Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

1

Is it my fate? (part 2)

June 27th, 2016by Gypsyguy93

In my last post I talked about my ex-fiancee (gay male) who committed suicide after we broke up four years ago, I think if he knew how much it would hurt those he loved and left behind he never would of done it, but then I also understand that the pain he was going through in his mind was intolerable to him and he just wanted the pain to end…

I didn’t know my ex was suicidal, we had been together for a couple of years, I know he had PTSD and Anxiety, but I never knew about the depression…. before we broke up he cheated …

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3

First time on here..

June 26th, 2016by Tin_Cup

Hi,

Y’all can call me Tin if you’d like.

My story and why I’m here?

Well, I was a victim of a very violent form of abuse. My father, a drunk sadistic bastard, would beat my brothers and I. Though I was left without an escape my brothers could run to school, as I was only 4 through 8 at the time.

My mother was framed for abusing us when we were young. I was 3, and my brothers were 4 and 7. Our church were the ones who framed her, and lied to DCFS which led to our being taken away from her.

I suffer from a form of PTSD, sort …

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1

Why dose this keep happening ?

June 23rd, 2016by kupo95

So far in one week I heard of two 2 and half year old children dying in horrible ways . wondering how the families feel and my heart breaking for the loss.

At 6:39Am my father woke up the house shaken ….with Tragic news my cousin son as passed in his sleep 2 and half years old. My heart is shattered the hurt for my familie is unthinkable my cousin live in jersey my mom and dad left . I’m home falling in an out of crying and numbness trying not look like a tragedy just happen . because my sister in law just had to …

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1

Suicidal and Confused

June 22nd, 2016by snugglepuff

Well, I never thought I would post something like this and honestly its kind of weird but what the hell. As I type this my husband is sleeping next to me, and has no care in the world. Me on the other hand, I carry the weight of all of the care and pain. This is my story.

I am 24 years old, and I currently do not see even a glimpse of a promising happy future. It weird because I am in college and successful at it; I’m smart,have tons of motivation, and can light up a room. But, just as much as I can …

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2

Seeing the Demons

June 18th, 2016by xmwdhx

This is my story to tell and the story you should know.

Janaury of 2013, I was a suicidal trans male. I suffered depression almost 3 1/2 years. It’s very long time than you all expected. I was hurt, scared, tired, lost, abandoned, and many words I should describe myself of being sad. Every day during my middle school year and the year of my 7th grade, people treated me like an animal or a beast. I was beaten up by bunch of kids especially middle and high school boys. I was known as a freak, emo freak, tranny freak, or boy freak. I couldn’t stand …

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3

Its really happening

June 17th, 2016by kupo95

So tomorrow I will get my jewelry back and the past five years of my life will be a waste .

I just don’t understand my ex could really do this to me like he has no feeling for me at all which I  know is a lie because he did/dose ..but he just keeps listing to his evil mother .

Now I’m sitting looking like an ungrateful piece of shit who just wants to be up my mother and fathers ass when all I wanted was to be married and left alone . to wake up in PJ’s and drink coffee to live a …

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5

Hey everybody its been a while .

June 15th, 2016by kupo95

Sooo a lot happened since I last posted first off I’m divorced……so yup.

 

But before that my family found out that I was suicidal and got very mad can’t blame them tho know if must hurt them. But in between that time I was aguring with them them I not staying home and to leave me alone .

 

 

Then I opened up to my husband tell him all the pain I feel and sadness. Then he told me he been turning down opportunities to come back home for the past three months . so for some reason I  told him that I been cutting myself and were …

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4

My suicide project.

June 14th, 2016by OddBlueBoy

Hey, they call me Odd. It’s nice to share my story with you.

First off, im not killing myself… Yet. I’m trying to push for another 10 months of living. I’ll be 18, in April. I’ve decided to tell my story now, just incase i jump the gun a little early.

Where do I start? This is kind of like a “my moment” type of thing. So, how can I personally catch your attention, long enough, to hear me out?

I’ll start by asking; “have you ever been sad?”

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8

People Are causing Me To suffer

June 13th, 2016by GerbzBaby

image

(A mini drawing I drew to help calm my nasty thoughts :/ )

 

All my friends and family are unsupportive and them not being here for me is causing me to suffer. Day after day after day all I think about is suicide but.. I’m to much of a chicken to fucking do it. I want to live but then again I want to die.. In the least painful way.. I’ve been waiting for so long to find those friends who finally care.. The day my family finally realizes I have a problem and I need their …

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0

I’ve unblocked my posts

June 13th, 2016by LittleBead

I am convinced that I hold a very personal and unique legacy which is enclosed within the structure of my posts. By telling you about it, I want to inform you that I have unblocked all of my posts, if you were interested in things which had brought me to this website. They include, but are not limited to, the time before my suicide and the time when I was at the psychiatric hospital. I believe that my experience, sometimes positive experience, will help you deal with your own situations and personal issues. I found a few ways to go through my inner struggles and …

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2

Places to see before ……that final trip

June 12th, 2016by Aeonverus

Need ideas to visit west of the Mississippi River before my time comes

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7

An update on my worthless waste of space

June 9th, 2016by disgusting

Taken straight from my tumblr because I’m too lazy to repeat it. And it’s all here anyway.
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It’s taken almost 40 years and falling in love with the one I truly want and could marry every day of my life over and over again, and knowing that I can’t have him and will go to my grave never having the love that I’ve dreamed of since I was 5 to finally push me to this. It’s something I should’ve done when I was still a child, but I didn’t understand back then. All my life, I’ve ignored the outside world and stuck to my …

