Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

0

Nothing ends…

January 27th, 2015by LoveLost55

I feel nothing for anyone around me. Those that say they care, are more easily consumed by their own interests.  I hate my life.  I hate waking in the morning, the façade of a life I present to others, the happiness I show people daily, and, more so, not being able to sleep with my own thoughts at night.  Why do I continue?  […]

0

Tomorrow

January 26th, 2015by Streamers

Well, Annie owes me her bottom dollar…

I can’t take it anymore, I can’t.  I’ve been taunted, teased, and emotionally tortured for way too long.

I break down at the simplest thing. I’ve lost every bit of my will to go on.

All that is left is a yearning for death and escape.

I don’t have school tomorrow, that gives me plenty of time to plan and act.

I have nothing keeping me here, so why stay?

I’m leaving.

Sadly, no one’s gonna miss me when I’m gone.

8

No more feelings

January 26th, 2015by RedSmile

I reached a point where all the reasons to leave this world are strongest that the ones to stay. Something brokes in me, I can’t feel anything but hate, and this hate is slowly killing me from the inside, so I’m starting to wonder why shouldn’t I end this myself.

I don’t know what to do. All I asked was love but in my life, I’ve just known the wrong side of it. I was the one who was loving, never the one loved. And a lot of time, I thought that it will be it, that the nightmares will finally end but only false hope …

5

So Close

January 26th, 2015by Streamers

I was so close to admitting it. I nearly told my science teacher, who I don’t really don’t trust that much…

I didn’t pay a bit of attention in class, I just envisioned how it would go down.

I tried to tell her, but as the tears started to fill my vision, I choked. I swallowed the words and made up some lame excuse.

I’m lost, so very lost.  And even when I spend 30 minutes preparing, I still can’t talk.

What do I do?

After I walked out of science class, I told myself that it’s already been 5 years, what’s another?

I know that I’ve reached the point where …

0

Think everyone here can relate to this song… The Bravery – “Believe”

January 25th, 2015by B

Not only is this a great song, but I’d imagine that these lyrics can be interpreted by everyone here on a much deeper level than even intended.

 

B

1

Confused

January 25th, 2015by ojorangejuice333

i’m fairly lost, and i have nowhere left to turn,

I’m not sure what i want anymore.. i had my goals i had everything set up and ready for me, then my walls were crushed by all the pressure bulldozing me down and i cannot take it anymore.

I think about suicide a lot, but i know i could probably never go through with the act, just because i feel like i cannot leave people behind, my sister suffers from depression and my mum does too, and there in a different country to me, but if i do kill myself they would be so broken and then …

3

A drug by any other name

January 24th, 2015by killswitchon

A drug by any other name wouldn’t taste as sour as you do Pentobarbital. I’m so excited to press order and have you in my arms. In a world of inconsistencies and change you — pentobarbital are the only constant. That moment where I throw my head back and feel your bitter destiny wash down my throat will be a defining moment… Soon. Soon. Soon it shall finally be my end. Fuck you pento — I love you.

5

Strapped, Stocked, and Stark Naked

January 22nd, 2015by killswitchon

walls are closing in
absolve my walking sin
a smug smirk with a conceited grin
worship the inevitable
banish the incredible

walk on walk on walk on
to a land that knows no pain
a figment of reality all disdain
if you’re abel im cain
when im gone there’ll be nothing but a stain
life is no beauty its my bane

thinking of you tonight tropical flower
only you knew and saw through
your eyes welling with tears broke my power
a strong tower I am no more
beaten and battered to my core
walked all over your heart like a whore

take me to shore
capsize this boat the journey is over
lucks ran out I lost my four leaf clover
the …

0

aug 9th

January 21st, 2015by thesilentday

August 9th 2013, 5:54pm. Devastion was on the rise. My father had died then from being in a coma from an overdose of drugs. Now almost 8 months later I am just done, I can’t be around any longer, I feel like when I’m in school everything we talk about is conected to my parents. My mom dosnt have that much money as an average person, we r not poor, but we do rent for like 700$ among the 4 of us and its a small space. My mom dosnt notice I’m depressed or strugle in school because I try my best for her. And …

2

Man’s Best Friend & My Best Friend

January 21st, 2015by Trogdor7620

 

Just two days ago, my dog had to be put to sleep. As I’m typing this, I should be getting some sleep myself. It’s 1:30am, and I don’t want to, nor can’t I, sleep.

The worst part? He was my only real friend. From the moment I owned him, even to this day, I had, and still have, a grand total of zero human friends.

All my schoolmates did was one of three things: say hello once a month, ignore me, or see how far they could push me, if they could make me snap.

It must have been their favourite game: Push The Freak Until He Breaks. …

6

Just Stupid Things

January 20th, 2015by piercetheflower

1/16/15 This my first post on this profile. I had a previous one but could not log into it so this is my new one.

