It was horrible, beyond any measure I could have anticipated.. I guess I should have known, but clearly didn’t. I was treated less than human, my basic rights suddenly stripped, walking around in hospital-issued scrubs in a daze, trapped, awaiting doctor’s orders for release.
3 days locked in the confinement of the behavioral wing of the hospital, constantly supervised, your every movement documented, got to go outside once, for some 15 minutes. It was so horrible, all I could think was “get me out of here”, and now that I am out, hardly do I feel any better, but surely for the worse.
Everything feels […]
I’ve spent hours in the dark with streams going down my face and cracks running along my heart. I’m always trying to put the pieces together.
Why does it feel like my life is crashing like the meteor that killed the dinosaurs?
I have my happiness. . Oh yes, I have it.
But you know that moment it feels like life makes your mind turn your emotions into people and sends them flying at each other with everything they got?
Negatives fighting positives.
Anger, sadness. . Fighting hard to destroy your happiness. To break all that love and strength in your heart.
That moment can make a person feel like they’re […]
I was talking to my mother on the phone and she was yelling (this is hardly the first time and it’s not even a huge deal) and I just completely lost it, I started sobbing right there. I couldn’t even keep quiet and she noticed and asked why I was crying, and to make it worse I’m pretty sure my grandparents might have heard me too. I kept trying to put a hand over my mouth to not make noise but then my nose made noise when I gasped, and then I just pinched it too, which finally made me quiet but then I couldn’t breathe […]
So, I ran away from home because I can’t stand my sister and mom anymore. I’m better on my own for now. I still feel empty and can’t get over my miscarriage. But along the way something changed. I met someone. A guy. He knows what has happened to me and has helped me through it even though I’m really difficult. I have feelings for him now. I’m confused and scared. But now he is not replying to me anymore. I thought he felt the same way and now I feel a little bit worse than before. Why whenever I let someone in […]
I told you to move on and not look back
I thought I was clear when we made that pact
I told you so many times to go away
Why won’t you listen to the words I say
Leave me behind from where I fell
It is my own fault that I landed in hell
There is nothing you can do today or tomorrow
So let me drown in my own sorrow
There is a reason for this selfish request
Trust me when I say it is for the best
This pain and suffering is mine alone
This dark and cold place is now my home
Your presence is only making the pain worse
There is nothing you […]
I’m an 18 y/o girl from England suffering from depression, I think its mild/normal but to me it feels severe as I’m sure it does to everyone. I’m on anti-depressants and I thought they were helping but today I feel worse than I have in so long, I’ve been searching suicide and came across this site. I’m also wondering whether to get off the pills because I don’t want to rely on them, but counselling hasn’t helped either.
I’m bored of my life, I feel like I will fail my a levels this June and if I don’t get into uni I don’t know what […]
Today I feel lonely and depressed. I woke up and I don’t even know why I’m still here. I overthink about what happened and I can’t help but cry. I still miss that stupid asshole and my baby so much. I’m crying while typing this post. I feel that it’s all my fault. That thought haunts me. Plus, I don’t have friends IRL and therefore no one to talk to. My family doesn’t help me. If anything, they make me feel worse about myself. My mom won’t let me go out or do anything to alleviate the pain I’m feeling or at least distract myself […]
From really young people – teenagers – who are suicidal. There seems to be a theme in that most of them have parents who they feel don’t understand, support or love them. It’s so sad. And even worse that they feel like they can’t talk to their parents about how they feel.
In this world of materialism, I had somehow forgotten how important all that was. It had seemed like all they wanted was the latest iphone, and to be in the popular group at school. It kind of gives me new hope that I can actually be a positive influence in my kids lives, although […]
my whole life feels like i’m living a lie. i wish i could run away from it all. most nights i cry myself to sleep, sometimes i want to die, but i’m always so damn depressed. school is hopeless. nobody cares anymore. i need to get away. get away to a place that i can finally belong. why does everything seem to make it worse? people pretend they care but i know they don’t give a shit. i’m sorry if i sound like a whiny ***** but i need an outlet for my pain…….
