I am so worthless
Just a waste of space
No one is ever gonna give me time in their day, I have no future no motivitation to continue my dreams.
Never worth anyone’s full time or commitment.
Tag:
waste
I really haven’t been on here for some months now because I thought it was just a waste of time…But it was a while back an I just got into this mood where I didn’t communicate with anyone I stayed in my room everyday I didn’t even leave to go anywhere, I just want to get back into that mode because me communicating n forgiving is making me miserable every single day and I don’t say anything I just play along with the joy everyone thinks I have…..
I have never been alright and I never will be alright.
And tonight I lack the strength to even move
When you walked, now watch me die
But I know this is harder for you
For love has let you down and come on
And no, you’re not alone
And the road ahead is lined with broken dreams
So walk, yeah, walk on by
And I failed to give you everything you need
For the fear’s behind your eyes
When I cant feel you
I’m not alright, not alright
When I cant heal you
I’m not alright, I’m not alright, I’m not alright
When I cant feel you
I’m […]
This will be my 2nd post here…. it is quite long, read at your own time, speed, risk, whatever………
I honestly do not see life getting any better for me, it might have been around 2 weeks since my last post and I should give more time for my life to “improve.” I have yet to find the right person to talk to about my problems in life, I do not want to talk to a counselor about it because I have tried that many times while I was in middle school and not only did it not help at all, they said your typical cliche […]
I heard from an old friend again yesterday. He’s this 20 year old kid who has a hard time dealing with life and figuring out what he wants and who he is. I’ve known him since he was 16 but never met in person because he lives way too far away. He looks up to me for advice and such but he will talk to me for a few days then disappear for months on end, leaving me to feel like I can’t rely on him coz he’s just a kid. He waited until he was 18 to tell me that he liked me and […]
I think… feel… know I’m worthless. This feeling of worthlessness does not solely originate from external factors. I’m a lazy sonofva, an unmotivated fool, a academically inept, and pretty much a waste of space of a human being. Those are some the sources of my pitiful wanting to end it all. However, as weird as it may sound, when I “tried” to actually “end it”, at the moment of knowing it will all be over, I felt joy, relief, and “not” depressed. Obviously I am still alive evidenced by me typing and sharing this and also I’m not in a hospital or any medical institution. […]
I’ve been sick my whole life… Ever since I was two years old I was sick. I was diagnosed with type one diabetes at the age of two, and it’s been hard for me to cope with my entire life… I was bullied during elementary school not only by students but also by teachers… And then I went to high school where I thought things would get better. They were basically the same but on a larger scale. I fell in love with a boy, I really fell in love. He was my everything and we were together for nearly two years… He left and […]
I’ve never wanted to kill myself more in my life.
I just feel like a giant roadblock in everyone’s way. My stress is tearing my body apart and we can’t afford insurance for medical care so that’s just another burden on my family. I feel like a waste of life and space and money and energy. I want to disappear. Run away. Die.
Just be out of the lives and out of the way of the ones I love.
After all, they’re going places and I’m not. I’m just dead weight.
Last night I had the most triggering dream ever. I’ve been thinking all day about it and this is the most depressed I’ve felt in a while. Also, because of this, today I planned to tell my mum about it but then my brother decided to tag along. I didn’t tell her, probably never will. What a failure of a person, what a waste of space.
-V
This job did its job. It took me some to understand what has fallen through. I was freaking out initially because such changes always seem terrifying at first. I recalled a post of mine where I wrote that I can’t follow my way because I have to bear the burden of sustaining my body/ I feel obligation towards my parents/ I hate society and can’t help influence of people while interacting with them. It now seems that all these things were direct or indirect products of my not having a job. I am saying that because these things are vanished now, I no longer feel […]
This is the last place that I’m willing to share my thoughts. I’m tired of trying to help people understand how I feel about life; it’s a waste of a breath. As a self-professed nihilist, one of the big rules that I live by is that “it doesn’t matter what other people know”. Trying to convince anyone of anything is a waste of breath. Just leave them all to their own meaningless thoughts and I’ll stick to mine.
