Category:

Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

4 years later.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 6/14/2022

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

The last time I posted on here was back in 2018.. Since then so much has changed. I was in a shitty relationship for 2 years that went to shit, I graduated high school which I thought I never would and I made it past 18 years. I went through hell during the last two years of high school would be an understatement but I am past that now and do not want to relive it. I stopped counting how long I am clean of cutting for and would not be able to give you an estimate. I do rely on other coping mechanisms that […]

6/14/2022 2 comments

I hate my mother

by Ihatemymother 5/20/2022

written by Ihatemymother

Hey, I just want to post this because I really hate my life and hate my mom so much. you have no idea what I’m going through, it might be not as bad as some other cases but I hope it can change because when I’m writing this is still going on. I have Asian parents, and Asian parents tend to be strict, and I probably land on the most terrible parent.
The story begins like this, (disclaimer I didn’t put my name nor how old am I because I don’t want anyone to get in trouble, and I was in a rush writing […]

5/20/2022 0 comment

I’m really tired of hurting, hurting myself, and hurting others

by mathsterofpuppets 5/14/2022

written by mathsterofpuppets

As of this writing, I’m 53 years old. My health is suspect, although I do the things for myself I need to in order to stave off utter decrepitude. I’m single…well, never married. Never relationshipped, to be perfectly honest, not even that of the overnight variety. I have lived, lost…no, not lost. Generally, I’ve driven others away as a consequence of erratic emotional stability. For 10+ years, until last year in fact, I was the full-time, live-in caregiver for my parents. This ceased last year, on July 17, when my mother succumbed to triple hit diffuse large B-cell lymphoma, with spinal cord involvement. By that […]

5/14/2022 1 comment

Hazy luminescence…or not.

by Once 4/30/2022

written by Once

May 1. Another anniversary. Three years ago, my boy left. He was my cat, my best friend, my only love. Hooks. We had seven wonderful years together, and the three since he left seem like a dark, empty eternity. I’m changed, stagnant and uncaring. The world is a different place, a banal predictable circus overrun by human monkeys. Where is decency? Where is compassion, where is consideration in this violent atmosphere? Where is the respect we all want ,yet refuse to give, as we shake our heads […]

4/30/2022 2 comments

I’m 40 years old this year, and I still don’t know what to do, and whether I should continue to live, or just die?

by niki 4/25/2022

written by niki

Long story short, my life is a complete failure. It’s full of wrong decisions, (in)actions, regrets, mistakes after mistakes, that I honestly think maybe it’s already too late to “fix everything” (eg: I’m losing all the good chances/opportunities, as I’m getting old now). It’s really ironic & tragic, because a lot of people always say that I’m very talented especially in music (I used to be quite an active musician & composer/songwriter, but sadly I’m still not famous & successful), smart, a deep thinker, a highly sensitive person, etc etc.

I am also an idealist, meaning that I actually have a BIG vision & idea for […]

4/25/2022 4 comments

My darling

by sheeshtalericoco 4/12/2022

written by sheeshtalericoco

Good morning , i’m glad to see that you helped Sheena , unfortunaly she passed away this night… You sure know the reason and know that i’m surely very affect by this , I hope now she is in better place , actually Niela was her sister by alliance , Niela’s real sister is younger than Sheena but her pain is worst , she told Sheena to come here and talk about everything she knows about her sister death , we were a good average family with no problems , we lived all in a little house full of love surrounded by lovely neighbors , […]

4/12/2022 1 comment

I don’t really know what happened to her

by sheeshtalericoco 4/10/2022

written by sheeshtalericoco

I have a big sister, Niela, she was the purest soul I have ever seen, she loved makeup and punk fashion, she was called Don by her friends because of her masculine style of dress, she was very talkative, very cool, she was the kind of person i want to date, yet a few days before christmas 2013, she committed suicide in her room while my mum was getting me ready for school, that day was a thursday , she came up after her breakfast in an effort to get herself ready to go to high school, she never came down… My mom walked me […]

4/10/2022 4 comments

Daily pain

by Cassy 4/2/2022

written by Cassy

I am in a lot of pain daily with my arms, back, knees and the pain meds only scratch the surface and then there is the emotional pain. I lost my mum suddenly without warning she was fine and then she collapsed and drop dead while sipping on her cup of tea and they couldn’t save her, she died of heart disease undiagnosed and that’s my fate also because I’ve been diagnosed but the meds for it make me ill and I can barely exercise because of the pain so I think that’s going to be my fate also but I’m okay with that I’ve […]

4/2/2022 3 comments

I don’t know where to start.

by ThatOneFred 3/11/2022

written by ThatOneFred

I want to tell my story but I know it will be taken as a joke, or ignored like some kind of terrible fable or fairytale. The worse fairytale ever written and it’s my life. I want to tell my story but even if i did nobody will ever be able to relate to it, i have nowhere to go anymore as if i ever did. I thought maybe i could engineer my way out of my nightmare but no, it just persists. I don’t even want to talk about it really but i thought maybe just maybe if i was EXTREMELY lucky I’d find […]

3/11/2022 10 comments

I don’t know what’s next

by Junois 2/24/2022

written by Junois

I planned to end it a couple years ago when I was in high school , but now i’ve graduated from college and started University. Everyday, at the back of my head, I struggle to imagine a future for myself because I feel like i’m way below average and I won’t be able to make it in the working world. I choke on my words when talking to anyone I’m not close with and I feel like a social failure. My thoughts of ending it were harsher than they were now but I still dream of dying everyday.