As some of you may know, I recently had a miscarriage. I feel terrible and can’t seem to get over it and my family is not helping at all. My dad and my brother call me fat literally everyday and my father is forcing me to go to the gym so I “get fit” or whatever. That breaks my heart. They don’t understand that the extra pounds I have and my tiny belly reminds me of my baby, and I’m not ready to let that go. I don’t care about looking hot or being fit right now. Plus, my mom basically keeps me under house […]
At first, I had it all planned out. My mom was going out and I had like 3 full bottles of medication on hand. She never checks up on me, so I felt like I was in the clear. She came home early though, and my biggest regret was not locking the door. I remember waking up in a hospital, and having my mom by my side. Of course, they wouldn’t send me home, and sent me to a mental ward.
Now let me tell you, mental hospitals aren’t like they are in the movies. But….they’re pretty freaking […]
The lighting is noticeably awful and I couldn’t get a good angle so it makes my shading and tones patchy when they’re not, but I finally finished working into this piece for college (there’s shadows over the drawing, but we’re pretending they’re not there now).
Everything’s getting worse slowly, so it didn’t turn it as well as it was supposed to, but I can live with it.
Originally I had typed up about my horrible day, but I decided against posting it. So instead, […]
I wish things could have turned out different. That’s been something I’ve been saying a lot. It’s just that…recently I’ve been pretty emotionally numb. I feel as though I don’t have a heart. Not in a ‘vain teenager hate the whole world’ kinda way, I just can’t seem to empathize the way everyone else seems to. I feel unintentionally cruel. To make matters worse, my nightmares started coming back.
I don’t know if I want to make another attempt yet, or keep waiting.
I had to go to college today. I was in from 1 to 5. It was the same lesson for the entire four hours, so it wasn’t as stressful as when classes switch. I was stuck on a table with the whole class (it’s small, only 10 of us and all girls), so my anxiety and paranoia was almost unbearable.
After meeting with my personal tutor yesterday, I’m allowed to leave lessons whenever I need to for as long as I need to. I wanted to every minute of class, but my anxiety stopped me and so did the fact that I knew I would just […]
as i lay in my bed on this beautiful saturday morning, i couldn’t help but think.
i just do not want to be here anymore.
i had not one reason to leave my cocoon this morning. the only reason i got up out of bed, at 1 in the afternoon, was to use the washroom.
i wish i could talk about this, these feelings, with someone in real life without getting into trouble. i just do not want to be here anymore. i do not want to be in a hospital, but i do not want to be me, alone, in this apartment, anymore.
it’s just become way too […]
What do you think? If I kill myself, will that action earn me a one-way ticket to hell?
My quality of life is zero. I suffer from both mental and physical pain, and things are getting worse with each passing year 🙁
Thank you for reading and replying to my post. It means a lot.
This amused me:
http://www.theonion.com/article/report-getting-out-bed-morning-sharply-increases-r-52430
Sure, it’s satire, and somehow also unmistakably true.
Although I must admit, I’ve been stuck in bed since Tuesday night (the usual health issues), and things aren’t much better here either.
On the bright side, the health issues attacked at the same time as a load of winter weather crap, so I wouldn’t have been able to make it outside either way.
Enough about me.
How are the rest of you?
Did YOU make it out of bed today, and if so, did things get rapidly worse like the article said?
Today anyways. Nope today I get a break from feeling sorry for myself, from wanting to kill myself.
Today, I’m just crippled with blinding rage. Pure disgust with everyone and no tolerance or empathy.
Stupid fucking blizzard. Stupid people, living stupid lives, saying stupid shit.
I honestly don’t know which is worse…
I haven’t posted in a while and I don’t respond to shit so I’d understand if everyone just waves this off. I’ve been hearing voices for a while now first I thought it was me just being stupid and it wasn’t constantly so I ignored it. I thought it was my subconscious for a while but then it got worse and I keep getting sharp headaches which follows by the voices. I still don’t know if it’s me just acting stupid or if this is genuine, but they keep getting worse and worse telling me to kill myself or to hurt others. I use to […]