But here, I’m as close to being around comrades as I’ll ever be. Even though I feel half dead from a viral infection in my chest, that
is being alive but wishing to die. To be in so much mental and emotional pain that life loses meaning. It’s sad to constantly expect the worst from people and feeling guilty when you’re wrong and realize that people can surprise you. We live in our own hells that we’ve created for ourselves so lost in our own pain that we can’t focus long enough to figure a way out. I am free of many pains that I thought I would never stop feeling. I care for myself in ways I couldn’t even dream of, this time I’m not just saying it. I have sadness […]
I can’t take anymore of this life. I can’t take the back and forth feeling of being happy to being depressed/suicidal. I don’t want to keep getting like I don’t belong anywhere and that I am a worthless waste of space. Please someone just kill me already because I am unable to do it myself.
Hun… 🙂
Here I am. Finally writing.
It’s been 3 or 4 years.
I don’t remember.
This is the good part. These days I don’t remember anything.
Everytime some feel something inside me. I can’t put this in words.
Emptiness. (Maybe)
As I said I can’t put this into words.
Please don’t pity on me. I am very bad person. I did some awful things in life. Which I regret very much. I feel guit everyday every moment.
Yes I do want to die.
But I can’t.
I have a girlfriend. She is the reason I can’t die.
Mother, sister…. are also the reason.
I have faced alot. I know. I know everything. Then why I am so […]
I recently have been feeling more screwed up than usual. I am honestly amazed that I haven’t been asked to leave my house. I am making my family’s life miserable, but they still attempt to love me. I wish that I could be a better person. We all know that it’s my fault that my family’s a mess at this point. I literally am a waste of space.
There are only a couple things keeping me on this earth:
1. My friend and her mom. They are the nicest people I have ever met, and they are […]
I don’t see hope. I see pain, and a lot of it. I hear voices, and I am exhausted. My life is a couch, and a walk, and sometimes I can eat, and get to places, and sometimes I can’t. No family cares, no church cares, basically, nobody cares, and so I’m saying goodbye soon. Because there has to be some place better than this filthy and disgusting planet full of chemicals and all kinds of horrific things that I can barely stand to live in anymore. The humans have made this planet a waste heap of despair and agony for too many, and I […]
I have a wife and a great mam and dad. I feel selfish for wanting to kill myself as I know it will finish these people. I have tried tablets before and ended up in hospital for a day or so! I was 23 at the time, unhappy with my friends, my job and being lonely! am no longer alone but lately (last two years) I’ve just hit rock bottom. I’ve made it to 32 years old and feel the world as nothing more to show or offer me! I feel emotionless writing these words as I’ve heard them in my head so many times […]
I’m such a fucking waste of space. How could anyone love a girl who can’t even love herself? Who cares about a girl who scars her own skin? There’s no pretty way to tell you I want to die. I just want to feel something other than hate and emptiness. I dream about taking a bottle of pills, slitting my wrists, but part of me wants it to be an accident, so I don’t seem like the coward I am. If a car hit me, it would be a blessing. A few years ago, I would of told you that I felt beautiful, strong, popular. […]
The music I always loved to hear lost their charm.
The DXM I treated as substitutes for real anti-depressants have lost their appeal.
I no longer linger in anticipation waiting for the next part of the show/comic I follow.
I don’t even feel excited at the prospect of having a family in the future anymore; now it just sickens me knowing that there is a possibility that I may give birth or raise a child that would end up as fucked up as I am. It frightens me that the person I would be with in the future would suffer because of my mental issues.
Besides, if I off […]
There’s something that has been bugging me lately, and I would like some of your advices here.
One of my biggest problems is that I’m a nobody (or at least I feel like it). If I died today no one would know who the hell I was or they would forget about me pretty quickly. I have friends, but I often feel like I’m left apart, or that I don’t fit in. And there are a lot of people who I’d like to talk to or I would have liked to, but they don’t even know I exist. People who […]