I don’t think people here really appreciate the hard work you put to this site. You’ve given us broken people here a community that has saved many lives and brought many of us life-long friends. Thank you for everything that you’ve built for us. You’re all the coolest!
P.s. the default picture icons you added to this site is way cool.
P.p.s .. Adding messaging would be cool too.. And complementary cookies.
Hello everyone. For many years now, I’ve been interested in cutting. I was initially attracted to the concept of cutting, that is, self-inflicted mutilation as a means to relieve stress, but was unable to give it a shot because I participated in activities that usually involved me getting undressed (working out at the gym, martial arts, etc) and I understood that if I started cutting, these markings would be easy to detect and suspicions would be raised.
However, since my situation has changed considerably and I do virtually none of those things now, I was wondering if someone would be so kind as to share with […]
i’m new. to the site, at least, not to being suicidal. but i like writing and i was told once i should get more people to read it, so thought maybe this would be a good place to put this?
I breathe with the beating of my heart and lose it all so easily,
something of some significance slipping through my fingers.
Farewell, goodbye, good riddance, freedom and fear follow suit;
I’m gone, I’m gone, I’m gone.
it’s short but it’s here.
Last night, I had the most difficult attempt at sleeping.
I had booked a Motel to saying weeks prior with the intention of forcing myself to be social and go to an event at a bar. But as time grew closer, I was contemplating suicide.
Thursday 4/14/16
I was afraid that the room I had booked would be my last night. I thought of buying a rope but was afraid of being judged, so I decided not to buy it. I checked in and bought an egg sandwich and alcohol. I took a xanax and began to drink. I walked to the bar and the place was deserted. […]
It’s been a long time since I posted something here again. So here I am, still alive. Remember my post entitled “April 2”? that should be my date of death. I should’ve been dead by now. But still, I’m alive. But now I wish I wasn’t. I regret choosing to live again. I thought everything might turn out good this time. I tried changing. But every time I’m trying, something bad always happens and it drags me down deep. And when I thought I was getting better, it turned out worse. As usual, I still do self harm scars. I still think about suiciding. And […]
This is a scenario I have played out a few times in my mind. I sometimes wish I had an observer so I could show them all the mental suffering I go through on a daily basis. Everything from how interactions with people is basically me being an anxious, dumb minded wreck to seeing how little enjoyment I get from the things I should be enjoying.
Ideally the observer should be placed in my head and feel the same things (ooo maybe a cool sci fi story can be made about this). They eventually will soon realize that something must be done and this state cannot […]
I’ve just been wondering about this question, so yeah, as the title already says, what’s keeping you alive?
Family? Friends? Something you don’t wanna miss?
For me, I guess it’s mainly my family, because I couldn’t imagine just leaving them here with all this shit that I created and they have to pay for in the end.
They really don’t deserve it.
The second would be that I’m just too fucking ***** to actually do it. I have to admit, even though life is Hell on Earth already, I’m still afraid of what comes after death. Whether I have to regret it or not.
Besides this little God […]
I guess the temptation is to just say fuck it, and paint my brains all over the walls. My last act would be clicking back the hammer, like cracking open the most refreshing can of soda ever. But I guess for now I’ll have to settle for blasting some music in my headphones. It’s like sipping on lemonade because you’re literally on fire. Kudos
Hello. This is my first post. I guess I have a lot on my mind. I’m really tired. My parents were having another conversation behind my back. The usual. I’m kind of a disappointment to them. I flipped a coin today to see weather I would kill myself. Heads I keep going. It landed on heads. I doubt I would’ve done anything if it landed on tails. I stopped having these thoughts for a while. They kind of resurfaced. Its been a few weeks now. My head is throbbing. Made a fake email so I could sign up. If my parents found out it would […]
I can’t live anymore but I can’t die. I hate feeling this way but I know my family would be devastated if I committed suicide. The people who care about me is the only thing keeping me alive.
