Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

6

why do i do this to myself?

September 15th, 2014by copelessness

I wish I didn’t have hope. I have this stupid, delusional hope that something wonderful could happen to me but I know it couldn’t happen. Things like that don’t happen to me. Hope like that only ever crashes down on me.
Why do I torment myself like this? Why do I hope for something that won’t happen? Why do I feel things I shouldn’t feel?
I know in my heart, that painful, empty place inside my chest, that there is no hope, yet I choose to believe it anyway. I wish on a star and reach for her knowing full well …

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2

fuck Reality ! Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks ! Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring ! movies, novels books, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!

September 14th, 2014by niki

fuck Reality ! fuck real life ! fuck real world !
Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks !
Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring !
movies, novels, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!
there is no MAGIC, no SUPERPOWER , no ‘cool, magical’ SUPERHERO / SUPERHEROES like in those movie , novel , comics , game / games , manga / anime , etc etc !
FUCKING BORING real world / real life / reality !!!

I also hate this life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and …

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4

Sometimes it just gets a bit much

September 14th, 2014by coconut

I don’t know how this works, I’ve never done this before but I need some kind words right now. I’ve lost a part of myself. It’s so hard to be happy. So hard to be motivated. Surrounded by people but if you open up they always leave. 2 psychologists are helping me work through what happened, but I just need a friend.

My life story – I was always the happy one. But I was raised in a post apocalyptic cult and was psychologically abused until 21. I come from a broken family with domestic violence. My mum is not mentally there, still severely damaged from sexual abuse at a …

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4

I’ll feel how I want to feel

September 13th, 2014by pinkcoconut

I’m not sure where to express what I’m feeling. I don’t want to drag down my friends. I don’t want to announce it on Facebook.

I’m totally heartbroken. I miss my ex so much. He turned out to be not very nice in the end. I feel like I’ve lost part of myself. I can’t believe he could be so callous, so cold – to leave me when I was suicidal, two days after fleeing home because I couldn’t cope. He left me homeless and took advantage of me sexually. Like, what? How? This person told me he loved me more than anyone in the world …

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3

A piece of me

September 12th, 2014by HopefulForMe

Hi everyone, lately I’ve been thinking more and more about suicide. Over a year ago I met this guy who I feel in love with and after about 8 months I was told he had a girlfriend. Imagine the hurt and betrayal I felt by this. Sadly I wasn’t strong enough to walk away from him, it’s like he had some kind of control over me. I finally got to a place where I walked away from him for good about 5 months ago. I’ve been trying to better myself and move on with my life, I’m only 22. I’ve been trying to get back …

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3

Help

September 12th, 2014by jrmeador94

I keep making the same mistake. I keep looking for intimacy in random hook ups, like it’s the spark of life, but it’s hurting me. I’m putting my body through abuse, and my friends are scared of me. They don’t understand why I’m doing it and they keep away from me. I’ve been with so many girls and guys, broken my heart over and over, and I’ve swallowed so many pills but can’t die.

For 10 years it’s been an endless cycle of pain and numbing that pain. It’s maddening. I want to get out. I want to have friends. Get a girlfriend. Be happy where …

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2

“Not Falling”

September 11th, 2014by bigjamdaddy

“Not Falling”
by Mudvayne

Always, known in, all my time,
A little left of center now
Reflect as I realize,
That all I need is to find the middle pillar path to sit like the sun by a star in the sky and
just be.
Sinners, casting stones at me

I… I stand, not crawling, not falling down
I… I bleed the demons that drag me down
I… I stand, (for nothing), not crawling, (the center), not falling down (of calms within the eye)
I… I’ll bleed, (for no one), The demons, (but myself), that pull me down (for me and no one else)

Goodbye, sunshine, I’ve put it out again, sad
I’m over, personalities, conflicting, I don’t …

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1

I don’t even know what this post is

September 11th, 2014by queenofdarkness

When “I’m depressed”

comes out of the mouth of a 7 year old,

a kid too young to know what it really means,

you say “Don’t be one of those people, they’re selfish.”

Knowing full well that I am one of “those people.”

 

Is it terribly adolescent of me

to think,

“Oh yeah? You know what’s selfish? You. You and your fucking religion, fucking forcing me to do things I don’t believe in, praying fucking five times a day, wearing a fucking headscarf every fucking day, pretending I like the sexist homophobic Arab-elitist bullshit that spews out of the mouths of the imams giving the Friday sermons. You and your little victim …

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9

I’m going to kill myself tonight

September 11th, 2014by trippylikenirvana

I really need to let my story. I can’t tell anyone and I won’t tell anyone most of this. I’m going to go in order of events, and you tell me if I have a right to kill myself.

