I’m soooo fucking stupid.. Why did i do it? So i was talking to this guy& i thought he really liked me. He started to ignore me for 4 days. & so i was like wtfe imma go get high, So i had an older guy friend pick us up & take us tol go get some weed.. he told us all he didn’t have a girlfriend.. & i made out with him, he forced his hands down my pants & i tried to pull it out & we made out & crap.. but i was high so i was like okay? & today.. this […]
I’m having a difficult time caring about anything anymore. Im angry at everything and want weed all the time just to sit and not give a fuck everytime i get smoke i make the mistake of sharing and then the fucks dont get me back so im always pissed at people and myself for that matter i have noone to trust and have no family and i still live right by them in the same city i did nothing wrong they just hate me for no fucking reason other than to not give a fuck about me i havent been this suicidal in a long […]
They were siting on my friend audry and me and im the one in the black jacked with stripes shes the one crying xD
I went out of my house for a change, to hang out with some of my old friends. I rarely do this now since i tend to lock myself in my room, when im not inclined to go to school.
I hung out with 15 of my friends and we watched “end of the world movies” since that was the theme of the party. I was cuddling with my gay friend […]
Even though the melatonin sleeping pills i take sometimes are natual chemicals in your body.. being a little high makes me sleep better.. like alot better. deeper sleep. peaceful sleep. sweet dreams too..
Hopfully i am high enough to sleep and sleep well.. because its the only thing i know i can trust to help me..
(Yes i look to sleep for comfort..)
I just lost someone that was so fuckin special to me. I’m crying and I’m gonna find some way to make myself feel better. I think I may do alot of burning and cutting. JUst went out and bought tons of razors and I have a whole bag of weed in my room just calling my name because what else is there for me now. Maybe I’ll go for a little joy ride in a parking lot and end up in a tree. Wouldn’t that be nice? To end up dead after everything I’ve been through. All the abuse and hurt and pain. Just end […]
I have friends . Family ect . I had a rough child hood but it made me the strong person I am today . I can handle abuse , problems, conflict . Or at least on the surface . I smoke about an eigth a day of weed to mello out and drink when I can’t smoke . I use to use other drugs till I realized I was only letting “them” win by making myself look like the dirtbag they made me sound like . So I stick to my pot and alcohol although I have a struggle everyday. I feel like I dot […]
It all started at the beginning to high school, 9th grade.
I fit in perfectly, I made new friends everyday, hung out, went to parties, dated. Normal stuff that people would expect a normal teenager girl to do. But…I wasn’t exactly happy. Sure during the moment of all those parties and drinks and even experimenting with weed a few times (nothing I’m proud of anymore) I was happy. But after that adrenaline rush went away, and I sat in my bed looking up at my bedroom ceiling, I knew I wasn’t happy.
I guess I could say it started when I met Joe. He wasn’t someone that went to my […]
Well.. time to write something… One more fucked up story isn’t gonna make a difference here, so..
You know when you’re young, you’re always told to obey the rules, respect your elders, do some good, expect nothing in return, be faithful, be honest, get a degree, don’t lie, work hard, respect your gf, satisfy her every need, marry her,buy a house, have kids.. and that’s what you call a happy and full life. If you live according to this, people will call you a happy man (i can’t speak for the women, sorry).
In such a state of mind i got to know her in high school. […]
I’m so fuckin sick and tired of doing this. Day in day out I just float through my day, half awake half asleep, just waiting to die. Every morning I wake up dissapointed to find I’m still breathing, just the thought of getting out of my bed and looking in thr mirror scares the shit out of me. I am a coward . If I wasn’t then I would have finished the job quite some time ago instead of just lingering aimlessly through a pointless existence. I don’t want tp be here anymore, I have grown so bitter […]
I got kidnapped by a friend yesterday, and somehow ended up in Wal-Mart (of all places) watching in horror as my sister Toni tore into some poor kid for asking if she was my mom. She’s only five years older than me, but…yeah. “Awkward” does not begin to describe that mess yesterday.
So, anyway, she storms out, leaving me and Dee to apologize and pick up the pieces and try to make a graceful exit. Then we come back here, and I start getting phone calls from my husband’s family. Apparently, to “punish” me for having the gall to look too young, my sister had called […]
Everything today has gone to shit….
