The depression break downs I seem to experience are coming back more and more this week. Yesterday I was just so depressed I couldnt pull myself up. I got up to take my medicine and ended up just laying in the floor. It just felt like it wasnt worth getting up to survive. My fight with my dad is getting no better. Hes still choosing his wife/ex-wife (its complicated) over me. My mom keeps saying Karma comes around..he`ll regret it when hes older. Thats not good enough to me. I dont want to wait. I want him in my life now. Its just frustrating
As much as I want to die, especially during those moods, I know I wont. I got to the point where I couldnt even cut myself. I took a handful of pills last night hoping magically they would kill me. They didnt. I mean obviously it wasnt enough..nor the right combo. Im just ready for something new. Im sick of my life right now, Im sick of crying, I am not sick of these mango bars which are like ultimate happiness to me.
Im saving up for the book “101 alternatives to suicide” off amazon. Hopefully that`ll distract my mind.
“Is this all a dream
Wake me up, I’m living a nightmare
I will not die,I will survive”
3 comments
I noticed that your username says ’97. Same as me. That means you are 14 or 15. I know everything seems so bad right now. I know that it seems like life is too tough. I know just for once you want to be noticed for how great you are and the person you are. Trust me though. Not this way. I lost a friend during the spring by suicide. No one even had a clue. When life gets tough, you just have to fight back. Think about what your future could be. Your children, soul mate, job, and being yourself. Everything we ever dream of as a child. Stick it out. You can do this. I believe in you. Believe in yourself. We are here for you. <3
Im 15. I noticed when there was a suicide at my school, it just seemed everyone mourned for a while…and it really had me thinking.
Thank you for commenting…Im trying to find reasons to live and those were great ones
http://suicideproject.org/2012/07/so-you-want-to-die-think-theres-no-hope-and-you-have-nothing-to-live-for-read-this-email-me-if-you-think-differently-or-just-talk-to-me-because-i-care-wether-you-believe-it-or-not/