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1

You Can’t Make Me Feel Sorry

June 8th, 2016by GerbzBaby

People throughout my life have been making me feel sorry for them when I decided to put my foot down. Like with my friend who I got into a heated fight with. He always tells me about how upset he felt in the fight but never cared about how I felt about it. Hurt, depressed, betrayed, cheated on, thrown away, used, the list goes on and on.. It always seems like he’s trying to make me feel sorry for him even though he was the main cause of it. Same said with my dad. I remember this one time I didn’t want to go on …

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2

“You’re So Much Better Than That.” —Cassie, Suicide Survivor

June 7th, 2016by HERE4UOK

 

Please reconsider. If you can’t find motivation, it’s not because there aren’t reasons out there, out here. It’s because your state of mind blocks your view and your spirit from seeing ahead. And it’s ok, remember: IT’S OK TO NOT BE OK, as long as you ask for help.

I, unfortunately, am no genie. But like most of us here, I have my past. I have my experiences, and with all due respect, unless you’re terminally ill, you have every chance at witnessing how things really DO get better, but you need to do your part too. Help others help you.

Things most likely didn’t get bad …

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0

“I Didn’t Want To Die, But I Felt That I Had To…” —Kevin Hines, Suicide Survivor

  SeeSmith on another post here on SP said it well: “You are the LEAST qualified person to judge yourself [when you are in an ill state of mind]”. Don’t make the mistake of thinking for others, don’t assume you’re a burden or that others are just too “busy with their own lives” to care […]

2

Don’t Be Sorry for Struggling. We All Do at Some Point. It’s NOT Wrong Asking for Help, Not Doing So Is..!

  Ema il: suesyd . nomore at gma il . co m Kik: H4UOK Facebook: Suesyd Nomore

1

Depression: Love and sadness.

June 4th, 2016by StrawberryReunion

So I will start off by saying that this might seem like I am looking for attention but I am not. This is what I deal with and I don’t know where else to express myself. Please don’t judge me. I’ve had enough of that.

Depression is hard. Its like being strapped to a table and left there in the dark with a chronic pain that just gets worse and someone constantly whispering in your ear:
“If you give up, I can make the pain stop”
I sit there wondering “Is it right? It hurts just to breathe, Why is it happening? I hate myself, I hate everyone”
The more questions I ask myself the louder the voice gets.
“You aren’t enough” it says. “No one loves you, and no one ever will.”
I stare at the blackness and I ask it aloud “I tried to be a good person, I did the best I could. Why am I so unloved and always being hurt”
The voice repeats it self “You aren’t enough, but if you give up everything will be better”
Its like a dream come true. I can feel better? All I have to do is give up.
“How do I give up?” I ask the voice.
“Hm, well its easy. Put the gun in your mouth, Jump off that building, Inject those drugs there are hundreds of way to do it”
I think to myself long and hard “Wont that hurt? I don’t want to hurt anymore.” Suddenly I am reminded of all the hurts I have. All the people who I loved and who “Loved” me and how they had betrayed me and caused more damage. When I reached out for help and no one came.
“Only briefly” Is the response.
End.

 

I wish I knew what to say and do. I don’t want to be “That guy” Or that “Psycho” or “Here he goes again” but this is me. Its like an infection in my heart and soul. It forces only the negative into myself and whenever things start to get better. It shows itself. Another betrayal? Another lost lover? Someone else who hates me? Why am I not enough? I don’t know what to do. I want to die but more than that I want to not hurt but its endless. The pain doesnt stop. The doctors dont help. The drugs they prescribe don’t help. The people who “Love” me don’t help. There is nothing here for me.

 

So in case this is my “Suicide note” there is someone special I would like to address. I wont say your name but in case you read this: I love you. I never meant to neglect you. I never once cheated on you or lied to you. I tried to give you the best I could but I couldn’t.  I should have shown you I loved you. I should have taken care of you the way you deserved to be taken care of. You are the only person that ever showed me love when I had none. Who uplifted me when I felt down. Who held me when depression took over my life. Now you are gone and everything is worse than it was. Even though you betrayed as well. Lied and hurt me. I was OK because around you. I felt human. I felt like life was worth living. You gave me hope when I had none. 

6

emotional puke

June 4th, 2016by marellius

heads up everyone, i ramble. i feel nothing and at the same time i have so many thoughts that i cant think, so this is basically emotional throw-up. read it. or dont. im mostly just putting my thoughts down so that i can understand them better myself.

i was angry and sad today, as i often am, and stumbled across this site. whoever started it, kudos to you, because its nice to talk to people who understand, rather than broken records saying ‘dont be depressed, be happy’. lovely, i will just do that then. oh wait, i dont know how. its not a simple thing, though it seems like …

2

to my future self

June 3rd, 2016by thedrowninggirl

….because I’m not going to die, however badly I want to.

….because I know I’ll come back here and read this one day.

I hope you feel better now. You MUST do- if there’s no ‘better’ than this (as I’m so afraid might be the case) it seems impossible I’m still alive.

I hope you got to feel happiness again. I wonder how? I’m in so much pain now, Even if something happens to make me happy, the pain taints it. I didn’t know that was a real thing- I thought people were ungrateful for saying that! So ignorant.

I miss him so much. I’m scared to ask if …

38

Bearer of Bad News… ANT, R.I.P.

  I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I can share with all you SP members that a friend of Ant’s confirmed his departure. R.I.P. Ant, you leave us your words, music, and special sense of humor. Wish we could have made you stay with us a little longer, though.