My brother just waking up and going to watch tv somehow got on my nerves
I had a credit card company call and leave a message
I had a bike stolen a while ago which was given to me by my landlord and she just asked where it was…. (least of my problems)
I lost a friend and I don’t know why… I just woke up and all of the sudden shes unfriended me…. 🙁 this one hurts the most…
I ruined my plant – I was trying to change the cycle to make it bud, covering it with a garbage bag, and now […]
Please dont feel sorry for me. I hate that. I’m only 17, I seem young to have gone through as much as I have. My life has gone to ruins. Ive been depressed for almost 4 years now. I’m bipolar adhd horrible anxiety and under weight. I take lots of medicine. But I’m tired of the life I’m living. 14 years ago my mom hung herself in a bathroom. She was addicted to cocaine and 3 men that she was buying from raped her. The doctor who did the exam on her said she wouldnt try to kill herself bqut she did. She did cocaine […]
My Life Just Needs To End…
 Well I’m 16 now but 4 1/2 half years ago my life started to change… For the worst.
 It was my 8th grade year I was so excited to grow up and be a “teenager” I knew a lot of people but didn’t have many friends I kinda kept to myself and my sister got me into weed so I thought I was the only one who smoked at my school. I kept it a secret from even my Bestfriend at a time… But then I met this girl and her name was Alex omg she was amazing she became closer […]
My name is will and im 21 years old, born and raised is leicester-England.
I have been signed up to this site for a long time as i found strength from it, so many people have vented their frustration and the Samaritans or people who have been through and recovered from the same type of problems have ansered….in the past few months i have found streanth in this but now i am fucked.
i m sick of the anxiety i cannot be around people let alone make friends i cut myself daily even though i find it pathetic and stupid.
my dad is a misogynist who beat his wife and kids, which made […]
ive lost everything. My money, my friends, my family, my job. People keep telling me “oh you’re only 16 you’ve got your whole life ahead of you” but I know that’s total bs. Of those 16 years, I’ve been depressed for 6 and I’ve wanted to die for 4. I don’t want to see what life brings in 30 years. Because I already know what it’s gonna be like. Me miserable, alone, broke, probably homeless living off booze weed and ramen I cook using trash fires and a pot I stole from walmart. Trying to find a way to die but unable to actually do […]
Poem and how I’m feeling
I log on to my pc
I built it with my own hands and money
I see the backdrop of a starry sky and moon
In my ear I have a music box tune running
And tears are trying to flood into the room
A simple child’s song that brings out memories I wish I had
Each little tinkle, trickle and bom
A music box, xylophone, a trumpet and an instrument unknown
From innocence it sends me
Unto the darker strokes that bring the sadness to the fore
It highlights a lot of inconsistencies
And points out a lot of hard choices I’ve had […]
Here’s to the days,
When you have to make your coffee extra strong,
Smoke an entire pack of cigarettes,
Burn twice as much weed.
But in the end. I’m still alive.
Still Alive….
Ever since I started smoking, I don’t know if its the weed but my self esteem dropped down completely and my anger problems have gotten even worse. I stopped smoking and I still have the same problems so I’m started to worry about myself and others around me. The majority of the time, I just burst out whatever is on my mind at the moment which is things I regret in the future. I can’t talk about it with my family cause they’ll think I’m psycho but I truthfully wanna know what’s the matter with me. I know it doesn’t sound like such a difficult […]
So it’s actually a beautiful day today. The sun is shining and its actually warm outside. Everyone always seem to enjoy the sunshine. People are happier and less annoyed and it only makes me more irritated. It only reminds me more of how miserable I feel.
I cant even fucking smoke my weed because every one of my neighbours are outside. And if I just go outside and leave the house for a few minutes my mom will ask me what I was doing. Where do you go for 5 minutes but you need to leave the house? Also since I couldnt smoke all day […]
So my boyfriend thought it’d be cute to smoke weed in school on Tuesday. & then Wednesday he got caught messing with a bowl, then they searched him & found spike. So now he’s suspended for five days, 3-5 pass, a formal hearing here they’ll probably kick him out of school & drug rehabilitation..this sucks..