Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

0

death

September 1st, 2014by meganers26513

https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/help-nembutal/dd0367cf-f827-40e1-acbc-3fb0540d5b36%40googlegroups.com

Hi i am looking for nembutal. I cant afford to travel or afford to purchase the drug.ive tried sleeping tablets mixed with painkillers but this didnt work. Could some1 please send me some nembutal please. I beg anyone for their help. Pinksliprs4@gmail.com please help anyone.i will b forever greatful

Po box 19987
Ashburton
South Africa
Pmburg
3213
Been to doctors and church etc. Just want out now

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7

when to quit

August 30th, 2014by shadowmask

When do you know when to give up? Because i think its my time. A person can only handle so much. My whole life has been hard. My mom has verbally abused me. Tried to fight me and passed that on to my sister. They think the worst of me. But I’m pretty poplular. Not because im attractive or sluty but because im the person people go to for advice or someone to lean on.

I dont fight or do drugs I respect everyone because I want respect back. On my 17th birthday in june 2014 my mom died. Yes on my birthday. I still smile …

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2

karma

August 28th, 2014by kateralia

Karma

As I sit under this empty tree,I wonder how life could be so cruel to me.I give my all to those around,But karma doesn’t come back and surround. 

There are no answers that I can see,To ease this pain inside of me.But it will end sooner than you know,When all I have to do is let go. 

I cannot wait for karma to return,The love for my soul that I most yearn.All I hope is you learm from this,To take more care of those you might miss. 

D.A
.
.
author- me 2013
I had many more poems, but sadly I lost the only copies when I couldn’t …

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5

15 years

August 28th, 2014by Metal Myu Myu

[Ima made doshitara yoi no ka shirazu ni kizu o fukaku shita ha o tokashite].

I spent this whole time not knowing what to do, to dissolve the blade that deepened this wound.

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3

8 September 1993 – 19 July 2012 – R.I.P J.M.

August 27th, 2014by Scarlett Dawn

R.I.P J.M

YOU’RE GONE

They dug him a grave six feet deep within the pallid earthly dirt amidst God’s acre

He is gone – a Priest announced sympathetically. Too young for his life to be over

After the cerise and snowy-white roses were gracefully cast upon his brown coaxed coffin; they covered his ashen body’s casket under a coat of soil, and a tile of risen concrete protection

The patch around his gravestone gradually becoming stonewashed
As the years of that significant date’s memorial’s winter sun shone down upon it evermore

I now realise the existence of the demons he’d been facing
My hands clenched in fists as I realised that even …

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2

When will it end?

August 26th, 2014by teamin

I can’t remember how long I’ve been depressed. It keeps getting worse. It’s changed who I am.

It was minor at first. It started to get worse after having five of my closest friends die in the same year. Two died from suicide and one of them I walked in right after she died. That was over three years ago and the image still haunts me. It won’t let me sleep.

I use to drink heavily and abuse drugs to cope. It only made the depression worse. I quit drugs for good but think about going back and try to forget everything. I went a year without …

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0

Understanding the Damned

August 26th, 2014by KissOfDeath

I don’t expect you to understand,

no one ever does.

Our own mental status should be controlled by our own hands.

We are all condemned to death,

so why are we just sitting around?

Like ticking time bombs,

why not handle our own miserable lives,

instead of allowing others to choose our fate.

 

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2

If my suffering could be manifested physically, I’m sure everyone would be okay with me leaving

August 26th, 2014by timetogonow

First time I tried to kill myself, I was 16. I overdosed and was hospitalised. I was raped and bullied. I left hospital and ignored calls from the police.

For the next five years, I felt myself losing a sense of who I was. A straight-A, goody two shoes, quit college (UK meaning of the word). I started over, but skipped school a lot. I ended up getting two As and a B at A Level. I got into a good university to study law, but I think they just wanted my money from international fees. I got a 2:1 with honours, but by the scrape …

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7

She just wants to go home…

August 25th, 2014by Suicides-Angel

So I’m 19…and supposedly a girl who has the world going for me. I’m “pretty” and smart and everyone loves me.

So they tell me. When I was 11, my mom abandoned me to a city who devoured me like the storm devours ships. I was gangraped nightly, used, abused, beaten…..starved, and tied to a bed for days at a time.

I’ve suffered losing everyone close to me, either being left or God takes them from me.

I found a guy that loved me for everything I was….and man I feel hard. And I was doing okay….until May 2nd, 2014 when I lost my daughter, Dylan Michelle…at 6:30 …

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2

Alone in Despair

August 25th, 2014by Scarlett Dawn

Surrounded by people yet all alone.
The summer sun bright in the sky.
Yet she felt nought but the cold of a dreaded winter

Finally she had opened up.
She allowed the world to know the pain she’d hidden inside all her life.
Yet the euphoria lasted but a couple of weeks
Like a waterfall she fell dramatically back into dysphoria

Her heart ached as she laid in her bed, the drugs numbing her body but not her mind.

She embraced her fears but she’d come this far and had just fallen.

Why were they helping someone that was corrupted, possessed by the darkness that haunted dreams and lives?

