Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

1

Unrequited Love

November 28th, 2014by Pointedancer101

Before him I had never had a relationship. I had never been consensually kissed but I had been sexually harassed twice (not rape, but kissing and hands where I didn’t want them). I met this guy at the beginning of senior year. You may even know him. I liked him right away. Had a crush right away. He had a gf at the time. And it hurt but I kept getting to know him. So time passed. His gf broke up with him. And he was devastated. He literally came to school hungover because he’d go home and drink. It broke my …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
5

A Dream Deferred

November 26th, 2014by GalaxyEyesXx

My feet are clammy from the marathons I am forced to run in my mind. Was that you that came to me in the hopeless dark of the night? Or are these blessed visions an after image of a cursed mind? My soul is an enigma. It baffles the masses and their fear overruns their ignorance. Alas, even I am perplexed by what I have become. A solitary phantom drifting down a rocky precipice but it cannot reach the dark waters. I wish I could ascend on starry wings though this is just a fantasy, once cherished. So what will be the method of my …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
1

Am I self-harming??

November 26th, 2014by Nyx Lavery

I have a past of self-harming – usually just to bring me pain, not to kill myself. This past year I have pierced myself 16 times. 14 ear piercings and at the moment I am getting Dahlia piercings. I noticed that during the times I’d go into my bathroom and puncture my skin, I would be extremely upset.

Am I self-harming?

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
4

Im wanted by nobody

November 24th, 2014by Thebiggestmistake

All my life has contained of happy children and families.When I see them I can’t help but feel jealous.They seem so happy while my family acts like I wasn’t born.I wish my life could go back to normal like when I was little,we would spend every waking hour together but now we are lucky to spend 5 seconds together.After my grandfather died on January 31 2013, I have felt so alone and lost.I have tried so many times to be someone im not because I have no one to look up to and no one to help guide the way.I changed my hair

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
2

Just done

November 23rd, 2014by krush

I don’t know what I’m doing.  People always say “there is reason for living, there is reason to stay alive” but I don’t see that.  What’s my reason?  My 3 best friends of 3.5 years that stopped talking to me two days before my birthday?  My dad that left when I was two weeks old?

A friend of mine once said to me (before his girlfriend blocked me on his account) “You can’t say no one else has any reason for living.” but what I was trying to say to him was, why are any of us alive?  What is the point of life?  We aren’t …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
9

We can help each other

November 23rd, 2014by charlieregal

Lets do it. Lets start a trust fund. We all sell some pf our things then put it in a trust and agree to all meet someplace and use the tust money to pay the fair for who ever wants to come. Then we buy a bomb and just hold hands and sing a prayer or a hymn or something and just wait for it to us all up. Don’t you see that this is your chance!? Stop procastinating! We can do this together don’t you see! we can help each other. We’re all in the same boat so lets just punch a hole in …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
1

Can’t stop crying

November 23rd, 2014by urban6killer

I’m just so sick of being sad, the worse part is I can’t explain why I’m even sad… I wrote a note and it seemed like I was drunk and crazy at the same time, it makes sense in my head but I can’t get it out…. I find myself researching ways to end it that won’t upset people if they find me, why am I so worried still about pleasing people

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
5

Always the nihilist

November 23rd, 2014by GalaxyEyesXx

I have felt so distant lately even though I know my isolation could ruin the few relationships I have, I can’t stop myself. Do they really care? I hope not. So many times I have heard people say that they only want to be loved but all I ever wanted was to be forgotten COMPLETELY. Not in this stagnant state of conditional love. It would make the transcendence so much easier. I linger in the shadows so that I am overlooked and I won’t have to answer questions or ask them. I inquired for help in a moment of weakness, of fear. I have come …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
1

Love could be the deadliest drug of all

November 22nd, 2014by Toruda

Hi

I’m sharing my story, because it seems to make me feel better, which I’d guess is point of this site.

I’ve always had sensitivity, anxiety, and depression issues, (undiagnosed), but often medicated with once drugs and nowadays alcohol as a have a kid which has straightened me out some. I’ve managed to keep a good job, but have generally isolated myself. I’ve had thoughts of suicide in the past, but i’ve generally managed to form some kind of stability in work, sleep overs with my kid and the occassional binge drinking episode. A lonely existance, yet stable for me and also held together with a little …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
0

Do you remember?

Do you remember?

November 22nd, 2014by secretz180

Do you remember when your breaking point was. When you finally couldn’t take all the darkness that you felt around you. The moment you let yourself down.. The moment when you didn’t give a shit if you died or lived. I remember it and I have the evidence for the rest of my existing life. I only cut myself on the left side of my wrist. Why ruin your other wrist. Just put the pain all in one spot at a time. Just look at your artwork of scars. I remember when the breaking point was. I promised my self I would never harm myself, …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
3

should i kill myself?

