i’m dying on the inside.
I know longer know what to do. I don’t know how i got the way that i am, but i feel as if i was born to die & now that feeling is grabbing me more than ever.
i’m in high school, but i haven’t gone to school in about a month. i just show up every once in a while, when i’m in there i feel like killing myself. but switching schools is no option for me.
my parents seem quite disappointed but they don’t understand that this is an ongoing battle i have dealt with for over 3 years. I almost choked myself right infront of my mom to show her how much pain i was in and how much i hated myself..i know it was quite selfish. i’ve never seen my family cry like this before, but they don’t understand that i need to be free and once i’m dead i’ll either be in God’s hands or the devils and they will no longer have the stress that i create them.
I’ve attempted suicide so many time but yet there’s always something holding me back, and i’m not even sure what.
please help me, i’m begging.
i get treated like shit most of the time, i do something nice than someone has to come along and ruin it all for me as if my time and work was nothing. i hate it, it makes me want to cry.
all my parents really talk about is the credits i might loose because of the amount of absences, but they don’t understand that i won’t even be alive to finish those courses. they’re unsure of what goes on in my mind, but it’s all killing me.
i dont know whether i should go with hanging myself, choking myself, or drinking nail polish since apparently it burns your organs and leaves you dead with a few hours.
i dont know what to do, please take me seriously. i’m tired of getting treated like this as if i’m a joke, even though i suppose i am.
5 comments
I couldn’t take school anymore. It was killing me. I just dropped out lied to people why I left. I forget now.. Maybe that was two years ago? I don’t know.
I perfectly understand were your cominq from.I need my three days a week away from school,never skipped a month tho.And aqain I know what you mean by you jus want to hurt yourself to prove to the people that what your qoinq threw Is real….I won’t treat you like shit,wanna find out?
Definitely not a joke. Your pain is certainly evident in your post, but you never mention what’s CAUSING the pain. Do you know what’s causing it? Because, if you do, then that’s what you have to fix.
You’re WAY too young to do this to yourself – you have no idea what you can do yet even! There’s SO much out there – so many cool things you can do and you CAN get past this. If you’re this serious about doing something so permanent, then find the courage to communicate with your parents in a calm but serious way about how you’re feeling. If you really cannot bring yourself to do that, you can tell from this site that you’re not alone and you have to take steps to get rid of your pain. People will help you. You have nothing to lose. Try courage.
i can’t tell my school that i’m suicidal or that i struggle with depression cause then social workers will get involved, and i really don’t need that.
i guess i just got tired of getting used around.
i’m not really sure what caused me to be like this, but i know i hate myself and it began when i was younger.
i hate it, cause everyone tells me they looked up to me and that it’d be a waste of talent. but how can i explain it to them that i just wanna put a knife through my heart and be free, far away from here.
I have been there pal. First take a deep breath and assess the situation. It sounds as if you have depression like me. From being where you are I have reached the top, dropped back again, had my fair share of set backs and it was today I said to myself “this is the best I have been in years” when I start saying things like that, one should take note because something very exciting is about to happen and fairly soon. My recent upturn has been the result of reverting back to an old medication that always worked well but I stopped taking it for various reasons.
Anyway, firstly if you feel anxious or nervous all of the time, over/under sleep then you might want to speak to a doctor about it. Your probably too inexperienced to deal with anti depressants. The side effects can be nasty. Even at my age.
Try and identify the problem areas and deal with them accordingly. But we can’t advise unless you give more details.