She knew …

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12

Careless

August 24th, 2014by Scarlett Dawn

I hate the stench of stale tobacco on my clothes. I hate the sensation of being far from reality when the drugs attack my body and mind. I hate the lack of sensibility when the devils nectar poisons my brain. I hate stealing from the oblivious shopkeepers. I hate driving when intoxicated and drugged, smiling at the police officers that watch me beaming- as though they gather I have nothing to hide behind my misleading smile. I hate when the doctors tell me I am doing fine.

I’ve long perfected the ability to play the game right and pretend that I am same.

As I drive down the …

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16

Fuck this world.

August 23rd, 2014by taipan67

No words can ever express THE FULL EXTENT of how fed up and done with this steaming pile of dogshit we call human society, on this rock, in this universe with these laws of physics, as I am. I’ve surpassed the thin boundaries of apathetic, I am a void with human form. The unbelievably idiotic things I hear people say and think on a regular basis make me want to use a metal baseball bat to smash their heads in. The gene pool is polluted by people who should’ve been strangled several times over already. Fuck they’re dumb as rocks.

Maintain, maintain, maintain, maintain, and maintain. …

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3

My life ; update

August 23rd, 2014by lostsoulblanklife

I’ve been more depressed these days, listening to sad songs such as;

Youth – Daughter

Who you are – Jessie J

To build a Home – The Cinematic Orchestra

Before You Start Your Day – Twenty One Pilots

Those songs really get to me. They have a huge background, because I used to listen to them two or three years ago when my life was really going downhill.

I’ve met some friends online, but two of them lied to me. But not just a little white lie.. It was like huge ones for both of them.

One of them – Named Lauren - She lied about getting raped, getting pregnant, then being stabbed.. …

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2

No God – Jesse Gunn

August 21st, 2014by teardownthewall

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L4mgS6CITlg

the popes got it wrong
when theres no more ozone
we will see the falacy
with our last breath

we’re all going to hell
with no water to quench the smell
inhaled in a blind hurry
a dead man walking at a feast

and our apologies won’t mean a thing
the childrens eyes will shame every human being
each passive one of us a sentencing
but the law rarely gets you for doing nothing

what we have done
knows no logical bounds
we have spoiled the earth
we gangrape the ground

when our plans got botched
we just stood by and watched
we can not explain away
everyone knew that we’d see this day

and our apologies won’t mean a thing
the childrens eyes will …

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4

is superhero real exist ? are superheroes real exist ? is superpower or magic real exist ? (like in those cool movies, games, comics, novels, books, anime / manga, etc) ? fuck this boring reality / real world / real life !!

August 21st, 2014by niki

is superhero real exist ?
are superheroes real exist ?
is superpower or magic real exist ? (like in those cool movies, games, comics, novels, books, anime / manga, etc) ?
you know, like in those ‘cool’ superhero movies : X-Men (X Men), Superman, Thor, Spiderman, Iron man, Captain America, or in those ‘cool’ fantasy / sci-fi (sci fi, science fiction) movies : Harry Potter, Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, TRON, or games like Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, etc etc ..

otherwise, fuck this boring reality / real world / real life !!

I hate reality, I hate life , I hate this very *LIMITED* & …

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2

The Rope

August 21st, 2014by KissOfDeath

I don’t understand what you’re expecting of me,

your needs a bottomless pit.

Just because you don’t understand these feelings,

doesn’t make me a misfit.

I don’t wish you to understand,

this mind, it’s my own personal hell.

I’m scribbling down my note written in my own twisted fate,

hoping no one remembers to tell.

The rope, hung ever so delicately,

my last and final hope.

The knocking on my door loudens,

as my body begins to mope. 

 

 

 

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17

Questions

August 20th, 2014by KissOfDeath

What in life makes it so hard for you to stay?

 

What is your magic potion?

 

What has made you stay this long?

 

What’s the thing you’ll miss the most?

 

Who do you think will miss you the most?

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0

It’s Time to be Selfish.

August 20th, 2014by KissOfDeath

People call suicide “Selfish,”

Well I believe it’s time for me to be selfish.

All this world has done for me is drag me down,

it’s the weight that’s pulling me down to the bottom.

Why should I care about others feelings being hurt,

when they have done nothing to benefit mine.

We’re all going to die sometime,

so why not do it now?

Get it over with,

so the scars of grief caused by our deaths heal,

so our sorrow of being alive will end.

 

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2

Just Another Lousy Poem

August 20th, 2014by KissOfDeath

It’s  hard to pick yourself up,

after you fallen.

It’s hard to “cheer up,”

when you have felt this way for years.

It’s had to “move on”

when your life is a stop sign.

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4

Permanent Scars

August 20th, 2014by KissOfDeath

Our eyes met,

and for some reason I just couldn’t resist you,

I fell fast and so did you.

But then the sweet words you called me turned sour,

the touching wasn’t so gentle anymore,

you left bruises and scars,

but somehow it felt better to go through this pain with you,

than without.

I never believed in God,

but I started praying for death,

hoping some greater power could take me out of this misery.

Your mean words became my reality,

and my bruises you left on my body never healed,

they were permanent.

I left you, with swollen eyes and a heavy heart,

never knowing if I would find someone that would make me so miserably happy.

 

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