November 22nd, 2014by youwillneverknowme

i don’t know what to do with my life anymore, there is nowhere to go, no one to talk to, i have no friends anymore. it’s amazing how much people can change over a year, how it happened, why it did, if it was me, if i should try again, or simply find more people. it all started in december 2013, when i made friends both from real life and the internet, i thought my life was complete. everything just, stopped, within 3 months, the person i love stopped talking to me, began to hate me, in fact. i still cannot take it all in, …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
7

A new beginning

November 22nd, 2014by secretz180

image

Last year on December 9th I lost my virginty, to a guy I thought really liked me. We where talking over the summer and he was always busy. After many tries we finally saw each other. The place where we going to go was closed so he said lets just go to the park. He asked if I had any smokes, I told him no. So we went across the street and he made me pay for the cigs. As we got to the park it started to rain. I was very nervous no other guy …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
11

I drank last night…

November 21st, 2014by killswitchon

And I’m slightly hungover today… Although that’s not what’s on my mind. No. What’s on my mind is how no matter how much I try to convey what my mental experience is to so called professionals or people in my daily waking life I get no where and they’re left believing I’m just afraid of success or failure and that I don’t truly have a mental anamoly/condition/mindfuck that’s inhibiting and limiting my every attempt to advance my life and move forward. I’ve been making changes over the past few days to prep myself for the next stage in my life whether that is death or …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
11

I’m screwed

November 20th, 2014by 95106

Two weeks ago I left the psych ward after three months of trying to recover from depression and anxiety. Before I left, the shrinks there questioned me about how my three month stay had helped me. I lied, told them it changed something, told them it had made a difference, told them that “it taught myself a lot about me”. In truth, nothing has changed, but I didn’t have the balls to tell them about it. I felt like I had just wasted a quarter year of my life twiddling thumbs. I still feel anxious. I still feel depressed. I still feel like I could …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
4

Its been awhile

November 19th, 2014by suicidal_chick

I have no idea how long its been since i was last on here but i know its been awhile. I miss coming on the site everyday reading everyone’s stories, trying to help.

This week has been really rough for me. I have had 2 friends who tried killing themselves. Honestly i cant take this anymore. It hurts. I stayed up 2 nights in a row trying to talk one of them out. But it didn’t work…he tried and failed, thank god. I dont know what i would do without him in my life, he has talked me out of suicide a lot. theres something about …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
4

A ticket to freedom

November 18th, 2014by charlieregal

I sold everything I own and gave every last dime to US immigration services for them to process my paper work. Every last dime and I a still stuck in Jamaica. I did some things I am not proud of to get that paperwork going. Some really unclean things. Oh lord I wish I could wash my hands of those things. But I can’t. Stained. Scared. I really want to fly out but can’t afford that $250 ticket. The man that petitioned for me, he and I had a falling out. I hope he doesn’t go to immigration and get my green card revoked. Cause …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
0

I Am Going Crazy Waiting

November 16th, 2014by SylviaPlathIsMyHero

He is imperfect. Short, freckled, quiet. Intelligent with stunning blue eyes. Depressed and anxious. Heart broken and ostracized.

To me he is perfect. But he has been gone for quite some time now, locked away in a mental hospital I know he abhors. I didn’t know how much he meant to me until he wasn’t there. My days became more dull, I stopped smiling as much. I became sensitive, I holed up in my room, dreaming impossible dreams of a life with him.

I began to forget his voice. His beautiful face. His small stature compared to my tall one. The notes we would write each other …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
2

I hate myself

November 16th, 2014by Rayman

It was a theatre play made by students, it was in a small classroom. She was right there on the stage, so beautiful and so talented. We’re old friends from childhood, we’ve played games together, we’ve been on a course abroad. She is the best girl I’ve ever met.  But I didn’t see her for a very long time, almost 6 years. When she posted the invitation on Facebook and asked if anyone wants to book a seat i wanted to surprise her so i didn’t say a thing. I was sitting there in the third row watching her incredible performance. She didn’t recognise me …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
5

Hope its time

November 16th, 2014by Destined_to_end_it

I took 4.5mg of synthroid a little over 2 hours ago, I sure hope this works but all I have noticed thus far is a headache. I sure hope it starts to do something soon because I don’t want anyone to witness my death. Really wanted it to be over already…

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.
5

Suicidal Thoughts

November 16th, 2014by Kristofery

No one seems to truly care. It all seems like they superficially care and love me, but no one wants to sacrifice their time to help me in this crazy fast and lost world. You talk about depression and every body is like “Just be happy” or wants to give you tough love, as if that would help! I need somebody to walk it out with me, in person!

And then the subject of suicide is brought up and almost everybody says those people are cowards.

Look for help and all they wanna do is give you medication. I dont want medication, I want true love, help …

Processing your request, Please wait....
Do not report posts older than 1 week old,
because we will not take action on them.
In other words -- check the date before wasting your time and ours.
Also, please do not use this form as a comment reply -- it is not.