Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

0

Always the nihilist

November 23rd, 2014by GalaxyEyesXx

I have felt so distant lately even though I know my isolation could ruin the few relationships I have, I can’t stop myself. Do they really care? I hope not. So many times I have heard people say that they only want to be loved but all I ever wanted was to be forgotten COMPLETELY. Not in this stagnant state of conditional love. It would make the transcendence so much easier. I linger in the shadows so that I am overlooked and I won’t have to answer questions or ask them. I inquired for help in a moment of weakness, of fear. I have come …

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1

Love could be the deadliest drug of all

November 22nd, 2014by Toruda

Hi

I’m sharing my story, because it seems to make me feel better, which I’d guess is point of this site.

I’ve always had sensitivity, anxiety, and depression issues, (undiagnosed), but often medicated with once drugs and nowadays alcohol as a have a kid which has straightened me out some. I’ve managed to keep a good job, but have generally isolated myself. I’ve had thoughts of suicide in the past, but i’ve generally managed to form some kind of stability in work, sleep overs with my kid and the occassional binge drinking episode. A lonely existance, yet stable for me and also held together with a little …

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0

Do you remember?

Do you remember?

November 22nd, 2014by secretz180

Do you remember when your breaking point was. When you finally couldn’t take all the darkness that you felt around you. The moment you let yourself down.. The moment when you didn’t give a shit if you died or lived. I remember it and I have the evidence for the rest of my existing life. I only cut myself on the left side of my wrist. Why ruin your other wrist. Just put the pain all in one spot at a time. Just look at your artwork of scars. I remember when the breaking point was. I promised my self I would never harm myself, …

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4

should i kill myself?

November 22nd, 2014by youwillneverknowme

i don’t know what to do with my life anymore, there is nowhere to go, no one to talk to, i have no friends anymore. it’s amazing how much people can change over a year, how it happened, why it did, if it was me, if i should try again, or simply find more people. it all started in december 2013, when i made friends both from real life and the internet, i thought my life was complete. everything just, stopped, within 3 months, the person i love stopped talking to me, began to hate me, in fact. i still cannot take it all in, …

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7

A new beginning

November 22nd, 2014by secretz180

image

Last year on December 9th I lost my virginty, to a guy I thought really liked me. We where talking over the summer and he was always busy. After many tries we finally saw each other. The place where we going to go was closed so he said lets just go to the park. He asked if I had any smokes, I told him no. So we went across the street and he made me pay for the cigs. As we got to the park it started to rain. I was very nervous no other guy …

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11

I drank last night…

November 21st, 2014by killswitchon

And I’m slightly hungover today… Although that’s not what’s on my mind. No. What’s on my mind is how no matter how much I try to convey what my mental experience is to so called professionals or people in my daily waking life I get no where and they’re left believing I’m just afraid of success or failure and that I don’t truly have a mental anamoly/condition/mindfuck that’s inhibiting and limiting my every attempt to advance my life and move forward. I’ve been making changes over the past few days to prep myself for the next stage in my life whether that is death or …

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11

I’m screwed

November 20th, 2014by 95106

Two weeks ago I left the psych ward after three months of trying to recover from depression and anxiety. Before I left, the shrinks there questioned me about how my three month stay had helped me. I lied, told them it changed something, told them it had made a difference, told them that “it taught myself a lot about me”. In truth, nothing has changed, but I didn’t have the balls to tell them about it. I felt like I had just wasted a quarter year of my life twiddling thumbs. I still feel anxious. I still feel depressed. I still feel like I could …

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4

Its been awhile

November 19th, 2014by suicidal_chick

I have no idea how long its been since i was last on here but i know its been awhile. I miss coming on the site everyday reading everyone’s stories, trying to help.

This week has been really rough for me. I have had 2 friends who tried killing themselves. Honestly i cant take this anymore. It hurts. I stayed up 2 nights in a row trying to talk one of them out. But it didn’t work…he tried and failed, thank god. I dont know what i would do without him in my life, he has talked me out of suicide a lot. theres something about …

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4

A ticket to freedom

November 18th, 2014by charlieregal

I sold everything I own and gave every last dime to US immigration services for them to process my paper work. Every last dime and I a still stuck in Jamaica. I did some things I am not proud of to get that paperwork going. Some really unclean things. Oh lord I wish I could wash my hands of those things. But I can’t. Stained. Scared. I really want to fly out but can’t afford that $250 ticket. The man that petitioned for me, he and I had a falling out. I hope he doesn’t go to immigration and get my green card revoked. Cause …

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0

I Am Going Crazy Waiting

November 16th, 2014by SylviaPlathIsMyHero

He is imperfect. Short, freckled, quiet. Intelligent with stunning blue eyes. Depressed and anxious. Heart broken and ostracized.