I was directed your way for finding an old user called Stabby Mike. I ran across his party posts a while back and they really helped so I was more or less just hoping to say thank you. Any info would be very helpful. Thanks!
I used to loving making Mac and cheese. It’s so delicious. And its usually a pretty simple recipe.. Noodles, seasoning, your choice of cheese… Or cheeses… Any amount of cheese you please cause its your Mac and cheese. Mine would be either pepper jack or cream cheese.
Lately though, Mac and cheese have been the worse thing for me to cook. I can’t find the right size pan and the water is just boiling over…. The noodles are barely cooked or way over cooked… Noodles sticking the the bottom… Missing ingredients… It’s a disaster in the kitchen…
I hate Mac and cheese
I can not anymore
to think everyone would be better off without me, all could live better, could do more things, I realized how much I never should have been alive I feel I am insignificant, I’m a nuisance, I am nothing
I’m bad at all
for my parents I am disappointed, I have bad grades, do not talk to my family, I do not talk to my sister, I have no future at all, I’m a bad person, I’m a bad friend, I’m a bad brother, I’m a bad boyfriend I am a bad student, I’m bad at all and simply and has caused […]
Or the Universe, or God, whatever, I don’t know. But now that I confessed a little something to my mother, I want to share it with someone else: I think my father’s death was my fault.
I’ve been wanting to die since I was 15 (that’s almost 11 years now), and two years ago, my dad died of Cancer. Tho I prayed everyday that the bloody cancer would left his body and came into mine instead, of course it didn’t happen. And I think, I honestly believe, that that was the Universe telling me “suck it” for wanting to die for so many years and still never […]
Constant change is pretty much inevitable in life. I’ve always been really afraid of change. Therefore, constant fear seems pretty much inevitable in life. That’s one of the reasons I often feel so hopeless.
You’d think I’d have nothing to lose making a change now, given how miserable I’ve been for the past two years. Nope. I have to prepare myself for the worst, so that just in case the worst happens I won’t have some sort of breakdown. I start thinking that maybe my life now isn’t so terrible, which normally would be a good thing, except that I know as soon as the fear […]
Sure, I sit and think about death and how I would go about offing myself quite a bit. But the actual concept of death is somewhat terrifying. I think what I ultimately want is for my pain to be gone, but not to be dead. I do not believe in an afterlife. I believe that death is nothingness. There would be no me anymore. There would be no me to even experience nothingness. I would not be sitting in eternal darkness, wish-washing in and out through consciousness and nothingness, I would just be gone. Erased. No more. The idea of that is somewhat satisfying. It’s […]
I just saw Batman v Superman for the 2nd time and i have to say i have a much higher opinion of it than when I saw it the first time. The more I think about the more i realize how connected to this movie i am. I understand what its like to not be perfect and lambasted for it. I get what its like not to be accepted for what you are. For people to not see how good you are despite your flaws. I understand what its like tl be pre classified based upon criteria you can’t control because you are grouped in […]
I don’t think I could do it in someone else’s house. Is that too cruel? To change the way they see it forever? Not like they would be the ones to find me, but still. Though it’s the perfect opportunity.
This is Ylem the Masochist speaking. And no… Not in a sexual way…
I want to strangle myself until I’m blue. Deprive myself of oxygen. That is just the beginning.
I need a whip. Scourge myself to the brink of dead. See flesh peeling off and blood pouring. Beat myself up like a fucking animal that I am.
I want to cut open my veins and watch the blood pour out. Feel dizzy and drained from all the blood loss.
I’m not done.
Bang myself against the wall until I have a concussion and collapse.
To top it all of. Plunge a knife in my gut and hold my intestines in […]
What has changed from a year ago when I starting to be suicidal again nothing apart from me starting to act on it I should have done it a year ago just prolonged my pain and suffering so what is if nothing changes by next year that would be two years of suffering and u happiness would be ideal to swollow something and sleep forever but that ain’t going to happen I need a better method or the courage to follow though with a method I’m not keen on who knows time will tell I guess
il put my email here if anyone what’s to chat […]
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