I was born in Iraq, during the war. It was horrible. I was never able to have a good night’s sleep. I always thought I was going to get murdered, bombed, raped. I was so scared. I was only 5. When I was 6, a week or two after my birthday, my dad went to work, like usual. On the way there, he got shot twice in …

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7

My feelings on why we feel depressed and suicidal

September 4th, 2014by LoveIsEverything

I have and still feel extremely depressed and at times suicidal – a helplessness, a feeling that no one really cares and deeply loves, that people are only concerned with their tasks in their busy-ness – in their own business.  Even people that are not suicidal and are adjusted to society, still feel emptiness in their hearts, I believe. I think very few people are genuinely happy and feel love and connection to life.

I think we become suicidal because we feel a terrible emptiness in life, and this emptiness we feel is because we don’t feel deeply connected to others. We get abused, screamed and …

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1

Gone

September 3rd, 2014by emptyalways

“Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time, here comes the start of every sleepless night, the first of every tear I’m gonna cry…”

 

Two months ago you were here.. and two months ago you died. Out of nowhere, and my heart has never felt so much pain. I keep trying to understand and I just don’t.. & I hate that I don’t.. This pain is unbearable. You were my best friend, my very best friend who knew every little thing about me and now you’re gone. We shared a connection no one understood and we loved each other so much. I can’t believe it would’ve …

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12

My Mom’s Divine Intervention and an Unexpected Gift

September 3rd, 2014by Unlov3d

Mom's Final Gift

    Yesterday, I got a package in the mail, but it was delivered to my aunt’s house. I went to her house, and when I saw the handwriting on the package, my knees buckled and the tears started to pour out my eyes.

    It was my mother’s handwriting. My aunt explained before my mom died last week, she sent the package to my aunt because she knew she didn’t have much time left. It was postmarked 25 August 2014, two days before she passed away.

    I opened the package, and it was three feet long,

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11

Texts i never sent him

September 3rd, 2014by brokenprincessteen

How i fricking miss you and your texts. How i fricking miss how we talked for hours. How you came after me. How we liked each other. How we would go home together. How you would bitch about her to me. Now tables have turned. Im lonely. You are with her. Everywhere. So close. I never was. So physically close. Do you like that. But i didnt want to freak you out. I could have flirted with you the way she always does. But i didnt want to be her. But now you prefer her dont you. You dont even say hi. You

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1

My Life

September 2nd, 2014by im_ALIVE

Okay so I’m literally not joking when I’m say: My family is planning my life. No arranged dates or marriages (hopefully never) but they planned which college I’m going to, what my major will be, where I’ll go for grad school, my job my life my EVERYTHING. I never get a word in MY life.

I just wanna do what I wanna do. Sure I might not get well paid, but at least I’ll be happy. I mean, I’ll be spending most of my life doing my job, right? Then shouldn’t it be a job which I’ll be happy doing? I mean, what’s the point in …

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1

The past few years

September 2nd, 2014by hooch55

the past few years have been shitty for me. my best friend committed suicide july 30 2013 with a shotgun to the head in his bedroom. i was with him the night before and i feel that i couldve done something. as time passes i feel more and more compelled to do it myself. my life is a waste, i cant get further ahead in my career because the college education i have isnt enough which is the result of the economy and unfortunately i cannot make more than minimum wage. thats just the way it is. no one can get benefits anymore, and i …

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13

I’m a ship sailing, and the seas are rough

September 2nd, 2014by No_where_to_run

I don’t know what brought me to this website. First I was googling resources on suicide prevention  and it brought up a link, and here I am. To start things off, I’m not the kind of girl that would be found on here, according to my friends I’m a social butterfly, friendly, sweet and kind hearted. Why I may be those things, I’m also a lot for things no one could even imagine. My family would be completely devastated if they knew the thought of suicide was even slipping into my mind. Of course, people always say “you should see a councillor and get some …

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2

Ever

September 2nd, 2014by hellblau

Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.
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7

when to quit

August 30th, 2014by shadowmask

When do you know when to give up? Because i think its my time. A person can only handle so much. My whole life has been hard. My mom has verbally abused me. Tried to fight me and passed that on to my sister. They think the worst of me. But I’m pretty poplular. Not because im attractive or sluty but because im the person people go to for advice or someone to lean on.

I dont fight or do drugs I respect everyone because I want respect back. On my 17th birthday in june 2014 my mom died. Yes on my birthday. I still smile …

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2

karma

August 28th, 2014by kateralia

Karma

As I sit under this empty tree,I wonder how life could be so cruel to me.I give my all to those around,But karma doesn’t come back and surround. 

There are no answers that I can see,To ease this pain inside of me.But it will end sooner than you know,When all I have to do is let go. 

I cannot wait for karma to return,The love for my soul that I most yearn.All I hope is you learm from this,To take more care of those you might miss. 

D.A
.
.
author- me 2013
I had many more poems, but sadly I lost the only copies when I couldn’t …

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5

15 years

August 28th, 2014by Metal Myu Myu

[Ima made doshitara yoi no ka shirazu ni kizu o fukaku shita ha o tokashite].

I spent this whole time not knowing what to do, to dissolve the blade that deepened this wound.

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