My life is actually not bad but I […]

2/24/2022 1 comment

Courage 2 (quit/proceed)

by mortalcode 2/15/2022

written by mortalcode 2-3 min read

Ever let the anxiety sink ,the rage boil up
Ferment the pain, and bottle it up
Reflecting on the past like it ain’t slow enough
Mom’s always sad that I ain’t growing up
Pills help me cope but I’m still fucking up
Fuck going outside, the moon aint show enough
I laugh about death like I ain’t dark enough?
Friends ran away? I guess they stalked enough?
Fam patient with my death like who’s taking what?
keep a sharp angle, latitudes of my cuts
Force you to be strong like you ain’t had enough
have the nerve to ask what’s wrong…
God ain’t fucking […]

2/15/2022 1 comment

Selfish love

by rhinoheart 12/22/2021

written by rhinoheart

It’s never the chronic pain that gets me. I still feel like that could get better someday. It’s not autism either. Not the agoraphobia. Not being nonbinary. Not climate change. It’s usually been unemployment and being held in the jaws of capitalism that makes me want to die. But now I have a job; for the first time, my life seemed like it’d work out. I can just barely afford everything I need and some of what I want. I have things I love doing and I can imagine being successful and accomplished at those pursuits and at my job. My health was even improving […]

12/22/2021 2 comments

Dear me,

by Cai 12/16/2021

written by Cai

How many times have you said “i give up”?
How many times have you cried?
How many times have you kill your mind?

How many times have you hurt yourself?

When will you stop?

Always lost in the dark, never gave an effort to find light.
Covered in marks, never even bothered to fight.
Worthless, useless, incapable, dissociated.
Every negative words invented, you describe yourself with them.

You are a sad person. And you anchor down the people around you.
You worry about every single thing around you.
You cry at every inconvenient thing that happens.
People pity you. You pity yourself.
Never had dreams, because you’re untalented.
Your own mother doesn’t even like you.
Your father hates […]

12/16/2021 1 comment

dear no one

by Cai 12/16/2021

written by Cai

dear no one,

i’ve been feeling down lately. actually, scratch that. i’ve been feeling down since i was 14 or so; i just never acknowledged or realized it. it’s a mixture of deep sadness and gut-wrenching anxiety every fucking day. i can’t even cry anymore.

you see, when i was young, i wanted to be an artist. i used to draw a lot, and even receive praises and compliments from others who look at my craft (thanks, pa. i hope you’re resting in heaven). i believed i can draw. when i went to college to become a creative artist as an advertising student, turns out, i only know […]

12/16/2021 1 comment

Feeling Defeated

by lifeissuffering 10/25/2021

written by lifeissuffering

I’m feeling sad lately. And I don’t know why. I guess it’s because I feel like I wasting time. My life is boring even with so much craziness I go through with people and my family but even so I still feel unmotivated. I’m sad October is almost over. It’s my favorite month. And I feel like I didn’t have fun in it. I didn’t watch enough horror movies, I didn’t eat enough pumpkin stuff, I didn’t watch enough football. I feel like I haven’t done enough. I don’t know how to make myself happy. Nothing makes me happy I feel empty.

10/25/2021 2 comments

Venting about school

by cyberchallenge2 10/13/2021

written by cyberchallenge2

theres nothing to do anymore, nothing is fun, im stressing over the exams that we will have and lots of shit that we will have to do and who knows maybe i wont get accepted to that highschool that i wanted to go to and ill have to ruin my high school experience and most likely life because of it. u dont know how much i suffer from anxiety everyday, no one understands me, it hurts, i cover my ears and try not to cry and freak out from loud people, im slowly losing myself. i keep snapping and having break downs, i was happy […]

10/13/2021 0 comment

losing a loved one

by cyberchallenge2 10/13/2021

written by cyberchallenge2

no one understands me, no one knows how much i suffer everyday, i cant believe im depressed again. i lost my loved one, i wish i was better for them, i wish i brought myself to show love and affection, i couldnt, i couldnt even keep myself up while im being stressed from school and everything, its so hard for me after the 4th(?) break up, it killed me, no matter how much i love him nothing will be the same. i dont wanna be with him anymore but i do, im confused, im so confused, i dont know what i want but all i […]

10/13/2021 0 comment

My Story

by crestfallen 10/6/2021

written by crestfallen

I met my abuser in the summer of 2019 (just before my sophomore year). He was attractive, charismatic, and played his way into my heart singing love songs on the guitar. The first month was perfect; cute coffee dates and late-night bonfires with our closest friends. That all ended very quickly. To put it simply..he was a depressed, bipolar, unpredictable 17-year-old with serious anger issues. He was violent, manipulative, and flat-out scary. At the time, I had never been in a serious relationship, and ignored just about every red flag in the book. The first time I tried to break up with him he held […]

10/6/2021 4 comments

Ugly

by sova 10/5/2021

written by sova

That’s just what echoes in my head. People/parents/friends/former didn’t left and that was the saddest part . Remember the day when I used to have panic attack and my parents dragged me to get on my ass. My mom exactly knew when I would shout back and thanks her for conferencing with all my family members(uncle/aunt/grandmother) and just waiting for the moment to trigger me to shout back and say them to leave me alone. Nice team you got with all your saddist/narcissistic friends. Been a looser/pathetic. My soulmate left. Just murmers inside my head. I am left with no purpose atleast I want to […]

10/5/2021 2 comments

by CARLOSPEJUAN 10/4/2021

written by CARLOSPEJUAN

I’m feeling sad because I’m ugly, I’m dumb, I’m schizophrenic and I’ll most likely never find a partner. I feel so unfortunate and feel the need to really work in myself in other aspects because that’ll never happen. But I want it to happen. Any relationship I’ve ever been in had gone to shit for one reason or another. And I’m just so dumb and lazy that I’m not sure if I should get into a relationship. Yesterday I managed to upset a guy I was talking to. That made me realize how dumb I am. I just don’t think properly. But it’s ok. Maybe […]

10/4/2021 1 comment

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