

11/29/2015 3 comments

maybe life isn’t made for someone like me

by PSYCHOBITCH 11/29/2015

written by PSYCHOBITCH

i feel completely empty like i have gave up on bothering to even stay alive anymore because i just cannot find a purpose to try anymore on getting better, i just want to be dead i want the pain to suddenly stop and for all the problems to suddenly disappear and then people will realize how desperate i was and that i just couldn’t fight anymore. i am fifteen years old and clinically diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, and every single day i am made to get on with all my problems and try and constantly fight my own battles by myself.

when i was five […]

11/29/2015 9 comments

Never Going to be Fucking Good Enough for you, am I?

by Take a Deep Breath 11/28/2015

written by Take a Deep Breath

No I’m not your son and I’m not a total car guru and whatever works for your bipolar episodes doesnt always work for me and you pick on me all the fucking time and I already know, ok, I ALREADY FUCKING KNOW I’M THE WORLD’S GREATEST PIECE OF SHIT FOR A DAUGHTER SO PLEASE, PLEASE JUST KEEP RUBBING IT IN. I know I forget and I am not always home and I’m SO SO SO SORRY!! I don’t know how to be the child you want, ok?I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW. And I just try to get away […]

11/28/2015 23 comments

things never change

by Harlot.Rebel 11/27/2015

written by Harlot.Rebel

Im officially dead inside. Walked to the bridge and wanted to jump. I walked to the train tracks and thought the same thing. Im suicidal again and that makes it harder to fuckn deal with being depressed i cant wait to kill myself. To be free of all this pain. Now i have to cut so i can chill out enough to sleep.. I hope i never wake up

11/27/2015 3 comments

I got scared…

by Ylem 11/25/2015

written by Ylem

It’s been over 3 weeks since I last hurt myself. Last night, I felt so shitty all I wanted to do was pick up my scalpel blades and slash away at my thighs. I thought I should read a few stories about other people who self-harm. I really want to stop, but I just can’t.
I sat in my bed with the blade in my hand. The stories I had read started playing out in my head. I felt the shit I think I’m in is nothing compared to what other people are going through. But I still wanted to cut.
Usually, cutting makes me […]

11/25/2015 3 comments

My parents are my worst enemies

by The Living Dead 11/24/2015

written by The Living Dead

I can’t take it anymore. I’m all alone all the time. I have no friends. Even my parents are against me. I can’t talk to anyone, but I yearn so much for a bit of understanding. My parents have abused me since I was little. They made fun of my looks, my behaviour, my friends (I had few when I was younger) and the things I liked even though I tried to be the perfect daughter. I stopped liking the things they didn’t like, I kept my room clean most of the time, I learned to get only A’s in school, I was polite to […]

11/24/2015 7 comments

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