Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

2

I wish things were different.

September 30th, 2014by Kalopsia

“From where you’re kneeling, this must seem like an 18 karat run of bad luck. Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.”

That quote sums up my life perfectly.

To understand why I’m doing this, I’ll need to explain a lot. Thank you if you read it all.

2012 I got out of an Abusive relationship. She beat the shit out of me over nothing. Jealous, possessive, constantly checking my phone. If I was a minute late getting home, I was cheating.

I moved into a house I’d been buying for Us. Not being able to afford the mortgage on my own, my mother offered …

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1

Dreams scatter as dew on gravestones

September 27th, 2014by Misutoraru

Zankoku na ikusa no ato; The cruel scars of battle

Oretachi wa yabureta hito; We are the ones who were defeated

Haisha ni wa sukui sae mo naku; There is not even salvation for the vanquished

Mujou ni ame wa furisosogu; The unfeeling rain pours down

Bohyou ni yume wa tsuyu to chiru; Dreams scatter as dew on gravestones

– – – – – – – – – –

“Like a rotten log half buried in the ground — my life, which has not flowered, comes to this sad end”; but not today. How else could I express what I’m feeling inside… I suppose this> :( will …

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11

Just another “how to die” post…

September 27th, 2014by ShellOfAGirlThatWas

I just turned 18 about a month ago… But for a long time I’ve suffered from suicidal thoughts.. I’ve attempted it before, but failed and ended up in a hospital to be watched.. They released me in two days… I tried to come back from it, and nearly succeeded… But now, I just don’t want to continue this battle anymore…

When I was younger… I was left in a foster home… I got physically abused, and verbally. I was sexually harassed, and yet… I struggled on… I thought of running away so often I nearly did it… But I was afraid… Then someone “saved” me… Turns …

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34

Life is Hell…

September 22nd, 2014by deathisbliss

Most people who say such a thing are being allegorical.

I believe that Hell is an honest truth of life in this reality.

Life IS a punishment….we are faced with death, dislike, hate, and every other real world judgment of our core being.

They hate or judge us for what we are…..our bodies, our personality, our intelligence, our stupidity…

Every weakness comes with a person to make us feel useless, pointless, hated, and meaningless.

None of us matter to any of these beings, because they are not real….they are like the whip in the hands of the torturer.

I wish I understood WHY we deserve to be punished….tortured….but that is beyond …

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7

Suicide > Website

September 22nd, 2014by DayDreamer6

This website isn’t helping. I’m at my lowest, I need help, yet no one helps. Thanks.

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5

My Dearest Collin

September 19th, 2014by rossonmarcus

My Dearest Collin

In the time that has passed since your death, I have struggled with why you did it…why you killed yourself.  You had no mental illness. You didn’t struggle with depression.  You had no previous attempts or cries for help.  You had a loving girlfriend that wanted to marry you.  You had a good job, good friends…a family that loved you.   So you had received several speeding tickets and lost your license.  So you got caught driving on a suspended license and extended the suspension of your driving priveledges.  So, you drove your inebriated friend home from the bar because he was in no shape …

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6

why do i do this to myself?

September 15th, 2014by copelessness

I wish I didn’t have hope. I have this stupid, delusional hope that something wonderful could happen to me but I know it couldn’t happen. Things like that don’t happen to me. Hope like that only ever crashes down on me.
Why do I torment myself like this? Why do I hope for something that won’t happen? Why do I feel things I shouldn’t feel?
I know in my heart, that painful, empty place inside my chest, that there is no hope, yet I choose to believe it anyway. I wish on a star and reach for her knowing full well …

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2

fuck Reality ! Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks ! Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring ! movies, novels books, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!

September 14th, 2014by niki

fuck Reality ! fuck real life ! fuck real world !
Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks !
Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring !
movies, novels, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!
there is no MAGIC, no SUPERPOWER , no ‘cool, magical’ SUPERHERO / SUPERHEROES like in those movie , novel , comics , game / games , manga / anime , etc etc !
FUCKING BORING real world / real life / reality !!!

I also hate this life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and …

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5

Sometimes it just gets a bit much

September 14th, 2014by coconut

I don’t know how this works, I’ve never done this before but I need some kind words right now. I’ve lost a part of myself. It’s so hard to be happy. So hard to be motivated. Surrounded by people but if you open up they always leave. 2 psychologists are helping me work through what happened, but I just need a friend.

My life story – I was always the happy one. But I was raised in a post apocalyptic cult and was psychologically abused until 21. I come from a broken family with domestic violence. My mum is not mentally there, still severely damaged from sexual abuse at a …

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4

I’ll feel how I want to feel

September 13th, 2014by pinkcoconut

I’m not sure where to express what I’m feeling. I don’t want to drag down my friends. I don’t want to announce it on Facebook.