I had a shitty day Friday and it’s really hard when everyone says for me to “let it go” or “stop thinking about it, wait and see. Life will get better.” I’ve been told these things the past 7 years. I am almost 16, everything is boiling down to this one thing.

All my life I was abused, bullied and depressed. I don’t remember the last time I was ever fully happy. Every time I think about my past it just makes …

3

Idk what to do

January 17th, 2015by darksouI

uhm hi everyone,im new here.so last summer i tried to kill myself with pills but i failed and ended up in hospital for 2 weeks.i was diagnosed with major depression.my whole family thinks this is some kind of joke,they think that theres no way i could be depressed bc im just a teen and its so disgustin and annoying.my parents are horrible.theyre calling me names and expect too much.i cry almost everynight because i cant get their words oyt of my head.my mom thinks “i’ve everything” but to her everything is money and material stuff.they never tried talking to me and always act like everything …

1

Vulnerability

January 13th, 2015by cr-123456

Hello,

Thanks for taking the time to read this post. I have been thinking about shame and guilt. What I’ve noticed so far that I have done some terrible things in my life as a result of shame. I have intense suicidal thoughts due to shame. Shame, meaning I am a bad person and guilt meaning I have bad behaviors.

At times, I think people use shame and guilt interchangeably, which is detrimental to someone who struggles with mental illness. I have a lot of shame. I am shameful of my ethnic background, I am shameful of my behaviors and people I’ve hurt. There’s several things wrong …

2

Since I was…Born.., I need help… a great listener please!

January 12th, 2015by TrisPrior

Ever since the start of my life, I have wanted it to end, to die.
I was a baby [ idk how old] and I simply DIDN’T want to live, so I ate Christmas lights. I remember that day. I didn’t want to be there and its not THERE that I didn’t want to be. It was there as in alive. I was searching for things to kill myself with and found Christmas lights. I figured the light and glass would kill me, so I ate them.
2 years old I tried to run in front of a car.
3 years old I tried to stab …

3

I am MAD!!!

January 11th, 2015by Pretend Girl

I am mad! Mad at my depression that interrupted my life, caused heartache and hurts. Separated me from my family for my emotional safety. I am mad at the counseling I had that went no where because I didn’t understand my emotional state of mind, 20 years later!

Over the years I had counseling, but they said counseling wasn’t about dredging up your past, it’s about moving forward! But if the unresolved thoughts and feelings aren’t examined, it IS what I needed/need.

I tell you I am also mad about how many people are affected this way- family of origin does harm and leaves the child to heal …

4

somewhere up here

January 9th, 2015by youwillneverknowme

all i do is piss people off. even when i get remotely close to having a conversation, something happens; i fuck up and say the wrong things. i fucked up every relationship, friendship, i’ve had.
i have aspergers, i awkwardly walk in public, but perfectly fine when i’m alone. whenever i end a friendship with a woman by pissing them off, it’s usually because when we’re talking in public, i don’t elaborate on what she says, and so i respond with something along the lines of “yeah” “okay” and “err” (don’t ask, apparently i’m known for that). i think too much and don’t express myself …

0

Confused

January 9th, 2015by chopsios

A bit of a background is that I was bullied by my older brother to stop it happening to my little brother (us being around 4 when it started him being around 15/16) that continued until I was about 13. Fortunately I guess I remember none of it on the other hand i don’t remember anything that happened before i was 13. I feel very uncomfortable talking to people first, i don’t mind talking i mean i bloody love talking to people it makes me so happy but I’m too scared to message them first because i feel like I’m a burden and because of …

4

in limbo

January 8th, 2015by melancholicpony

I can’t kill myself because it would destroy my family, but I don’t want to live. My mother died 6 weeks ago. It occurred to me then that I might be free to end my life, as I have thought about doing for a long time. She was the main reason I could not kill myself, because I believed that doing so might literally kill her as well. Now that she’s gone, though, I look at my sisters and see how much they depend on me and each other, and I still can’t do it. I have a good family. I can’t act on these …

0

</3

January 8th, 2015by CandyCoatedCyanide

You in my life will live eternally but a heartbreak lasts forever so I stand here alone holding my heart in pain…

3

Whet My Appetite; Run To Nowhere

January 7th, 2015by killswitchon

Resist the squall that drags and yanks me to an alternate universe. Relinquish control to an imaginary figment of an objective reality locked in a servants watchful absolution. Abolish burdens that manipulate my every impulse. Wrest assured I shall wrench every heartache from your needy, elaborate grasp. Run, run to there, run to nowhere, run everywhere; run, run, run to me. No, run away. She sees my scattered thoughts fleetingly rushing past her discerning web of truth. Physical; handsome insides make for a handsome outside — beauty is only feels deep. Abolish. Allow. Permission to uncover and discover all you have to offer under your …