To me he is perfect. But he has been gone for quite some time now, locked away in a mental hospital I know he abhors. I didn’t know how much he meant to me until he wasn’t there. My days became more dull, I stopped smiling as much. I became sensitive, I holed up in my room, dreaming impossible dreams of a life with him.

I began to forget his voice. His beautiful face. His small stature compared to my tall one. The notes we would write each other …

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2

I hate myself

November 16th, 2014by Rayman

It was a theatre play made by students, it was in a small classroom. She was right there on the stage, so beautiful and so talented. We’re old friends from childhood, we’ve played games together, we’ve been on a course abroad. She is the best girl I’ve ever met. ┬áBut I didn’t see her for a very long time, almost 6 years. When she posted the invitation on Facebook and asked if anyone wants to book a seat i wanted to surprise her so i didn’t say a thing. I was sitting there in the third row watching her incredible performance. She didn’t recognise me …

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5

Hope its time

November 16th, 2014by Destined_to_end_it

I took 4.5mg of synthroid a little over 2 hours ago, I sure hope this works but all I have noticed thus far is a headache. I sure hope it starts to do something soon because I don’t want anyone to witness my death. Really wanted it to be over already…

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5

Suicidal Thoughts

November 16th, 2014by Kristofery

No one seems to truly care. It all seems like they superficially care and love me, but no one wants to sacrifice their time to help me in this crazy fast and lost world. You talk about depression and every body is like “Just be happy” or wants to give you tough love, as if that would help! I need somebody to walk it out with me, in person!

And then the subject of suicide is brought up and almost everybody says those people are cowards.

Look for help and all they wanna do is give you medication. I dont want medication, I want true love, help …

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0

What is the matter?

November 14th, 2014by slambo511

I have everything I ever wanted,

No… seriously , I do. Yet it feels like nothing, I hurt all the time and just want to sleep, cry and sleep. The hardest part is that it just makes me hate myself even more, the doctors say “depression” and give me pills that don’t work, the friends say it’s because I work too hard and suggest a drink (like I need ANOTHER addiction in my life to battle, one that is socially acceptable, cheap and everywhere, and I thought heroine was hard to stay away from). The saddest part of all of this is that I see myself …

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2

Is it Fair? By: KristinLewis

November 11th, 2014by yourgirlkrissy

At some point in life, you have to take a deep breath and think twice. You have to put aside all the things that made you cry, and look at the brighter things in life. Like going home to love and support, instead of going hold to a homeless shelter because you’re poor. But always be thankful for the life that you’re livin, because you could’ve been just another abortion. Sometimes we don’t see a reason for livin’, because we are raped, abused, and mistreated. So we cut, do drugs, and become suicidal , for some of us the voices in our head can make …

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3

Contemplating Suicide

November 10th, 2014by brain.washed.youth

will it ever get easier ?
ive tried many things to bring myself out if this dark place.
its like im stuck and every horrible thing is on replay.
and i just want the thoughts to stop.
maybe killing myself will make it all better.
write a note saying its not my families fault.
that i was just sad unhappy with the person ive become.
im fat , alone , suicidal , and just want to disappear for a while.
i want to be forgotten when i die so my family wont be sad.
i just want it to get better.

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0

Damaged Goods Short Film

November 10th, 2014by dgshortfilm

Because we all deserve to live. It does get better man. It really does.

 

www.damagedgoodsfilm.com

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7

Being Alone Just Sucks

November 9th, 2014by brain.washed.youth

i can’t stop crying. the thoughts are never going to go away.
i question why i feel this way because i have it way better than most people do,
i have a home , a bed , clothes , food , but i just feel so shitty and utterly worthless.
im afraid that im just gunna fail in life and what sucks the most is i have nobody.
i dont need friends but sometimes its just nice to have someone to understand you and
just listen. being alone just sucks.

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2

I’ve never told anybody this before.

November 9th, 2014by rizcr

When I was 16 years old, I was at the peak of a very dark place.

Everything really started when I was twelve. I hated myself, and everybody else hated me, whether it was too my face or behind my back. I allowed people to walk all over me because I wanted to have friends, no matter how little they were actually friendly. Just people I could sit with at lunch, or talk to during class. I hated being alone. I still do. I started cutting a few months after I turned twelve, when I overheard one of my “friends” talking about it with someone else.

I …

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1

Just Kill Yourself

November 8th, 2014by brain.washed.youth

What am i supposed to do with these horrible thoughts swirling around in my mind ?
It makes me feel like im going insane. No one gets me or understands my feelings.
I used to cut myself and since ive stopped i cant seem to shake the urging want , and
need to relapse. Ive tried to tell my parents but they just kinda blew it off. Everyday i think
about killing myself in MANY different ways but something is keeping from doing it. The little
fucking voices in my head are yelling at me and saying just do it , just kill yourself there’s nothing here for you

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