I’m totally heartbroken. I miss my ex so much. He turned out to be not very nice in the end. I feel like I’ve lost part of myself. I can’t believe he could be so callous, so cold – to leave me when I was suicidal, two days after fleeing home because I couldn’t cope. He left me homeless and took advantage of me sexually. Like, what? How? This person told me he loved me more than anyone in the world …

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3

A piece of me

September 12th, 2014by HopefulForMe

Hi everyone, lately I’ve been thinking more and more about suicide. Over a year ago I met this guy who I feel in love with and after about 8 months I was told he had a girlfriend. Imagine the hurt and betrayal I felt by this. Sadly I wasn’t strong enough to walk away from him, it’s like he had some kind of control over me. I finally got to a place where I walked away from him for good about 5 months ago. I’ve been trying to better myself and move on with my life, I’m only 22. I’ve been trying to get back …

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3

Help

September 12th, 2014by jrmeador94

I keep making the same mistake. I keep looking for intimacy in random hook ups, like it’s the spark of life, but it’s hurting me. I’m putting my body through abuse, and my friends are scared of me. They don’t understand why I’m doing it and they keep away from me. I’ve been with so many girls and guys, broken my heart over and over, and I’ve swallowed so many pills but can’t die.

For 10 years it’s been an endless cycle of pain and numbing that pain. It’s maddening. I want to get out. I want to have friends. Get a girlfriend. Be happy where …

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2

“Not Falling”

September 11th, 2014by bigjamdaddy

“Not Falling”
by Mudvayne

Always, known in, all my time,
A little left of center now
Reflect as I realize,
That all I need is to find the middle pillar path to sit like the sun by a star in the sky and
just be.
Sinners, casting stones at me

I… I stand, not crawling, not falling down
I… I bleed the demons that drag me down
I… I stand, (for nothing), not crawling, (the center), not falling down (of calms within the eye)
I… I’ll bleed, (for no one), The demons, (but myself), that pull me down (for me and no one else)

Goodbye, sunshine, I’ve put it out again, sad
I’m over, personalities, conflicting, I don’t …

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1

I don’t even know what this post is

September 11th, 2014by queenofdarkness

When “I’m depressed”

comes out of the mouth of a 7 year old,

a kid too young to know what it really means,

you say “Don’t be one of those people, they’re selfish.”

Knowing full well that I am one of “those people.”

 

Is it terribly adolescent of me

to think,

“Oh yeah? You know what’s selfish? You. You and your fucking religion, fucking forcing me to do things I don’t believe in, praying fucking five times a day, wearing a fucking headscarf every fucking day, pretending I like the sexist homophobic Arab-elitist bullshit that spews out of the mouths of the imams giving the Friday sermons. You and your little victim …

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9

I’m going to kill myself tonight

September 11th, 2014by trippylikenirvana

I really need to let my story. I can’t tell anyone and I won’t tell anyone most of this. I’m going to go in order of events, and you tell me if I have a right to kill myself.

I was born in Iraq, during the war. It was horrible. I was never able to have a good night’s sleep. I always thought I was going to get murdered, bombed, raped. I was so scared. I was only 5. When I was 6, a week or two after my birthday, my dad went to work, like usual. On the way there, he got shot twice in …

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7

My feelings on why we feel depressed and suicidal

September 4th, 2014by LoveIsEverything

I have and still feel extremely depressed and at times suicidal – a helplessness, a feeling that no one really cares and deeply loves, that people are only concerned with their tasks in their busy-ness – in their own business.  Even people that are not suicidal and are adjusted to society, still feel emptiness in their hearts, I believe. I think very few people are genuinely happy and feel love and connection to life.

I think we become suicidal because we feel a terrible emptiness in life, and this emptiness we feel is because we don’t feel deeply connected to others. We get abused, screamed and …

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1

Gone

September 3rd, 2014by emptyalways

“Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time, here comes the start of every sleepless night, the first of every tear I’m gonna cry…”

 

Two months ago you were here.. and two months ago you died. Out of nowhere, and my heart has never felt so much pain. I keep trying to understand and I just don’t.. & I hate that I don’t.. This pain is unbearable. You were my best friend, my very best friend who knew every little thing about me and now you’re gone. We shared a connection no one understood and we loved each other so much. I can’t believe it would’ve …

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12

My Mom’s Divine Intervention and an Unexpected Gift

September 3rd, 2014by Unlov3d

Mom's Final Gift

    Yesterday, I got a package in the mail, but it was delivered to my aunt’s house. I went to her house, and when I saw the handwriting on the package, my knees buckled and the tears started to pour out my eyes.

    It was my mother’s handwriting. My aunt explained before my mom died last week, she sent the package to my aunt because she knew she didn’t have much time left. It was postmarked 25 August 2014, two days before she passed away.

    I opened the package, and it was three feet long,

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11

Texts i never sent him

September 3rd, 2014by brokenprincessteen

How i fricking miss you and your texts. How i fricking miss how we talked for hours. How you came after me. How we liked each other. How we would go home together. How you would bitch about her to me. Now tables have turned. Im lonely. You are with her. Everywhere. So close. I never was. So physically close. Do you like that. But i didnt want to freak you out. I could have flirted with you the way she always does. But i didnt want to be her. But now you prefer her dont you. You dont even say hi. You

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